Blast from the Past Thread #13, pg 119, epi 149 - Page 39

This content was originally posted by: indi52

episode 139

credit: uploader

"i laud agni, the chosen priest, god, minister of god, the hotar, lavishest of wealth..."

with these words starts the first hymn of the rig veda, addressed to fire, the god agni, one of the three main deities of the vedic people. we evolved over the years, but agni remained central to many aspirations and ideas of our lives. it is there in weddings, initiation ceremonies, prayers, and most remarkably in our death... ending us... so that we may begin again. 👏👏👏

the only thing even fire cannot consume... is the soul... na hanyate. 

what was that fire lit and blazing at the beginning of episode? was agni here as the destroyer? if so, as the destroyer of what? of delusion? in buddhist prayer, a praise of agni  starts with: son of brahma, lord of the world, king of fire gods empowered by takki, whose supreme wisdom burns all delusion...

or was agni here as messenger to the eternal? 

wow indi love it as this was the basic yet the most important element in this epi,couldn't be ignored...FIRE  a destroyer as well as an eternal...at the same time refers to Love and desire with determination

"we choose agni, the messenger, the herald, master of all wealth..."

~~~ hymn 12, rig veda ~~~

was fire here destroyer, creator, and signifier of incandescent emotions, smouldering passions, truth that burnt and left only ashes so that a phoenix may rise from it?

Yes new life emerges from ashes either phoenix or any other living thin or plants 

fire is too powerful a symbol in our culture, especially in that form, part of worship, homa, for it to be just an incidental thing here. creatives wanted to cue much with just those few shots. fire, i felt, was the heart of this episode. I just said it above ,this was the main element 

a young girl's sixth sense, aroused by hints that she couldn't look away from will prove to be horribly right. you are just about an adult, you have never had a relationship with a man. a series of incidents lead to an engagement with someone you and your family thought to be a sincere, true human being. you didn't love him, but you tried to live with this relationship because you cared so much for the father who gave you home and love when another fire had taken both your natural parents. then you discovered, this man whose ring you wore was not only not true, he was married. that too to a woman who had come to mean a lot to you, not least because she was the centre of the universe of a man who made you feel things you'd never felt before.👍🏼

But she is a one smart cookie as well as brave to face it too.

as the fire burnt higher and worship grew ardent she tried to peer at the face of anjali ji's elusive husband. but he had to leave to take a call. an uncanny ominous feeling had taken such root, that khushi actually wasn't paying attention to the rituals. la had to nudge her to awareness. wonderful directorial touch there. yes love it La was telling her to do what she used to tell La

khushi is in disarray. some part of her has already worked out the math... she was good in sums and hindi always. something knew what she was about to discover. the many times she hadn't managed to see anjali's husband's face, then all this talk of raanisahiba, the name that matched, shyam... and babuji's hurling of the ring. inside khushi a knowledge had come. it needed confirmation.

so she stood at the terrace door.

ironic... the same door where the ultimate delusion would cloud asr's mind, that is exactly where she stood thinking, remembering, as the fire prepared to end a terrible delusion today.👏👏👏 

I am going to add in it Indi...big difference ..Khushi is outside in the light as she knows the truth clearly "Shafaf "...

Arnav will be inside the door in the dark as he does not know the truth ,as he is clouded by the Truth"undhere mein'...same door yet different meanings and perceptions

she saw truth here. asr bought a lie standing at the same exact spot. light and dark, sweet and sour, good and bad, male and female, laughter and tears, water and fire, happiness and sorrow, the essential two of life. together they complete the picture. opposites that can't live without each other. that make up finally one. the ultimate truth.

Just explained above

beautiful set of flashbacks as she slowly, almost mesmerised walked up to the pretender. at the last minute a doubt: what if she is just imagining it all. great writing again. and then he turned.

and all was clear.

to break the myth, a physical act. khushi who wouldn't ever overstep any limit of decency or decorum, lifted her hand and gave shyam one resounding slap.😊👍🏼❤️

for this man had without laying a hand on her, but with the sweetest of words, the kindness of friendship, he had violated the her very being. and she an untouched innocent soul. rape doesn't always need a physical evidence of forceful entry.😭 

wow INDi has too many shades of evil...Excellent Edit

i can't even begin to imagine khushi's agony. i can be only one with asr in that concentrated burning anger against shyam he would show much later when the lie finally left him.

sanaya was spectacular in the whole episode, but in this scene, nothing short of a bafta award winning performance. her interpretation of a woman betrayed had not a cliched strand in it. and no overacting. no melodrama. khushi reminded me a lot of that day when asr had insulted her and taken away the platter of prayer things accusing her of pretending to be good, of not understanding the pain of losing parents. somehow as anjali asked her if she was ok, the most innocent and pure look came over her face, as though the real khushi, not the public face we all wear, but what's inside us emerged.

Couldn't say better but she didn't get any😡

today too it was so. she seemed to assimilate all that she was, her roots, her parents, her upbringing, all seemed to come together and express their anger at, their "dhikkar" their fiery rejection of this heinous man. no words were necessary. in fact, i felt, the dialogues here were not as powerful as they might have been, but sanaya took care of all that with the sheer force of performance. and the director gave us his oft used "one eye" shot, arshi says it is the eye of horus, perhaps this refers to the future in a way... khushi as protector of anjali and asr. the protector who would leave herself defenceless to fend for those she loved.

Yes She is HORUS just like Arnav..if you remember Indi ..when Khushi falls in Arnav's arms after their bandagement the shot shows the one eye Khushi first time as she entered the house in his arms as a protector and here is the answer

as khushi leaves after the tumultuous few minutes with the serpent that is still trying to save its skin, - oh resilient is this evil twiner, note with what malevolence hidden in tears he hints at keeping quiet for the sake of the future of new relations to be established, akash and payal - khushi has a cascade of other recollections. together the two sets of flashbacks, one as she walked up to him, the other as she fled away dazed, form two bookends, in between the revelation of a filthy truth. one leads up to the revelation, the other leads to the concealment of this truth. "jiji... akash ji ka rishta..." payal and akash's marriage... again she wrings her hands... classic khushi in turmoil or some extreme emotion. but that is not the only reason she keeps quiet.

