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Traditions - To Keep or Discard? (Page 3)

DiyaS IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 24 June 2013 at 11:23am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Guinea

I really liked the episode today ... Thought the dining room scene was cute ...loved it when ub gets the advice of going to the dentist ... Funny. 
One really cute scene was the way sanaya puts the palla on her head when the light is switched on after manav gets bashed ...it was hilarious , will see it again. 

The romantic scenes were awesome ... Their comfort level is so obvious and loved sanaya in the pnk floral night gown , she looked lovely. 

Regarding the scene of manav siding with his bhabhi ... Its a typical man's reaction , they are generally obtuse to women and their under currents ...it takes a while for wives to " make them understand " an for the men to behave accordingly. 

I am enjoying the show ...


That part was hilarious ... Umaben was trying to get the rotimaker banned by her husband, I think ... by saying the rotis were not good ... she got caught in her own words LOL Manek talking so seriously and worriedly about the dentist cracked me up LOL

I was annoyed with Manav at that moment ... but it's actually very true to life ... typical man all right!  Clueless to Ranjana's motives ... and he really doesn't know how uncomfortable it was for CC ... Ranjana left that part out completely.

I LOVED the ChhanMan scenes today ... they were adorable! Embarrassed Chhanchhan using her wet hair to wake up Manav ... awww Embarrassed ChhanMan already have a very good understanding ... but let's see if UB manages to create cracks in that ... that's her ultimate goal, after all.

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I-Heart-SanzshowviewerGuinea

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Posted: 24 June 2013 at 11:31am | IP Logged
Originally posted by spirit

 Loved reading the post Diya, as usual. its about outlook shaped largely by those traditions... And CC  will soon realize(its early days yet) that how she sees things, perceives them is drastically different from the way most people of BS household have been 'trained' to or habituated to respond to. It's more like, two people standing at the same point looking at the same thing but differently... So It's going to be a tough battle for CC this one, to win over them, first she has to understand where they are coming from... and they will have to see things the way she does too. But this will require understanding from both sides... Compassion that I see only in her eldest Bhabi, the others are tied by the endless loop of UB's idiosyncrasies - and so have fallen prey to UB's plans... It's hard in real life, but here UB is making it double hard. This is like a little world within a world headed by UB that runs in her dictates, while others have survived , CC won't be able to for too long...unless some rules change...but How will things converge? Is it really possible in reality? I don't know, but I'm sure it would be a tough ask for someone like CC brought uo by her free spirited parents and the liberal upbringing to adhere to everything and by that I mean some antiquated customs of her new home. 

How much do you lose yourself in the process? Or is that inevitable. It will be made easier if Manav stands with her and understands her but this early days...and UB is like mistress of relentless attacks.  


Very true, spirit ... it's actually less about traditions than it is about how Umaben uses them for her own convenience ... Chhanchhan has been brought up in a family which is liberal, but at the same time, rooted in their culture and traditions too ...
There is a difference in observing traditions meaningfully, and observing them rigidly, without understanding the true meaning and reason behind them. And that is really what liberal thinking is all about ...

But like you say ... how will these changes come about? It does happen in reality ... education plays a big role, and also exposure to new and outside influences ... that is how every generation is a little different from the older one. The trouble with Umaben is that she is trying to keep her family bound in a time warp and not let the outside world influence them at all ... that is why she has brought bahus from families as traditional as her own, so that her rules are not questioned.

Manav has his own learning curve to go through ... that was made clear today ... so the story of Chhanchhan's journey starts with its first tremulous steps ...

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crazyforsanaya Senior Member
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Posted: 24 June 2013 at 11:35am | IP Logged
tfs
Have yet to see the epi, tonight.  TEN more hours to go!!!!!!
Don't understand why the girl ALWAYS has to change and do EVERYTHING!! I would have thought Manav would be a supporter of his wife. Not say something like "you'll learn!" To his NEW wife. She needs his support. She is in new surroundings. Is he clueless??
It is upsetting to think that he would say something without thinking of the effect it would have on his NEW wife. For instance, why would she want to learn how to walk, be or work in a saree. She didn't walk around in a saree before, why should she do it now?? Did anybody ask her her wish? Why would her wants, desires, wishes, her WILL be of any less consequence than say, UB's or anyone else's for instance??
And first of all, it is not even humane or in good ettiquette to make someone wait to eat until you have eaten. Now that, I would say, is disrespectful! And is Manav eating without his wife? Disgusting! Are the women in that house second class citizens? And does Manav condone that for his wife?? Hell, I would want my husband to tell me to eat with him. And insist upon it! This is not tradition! This is an example of tradition twisted to suit the convenience of the dominator!
 
