These are the words that are the meanings of my life. Since I was born, my parents never wanted me. Upset they lost their first child, who would have supposedly been my brother; they despised having me, a girl.
A girl... what's wrong in girl? Is it because our bodies are different? Is it because we don't depend on the gender of a child? What really is the big deal? My whole life, I was looked down upon, just for being a girl. My parents at one point wanted to give me up for adoption, but didn't because of what our neighbors would say. So instead, they kept me in a corner and just checked if I was living or not.
As for my little brother, Shyam, they gave him all the love I never got. They spoiled him with goods, giving him every toy he wanted. He would notice that I didn't get much and would approach me, but my parents never liked it. Shyam would be nice to me, but around my parents, he would ignore me.
At the age of 8, my father had gotten a fortune teller to find out what Shyam's faith had in store. The gypsy said how my brother would grow to be a handsome man and would have a beautiful bride and kids. He would do well in school, as long as he doesn't mess up. When the gypsy was about to leave, she noticed me working and had halted immediately. My parents were too busy praising Shyam while she came over to me.
"What is your name child," she asked.
"Khushi," I replied.
"And how old are you?"
"Hmm..." She looked back at my parents and then at me. "A mere child of 12, almost a teenager, and never wanted by her parents. ... A very sad story."
I looked down.
"But little do they know that one day, that you will grow to be a bright young woman."
"What do you mean," I asked, amazed.
"I won't say much child, but I will say this: you will grow to be a powerful woman, and your parents will regret behaving the way they do with you. They will regret treating you like a piece of garbage and will be at your feet for your forgiveness."
"Yes... but, at the time when you try to forgive them, you will discover such a secret, that you will never forgive them."
She started to move away. "In time, my child. In time."
"But how will I know?"
"You will, but I will tell you just one other thing ... trust your heart. Follow it, and all happiness that you have never received in life, will be fulfilled."
"From one man," she smiled.
The gypsy went out the door and I ran after her.
"But will I have to face the secret on my own?"
She stopped and turned and looked at me. "No, my child, you won't be alone. Like I said child, follow your heart. That one man will help you receive the love and happiness you deserve. And when the time comes for the grave secret, that man and you will stand side by side and face it."
I was about to ask something else, when my father came and grabbed my arm and pulled me aside.
"Why are you bothering her," he boomed.
"It's okay," the gypsy said. "She was just leading me out." She looked at me. "Remember what I told you child ... always follow your heart."
I nodded and she left, and I left to my room. I couldn't help but to think of what she had told me. Follow my heart, one man, and a grave secret? What could all that mean?
But today... today I know. Today, as I stand beside that man, after following my heart and finding him, we are standing as we hear that grave secret. To think that this could be that secret is tearing my heart apart. My own parents and doing such a thing? It's heart breaking.
My name is Khushi Kumari Gupta, now Khushi Arnav Singh Raizada, and this... is my story.