Again she is protector of both families just like Arnav ,
in fact, my belief is in her keeping quiet, there was her empathy for a woman she liked and valued, but most crucially it was because she knew how much it would hurt a man. a man who loved his sister more than anything in the world.👏👏👏

right now, in this man too, traces of fire. a quiet flame has begun to burn in the heart of an ocean. and it changes him, opens him, in ways he doesn't know nor understand.  

again, it is one who feels him that notices the new. la.

"neeche sab tumhara wait kar rahe hain.. di, jeejaji... aur khushi..." a pause. everyone is waiting for you downstairs, she tells asr, so wanting him to join them all: di, jeeja ji, others... khushi? is she looking for something in his gaze? like khushi, has her sixth sense too told her things she'd rather not hear? 

"lavanya i am not going..." abruptly says he. anger first, the usual asr. but then he sees her face fall, sadness. no, he can't do this any more. he holds her arm, "lavanya?" sweet and tentative. is that asr?

"please try and understand... mera man nahin hai..." i don't feel like... he is actually trying to explain why he is doing what he is.

she's never seen him like this. her expression says it all.

"what... kya hua," he has to ask, what happened.

"asr, you're being nice to me... tumne mujhse kabhi aise behave nahin kiya..." lavanya points out he's never spoken to her like this. a silence... maybe she decides to misinterpret... no harm pretending, just for a bit, only because you love... nothing else. she rests her head on his shoulder ad says she understands. as she tries hard not to.
She is sensing a lot here and sooner will connect it
fire destroys, so that something new may start again. she is just free of a filthy lie and its perpetrator. not engaged anymore. he is beginning to realise some things cannot be denied... she does matter. just now she had been so disturbed, he couldn't bring himself to yell at her at her loopy behaviour. 

something kindled long before is beginning to seek new blaze. in him a change, in her an unerring way finding to him. especially when she is in need.

Whenever she is convulsive and emotionally disturbed he can't rest and goes uneasy unintentionally just like engagement night.When her state was disrray and he couldn't have peace...
and so we come to the poolside. he stands drinking his coffee and she just walks in unseeing in her state of mind, and dashes into him. and one of the most stunning sequences, layered and rich, delicate in beauty, glittering with emotion pure comes into play. barun and sanaya tell us of asr and khushi and a feeling hard to label, in a way only they can.

a pause here to say... yay, it's ipk again. people can lie, cheat, stone wall audiences with banks of telephone operators, show muscle, manipulate media, but in the end, the truth does have its way. the fire in which reputations were burnt was in the end a good fire. it showed us just how powerful some things are. you can't really consign talent and its validity to flames. love indeed never dies. here's to 8 july, all the best ipk. may this bring a new time of excitement to barun sanaya akshay deepali jayashri ji karan and every member of the cast, writers, directors, all.👏

back to the scene that slowly killed me.

"uh," she squeals as she bangs into him. great sound editing here. long shot, the slightest saddest whimper. 

the coffee mug breaks and shatters on the floor.

he turns with customary irritation, immediately reaching for gussa... "what the" through gritting teeth. "dekhkar nahin chal sakti this tum?" can't you see where you're going? 

she  crouches on the floor without a word to pick up the pieces of porcelain.

"khushi, main tumse kuch poochh raha hoon..." khushi, i'm telling you something. he's still yelling, rough and disgruntled.

she continues to pick up the pieces. hands have a tremble.

an easing in his voice... he's beginning to sense she's not ok.

"khushi?"

and as you hear the dip to gentle query in his voice, a  rush of some feeling, you know, arnav singh raizada just wants to be nice to this girl with her craziness, her weird plots and plans, who makes him smile, makes him feel, and why does she sit like that on the floor not looking up, not answering?

Khushi who cannot remain quiet for 5 minutes and here she is chup as her chup kills him and his chup kills her...His yelling and her yapping is their way of showing love to each other.

"khushi?" he sits before her... at her level. he wants to reach her. it's so important to him. why is she in this state?⭐️👏

"khushi" his questions are there in the changing tone of her name...

"kya hua tumhe?" ever ever ever so gently, what has happened to you?

his voice begins to say what his heart beat will record a bit later. you matter to me. you make a difference. you make the difference. faraq padta hai.

and as he probes lovingly, she's coming apart. what ,a horrible shock she's had... how life has played with her.

brilliantly directed understatement.

a hand on her back... he wants to hold her, be her support, tell her not to worry, he's there.

a moving forward to hold her and turn her toward him, "khushi" dropped to almost a whisper... urgent yet gentle. tell me tell me what's wrong he seems to say with all of himself... i am here... i care.

he helps her stand up with utmost tenderness. her face is downcast, only hell in her eyes.

"khushi tumhare ghar pe koi problem hai..." is there a problem at home. he gropes for an answer.

"kuch chahiye tumhe?" do you want something? where oh where does this tenderness, this love come from... why does it feel blessed even before a word is said. this was the love that had no name for maybe it was just  a feeling that needed not a name. a question asked with a certain voice, a hand held out at a point in life that's all it took for you to know this is all that you ever wanted to know and feel there was eternity indeed.

she whimpers a bit... no words

"khushi!!"

he slowly lets her go perhaps thinking it isn't his place... and she is not saying a thing... he begins to turn away.

and again the girl who'd gone running to him in a hospital one desperate hour, shortly after he'd abandoned her on a lonely road hospital, and yet his were the only arms she knew she could seek solace and strength in... that girl returned... and in her darkest moment turned to him for comfort. as if she had a right to ask for it.⭐️

in a classic indescribably intense moment with a single simple gesture she said it makes a difference... the difference to her too. that slap was nothing compared to this fling of the body and heart.

she simply let go with a sob and buried her head in his shoulder... her place of solace, yes... no one knows how or why... but it is that.

Where else she goes ,He is her family.

"your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as spring opens
(touching skilfully, mysteriously) her first rose"
~~~ e e cummings ~~~

