Posted: 24 June 2013 at 10:22pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by mads
diya!! so nice to reply to you here ... after a long time!
well, if you ask me, then I believe wearing a saree is not exactly a tradition, yes it looks like that in the way that is is made obligatory, but after all it it just another clothing style .. and nothing is more Indian than a saree, I think every Indian girl looks her most beautiful in a saree (and we have the perfect example of Sanaya
) ..and Manav right now has no clue about how comfortable or uncomfortable Chanchan is in a saree, because honestly he doesnt really know her that much..they got married pretty fast .. and ofcourse he wouldnt expect her to wear sarees when they went out on the couple of dates that they did .. he thinks its completely normal for a girl to wear a saree and has grown up in a house where he saw all the married ladies wearing a saree, plus, he has seen Chanchan's mom and her dadi wearing sarees...so he thinks it is pretty normal for a girl to switch to sarees once she gets married and believes that Chanchan already knows this .. so I dont think he is wrong in expecting Chanchan to be able to carry off a saree... and even Chanchan is fine with wearing sarees.. maybe what should change is the frequency of wearing a saree, that a saree should be worn only during pujas and ther such big occasions and otherwise it is okay to wear salwar suits..which is pretty much how normal families function..
but as far as the pallu bit is concerned, yes I think that is one tradition that you should get rid off asap.. and it would be great if they show Manav realising it ..although how, I have no clue..so for me, it would be good if either of Ranjana or Sanjana realise about the unfairness of the pallu bit .. Kaumudi wouldn't, since she is the quiet mellow type of a bahu accepting whatever comes her way..
Also another tradition that needs to be changed is that DILs sit together on a dining table with everybody .. the entire family..cannot blame Chanchan for wanting her life pre marriage translate into her post marriage, but also agree with Ranjana when she says that things are bound to change after marriage..I liked the fact that Ranjana-Sanjana started thinking there was something amiss about all the factors that they percieved to be a "norm" in this house...
Ranjana is super jealous of Chanchan right now because acc to her Chanchan has everything that she had dreamt of but couldnt have .. but I believe she would be the first one to agree with Chanchan's values and beliefs too, because in a way, she too wants to be a free bird, unlike Kaumudi and Sanjana..
Good to see you posting here again!!!
I'll repeat what I said elsewhere ...
Different styles of dressing
actually evolved because they were suited for that time and climate ...
saree is the oldest known traditional dress, because it
involved no stitching at all, so it actually pre-dates tailoring! It's a
wonder such an ancient dress has survived so many thousands of years
and it has to be because it is not only part of tradition, but because
it is also comfortable and convenient clothing in the country it evolved
in. So are salwar suits ...
I find myself far more comfortable in
suits than in jeans or skirts when I go to India, because they are far
more suited for the climate. I like jeans only in winter - in summer, I
prefer wearing churidars and salwars - they cover you completely from
the sun and are loose enough to be comfortable.
exactly the point. Clothes should be comfortable, convenient and
appropriate to the time and place.
If you work in a Western style
organisation, wear western clothes by all means. But currently, two days
into married life in her new home, with in-laws all over the place, it
is perfectly appropriate for CC to wear sarees ... or any Indian dress,
actually .. On the contrary, it would be inappropriate for her to slip
into jeans so soon. A few weeks or months after marriage, fine ... if
she decides to start working again, also fine ...
If you visit countries like China and Japan ... one thing will strike you ... everyone is into Western clothes ... jeans, shorts, skirts, Tshirts. In countries like India, Malaysia, Indonesia, Vietnam, you still find a good number pf people wearing traditional clothes ... because they are comfortable, convenient and acceptable. And I like it that way ... a country should
retain its traditional dresses ... why ape the West in this? Why are
only Western clothes acceptable ?
And THAT is the point - one should
wear what one wishes to wear - It should not be forced on a person.
BUT one has to see the circumstances and
Currently CC is not
averse to wearing Sarees ... it's appropriate for a newly married girl.
She's not used to the pallu, and since that is not comfortable for her,
she should be allowed to drop it - IF she wants to. HER CHOICE. If she wants to go
out with Manav and wear something different, more appropriate to where
they are going, again it should be her choice. If elders or more
traditional visitors are present, she should dress in Indian clothes ...
there is no harm. As long as clothes are comfortable and appropriate,
she can wear what she wants. She can drop the pallu in the kitchen ...
the men don't come in there, and if she can't handle it, it's a fire
hazard, then it's stupid to insist on it there. Ideally she should dress
in suits while in the kitchen, she can change into a saree when the men
come home, if sarees are mandatory in front of the FIL and elder BILs.
Even more ideally, there should be no dress code - as long as her
clothes are decent and appropriate, she can wear what she likes.
The point is freedom of choice. But with that freedom comes responsibility ... the responsibility of making the judgement as to what is appropriate at what time.