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JulieD

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JulieD

Joined: 17 June 2011

Posts: 3014

Posted: 11 June 2013 at 7:53pm | IP Logged
Hi everyone. This is my first FF and I have finally decided to start posting it up. Please let me know what you think.

Chapter One

Sugni sat on the tray of the truck watching the bednis perform Rai to the rythmic beats of the drums. The rich thakurs were already drunk and  making suggestive remarks at the bednis. As they finished the dance, the thakurs threw lots of money at them. The bednis all smiled and 
scooped up as much of the money as they could and tucked it into their blouses before making their way to the truck for a short break.
"Do you see how simple it was?" Aunt Meera asked her as they refreshed their throats with water and wine.
"Yes aunty, but I am still not sure that this is the right path for me. I just don't think I could perform Rai," Sugni said in a weak tone. She just could
not stand the thought of the thakurs watching her dance and making lewd remarks at her. 
"Then how do you suppose you will support your family? Gulabiya is ill as it is, Laxmi needs money for her hospital bills and Nagania needs 
money for the household expenses. If your uncles had not run off with your mother's money then that could have supported you all for sometime.
The grocery bill needs to be paid. Gulabiya is a good friend of mine but I also have my own bills to pay. You need to make up your mind soon. As it is
you don't really have much of a choice right now." Aunt Meera told her.
Bleakly, she realised that it was all true. There was no other option right now. They barely had anything left in the cupboard to eat and Gulabiya's medication
was almost over. Laxmi would be ready to give birth in a couple weeks and there was no money for the hospital bills. When she really thought 
about it, the only option left was to do Rai and get her sardakai done. 
Aunt Meera touched her on her shoulder in comfort before she headed back to do a final performance for the night. Tears flowed from Sugni's 
eyes when she thought of all her unfulfilled dreams. Before, she used to look up at the sky and dream of the near future when she and her mother
would move to the city and start a new life. But now because of present circumstances,  there was just no use dreaming anymore. 
What's the point when she knew they would never come true. She looked at Aunt Meera and the other bednis and knew that the next time, she 
would not be a spectator but she would be out there in the middle of the crowd dancing with the rest of the bednis. After all, what other choice did 
she have?

"Mother, you are not thinking rationally. Please take a rest and then we will think of a solution," Uma was trying her utmost best to calm her
mother down. But she was so very angry and refusing to listen to anyone. "I don't think the situation is that bad that we need to lose our reputation
 in the process."
"What reputation Uma? How dare that woman walk out on Bhushan? Everyone in the village knows what happened. So what if he slapped her
once? She deserved it!! Who does she think she is?" MaSaheb was so angry right now. They had all gone to the next village to attend a friend's 
wedding. Bhushan was on one of his drinking sprees with Jwala Singh and found himself flirting with a  bedni. His wife, Suman, was deeply 
embarassed by his flirting and yelled at him. He, in turn, slapped her and she got angry and left him and their home. A thakurain walking out on 
her husband was just not heard off and MaSaheb was deeply embarassed and very angry. "How will I show my face in society again?"
"Ma, let's just cal.."
"No Uma. I want you to call Suman on the phone right now. Let her know that she needs to get back in this house right away or else heads will roll!!"
"Okay ma, I will call her and speak to her but you need to calm down now before your blood pressure hits the roof."
Uma left her mother to relax and went into the other room to call Suman. She knew how upset Suman was when she saw Bhushan with that bedni.
It was  so difficult watching one's husband flirt with another woman right in front of your eyes and know that you cannot do a single thing
about it because that was the tradition. The thakurs tradition. Uma had experienced that same situation with her own late husband and she knew 
that tradition or not, she never wanted her younger sister, Kuhu, to go through that nor did she want any of her brothers to follow that tradition.
For awhile it looked like Bhushan was completely and totally in love with Suman only but recently he started going out on business meetings with
Jwala Singh and now it seemed he had also gotten into the bedni tradition. MaSaheb, she knew, just hated bednis to the pit of her stomach. But 
she followed the thakurs' traditions to the tee and saw no problem with any of her sons having a bedni. After all, according to her, her father had 
one and even her husband did. That was just their way of life, the thakurs' way of life.  Suman needed to put up and shut up as far as MaSaheb was
 concerned.

"Uh...ma..Suman has refused to come back unless Bhushan apologises publicly to her and promises to never look at another woman again..." Uma
was terrified to reveal this to MaSaheb but there was no other choice.
"What? She wants a public apology???... Here is my decision...Tell Suman that if she is not back in this house by tomorrow evening, then I will 
personally select a bedni for Bhushan and she will live in the guest house..."
"Ma?...what are you saying?"
"I want no arguments. That is my final decision," MaSaheb was firm and walked away. It was time for her evening prayers.
Uma did not agree with MaSaheb's decision. She felt really bad for Suman, who was actually from the city. She did not understand these traditions
of rai and sardakai. She was in fact, disgusted with such practices when she learnt just what Uma had gone through. 
Uma just could not find the courage to tell Suman about MaSaheb's order.  There just had to be something she could do...Suddenly an idea came 
to her mind and she hurried to her room to make a private phone call...