she sobbed broken and abandoned. he's taken aback... worried... what's happened. why doesn't she say anything. he can't bear to see her like this. he must fix it for her. he must make it alright.

"khushi?? khushi, khushi, kya hua tumhe?" khushi, what's happened to you, asks again the gentle rakshas.

a tentative hand reaches for her shoulder.

"invisible threads are the strongest ties"
~~~ friedrich nietzsche ~~~

"khushi, shh shh shh," urgent his shushing, and trademark asr when he wants his khushi to calm down. like she's a child, a dear little child he wants to make the world ok for.

"khushi, it's ok..." thinks a little, what could it ? comes to the right cause...

brilliant piece of acting here again.

a glint of anger in his eyes at the thoughts that enter his mind.

"khushi, kya tumhare mangetar ne tumse kuchh..." khushi, has your fiance to you...

she looks up at the mention of mangetar... instinctively. and along with it there begins a return to reality and its demands. 

his expression moves through quiet cold anger... "kya kiya ussne..." what has he done...

flaring nostrils, rage rising.

"khushi, kya kiya tumhare mangetar ne? did he try to hurt you?"

rough hard voice, ready to take on the world, for her... almost shaking with rage at the thought of her fiance, a man, doing anything to her. i felt layers of reasons here. he couldn't even think of her fiance hurting her in any way without going mad. that something, if it's a sexual assault or a physical one enrages him at many levels. then there was the issue of a man ill treating a woman. ever since his father's misdemeanours led to horror in his life, this is a thing he can't take. there was extreme disrespect of his mother in the incidents of the past. asr would not tolerate such behaviour toward a woman... and this was khushi.

He was thinking from all angles and definitely wasn't easy for him

the girl who made him feel strange, was now before him in a state of disarray, unable to even articulate what she feels... just tears and a seeking of him.

"unhone humare saath,..." he... with me... how much khushi wanted to tell him what shyam did with her, how much she needed him then... to feel human, clean, somewhat  decent... trapped so deceitfully and abominably by a knave.
She wants to tell him all but how can she ,she never hurt him even he is Rakshus to her 
he waits to hear.

"batao, khushi..." say, khushi!

she's begun to stall though. for memories cascade again.

she remembers a day in the rain and a man talking to his sister of his love, how she was his world, nothing else mattered. "mujhe iss duniya se koi matlab nahin, meri asli duniya toh aap ho." this world means naught to me, you are my real world, he'd said to anjali. she sees him holding his arm out for his sister's rakhi, joy and indulgence on his face. she couldn't complete her sentence.

little khushi, grown up khushi, all came together and stood helpless before the only man she could have said it all to, the only man she felt would care, would make it better. yet she didn't.

for the man whose world she couldn't bring herself to wreck... she kept quiet... for jiji, for anjali ji... and for laad governor who made her feel things she'd never felt before.

she kept looking into his eyes... long, searching, feeling, wondering, gaze... knowing she can't do it... not to him. he kept on searching her eyes for the answers, not knowing what stopped her.

"but a mermaid has no tears, and therefore she suffers so much more."
~~~ hans christian anderson, the little mermaid ~~~

a fire has destroyed delusion... and a fire has lit a flame that burns forever.

This content was originally posted by: ..Anita..

Episode 142 

The episode starts off with arnav telling la that he does not mean to hurt her intentionally but when he does realize that he has hurt her he feels really bad. He calls her khushi and la puts her hand on his shoulder and said its lavanya.

Arnav looks shell shocked and turns around to explain himself but la runs off in tears. His hand gripping his phone he said what am I doing

he walks off to his thinking window and thinks of all the time he has been unfair to lavanya. And he realizes that he did not do anything right with lavanya, EVER. (What happened to ASR...he is turning into arnav, who is not as scary as ASR but equally hot).

Khushi enters the RM, looking for Anjali. She spots Anjali and he is putting on her mangalsutra (she should have put that on before the gold necklace, but I guess it is building up to something huge dealing with it). Khushi is tense on how she should tell her. Arnav come up and just stars at khushi's restlessness and walks off (that is odd but I guess he has more important things to handle). Anjali spots khushi and said that she was meaning to call her, and she said that she thinks that khushi forgot there will be two engagements jokingly.  She notices khushi's sad and tense face and wants to know what is up.  Khushi tells Anjali that she needs to talk to her. And anjalis is tense wondering what she is going to say and then her hand goes to fix her mangalsutra wondering why it loose.  She tries to fix it but the mangalsutra falls off and khushi catches it. 

 

Anjali because super upset and freaks out what has happened. She gets the necklace out of her hand and wonders if her husband is okay (oh he is more than okay, I wonder where he is. He should spend his last day in comfort and luxury if khushi tells the truth. khushi tries to calm her down but Anjali said that she cannot live without him...what aapshagun happened (if I was her I would be like oh I did not put my mangalsutra on good enough). khushi just looks at her worriedly and Anjali walks off worried and scared. Khushi just looks off in deep thought (I hopes she does not change her mind of not telling her). Anjali goes to the DM murti and asks her the safety of her husband and his long life (don't worry he knows how to protect himself really well). She looks at her mangulsutra and holding it tightly praying that her husband is safe. Khushi walks up to her and assures her that nothing happened and don't cry. Everything is fine and your husband and you marriage will be fine and nothing will happen.she promises her (her dialogues show so much surety like she is the cause of this..well technically she is but Anjali does not understand the surety of her words). Anjali said that she is nothing without him and if anything happened to him she could not finish her thought. She goes to call him. Khushi is left wondering if she is doing the right thing and look to DM for help (she better not change her mind).

Arnav shows to la's room like he wants to say something. La is sitting on her bed folding clothes in a solemn manner. She notices arnav and she said that she forgot to ask with suit he will wear on the engagement day. She is like classic black (I did not know there was more shades of black) or charcoal grey. Arnav was like lavanya. And she is like charcoal grey and your eyes...they look at each other awkwardly and she said that it will look good with his eyes. She turns around and starts going on about how much more things they need to do before the engagement (I was feeling so bad for her she knows what is coming but she keeps changing the subject). Arnav said that he needs to talk to her.  La knows what is coming so she said it is okay I know your taste and she said there is so much work and she has to go to the parlor. Arnav goes up to her and puts his hand on her should to stop her from going on because he know what she is trying to do avoid the inevitable and said lavanya I need to talk to you. She grips her dupatta and is tense because she know what he is going to say.  Arnav said lavanya and lavanya was like no. and he said her name again and she was like you don't have to (say anything) her fears are coming true. Arnav said listen to me please.

Khushi is debating with herself to tell anjali or not. She wants Anjali talk to the pandit saying that she will keep a vrat and is going to the mandir tomorrow. She said she is happy her hubby is okay and she should not take this situation lightly so she is holding a pooja tomorrow. She wants her husband to be safe like he has always been and she thanks god. Khushi just looks at her more confused wondering how to tell her. Anjali noticed her being tensed and asked her what is wrong. She apologized for being tense do to the mangalsutra breaking and asked her what she wanted to say. Khushi contemplates more and starts fidgeting trying to tell her. Anjali notices that her left hand has no ring and asked what happened to the ring. Khushi takes her hand out of her hand and khushi tells her that her engagement is broken. Anjali is shell shocked and does not know how to respond (i am getting really frustrated with khushi, she needs to tell her, i know she will freak out at first and not but the seed will be planted...it is better for her to find out her husband has bad intentions early on rather than when something bad happens).

Arnav is wants to tell la something. La understands and tells him not to say anything. Aranv touches her cheek and said they way you feel for me, I may never feel that way and maybe I never had and I cannot lie anymore, by lying I cannot insult you anymore, not for my sake but your sake. He said you and me (can never be together like that)...and la said I knew that you would say that too me, and I probably knew this before, and I had feared that this will be the end of our relationship. She turns around wipes her tears and said without any (love)...and he turns around understanding her incomplete sentence. La said perhaps I did not want to accept it, I kept lieing to myself, I lied to myself so much that it seemed true. I know asr that you don't like this but I want to hug you once (I will allow it this time, if I was her I would have asked for the same thing, maybe a kiss too). They both turn around and arnav goes forward to hug her (no words can describe this scene, I am in tears). They hug it out.

    credit goes to the maker

Anjali is like what your engagement broke, how???? Khushi has no clue how to tell her and still is thinking whether she can say it or not.