The title "Modern Bahu" depicts the thoughts, ethics and idealogies of today's woman. Does not necessarily mean she does not believe in traditions. Traditions are the necessity of generations for their identities. However, ancient and depressive idealogies in the name of traditions are an evil on society. And human beings from time immemorable have changed the truth to suit their convenience. I think this is the basis of the show.  Modern does not mean that one wears western clothes or is rude or disrespectful or goes to clubs. But that is the way that society depicts the "Modern" people. And probably, the CVs want to change this idea and make people understand that ( to take a real basic example) if someone wears a mini dress, does not mean they are shameless or without ethics. Or that if someone is strong enough to voice their opinions, and follow them, does not mean they are being disrespectful!
And yes, you are right, there is learning to be had on both sides. But I really want Manav to support Chhan Chhan in everything. Otherwise, there was no point in getting married! Imagine Chhan Chhan's position. A new house, new people, outworldly friendly, but when push comes to shove, do not support her. A MIL who is by all appearances, loving, but doing everything happening to her that is negative. And then to top it off, a husband who is not supportive!! What's the point of romance and cute moments, when your husband does not understand you when it comes to crunch??!
Sorry, i'll stop my rant now!!
 
 


Edited by crazyforsanaya - 24 June 2013 at 12:17pm

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I-Heart-SanzkbtrDiyaSGuinea

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Posted: 24 June 2013 at 11:37am | IP Logged
Hey Diya,

Awesome post! Nicely summed up...

The stern word has created quite a stir...LOL...bechara Manav...

Honestly being married so many years...been there..done that...completely in sync with Manav and his thought process...Wink

Well said about Chhanchhan, who finds it weird that they did not sit as a family and eat together...which is a common thing in a neutral one...there for a moment when she questions her bhabhis that "wouldnt they have liked that' there is a sense of "I wish so" and then the barking voice of UB...brings them back to reality!

Loved the episode ...a dash of everything today!


 

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Posted: 24 June 2013 at 11:40am | IP Logged
Originally posted by DiyaS

Originally posted by *KAaajAL*

hi diya i dont knw if u r married or not.,..i m married..you will not beleive my mil is more modern than my hubbyCry..and here manav loved his mother a lott..he still ius unaware of her true colors...Ouch

He thinks that ub accepted cc whole heartedly..men will be men..before mariage they are diufft and after marriage thy take a 360 deg turn...Angry

Today episode was bang on what a comfort levelk of anuj and sanaya.wowow..no words to describe that...ClapStarThumbs Up

Ranjana will surtely give cc a tough time..and nw that ub knws abt ranjana ..she will gett hings done thro her...

agree with nishi..manav is human.circumstances will make him change...

gd postttStarStar


Kaajal, I'm married ... and while my mil was conservative in some ways, nowhere like this ... when my husband got late at office, she and my fil would force me to eat, and not wait for him ...

But other things, men don't realise till their wives actually tell them that this or that bothers me ... because they have seen it all their lives, it just doesn't strike them that this could be wrong ... it's just the way it's always been done ... Besides, being in love and actually living together after marriage are two very different things ... he has only seen the house and family through his mom's POV ... never his bhabhis' ... now he will start to see it through CC's POV ...

You're telling me ... ChhanMan scenes were WOW ... amazing comfort level between the two ... they could have been a long married couple ... the ease with which they performed ... sweet and loving at the same time ... Embarrassed

hope i was nt offensive na...its was jst my pov...Big smile

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DiyaS

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Posted: 24 June 2013 at 11:41am | IP Logged
Originally posted by crazyforsanaya

tfs
Have yet to see the epi, tonight.  TEN more hours to go!!!!!!
Don't understand why the girl ALWAYS has to change and do EVERYTHING!! I would have thought Manav would be a supporter of his wife. Not say something like "you'll learn!" To his NEW wife. She needs his support. She is in new surroundings. Is he clueless??
 
