Diya Aur Baati Hum

Some thoughts- Worth a Read

palak_lrl_remix thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
I have been a silent reader on this forum and I need you to help me understand a few things. 

When I watch this show I can't resist but  feel extremely sorry for the way things shape up.

Firstly how can everything be Sandhya's fault? I mean every single thing. Mohit had a affair, impregnated a girl and when Sandhya proposed that their marriage is in the interest of the family, Bhabho ousted on her and behaved as if Sandhya is doing so to satisfy her own whims. What benefit would she possibly draw from their marriage but  then when the entire community turned against them Bhabho shamelessly blamed Sandhya for the entire ruckus. Bhabho did not even have one word to say to his ladla.

Next Chavi's cheating fiasco. I know Chavi came home, cooked up a story and projected Sandhya in a dark light but isn't Sandhya the same woman who has stood beside the family in every situation from a petty plumbing problem to exposing Meena's sly plotting. So don't you think Bhabho aka self procclaimed sugan beendini could have exercised prudence or at least chosen her words wisely while talking to Sandhya.

I still remember this episode when Suraj was contesting in World's Top Cook and he had performed badly in a round, Infuriated Bhabho scolded Sandhya and said that if Suraj has to leave from here, heartbroken, then it will be totally your fault. Sandhya was the one who encouraged your son when his doting family could do nothing but mock his culinary skills, she helped him cover the distance traversing from a small sweet shop to a global platform. He is standing on the precipice of world wide acclaim and all you can say to the woman behind his success is that she won't be pardoned if anything adverse happens. Brilliant!

Sandhya came and told her that she is the one who left the shutter open. Bhabho is supposedly the most intelligent woman in the house who is very proud of her actions and decisions. Now this intelligent woman thinks that Sandhya is so shallow that once she becomes an IPS officer she will forego the respect she holds for the elders of the family. If she were this shallow couldn't she easily shift the blame to someone else. 

And all of this is not because Bhabho doesn't approve of her education, these incidents do not even bear a remote connection to her studies. She has an objection to TV, newspaper, books because they are for Sandhya's studies but can't she impose a restriction on Chavi who recently ordered a beauty product or Meenakshi who is constantly spending on laali-powder.

Besides Bhabho never misses an opportunity to express her disdain regarding uneducated beendni vis-a-vis an educated one but had this been even partially true she wouldn't have had a worthless daughter in law like Meenakshi.

I think bhabho is one of those mother in laws who drive down the daughter in laws on the verge of depression and placing her on the same pedestal as of a mother is slightly discomforting for me.


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slodkagila thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
Originally posted by: palak_lrl_remix

Firstly how can everything be Sandhya's fault? I mean every single thing. Mohit had a affair, impregnated a girl and when Sandhya proposed that their marriage is in the interest of the family, Bhabho ousted on her and behaved as if Sandhya is doing so to satisfy her own whims. Here bhabo immediately accepted to the marriage of Momily on a condition that emly shd change her identity. Bhabo said that emily's parents would be informed about the same. But Sandy interferred refused saying that it is not correct and gave bhashan on how it will affect emily's feelings. So bhabo gave her the work to convince the village people. Bhabo's concern here was all would boycott their family if theybring in an other caste women. It was also shown in kajiri case (honour killing. Had sandy left it to the parents of both side to decide she would not have been blamed.

Next Chavi's cheating fiasco. I know Chavi came home, cooked up a story and projected Sandhya in a dark light but isn't Sandhya the same woman who has stood beside the family in every situation from a petty plumbing problem to exposing Meena's sly plotting. So don't you think Bhabho aka self procclaimed sugan beendini could have exercised prudence or at least chosen her words wisely while talking to Sandhya.When chavi raised questions agst sandy, she stood answerless. Bhabo should have thought but chavi's argument went well agst sandy & when sandy raised a question agst bhabo, bhabo got even more irritated & her ego made do all these without giving a chance to sandy. Benefit of doubt given to chavi

I still remember this episode when Suraj was contesting in World's Top Cook and he had performed badly in a round, Infuriated Bhabho scolded Sandhya and said that if Suraj has to leave from here, heartbroken, then it will be totally your fault. If u remember bhabo informed sandy abt suraj's mental stability & its side effects like in school he got his legs paralysed for a few days when he lost in a competition. Sandy stressed that he should participate. Bhabo had faith on her & accepted her proposal. Moreover she herself apologised & claimed that she is very fortunate to have a DIL like sandy & that too before his final win on that competition.