Arnav said he is sorry for all this. And la walks off in the other direction and said some question don't have answers right? It is funny ASR how we got engaged suddenly and how did I not realize that something is wrong but how did you realize that you don't love me like the way I love you?  To stop her from speaking any further, arnav put his hand on her shoulder and turns her around and asked if she is okay (I am pretty sure she is not, I know she said yes but that never means yes). Arnav said that they must inform the family about this and we have to do it together.  La is holding back her tears and shakes her head no slightly.

Anjali said she does not understand how did your rishta break and why you did you take this decision and why. She asked why happened. Khushi looks at her and looks away because he can't face her because the truth affects her. Anjali said I know I should not ask about your personal life, but I feel bad. If I feel like this, I can understand what you are going through (yeah anjali's first rishta broke too, I hope she understands). What will happen when nani finds out and she will feel bad too (where did nani come from this). Khushi said will you accept my one request (I wonder what it is). And Anjali  nods her head yes and lovingly holds her cheek and khushi is looking here and there trying to form the right words ( I wonder if she will tell her or not)

La tells arnav that they cannot tell anyone that we broke our engagement. Arnav goes to her and looks at her like why

Khushi tells Anjali not to tell anyone because Payash's engagement is huge for both families. And Anjali was like what about your dukh, do you know what you are asking me??? (okay fair point, but she needs to tell anji)

La tells arnav she knows what she is saying. Arnav is confused. She explains that everyone is happy and it is not the right time. She mentions how mami agreed to PayAsh's engagement with much difficulty, so we cannot say anything because she might break it. she does not want to see nani and anjali upset as well. Arnav is in awe with and he is shock that she thinks so much for her family and said that she respects her and she hugs him (I would have done the same this). She said you respect me but not love me. She realizes what she said she releases herself from the hug and wipes her tears and said sorry I don't want you to feel guilty about this ever and I mean it. Arnav is just in awe with her (he never thought the once ditzy la can turn into someone speaking so much sense and with maturity too). They decided not to tell anyone. Arnav is like what to do because he knows it is not right. Will they end up telling the family that the engagment broke???? will khushi tell anjali about shyam???? (last one was wishful thinking)

Okay the ArLa scene was super emotional (never thought i would say that)...they grew up so much. Arnav is actually talking about his feeling, who was once before hiding everything behind his anger so no one would know... and la is handling this with such maturity, who before was very selfish and materialistic. Khushi brought the good side out from them. I loved how they understood their unsaid words. they knew this would have happened eventually but they finally realized why is happening is wrong and decided to ended before lives are ruined (i had no clue where to put this in my analysis so i put it at the end)

my reaction to arnav and lavanya's scene today

Episode-142

Parallel scene, two soul mates who are destined to be together, one is in the edge to break a coerced relationship, other  one is declaring her already broken alliance. One is in contrition to break his to be fiance's heart. Where his soul mate is convulsing to reveal the secret of the reason, why it called off.  the episode was intense and somehow melancholic,  but at the same time it heralded the alliance of another couple who are made for each other. Destiny has to unite this soul mates now. 

"What am I doing?" He asks himself. He recollects how he ignored Lavanya's feelings. When she asked him, "don't you love me". He refuted in anger, no, he doesn't love her. His contrition is very visible in his countenance, "I didn't do right to Lavanya." He mutters himself, clutches his fist in compunction, he can't do knavery with her.

Arnav sees Khushi came to RM, still looks forlorn. He stands for a while to look at her. He thought something. What did he think? May be  he got more determined  to tell Lavanya the truth.

Anjali is looking delectable, she  comes to talk to Khushi. Khushi's tension pulsates more  to see her, she grabs the strap of her bag to get some courage.

"I tried to call you for so long. Did you forget there will be two engagement take place in this house?"

She notices Khsuhi's woebegone state. .Anjali asks her, is everything alright, why she is looking so pale? Khushi says that she wants to say her something. But can't speak further,  cause Anjali's mangalsutra (nuptial chain) tears while she was fixing it. But Khushi doesn't let it fall, she just catches it before it hits the ground. It  sure indicates that Anjlai's marriage is now on Khushi's hand. If she reveals Shyam's truth, her marriage can break, like the mangalsutra.

Anjali gets frightened  in premonition. She thinks it's a omen  and gets scared if her husband is fine or not. She can't live without him. (Your husband is absolutely fine Anjali, but your marriage is  at stake for sure.) She runs in front of the DM idle to pray for his life and safety.

Khushi comes to console her. How can she tell her the truth now, where she is seeing how much she loves her husband!  Anjali is crying clutching her mangalsutra close to her heart. Khushi assures her that nothing happened, everything is fine, her husband and her marriage as well. She tells her not to cry. she thinks no wrong has happened and she promises she will not let any wrong to happen. I'm surprised how cum Anjali didn't see her words strange or fishy. Did she ever thought why Khushi is promising to protect her marriage?  Dumb lady, sometimes avert your thought from your blind love and think practically.

"hum inke bina kuch nahi hai Khushi ji, agar inka kuch hogaya to (I'm nothing without him. If anything happens to him, let me go and call)"

Her voice is quivering in fear. Anjali's words put Khushi in quandary again.

Arnav comes to La's room. He can't linger this issue any more. To see him La gets scared in anticipation. She sure suspected something wrong. She starts to blabber unnecessarily. So many work has to get done in such a short time! She gets two tone of fabric for his suit, what color will suit to him, classic black or charcoal grey! Your eyes she stopped. She knows how beautiful  those caramel orbs are!. She thinks charcoal grey will look good with it. She doesn't let Arnav talk, just keep talking, needs to go to parlor, she goes on, avoiding eye contact with him.

Arnav keeps his hand on her shoulder, "Lavanya, I need to talk to you."

She gets scared again. She is not ready to hear the brutal truth. She clutches the dress (I think it's her engagement outfit, she just doesn't want to let it go) She  denies to listen, 'no you don't have to ASR."

Plz Lavanya, ASR pleas in acquissence..

Khushi sees Anjali is talking to the pandit about some braat and pooja. She thanks God that her husband is safe. She tells her that she wants to perform a special pooja for her husband's safety.

Pause: Oh Gosh how superstitious Anjali is!Or how much she loves that atrocious man. Kash he could value her love. That wicked man doesn't deserve her immense love though.

Finally Anjali notices Khushi's tension, She asks her what's wrong, she apologizes to get distracted because of the mangalsutra. She reminds her that she wanted to talk to her about something. Khushi fidgets, touches her dupatta, tries to gather some courage. Anjali notices that her ring is missing. After hesitating a bit, Khushi tells her that her engagement broke.

Anjali gets flabbergasted to hear it. She asks her how did it happen? how the alliance broke and how did she make such big decision?

"How did it happen?"

She knows she is intruding her personal matter, but she needs to know. Wher she is feeling so bad,  Khushi must be feeling worse. She tells her that nani will also feel bad for her. She knows how much nani loves her. Hearing nani, something strikes in Khushi's mind.