I want to say thank you to Vinnie and Aarti whose FFs had inspired me to write one. 
Special thanks to Vinnie who has been a huge supporter and editor.


Edited by JulieD - 11 June 2013 at 7:55pm

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Vinnie79

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Vinnie79

Joined: 13 June 2012

Posts: 4806

Posted: 11 June 2013 at 8:25pm | IP Logged
 I am so glad you decided to share this...you are a wonderful writer Julie. I am in love with this story ...  You  took everything I  hated  about PSH one  and wrote it in such a way  that you can't  help but feel the helplessness  that compelll Sugni to take  such a drastic step.  Keep it up looking forward to this. 
 ...Aww thanks for the dedication ...but  i have done nothing really!...Your talent speaks for itself!

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JulieD

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JulieD

Joined: 17 June 2011

Posts: 3014

Posted: 11 June 2013 at 8:31pm | IP Logged
Thank you Vinnie. 
But I do appreciate the motivation you have given me so far. Hope you will like the rest.

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sara1993

Goldie

sara1993

Joined: 13 April 2013

Posts: 1564

Posted: 11 June 2013 at 8:48pm | IP Logged
Hi Julie.. i'm soo happy that you have decided to try you own fan fiction story... You did a wonderful job... i really did enjoy it, i liked your  own touch to the story and and the way you presented the characters thus far... Sugni i see still has that strong determination of not following the norms of her society... good for her.. i hope she will remain this wayWink... and finally Bushan decides to slap  Suman... lol...i  see you have added a different dimension to their relationship and Bushan is definitely his own person now moreover, he is in cahoots with Jalwa... very interesting... Oh, i can't wait for Vikram to enter the story...Embarrassed... You did an awesome job Julie... i can't wait for your next chapter,... You and Vinnie will both now have me in suspense till the end of your FFs LOL... Keep up the good work.

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JulieD

IF-Dazzler

JulieD

Joined: 17 June 2011

Posts: 3014

Posted: 12 June 2013 at 6:07am | IP Logged
Originally posted by sara1993

Hi Julie.. i'm soo happy that you have decided to try you own fan fiction story... You did a wonderful job... i really did enjoy it, i liked your  own touch to the story and and the way you presented the characters thus far... Sugni i see still has that strong determination of not following the norms of her society... good for her.. i hope she will remain this wayWink... and finally Bushan decides to slap  Suman... lol...i  see you have added a different dimension to their relationship and Bushan is definitely his own person now moreover, he is in cahoots with Jalwa... very interesting... Oh, i can't wait for Vikram to enter the story...Embarrassed... You did an awesome job Julie... i can't wait for your next chapter,... You and Vinnie will both now have me in suspense till the end of your FFs LOL... Keep up the good work.
 
 
Thank you Sara.Big smile I hope the story turns out good. EmbarrassedYour comments are greatly appreciated. As I said, it's my first FF so I need everyone's opinion.

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payal7

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payal7

Joined: 14 August 2012

Posts: 3372

Posted: 12 June 2013 at 8:14am | IP Logged
WOW Julie
 
i know you have an amazing ability to bring characters to life from the small scenes you have done in PHS 2 so I was expecting the story telling to be vivid and I am not disappinted. You grabbed my attention and held on to it from the first sentence.
 
I am loving the the fact that you have completely changed the persona of the support characters like Suman, Bhusan, Gigi. It will be interesting to see a different dimension of these characters.
 
Excellent first chapter. Looking forward to the next.
 
PS. thank you for sharing

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Sandy66

Goldie

Sandy66

Joined: 12 June 2012

Posts: 1620

Posted: 13 June 2013 at 1:30pm | IP Logged
SmileJulie dear, WOW!!!, Bravo, Amazing, Brilliant, Splendid, outstanding first Chapter.Clap
Your Fan Fiction was beautifully writtenThumbs Up. Love it immensely. Glad that you decided to write it. Keep it up.
Sugni's in a dilemma,the responsibilities and the burden of everyone falls on her shoulder. Hope her "Knight in Shinning Armor" save her from doing Rai.
Looking forward for the next chapter Julie honey.
Flower Pictures, Scraps, Images and Comments
Flower Pictures, Scraps, Images and Comments

Flower Pictures, Scraps, Images and Comments
These beautiful are just for you JulieHug


Edited by Sandy66 - 13 June 2013 at 1:31pm

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rose.lavender

Senior Member

rose.lavender

Joined: 23 February 2013

Posts: 453

Posted: 13 June 2013 at 1:46pm | IP Logged
Julie,you sure are courageous, and I must applaud youClap
Your FF has started out amazingly and brilliantly well.
I have enjoyed the first chapter alot, and looking forward soo much for the remaining ones to come.
I really do love the concept as PSH.
Now,I think we'll get the real story exactly how it should have been told in PSH,right?Wink
Now,I am waiting impatiently for Vikram's entrance.
I was wondering when Vinnie's FF ends,I'll be soo sad,but I am enthusiasticnow as you have started yours,as I love reading all the FF's so far.
Julie,you have done a great job of the first chapter, and I am sure you'll get better and better as the story unfolds.Thumbs Up
Just don't give up on it!

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