Sandhya came and told her that she is the one who left the shutter open. Bhabho is supposedly the most intelligent woman in the house who is very proud of her actions and decisions. Bhabo also raised questions like how can u do so??? u told that u found a piece of bangle which belongs to emily chavi or meena??? Why didn't u say it before??? so u tooo have started lying???? Sandy gave answers for all these questions. One more thing when a hubby like suraj can't find that she is lying (actually sandy made a perfect plan) how can u expect bhabo to think about her...

She has an objection to TV, newspaper, books because they are for Sandhya's studies but can't she impose a restriction on Chavi who recently ordered a beauty product or Meenakshi who is constantly spending on laali-powder. If u remember bhabo ordered meena to cut down her cosmetics one day & moreover meena silently buys all these without the permission of bhabo with her secretly saved money. With regard to chavi that cream is a free sample. No money was spent on that. Moreover the same bhabo objected to give her money for cell phone top up. And with regard to these newspapers & magazines & tv before knowing that these are brought by suraj for sandy she objected to all these. She made babasa to decide btw paper & paan & also taunted meena & chavi for TV even before suraj said that it was for sandy.

Besides Bhabho never misses an opportunity to express her disdain regarding uneducated beendni vis-a-vis an educated one but had this been even partially true she wouldn't have had a worthless daughter in law like Meenakshi.
As far as i have seen/ noticed bhabo, she stopped comparing educated vs uneducated soon after meena's revelation in june 2012. She even never taunts emily for being educated but is concerned abt her religion thats it. She now taunts sandy for not fulfilling the duty of a wife & carrying on with her dream even after her brain washing drama in oct 2012. And the worst part here is suraj supporting her to the core & also lies to bhabo every now & then for her (night college). This revived bhabo's ire once again.

I think bhabho is one of those mother in laws who drive down the daughter in laws on the verge of depression and placing her on the same pedestal as of a mother is slightly discomforting for me.
Apart from the liqour choc bhabo is not evil & also good at heart. So sandy giving her par treatment as that of a mother is not bad at all.

shruthiravi thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
@palak Sandhya has 2 basic problems. One she gives over importance to Bhabo over Sooraj. Second her values are good, but she doesnt know to play smart and mostly go on confrontation mode. Bhabo and Meena very well knows this weakness of Sandhya and are exploiting to the core.
Now also Sooraj is supporting her, almost standing firm against his family. Sandhya is still confused whether to stand by her husband and save his honour or for the sake of her backstabbing MIL she should leave her dream.
Sandhya should know that respecting everyone is good, but knowing their true nature sacrificing for their sake is not going to get her anything. She needs to either come clean with her husband on the lie she told, or should give more importance to her relationship with Sooraj and take him along with her so that she can address some of her MILs insecurities.  
Sonali_11 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
I totally agree with Shobhana ..She  gave perfect answers .Nothing much left for me to say 
kritikakk thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
bhabo's issue as iv understood with help of friends here, is mainly sandy's ips dream and fact that surya relation hasnt progressed! which is ok, i mean even i find after all this time its ridiculous that sandy still maintains a distance from soorah, its very abnormal coz an extension of love is phy relation!

on lighter note, yest epi, my ears were dieing to hear sooraj say that he has funded d whole family till now incl mohit wedding n now chavi, so why cant he spend his earnings for his wife too!
kritikakk thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
having said that, sandhya too now needs some reality check! her relation thru marriage to suraj joined 1st, n that subsequently gave her relations to rest of RP! not d other way arnd!

it good to respect her elders n treat her MIL as a mother, but same time sandy know bhabo hasnt accepted her as a daughter or d liquor chocs thg wld never hav happened!

sandhya needs to learn prioritization in her life, and her 1st priorty is her husband n marital relation, then all else follows!
shrree thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
chill guys.. i feel now suraj will solve everything