Arnav wants to talk to Lavanya. La doesn't want to hear anything. She is too amorous to Arnav.

 "plz ASR don't say anything."

Tears well up in her eyes.

Arnav touches her cheek,

"Lavanya what you feel for me, I don't feel same like you. May be never did. And now."

His voice quivers.

"now can't lie to you any more. in fact, can't insult you more by telling you more lies, not for me, but for you. I mean, hum dono (both of us) Lavanya you and me, this."

He can't finish, La grabs his hand

"I know ASR.I thought you would say this to me. I perhaps felt it before, somehow it was my fear that our relationship would end like this. You know, without any."

They turn back from each other,

"I knew, perhaps didn't  want to accept it. Kept telling lie to myself, All the time. That much of lies, that those lies seemed real to me. I know you wouldn't like it. But for the last time, for once can you hug me?"
She is crying incessantly. Arnav's memory, whatever she got from him is indelible for her. I felt a pang of pain for her that she feels  he doesn't even like to hug her.

Contrition is visible in his expression. They turn to face each other gradually. For the first time Arnav took Lavanya in a warm embrace. His compunction is killing him to hurt her like this.

Pause:  Sana disappointed me in this scene. She couldn't emote the intensity.

Asr begs her an ardent apology.

"khuch sawalo ki jwab nahi hote. It's funny, na ASR, Jaise hum logo achanak engagement ki, mujhe kaise  pata chala ki kuch theek nahi.Tumhe kaise realize hua, ki tum mujhe itna pyaar nehi karta, jo mein tumhe karta hoon.

Translation" there is no answer of some questions. It's funny, how we suddenly got engaged, how did I find out that something is wrong. How did you realize that you don't love me the way I do."

Arnav keeps his hand on her shoulder to stop her. He can't hear any more. He agitates to see her incessant cry.

"are you OK?' he asks her in a soft tender tone, modulate his voice more husky. He is really concern for her. He thinks they should tell it to the family and tell it together.

La's expression confused me. Any way she doesn't want Arnav to tell everybody about their break up.

Again Sana couldn't emote properly.

"sabko dukh pauchake hume kiya milega. What I'll get by hurting all. Plz anjali ji by mistake, don't say to anybody about my broken alliance. Moreover jij and Akash's engagement is a very big day for both of the family."

A very sensible decision of a very mature girl.

"what about your pain? You know what are you asking  me to do".

Anjali is ambiguous.

In the parallel scene, La is also saying the same thing to Arnav. she thinks it's not the right time to reveal this. Everybody is so happy. Mamiji agreed for Akash and Payal's marraige after so much difficulties. If sh ecomes to know about their break up, it may affect Akash and Payal's engagement. She doesn't want that,  because of her, nani and di get upset.

Arnav smiles in satiation to see her sensibility.

"I can't believe this that you are so concern for  my family."

Arnav cares her cheek again,'I respect you for this."

La can't control her emotions, she again hugs him.

"you respect me, but love!"
She breaks the hug, wipes her tears and says sorry.

(Jhappiya-shappiya lele Sana, that's your farewell treat. That time Sana was leaving the show to participate Ms. India pageant.)

La doesn't want Arnav to feel guilty about this matter. "I mean it"

She wipes her tears,

So it's decided that  we will not gonna say it to anybody."

Arnav convulses to hear her.

La didn't retaliate. She even didn't want to put the blame on ASR. She acted like a connoisseur here. I salute La for not being vindictive or nasty. She just accepted the fact. She knows Arnav is not to blame. From the very beginning  he was very clear about their relationship. He never made any commitment to her. To avert his feelings from Khushi, Arnav took the abrupt  decision to marry her. Lavanya is a grown up, matured woman. It was literally impossible to ignore Aranv's reluctance to her. So she finally admitted that she ignored the fact and kept telling lie to herself. But Arnav came to break up the relationship first. In this case I have to say that Arnav's love won. The enormity of  his love for Khushi compelled him to break La's heart. He thought it rightfully, that he is not only deceiving himself but deceiving La too. Some may think that Arnav deceiveded La. But if he would marry her, he  would deceive her and him as well.

Arnav just accepted his feelings for Khushi by rejecting Lavanya.

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=4gOvPMLyE2g[/YOUTUBE]

credit goes to the uploader

This content was originally posted by: ArshiHamesha

😊

Indi ⭐️⭐️⭐️ 

Such a beautiful,enriched review we have here.No question FIRE within you brought FIRE to the forum...Just love it ❤️ My comments are every where.I am speechless.👏👏👏

The Last line is the Key of your analysis

This content was originally posted by: sohara

Episode-142

 

Parallel scene, two soul mates who are destined to be together, one is in the edge to break a coerced relationship, other  one is declaring her already broken alliance. One is in contrition to break his to be fiance's heart. Where his soul mate is convulsing to reveal the secret of the reason, why it called off.  the episode was intense and somehow melancholic,  but at the same time it heralded the alliance of another couple who are made for each other. Destiny has to unite this soul mates now. 

great opening, sohara, this sense of design in the early episodes of ipk, how they enriched everything.

"What am I doing?" He asks himself. He recollects how he ignored Lavanya's feelings. When she asked him, "don't you love me". He refuted in anger, no, he doesn't love her. His contrition is very visible in his countenance, "I didn't do right to Lavanya." He mutters himself, clutches his fist in compunction, he can't do knavery with her.

knavery... nice word... no he isn't a knave, that's shyam's forte. he can't do this, you're right.

Arnav sees Khushi came to RM, still looks forlorn. He stands for a while to look at her. He thought something. What did he think? May be  he got more determined  to tell Lavanya the truth.

 

Anjali is looking delectable, she  comes to talk to Khushi. Khushi's tension pulsates more  to see her, she grabs the strap of her bag to get some courage.

"I tried to call you for so long. Did you forget there will be two engagement take place in this house?"

She notices Khsuhi's woebegone state. .Anjali asks her, is everything alright, why she is looking so pale? Khushi says that she wants to say her something. But can't speak further,  cause Anjali's mangalsutra (nuptial chain) tears while she was fixing it. But Khushi doesn't let it fall, she just catches it before it hits the ground. It  sure indicates that Anjlai's marriage is now on Khushi's hand. If she reveals Shyam's truth, her marriage can break, like the mangalsutra.

 

Anjali gets frightened  in premonition. She thinks it's a omen  and gets scared if her husband is fine or not. She can't live without him. (Your husband is absolutely fine Anjali, but your marriage is  at stake for sure.) She runs in front of the DM idle to pray for his life and safety.