 


@bold ... in a word ... YES!!! All men are clueless ... been there, done that! They really don't understand till beaten over the head with a thick club ... figuratively speaking LOL Chhanchhan did that literally today LOL

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MeeraHKI-Heart-SanzshowviewerkbtrGuinea

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Posted: 24 June 2013 at 11:42am | IP Logged
Originally posted by DiyaS

Originally posted by spirit

 Loved reading the post Diya, as usual. its about outlook shaped largely by those traditions... And CC  will soon realize(its early days yet) that how she sees things, perceives them is drastically different from the way most people of BS household have been 'trained' to or habituated to respond to. It's more like, two people standing at the same point looking at the same thing but differently... So It's going to be a tough battle for CC this one, to win over them, first she has to understand where they are coming from... and they will have to see things the way she does too. But this will require understanding from both sides... Compassion that I see only in her eldest Bhabi, the others are tied by the endless loop of UB's idiosyncrasies - and so have fallen prey to UB's plans... It's hard in real life, but here UB is making it double hard. This is like a little world within a world headed by UB that runs in her dictates, while others have survived , CC won't be able to for too long...unless some rules change...but How will things converge? Is it really possible in reality? I don't know, but I'm sure it would be a tough ask for someone like CC brought uo by her free spirited parents and the liberal upbringing to adhere to everything and by that I mean some antiquated customs of her new home. 

How much do you lose yourself in the process? Or is that inevitable. It will be made easier if Manav stands with her and understands her but this early days...and UB is like mistress of relentless attacks.  


Very true, spirit ... it's actually less about traditions than it is about how Umaben uses them for her own convenience ... Chhanchhan has been brought up in a family which is liberal, but at the same time, rooted in their culture and traditions too ...
There is a difference in observing traditions meaningfully, and observing them rigidly, without understanding the true meaning and reason behind them. And that is really what liberal thinking is all about ...

But like you say ... how will these changes come about? It does happen in reality ... education plays a big role, and also exposure to new and outside influences ... that is how every generation is a little different from the older one. The trouble with Umaben is that she is trying to keep her family bound in a time warp and not let the outside world influence them at all ... that is why she has brought bahus from families as traditional as her own, so that her rules are not questioned.

Manav has his own learning curve to go through ... that was made clear today ... so the story of Chhanchhan's journey starts with its first tremulous steps ...

@bold,  absolutely. Until UB understands this, she will not accept CC.  But thats what it's all about let's see how and what it takes for them to get there. 

I'm not sure, but I did get a sense that may be they are trying to fix UB? I felt there was a subtle change can't quite place a finger on it yet, though. 

Not only UB but her husband and to some extent the sons, that do no question her authority or decisions are responsible for the state of things...

I suppose people like UB do exist. And most of them do not change, I bet.Ouch




Edited by spirit - 24 June 2013 at 11:43am

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pink.lotusI-Heart-Sanzshowviewer

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Posted: 24 June 2013 at 11:47am | IP Logged
Originally posted by ddFan2012

Hey Diya,

Awesome post! Nicely summed up...

The stern word has created quite a stir...LOL...bechara Manav...

Honestly being married so many years...been there..done that...completely in sync with Manav and his thought process...Wink

Well said about Chhanchhan, who finds it weird that they did not sit as a family and eat together...which is a common thing in a neutral one...there for a moment when she questions her bhabhis that "wouldnt they have liked that' there is a sense of "I wish so" and then the barking voice of UB...brings them back to reality!

Loved the episode ...a dash of everything today!


 


Love the way all the married ones today are shaking their head and going ... "SOOO typical" about Manav's reaction ... and all the unmarried ones are seething ROFL  

You bet ... been there done that ... totally !!!

I hope CC will tackle that eating together issue at some point ... the family needs major shaking up, they live in the Neanderthal era!

Kaajal ... no offence taken at all Big smile   I used to be very good wife and wait for my husband ... till I found I was starving when he got home and wanted to eat and not serve him! So I started eating earlier ... that way I was full and ready to get him whatever he wanted, or just sit with him and talk while he ate ... but my MIL encouraged me ... she always ate with my FIL too ... so no issues there.

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