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FF:Intehaa Pyaar Ki-Th 2: Ch 7 Pg.95. Teaser-p 119 (Page 83)

AISHUMA Senior Member
AISHUMA
AISHUMA

Joined: 12 February 2013
Posts: 613

Posted: 30 June 2013 at 12:06pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Anjani9

Aishu...I would have said Hi to you 100 times but you have not responded to me...Shocked
Me & suku are busy in bringing back lost smile on Shirley's face

sshirley IF-Rockerz
sshirley
sshirley

Joined: 09 December 2008
Posts: 8277

Posted: 30 June 2013 at 12:07pm | IP Logged

Originally posted by meena_kannan

Interesting chapter Shirley .

Thanks a lot Meena.


Mentoring part written really  well.
 
I am glad it came out well
 

Ashus conflict/duvidha also portrayed well thru your writing skills though it is still not very clear whether Ashu is physically attracted to Nidhi or is it love at first sight !  
 
Thank u! I am happy that I have been able to portray it well.

@Bold - well a few others too have the same question. You will get the answer in the next chapter
 
The last part looks like Ashu went to Mallu with the sole purpose of getting intimate with her LOLLOLLOL but I think seeing her expression he will back off  , she is so deeply in love with him which is making him feel all the more guilty , confused etc  .
 
Ah.. the highly controversial last scene. LOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOL 
Wait and watch what he will do and brace yourself. LOLLOLLOL 
@Bold - come on yaar. the guy is not in a position to even think straight. Ek toh har waqt har jagah Nidhi hi khyalon me aati hai. Aur upar se he is disgusted and ashamed of himself - Is haalat me can he even think straight? Lets just say that he went to her becoz he just needed to divert himself and needed company and out of a kind of guilt thought he should spend more time with her.

 
Overall well written and waiting for the next update . 

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AISHUMA

Anjani9 IF-Sizzlerz
Anjani9
Anjani9

Joined: 18 January 2012
Posts: 13006

Posted: 30 June 2013 at 12:09pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by AISHUMA

Originally posted by Anjani9

Aishu...I would have said Hi to you 100 times but you have not responded to me...Shocked
Me & suku are busy in bringing back lost smile on Shirley's face
Smile

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AISHUMA

sshirley IF-Rockerz
sshirley
sshirley

Joined: 09 December 2008
Posts: 8277

Posted: 30 June 2013 at 12:27pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by alkaparmart

Sorry sshirley,i am late.Though i read your chap on that day when you posted it.But still now i am in dilemma what to comment?yes,as Ashni fan i feel awkward about Ashmal relation.And not feel confortable about Ashmal.But yes,here i am always feeling that Ashu starteed to like Nidhi but he is running to that fact and giving benefit mallika here.And last scene was beyond the boundry.And i  read your one comment that you are continueing this as a hot chap.So,i don't want to do negetive comment.But raha nahi gaya.Please,make this story as Ashni story.Aage aapki marjee.Agar aapke pas ashmal ke scene ke liye potenshial hai toh yeh ashni ke liye kyon nahi...

Sorry if i disappointed you
 
@Bold - no sorry reqd. Alka its okay.
 
@green. Okay I understand ur dilemma. don't worry.
 
@red - I understand what u all feel about AshMal. But please I request u to read my story with an open mind. Yes he is obviously attracted to nidhi and so is feeling ashamed, disgusted and guilty.
@Blue - beyond the boundry? a feather light kiss on the (esp. a fiance's) cheek is beyond the boundary? What dictionary are u using Alka? (I don't mean to insult u or anything. Just asking u to reconsider that scene in this light)
 
@Orange - You took it seriously? I was just teasing. waise bhi I can't write hot scenes.
 
@Pink - yaar all I can say is : pl, trust me as a writer.
 
@brown - No, not at all. you did not disappoint me at all.
 
Thank you Alka for ur review.

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jahanaaraparmarA

sshirley IF-Rockerz
sshirley
sshirley

Joined: 09 December 2008
Posts: 8277

Posted: 30 June 2013 at 12:51pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by deepaligupta197

Review chap 6:

The characters are interesting, and so are the situations they get into. The script is witty and the characters are gorgeous. You have that sorta glamor and that little over the top drama. It has so many twists and turns, you can try to guess what will happen next, but you never know. In one moment you can hate one character because of something, and in the other moment that one is great, but someone else is now the one you should hate. 

Thank you so much Deeps, for understanding and appreciating the depth and complexity of my characters and script. Abhi toh twists and turns shuru hi hue hain LOLLOL I am glad that an intelligent reader like you can't guess my next move - it gives me a thrill.
 
@bold - well life is not all black and white na, is it? One day you hate someone, the next day u love him, and u may be indifferent to him the 3rd day.
 
@
 
 
 Why doesn't he come to the point right away? Why does he have to lecture. I have had enough of them during college.

This story is extremely cliched in every single aspect. Nidhi is initially a spoiled brat who has an easy life that deals with economic benefits, partying all the time, and love interests.

Yeah u r absolutely right buddy.
 
 
By now she is totally engrossed and looks at him with bright intelligent eyes, willing him to continue

A somewhat positive characterization of Nidhi! Initilly taken up as a challenge from Anji , she now seems to b enjoying her mentors explainations''..we can see a slightly mature Nidhi peeping from behind the faade of a spoilt young girl, at a slow pace!

Yes I wanted to take her improvement even slower but since I have to finish this ff in a time limit and since my story is already moving slowly. I decided to start her improvement here itself.

 

God! What do I do now? How do I send her away?

The plot is meticulous and detailed presentation of all sorts of internal monologues. Also, their main conflicts happen when "someone" or "something" doesn't behave or happen according to the unwritten rules of popularity or social conventionalism.