 

Khushi comes to console her. How can she tell her the truth now, where she is seeing how much she loves her husband!  Anjali is crying clutching her mangalsutra close to her heart. Khushi assures her that nothing happened, everything is fine, her husband and her marriage as well. She tells her not to cry. she thinks no wrong has happened and she promises she will not let any wrong to happen. I'm surprised how cum Anjali didn't see her words strange or fishy. Did she ever thought why Khushi is promising to protect her marriage?  Dumb lady, sometimes avert your thought from your blind love and think practically.

"hum inke bina kuch nahi hai Khushi ji, agar inka kuch hogaya to (I'm nothing without him. If anything happens to him, let me go and call)"

Her voice is quivering in fear. Anjali's words put Khushi in quandary again.

 

Arnav comes to La's room. He can't linger this issue any more. To see him La gets scared in anticipation. She sure suspected something wrong. She starts to blabber unnecessarily. So many work has to get done in such a short time! She gets two tone of fabric for his suit, what color will suit to him, classic black or charcoal grey! Your eyes she stopped. She knows how beautiful  those caramel orbs are!. She thinks charcoal grey will look good with it. She doesn't let Arnav talk, just keep talking, needs to go to parlor, she goes on, avoiding eye contact with him.

what a scene this was. completely real, that edge of hysteria, the underlying turmoil and the air of inevitability. 

Arnav keeps his hand on her shoulder, "Lavanya, I need to talk to you."

She gets scared again. She is not ready to hear the brutal truth. She clutches the dress (I think it's her engagement outfit, she just doesn't want to let it go) She  denies to listen, 'no you don't have to ASR."

Plz Lavanya, ASR pleas in acquissence..

 

Khushi sees Anjali is talking to the pandit about some braat and pooja. She thanks God that her husband is safe. She tells her that she wants to perform a special pooja for her husband's safety.

Pause: Oh Gosh how superstitious Anjali is!Or how much she loves that atrocious man. Kash he could value her love. That wicked man doesn't deserve her immense love though.

 

Finally Anjali notices Khushi's tension, She asks her what's wrong, she apologizes to get distracted because of the mangalsutra. She reminds her that she wanted to talk to her about something. Khushi fidgets, touches her dupatta, tries to gather some courage. Anjali notices that her ring is missing. After hesitating a bit, Khushi tells her that her engagement broke.

Anjali gets flabbergasted to hear it. She asks her how did it happen? how the alliance broke and how did she make such big decision?

"How did it happen?"

She knows she is intruding her personal matter, but she needs to know. Wher she is feeling so bad,  Khushi must be feeling worse. She tells her that nani will also feel bad for her. She knows how much nani loves her. Hearing nani, something strikes in Khushi's mind.

 

Arnav wants to talk to Lavanya. La doesn't want to hear anything. She is too amorous to Arnav.

 "plz ASR don't say anything."

Tears well up in her eyes.

Arnav touches her cheek,

"Lavanya what you feel for me, I don't feel same like you. May be never did. And now."

His voice quivers.

"now can't lie to you any more. in fact, can't insult you more by telling you more lies, not for me, but for you. I mean, hum dono (both of us) Lavanya you and me, this."

He can't finish, La grabs his hand

"I know ASR.I thought you would say this to me. I perhaps felt it before, somehow it was my fear that our relationship would end like this. You know, without any."

They turn back from each other,

"I knew, perhaps didn't  want to accept it. Kept telling lie to myself, All the time. That much of lies, that those lies seemed real to me. I know you wouldn't like it. But for the last time, for once can you hug me?"
She is crying incessantly. Arnav's memory, whatever she got from him is indelible for her. I felt a pang of pain for her that she feels  he doesn't even like to hug her.

Contrition is visible in his expression. They turn to face each other gradually. For the first time Arnav took Lavanya in a warm embrace. His compunction is killing him to hurt her like this.

Pause:  Sana disappointed me in this scene. She couldn't emote the intensity.

 

Asr begs her an ardent apology.

 

"khuch sawalo ki jwab nahi hote. It's funny, na ASR, Jaise hum logo achanak engagement ki, mujhe kaise  pata chala ki kuch theek nahi.Tumhe kaise realize hua, ki tum mujhe itna pyaar nehi karta, jo mein tumhe karta hoon.

Translation" there is no answer of some questions. It's funny, how we suddenly got engaged, how did I find out that something is wrong. How did you realize that you don't love me the way I do."

Arnav keeps his hand on her shoulder to stop her. He can't hear any more. He agitates to see her incessant cry.

"are you OK?' he asks her in a soft tender tone, modulate his voice more husky. He is really concern for her. He thinks they should tell it to the family and tell it together.

La's expression confused me. Any way she doesn't want Arnav to tell everybody about their break up.

Again Sana couldn't emote properly.

 

"sabko dukh pauchake hume kiya milega. What I'll get by hurting all. Plz anjali ji by mistake, don't say to anybody about my broken alliance. Moreover jij and Akash's engagement is a very big day for both of the family."

A very sensible decision of a very mature girl.

"what about your pain? You know what are you asking  me to do".

Anjali is ambiguous.

 

In the parallel scene, La is also saying the same thing to Arnav. she thinks it's not the right time to reveal this. Everybody is so happy. Mamiji agreed for Akash and Payal's marraige after so much difficulties. If sh ecomes to know about their break up, it may affect Akash and Payal's engagement. She doesn't want that,  because of her, nani and di get upset.

Arnav smiles in satiation to see her sensibility.

"I can't believe this that you are so concern for  my family."

Arnav cares her cheek again,'I respect you for this."

La can't control her emotions, she again hugs him.

"you respect me, but love!"
She breaks the hug, wipes her tears and says sorry.

(Jhappiya-shappiya lele Sana, that's your farewell treat. That time Sana was leaving the show to participate Ms. India pageant.)

La doesn't want Arnav to feel guilty about this matter. "I mean it"

She wipes her tears,

So it's decided that  we will not gonna say it to anybody."

Arnav convulses to hear her.

 

La didn't retaliate. She even didn't want to put the blame on ASR. She acted like a connoisseur here. I salute La for not being vindictive or nasty. She just accepted the fact. She knows Arnav is not to blame. From the very beginning  he was very clear about their relationship. He never made any commitment to her. To avert his feelings from Khushi, Arnav took the abrupt  decision to marry her. Lavanya is a grown up, matured woman. It was literally impossible to ignore Aranv's reluctance to her. So she finally admitted that she ignored the fact and kept telling lie to herself. But Arnav came to break up the relationship first. In this case I have to say that Arnav's love won. The enormity of  his love for Khushi compelled him to break La's heart. He thought it rightfully, that he is not only deceiving himself but deceiving La too. Some may think that Arnav deceiveded La. But if he would marry her, he  would deceive her and him as well.

beautiful elucidation, sohara. yes, la was mature and real... and yes yes yes, asr's love won...he had not yet realised what exactly khushi meant, but the force of the feeling acted upon him... he couldn't remain tied to another feeling as he did. it was not just a simple case of oh i don't love her, i must break up... khushi was always in that decision.

