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What does Manav think?he really expects that? (Page 5)

PhoenixTears IF-Dazzler
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Posted: 24 June 2013 at 2:53pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by lazylad8-FauZi

Originally posted by PhenoixTears

Thats the best part of this show that it shows the reality.. No matter you dated girl in frock or jeans, once you get married, initially you have follow all the traditions of husband's family and till initial phase gets over, you become so use to follow all these things that they didnt seem so awkward to you.. It is sad but true esp if you live with in-laws or joint family! Thats what I have seen around me... Even husband wont support you in wearing shorts/skirts if every lady in his family wears saree on daily basis, sad but true Cry And trust me, its their favorite dialogue "I Have Full Faith on You, You will Learn Everything" WinkLOLWink





Why does the woman have to change??? 

As far as my personal experience goes, after marriage both man and woman undergoes many changes and adjust their life according to each other but in terms of learning traditions and culture, its always woman who has to learn new things as she is the one who is coming to live in another house which can be natural but those changes should not kill some one's personality and beliefs! Worst is if someone doesnt want to follow the traditions, rather than trying to understand her situation, everyone thinks that she is not obeying elders and has no respect for them. I am a punjabi married to a bengali family but now after 4 years I think I know more about Bengali traditions than my husband eventhough I live miles away from my in-laws and in 4 years I been with them only for 15 days Smile Lectures can be done via phone and skype too, you know Wink 


Edited by PhenoixTears - 24 June 2013 at 2:55pm

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Tulips123

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Posted: 24 June 2013 at 4:07pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by crazyforsanaya

Absolutely agree with everything you say.
It really boggles my mind that the girl is supposed to erase her entire life just because she gets married.
in the words of one who knew:
UN. FREAKING. BELIEVABLE!!!!!!!!
 
And please, I don't want the excuse that the "girl loves boy so she will do everything for him and change" bull! Why doesn't the boy do that???
 
PUHLEEASSSE!!!!!

Women used to change in the olden times, now its a different world!!!!!!!!!!


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Posted: 24 June 2013 at 7:02pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by DiyaS

Chill, guys Big smile 
No man is an ideal husband immediately after marriage ... in fact most men grow up after marriage Tongue Okay - 'most' might be an exaggeration ... but all guys, especially if they have lived  only at home, don't see anything wrong in many of their family's customs and traditions. Manav has never questioned the rules of his house earlier, especially not the one applied to his bhabhis. So he automatically assumes CC will follow them. And he hasn't realised till now how uncomfortable she is in sarees ...

Guys learn to be good husbands after marriage only ... their wives teach them LOL Manav will also learn slowly ... it does happen in real life that way.

Agree absolutely... Manav does not know what to say...he is also learning to be a husband as CC is learning to be a wife! Talking from experience ...Big smile

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DiyaS

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Posted: 24 June 2013 at 7:11pm | IP Logged

The operative word in your sentence is 'think' - I don't actually think Manav has actually thought about it much, if at all. For him this is the norm. I doubt if he ever thought about what his bhabhi's wore before marriage as far as he knows the women in his home wear sarees and manage fine in them. I don't think he actually has any idea at all of how difficult it was for CC to manage and she was apologetic because she was feeling bad for letting UB down and she told him the sari was heavy not that she didn't want to wear it. His response of 'you'll learn...' was actually encouragement. Had she said 'I don't want to wear a sari' and then he'd said you'll learn that would have been condescending and inappropriate. Yes he knew that CC wore western clothes but how is he to know that she's not comfortable in a sari. I've lived my whole life in Europe and my normal dress code is western wear but I can wear a sari and am comfortable enough in one to do light houswork (never tried with a pallu on my head though and I think I'll give that one a missSmile) so I think Manav can be excused for not knowing that CC would have a problem with wearing a sari

Honestly when that scene aired my immediate reaction was what a horrible thing to say but having thought about it a little it really wasn't that bad. My only issue was the comment he made in front of Ranjana - it was bad enough without having an audience too but this time I'll forgive him for reacting to hearing that his Mom was upset but  cvs it shouldn't happen too often.Smile

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stg1NewbiesoapfanDiyaSxAaliya

