Posted: 23 June 2013 at 11:52am | IP Logged
I am not married and am basing my answers on that. I will treat her the way she treats me. And take a lesson from her book. Sugar coat it all the way. And ensure the Father-In-Law is on my side. Not that here it matters. FIL is quite redundant here.
However, I also know that there is a lot that goes on after marriage when one "goes" to her husband's house.
For instance, my sister - I would NEVER have thought she would change so much after her marriage. There was NOBODY who could tell her what to do. All her life, she did exactly what she wanted. Even if our parents didn't like it. However, after her marriage, there were a lot of changes. When I asked her, why she is changing, she said it's about doing things for the people you love without making them feel unimportant. Our parents know that her love is always there for them. But the in-laws, they don't know that. Thankfully, her in laws don't even live in the same country! So, yeah, a lot of things that go on. Plus you don't want your husband to be pulled in two directions. And if your MIL is too immature to see that, guess, you would have to make amends for that. That is why it is better to communicate BEFORE marriage about expectations and allowances.