Arnav just accepted his feelings for Khushi by rejecting Lavanya.

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=4gOvPMLyE2g[/YOUTUBE]

credit goes to the uploader

 

 

This content was originally posted by: indi52

episode 139

credit: uploader

"i laud agni, the chosen priest, god, minister of god, the hotar, lavishest of wealth..."

with these words starts the first hymn of the rig veda, addressed to fire, the god agni, one of the three main deities of the vedic people. we evolved over the years, but agni remained central to many aspirations and ideas of our lives. it is there in weddings, initiation ceremonies, prayers, and most remarkably in our death... ending us... so that we may begin again. 

the only thing even fire cannot consume... is the soul... na hanyate. 

what was that fire lit and blazing at the beginning of episode? was agni here as the destroyer? if so, as the destroyer of what? of delusion? in buddhist prayer, a praise of agni  starts with: son of brahma, lord of the world, king of fire gods empowered by takki, whose supreme wisdom burns all delusion...

or was agni here as messenger to the eternal? 

"we choose agni, the messenger, the herald, master of all wealth..."

~~~ hymn 12, rig veda ~~~

was fire here destroyer, creator, and signifier of incandescent emotions, smouldering passions, truth that burnt and left only ashes so that a phoenix may rise from it?

fire is too powerful a symbol in our culture, especially in that form, part of worship, homa, for it to be just an incidental thing here. creatives wanted to cue much with just those few shots. fire, i felt, was the heart of this episode. 

a young girl's sixth sense, aroused by hints that she couldn't look away from will prove to be horribly right. you are just about an adult, you have never had a relationship with a man. a series of incidents lead to an engagement with someone you and your family thought to be a sincere, true human being. you didn't love him, but you tried to live with this relationship because you cared so much for the father who gave you home and love when another fire had taken both your natural parents. then you discovered, this man whose ring you wore was not only not true, he was married. that too to a woman who had come to mean a lot to you, not least because she was the centre of the universe of a man who made you feel things you'd never felt before.

as the fire burnt higher and worship grew ardent she tried to peer at the face of anjali ji's elusive husband. but he had to leave to take a call. an uncanny ominous feeling had taken such root, that khushi actually wasn't paying attention to the rituals. la had to nudge her to awareness. wonderful directorial touch there.

khushi is in disarray. some part of her has already worked out the math... she was good in sums and hindi always. something knew what she was about to discover. the many times she hadn't managed to see anjali's husband's face, then all this talk of raanisahiba, the name that matched, shyam... and babuji's hurling of the ring. inside khushi a knowledge had come. it needed confirmation.

so she stood at the terrace door.

ironic... the same door where the ultimate delusion would cloud asr's mind, that is exactly where she stood thinking, remembering, as the fire prepared to end a terrible delusion today.

she saw truth here. asr bought a lie standing at the same exact spot. light and dark, sweet and sour, good and bad, male and female, laughter and tears, water and fire, happiness and sorrow, the essential two of life. together they complete the picture. opposites that can't live without each other. that make up finally one. the ultimate truth.

beautiful set of flashbacks as she slowly, almost mesmerised walked up to the pretender. at the last minute a doubt: what if she is just imagining it all. great writing again. and then he turned.

and all was clear.

to break the myth, a physical act. khushi who wouldn't ever overstep any limit of decency or decorum, lifted her hand and gave shyam one resounding slap.

for this man had without laying a hand on her, but with the sweetest of words, the kindness of friendship, he had violated her very being. and she an untouched innocent soul. rape doesn't always need a physical evidence of forceful entry.

i can't even begin to imagine khushi's agony. i can be only one with asr in that concentrated burning anger against shyam he would show much later when the lie finally left him.

sanaya was spectacular in the whole episode, but in this scene, nothing short of a bafta award winning performance. her interpretation of a woman betrayed had not a cliched strand in it. and no overacting. no melodrama. khushi reminded me a lot of that day when asr had insulted her and taken away the platter of prayer things accusing her of pretending to be good, of not understanding the pain of losing parents. somehow as anjali asked her if she was ok, the most innocent and pure look came over her face, as though the real khushi, not the public face we all wear, but what's inside us emerged.

today too it was so. she seemed to assimilate all that she was, her roots, her parents, her upbringing, all seemed to come together and express their anger at, their "dhikkar" their fiery rejection of this heinous man. no words were necessary. in fact, i felt, the dialogues here were not as powerful as they might have been, but sanaya took care of all that with the sheer force of performance. and the director gave us his oft used "one eye" shot, arshi says it is the eye of horus, perhaps this refers to the future in a way... khushi as protector of anjali and asr. the protector who would leave herself defenceless to fend for those she loved.

as khushi leaves after the tumultuous few minutes with the serpent that is still trying to save its skin, - oh resilient is this evil twiner, note with what malevolence hidden in tears he hints at keeping quiet for the sake of the future of new relations to be established, akash and payal - khushi has a cascade of other recollections. together the two sets of flashbacks, one as she walked up to him, the other as she fled away dazed, form two bookends, in between the revelation of a filthy truth. one leads up to the revelation, the other leads to the concealment of this truth. "jiji... akash ji ka rishta..." payal and akash's marriage... again she wrings her hands... classic khushi in turmoil or some extreme emotion. but that is not the only reason she keeps quiet.

in fact, my belief is in her keeping quiet, there was her empathy for a woman she liked and valued, but most crucially it was because she knew how much it would hurt a man. a man who loved his sister more than anything in the world.

right now, in this man too, traces of fire. a quiet flame has begun to burn in the heart of an ocean. and it changes him, opens him, in ways he doesn't know nor understand.  

again, it is one who feels him that notices the new. la.

"neeche sab tumhara wait kar rahe hain.. di, jeejaji... aur khushi..." a pause. everyone is waiting for you downstairs, she tells asr, so wanting him to join them all: di, jeeja ji, others... khushi? is she looking for something in his gaze? like khushi, has her sixth sense too told her things she'd rather not hear? 

"lavanya i am not going..." abruptly says he. anger first, the usual asr. but then he sees her face fall, sadness. no, he can't do this any more. he holds her arm, "lavanya?" sweet and tentative. is that asr?

"please try and understand... mera man nahin hai..." i don't feel like... he is actually trying to explain why he is doing what he is.

she's never seen him like this. her expression says it all.

"what... kya hua," he has to ask, what happened.

"asr, you're being nice to me... tumne mujhse kabhi aise behave nahin kiya..." lavanya points out he's never spoken to her like this. a silence... maybe she decides to misinterpret... no harm pretending, just for a bit, only because you love... nothing else. she rests her head on his shoulder ad says she understands. as she tries hard not to.

fire destroys, so that something new may start again. she is just free of a filthy lie and its perpetrator. not engaged anymore. he is beginning to realise some things cannot be denied... she does matter. just now she had been so disturbed, he couldn't bring himself to yell at her at her loopy behaviour. 

something kindled long before is beginning to seek new blaze. in him a change, in her an unerring way finding to him. especially when she is in need.

and so we come to the poolside. he stands drinking his coffee and she just walks in unseeing in her state of mind, and dashes into him. and one of the most stunning sequences, layered and rich, delicate in beauty, glittering with emotion pure comes into play. barun and sanaya tell us of asr and khushi and a feeling hard to label, in a way only they can.

a pause here to say... yay, it's ipk again. people can lie, cheat, stone wall audiences with banks of telephone operators, show muscle, manipulate media, but in the end, the truth does have its way. the fire in which reputations were burnt was in the end a good fire. it showed us just how powerful some things are. you can't really consign talent and its validity to flames. love indeed never dies. here's to 8 july, all the best ipk. may this bring a new time of excitement to barun sanaya akshay deepali jayashri ji karan and every member of the cast, writers, directors, all.

back to the scene that slowly killed me.

"uh," she squeals as she bangs into him. great sound editing here. long shot, the slightest saddest whimper. 

the coffee mug breaks and shatters on the floor.

he turns with customary irritation, immediately reaching for gussa... "what the" through gritting teeth. "dekhkar nahin chal sakti this tum?" can't you see where you're going? 

she  crouches on the floor without a word to pick up the pieces of porcelain.

"khushi, main tumse kuch poochh raha hoon..." khushi, i'm telling you something. he's still yelling, rough and disgruntled.

she continues to pick up the pieces. hands have a tremble.

an easing in his voice... he's beginning to sense she's not ok.

"khushi?"

and as you hear the dip to gentle query in his voice, a  rush of some feeling, you know, arnav singh raizada just wants to be nice to this girl with her craziness, her weird plots and plans, who makes him smile, makes him feel, and why does she sit like that on the floor not looking up, not answering?

"khushi?" he sits before her... at her level. he wants to reach her. it's so important to him. why is she in this state?

"khushi" his questions are there in the changing tone of her name...

"kya hua tumhe?" ever ever ever so gently, what has happened to you?

his voice begins to say what his heart beat will record a bit later. you matter to me. you make a difference. you make the difference. faraq padta hai.

and as he probes lovingly, she's coming apart. what ,a horrible shock she's had... how life has played with her.

brilliantly directed understatement.

a hand on her back... he wants to hold her, be her support, tell her not to worry, he's there.

a moving forward to hold her and turn her toward him, "khushi" dropped to almost a whisper... urgent yet gentle. tell me tell me what's wrong he seems to say with all of himself... i am here... i care.

he helps her stand up with utmost tenderness. her face is downcast, only hell in her eyes.

"khushi tumhare ghar pe koi problem hai..." is there a problem at home. he gropes for an answer.

"kuch chahiye tumhe?" do you want something? where oh where does this tenderness, this love come from... why does it feel blessed even before a word is said. this was the love that had no name for maybe it was just  a feeling that needed not a name. a question asked with a certain voice, a hand held out at a point in life that's all it took for you to know this is all that you ever wanted to know and feel there was eternity indeed.

she whimpers a bit... no words

"khushi!!"

he slowly lets her go perhaps thinking it isn't his place... and she is not saying a thing... he begins to turn away.

and again the girl who'd gone running to him in a hospital one desperate hour, shortly after he'd abandoned her on a lonely road hospital, and yet his were the only arms she knew she could seek solace and strength in... that girl returned... and in her darkest moment turned to him for comfort. as if she had a right to ask for it.

in a classic indescribably intense moment with a single simple gesture she said it makes a difference... the difference to her too. that slap was nothing compared to this fling of the body and heart.

she simply let go with a sob and buried her head in his shoulder... her place of solace, yes... no one knows how or why... but it is that.

"your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as spring opens
(touching skilfully, mysteriously) her first rose"
~~~ e e cummings ~~~

