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Urgent advice required

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ashu9

Senior Member

ashu9

Joined: 28 March 2010

Posts: 223

Posted: 17 June 2013 at 2:03am | IP Logged
Hey ppl... I have a problem... Please tell me what to do... I need urgent and expert advice..I like this guy who is a mutual friend.. I had a crush on him n it slowly developed into love... I have proposed to him... But he maintains to be friends absolutely... I was ok.. I msgd him the other day n he doesnt reply me... I dont know what to do... I want him.. He is very important to me.. Please help

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adesinewyorker

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adesinewyorker

Joined: 17 June 2013

Posts: 5

Posted: 17 June 2013 at 10:26am | IP Logged
Hi Ashu,

I'm so sorry to hear your dilemma. I've been in your shoes countless times! It's always hard when the person we have feelings for doesn't reciprocate. We feel rejected and then it leads us to doubt ourselves.

First of all, give yourself a pat on the back for being proactive and going after what you want! It must have been scary, but also empowering to tell the person you love how you feel and what you want. Congratulate yourself for being so brave.

Since he insists on just being friends, you have a couple of options. If he really is this important to you, then you'll be able to keep him in your life as a friend...but not right now. Right now, you're upset and hurt and you need to process your feelings and heal. The best way to do that is to put some temporary distance between the both of you. Be kind to yourself during this process. Spend time with you close family and friends. Treat yourself to a day at the salon. Give yourself the attention and respect that you desire from a man. After several months (4-6) see where you are and how you feel and then touch base with him again. Who knows? He might just reach out to you before then, changing his mind because he didn't realize how much he missed you and what his feelings really were.

Your second option is to move on completely. Understand that you can't control what other people feel. Realize that your time spent with him in hopes of romance is a waste. You're better off taking time off to heal and find someone else who isn't going to be foolish enough to ever let you go.

I hope this helps! Big hug, Ashu!

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ashu9

Senior Member

ashu9

Joined: 28 March 2010

Posts: 223

Posted: 17 June 2013 at 10:43am | IP Logged
Thank you sooo much... I m in love with what u just said... I will try the first option as of now... and later if he doesnt come back, move on completely... Thanks a lot... Means a lot... Thank u once again :)

adesinewyorker

Newbie

adesinewyorker

Joined: 17 June 2013

Posts: 5

Posted: 17 June 2013 at 10:48am | IP Logged
You're very welcome! You might want to check out my blog where I write more on relationship and dating advice: www.adesinewyorker.com

Please keep me posted and feel free to reach out!

Miss_uliuli

IF-Sizzlerz

Miss_uliuli

Joined: 19 September 2012

Posts: 13086

Posted: 20 June 2013 at 4:47am | IP Logged
Originally posted by ashu9

Hey ppl... I have a problem... Please tell me what to do... I need urgent and expert advice..I like this guy who is a mutual friend.. I had a crush on him n it slowly developed into love... I have proposed to him... But he maintains to be friends absolutely... I was ok.. I msgd him the other day n he doesnt reply me... I dont know what to do... I want him.. He is very important to me.. Please help

why r u behind a man who doesn't even reply to u???ignore him n love urself 1st!it's most important..

Surabhi_G

Senior Member

Surabhi_G

Joined: 22 December 2012

Posts: 311

Posted: 31 July 2013 at 10:44pm | IP Logged
Hey dear.. I feel for you. I  know that it feels very bad when you love someone and he does not love you back. But you know what, we can't force someone to love. It's natural. When someone does not love you, you can't do anything but move on.  I am sure you will find someone who would love you a lot. You just need to wait for the right guy. For now, I suggest you to accept the reality and move on. Don't worry, everything will be alright.

aryan.nair

Newbie

aryan.nair

Joined: 09 August 2013

Posts: 2

Posted: 11 August 2013 at 2:26am | IP Logged
Men are less picky than women, in the sense that all a girl has to be, to attract men, is be young and not deformed... For most ordinary guys that is .. the ones who are constantly looking to fall in love

So there are quite a few possible permuations to explain the scenario..and since you have not provided much info on both of you, here are some possible   scenarios which maybe relevant to your case

- The guy is pretty good looking or famous or has lots of money.. meaning he has access to lots of women.. which may explain the reason he has not fallen for you

- maybe another girl, more pretty than you, has already hooked him, and he stupidly thinks he is love.. in which case, its just a matter of time, before you can hook him, since these feelings are mostly temporary

- since he gets girls easily, they are not a priority for him anymore.. maybe he has other priorities, like money , career etc

- maybe he thinks you are interested in him for a long-term relationship.. and he does not want to spoil his future

- maybe he thinks you are a feminist.. meaning, you might entrap him, and then  blackmail him to marry you threating to cry rape if he doest not comply

- one or more of the above factors.

No2Pencil

IF-Dazzler

No2Pencil

Joined: 29 July 2013

Posts: 4130

Posted: 23 August 2013 at 1:00am | IP Logged
LOL LOL ...lady if he don't respond you..leave him for a while and let him realize the importance of you..if he genuinely love you he will come back...otherwise don't waste time and energy on him..keep calm and move on Wink

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