Joined: 26 November 2009
Joined: 26 November 2009
Joined: 04 May 2012
Joined: 17 December 2012
Joined: 16 March 2006
Finished reading all the stories. Each of them had something unique to offer and was a delightful read. I'd like to congratulate and thank all the writers for their fine efforts and providing these wonderful stories for our reading pleasure. My reviews follow.
I'd firstly like to congratulate you for this unique take on the plot; unconventional, but really refreshing. The characters were well-developed and I particularly liked the scene between Tina and Naqsh where he presents his perspective about the betting issue; good research there too. The drug-stupor scenes were quite bold and rustic dialogues added an authentic touch to them. I liked how you introduced a variety of crimes along with the betting/fixing racket, and ended the story on a realistic grey note. Excellent work by our female cops (they didn't exactly pose as escorts, though) and lovely co-ordination between the juniors; you appropriately gave everybody in the team a useful role. The scene where they are all honoured was nice. You seem to be a fan of a certain lady forensic doctor; good job there too.
Now' like others have mentioned, the main issue here was the clarity. There were three different events (four if you count the CID Bureau) with different characters occurring in parallel, and they were introduced almost simultaneously. Some of it got rather confusing and would've benefitted much with more clear narration. But the overall story, suspense factor and character portrayal was excellent. I'm sure you can become a top writer with a little attention to the clarity. Best wishes, looking forward to more from you!
The plot justified the given theme well and progressed with a uniform pace. The scene where Abhi-Daya capture Nihaal was great with amusing dialogues. Our female cops were both well-portrayed; I liked the casual interaction between them and how our duo cared for them. The actual escort scene was quite bold, but appropriately served its purpose without getting too explicit. I'd have liked to know how exactly Purvi and Shreya managed to wheedle the secrets out of those four, though. That part was rather vague and a more detailed approach would've made it more interesting. I also felt the story was a bit straightforward and lacked in the thrill/danger department. However, the writing style and narration were excellent and very pleasant to read. Keep going!
Good effort. I liked the development of suspense and thrill as the story progressed. The girls did a good job and the villain was formidable. The climax was good. There were some loopholes though, and you seem to have rushed through some parts. Anyway, great work overall.
The middle portion of the story was really thrilling and suspenseful. The portion where our duo follows the ladies to the XXX area and after talking to ACP sir realize that they're on a mission of their own was very well-written. Dialogues were really good too. I felt that it lost some steam towards the climax though, and the end could've been much better. A better narration of the final battle would've improved it too. However, the portrayal of Purvi and Shreya was cool and I liked how they bravely go on to handle the case despite knowing the odds involved. The gambling den scene was well-narrated and I liked the duo interaction in the Qualis. Props for the masterful buildup of suspense in the middle. Keep writing!
The writing style/narration was nicely detailed. The story was intelligently set up as the action progressed. Props for giving prominence to Purvi and portraying her character so decently. Abhijeet sir's interaction with her (especially when he gives her his coat) was very sweet. Shreya's role should've been larger given the plot, though. I liked how you spread subtle hints about the entire thing being a set-up by our CID team, just enough for an attentive reader to get it without giving anything away immediately. The climax was thrilling, and ending was sweet. The dialogues were rather bold but set up good ambience; I could picture it happening in my mind, especially Shanaya's interaction with Rishi. The explanation at the end was a bit too long, though. I loved the "3 Ws" and "Cheque De" dialogues. Looking forward to more from you!
Going with hockey was a good choice. The plot was good, but I felt that it fell a little short because the betting racket was not fully expanded upon and Purvi and Shreya's disguise scene was rather short and they didn't pose as escorts, though the disguise was effective nevertheless. But the story was nice to read and the dialogues were well done. I liked how Purvi keeps calm despite learning about the DNA report and also how she encourages and supports Freddy sir during the escape scene. The climax was very good, though a little confusing. The ending felt a little rushed, but you did it justice overall. Good work!
Joined: 21 September 2011
Joined: 21 September 2011
Joined: 24 January 2010
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