she sobbed broken and abandoned. he's taken aback... worried... what's happened. why doesn't she say anything. he can't bear to see her like this. he must fix it for her. he must make it alright.

"khushi?? khushi, khushi, kya hua tumhe?" khushi, what's happened to you, asks again the gentle rakshas.

a tentative hand reaches for her shoulder.

"invisible threads are the strongest ties"
~~~ friedrich nietzsche ~~~

"khushi, shh shh shh," urgent his shushing, and trademark asr when he wants his khushi to calm down. like she's a child, a dear little child he wants to make the world ok for.

"khushi, it's ok..." thinks a little, what could it ? comes to the right cause...

brilliant piece of acting here again.

a glint of anger in his eyes at the thoughts that enter his mind.

"khushi, kya tumhare mangetar ne tumse kuchh..." khushi, has your fiance to you...

she looks up at the mention of mangetar... instinctively. and along with it there begins a return to reality and its demands. 

his expression moves through quiet cold anger... "kya kiya ussne..." what has he done...

flaring nostrils, rage rising.

"khushi, kya kiya tumhare mangetar ne? did he try to hurt you?"

rough hard voice, ready to take on the world, for her... almost shaking with rage at the thought of her fiance, a man, doing anything to her. i felt layers of reasons here. he couldn't even think of her fiance hurting her in any way without going mad. that something, if it's a sexual assault or a physical one enrages him at many levels. then there was the issue of a man ill treating a woman. ever since his father's misdemeanours led to horror in his life, this is a thing he can't take. there was extreme disrespect of his mother in the incidents of the past. asr would not tolerate such behaviour toward a woman... and this was khushi.

the girl who made him feel strange, was now before him in a state of disarray, unable to even articulate what she feels... just tears and a seeking of him.

"unhone humare saath,..." he... with me... how much khushi wanted to tell him what shyam did with her, how much she needed him then... to feel human, clean, somewhat  decent... trapped so deceitfully and abominably by a knave.

he waits to hear.

"batao, khushi..." say, khushi!

she's begun to stall though. for memories cascade again.

she remembers a day in the rain and a man talking to his sister of his love, how she was his world, nothing else mattered. "mujhe iss duniya se koi matlab nahin, meri asli duniya toh aap ho." this world means naught to me, you are my real world, he'd said to anjali. she sees him holding his arm out for his sister's rakhi, joy and indulgence on his face. she couldn't complete her sentence.

little khushi, grown up khushi, all came together and stood helpless before the only man she could have said it all to, the only man she felt would care, would make it better. yet she didn't.

for the man whose world she couldn't bring herself to wreck... she kept quiet... for jiji, for anjali ji... and for laad governor who made her feel things she'd never felt before.

she kept looking into his eyes... long, searching, feeling, wondering, gaze... knowing she can't do it... not to him. he kept on searching her eyes for the answers, not knowing what stopped her.

"but a mermaid has no tears, and therefore she suffers so much more."
~~~ hans christian anderson, the little mermaid ~~~

a fire has destroyed delusion... and a fire has lit a flame that burns forever.