ClapClapClap You understood it perfectly Deeps. You don't know how happy I m to read this. Thank you so very much.

 

This is what happens Ashutosh, if you don't get married at the right time! Elders are always right.. Agar maine shaadi kar li hoti aaj se 5-6 saal pahle, toh I would have been too busy with Mallika and our family. Phir aise mera dimaag toh kharaab nahi hota! Ab bas! No more thinking about Nidhi, no more calling her to my cabin.

These are what're known as self-limiting beliefs; ideas that become so entrenched within your sense of self and identity that they've become part of you. They're the little voice in the back of your mind that keeps telling you that nothing you do is going to work That is when Ashu tries to justify his relationship with Mallika. He somehow knows that Nidhi is much younger to him but cant seem to resist her either. She is like a magnet , the reason why he turns to Mallika .

Exactly. You do understand the depth of my writing perfectly. Thank you - this motivates me like nothing can.
 
The story flows beautifully, some humour that adds to the flavour , and the chemistry of the characters is just amazing.

Thank you so much.

@bold - you are the only one who noticed this - the chemistry here is unique and too subtle to catch. So a big round of applause for u  ClapClapClapClapClap ClapClapClapClapClap ClapClapClapClapClap ClapClapClapClapClap
 
Thanks for such a matured awesome take on my chapter HugHugHugHugHug

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deepaligupta197

sshirley IF-Rockerz
sshirley
sshirley

Joined: 09 December 2008
Posts: 8277

Posted: 30 June 2013 at 12:57pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by bc123456

Thank Shirley , after giving us all heartburn , you are planning to give us antacids , is it? Wink Well you better hurry up with it before all of us get peptic ulcers worrying about Ashni  so you better start writing faster , as we all desperately need the relief of a lovely surpriseParty
 
Yeah Dr. Babs. Antacids.
 
 De denge de denge aisi bhi kya jaldi hai?
 
parmarA IF-Sizzlerz
parmarA
parmarA

Joined: 01 July 2012
Posts: 22100

Posted: 30 June 2013 at 12:59pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by sshirley

Originally posted by alkaparmart

Sorry sshirley,i am late.Though i read your chap on that day when you posted it.But still now i am in dilemma what to comment?yes,as Ashni fan i feel awkward about Ashmal relation.And not feel confortable about Ashmal.But yes,here i am always feeling that Ashu starteed to like Nidhi but he is running to that fact and giving benefit mallika here.And last scene was beyond the boundry.And i  read your one comment that you are continueing this as a hot chap.So,i don't want to do negetive comment.But raha nahi gaya.Please,make this story as Ashni story.Aage aapki marjee.Agar aapke pas ashmal ke scene ke liye potenshial hai toh yeh ashni ke liye kyon nahi...

Sorry if i disappointed you
 
@Bold - no sorry reqd. Alka its okay.
 
@green. Okay I understand ur dilemma. don't worry.
 
@red - I understand what u all feel about AshMal. But please I request u to read my story with an open mind. Yes he is obviously attracted to nidhi and so is feeling ashamed, disgusted and guilty.
@Blue - beyond the boundry? a feather light kiss on the (esp. a fiance's) cheek is beyond the boundary? What dictionary are u using Alka? (I don't mean to insult u or anything. Just asking u to reconsider that scene in this light)
 
@Orange - You took it seriously? I was just teasing. waise bhi I can't write hot scenes.
 
@Pink - yaar all I can say is : pl, trust me as a writer.
 
@brown - No, not at all. you did not disappoint me at all.
 
Thank you Alka for ur review.
 No,sshirley,our dictionary is same.But may i can't express myself so easily.Beyond the boundry se mera matlab i can't see mallika and ashu in one frame.

So that's only my intention.May be my words shows over reaction.
And yes,you all are having fun and i may took it seriously
I can understand your concept and after your clarification i will read it as a story,i promise.
again sorry for my over reactive words
sshirley IF-Rockerz
sshirley
sshirley

Joined: 09 December 2008
Posts: 8277

Posted: 30 June 2013 at 1:13pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Anjani9

Ch-6 Review:
 
Thank you Anjani. 
 
I am known for my questions, so let me start the review with Question...
 
Okay, bracing myself
 
Ashu is attracted to Nidhi and he takes care of juniors and thorough professional, so he is coaching Nidhi etc but why Nidhi is keen in learing? Because of her bet with Anji or she likes the way Ashu guides her?
 
Yes intitally its becoz of anji's challenge. but later, the way Ashu explains and mentors her, it sparks the latent intelligence in her and she gets really interested.
 
 
Love the friendship of Ashu, Armaan and Mallika...Mallika is concerned for Armaan and his future..the bond between friends is very strong...
 
Yes they all 3 share a unique bond.. the question is : will this friendSHIP sink, when iceberg Nidhi collides with it? 
I am very eager to know the reaction for AshNi story and how you unfold it...
 
I am equally eager and nervous about writing those scenes.
 
The scene where Ashu is guilty about retaining Nidhi has come out well...Mallika is able to read all the expressions of Ashu and it will be difficult for him to hide the fact for long...
 
Thank you! finally someone noticed that. Yes Mallika would find out soon.
 
My guess is he will either dismiss Nidhi from job or leave the place for few days...but you said there is pleasant surprise...wondering what it would be..
 
Dekhte jaaiye
 
The final scene is so natura for me and it is perfectly fitting into the story...as Ashu is guilty about his attraction towards Nidhi..he is trying to evade it by getting close to Mallika...
 
Oh Anjani. I don't know what to say. I'm heaving a huge sigh of relief. Finally someone understood that scene and found it natural and perfectly fitting acc. to the story. I thank you from the bottom of my heart HugHugHug
 
 

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