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Posted: 24 June 2013 at 7:30pm | IP Logged
Most man are like this.They date an ultra modern girl and expects her to turn a saree clad Bahu after marriage.
Tulips123 Senior Member
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Posted: 24 June 2013 at 8:18pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by PhenoixTears

Originally posted by lazylad8-FauZi

Originally posted by PhenoixTears

Thats the best part of this show that it shows the reality.. No matter you dated girl in frock or jeans, once you get married, initially you have follow all the traditions of husband's family and till initial phase gets over, you become so use to follow all these things that they didnt seem so awkward to you.. It is sad but true esp if you live with in-laws or joint family! Thats what I have seen around me... Even husband wont support you in wearing shorts/skirts if every lady in his family wears saree on daily basis, sad but true Cry And trust me, its their favorite dialogue "I Have Full Faith on You, You will Learn Everything" WinkLOLWink





Why does the woman have to change??? 

As far as my personal experience goes, after marriage both man and woman undergoes many changes and adjust their life according to each other but in terms of learning traditions and culture, its always woman who has to learn new things as she is the one who is coming to live in another house which can be natural but those changes should not kill some one's personality and beliefs! Worst is if someone doesnt want to follow the traditions, rather than trying to understand her situation, everyone thinks that she is not obeying elders and has no respect for them. I am a punjabi married to a bengali family but now after 4 years I think I know more about Bengali traditions than my husband eventhough I live miles away from my in-laws and in 4 years I been with them only for 15 days Smile Lectures can be done via phone and skype too, you know Wink 
lol Tongue tell me abt it  Wink

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PhoenixTears

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Posted: 24 June 2013 at 8:20pm | IP Logged
yeah, this is common and acceptable to a lot of people, i dont like it but it happens unfortunately and not just in india! example, i'm in the uk, born and brought up, and my cousin here married a boy of her choice who told her that they would be living with his parents after which she accepted. 

after marriage she was told by her in-laws that she had to always be properly dressed in the house, as in not in night clothes/pyjamas/dressing gown and western clothes (that we practically live in) were ok for work, but at home it had to be traditional indian wear! 

so, 21st century female, degree educated, great job, liberal upbringing - and the fundamentals at her in-laws r the same as they were 20 or 30 years ago for our parents generation! we find it hard sometimes to accept that she's ok with this as she was totally different at her parents house, but i guess if u're happy within ur marriage u adapt and these things matter less Smile 

but yeah, i agree with u, i get angry at anyone encroaching on my personal freedom, my parents have brought me up with my own value system and a certain set of beliefs, i am who i am so i dont know why i should change myself for ANYBODY. but i think they have to show this because more than cc adapting they have to show the change in maanav too, if he was perfect right now there would be no story Tongue

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Newbiesoapfan

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Posted: 24 June 2013 at 9:14pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by golpokobita

Originally posted by GodhuliLogon

sometimes .. girls change themselves .. my dearest friend after marriage wore burqa while going to in-law's home .. and she dated that person for 4 yrs .. but sometimes for his happiness girls would do this stuff.. so its quite common..  specially in regards to in-laws.. 


hopefully manav will show his modern thinking in this case .. 

If that gives her happiness, i don't find it wrong. Men change too after marriage. 

I know man who never saw any woman in his family without Burqa,accepted his wife with pallu only and didn't ask her to wear burqa knowing she was uncomfortable. and the girl who never thought of covering her head did that for her husband's happiness. So its a middle ground where they met.

Having said all these, I don't think Manav will make CC do what other bhabis do. He will certainly be much more logical, if not rebel. And for CC .. there are lot more bigger issues in her hand. Wasting time and energy for dress will not do something great for the society. When she will change UB's attitude towards women, dowry and other bigger social evils, she would succeed. Thats where the girls of today's generation should concentrate. If CC can make a bigger change at the cost of moder outfit, whats the harm??

the thing is I could relate to manav in that sense that I have seen this around me.. abt my friend her husband requested her to do that only in-front of  in laws .. otherwise she wears any kind of modern dress .. so yeah it depends .. if some scarifies can give some happiness to other loved ones.. 

After watching it I  really got angry with Manav for the way he almost charged her for not walking in sarees .. he knew from before abt her ... he could have told I knew its difficult for u ... but that behavior was not accepted by me at all..

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