INDIA TV reveals-Balaji, Ashwin, Pujara FIXED TOO!

Poll Question: INDIA TV is the channel....

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-Cruiser- IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 23 November 2011
Posts: 21614

Posted: 24 May 2013 at 6:12am | IP Logged

Pretty stressful day at the office, Country Sales lagging behind the projections...reach home thinking will make some Cauliflower as a delicious side dish to Rice n Rajma and suddenly realise I had used the last few drops of the last Sunflower oil bottle yesterday, had forgotten to buy oil as I drove home today and on top, no butter in fridge as well.DeadAngry

Just as a bit of nerve starts taking control, Cruiser deep breathes, says to himself,"Calm Down, Calm Down..." and tries his tried and tested formula of always getting a hearty laugh!Thumbs Up

YESSS...cruiser switches on his Isko Laga Daala, Toh Life Zhinga Lala, TATA SKY PLUS and straight away dives to great Comedy channel, INDIA TV!Dancing...(For whatever reason they insist on being called a News Channel)Shocked...and there it goes...

**Those of you who are INDIA TV Victims, know well how it's announcements are made and how they manage to keep you on tenterhooks for hours together! For those who have never watched INDIA just don't know what you are missing in life! CryConfused



""Aaj Shaam 6.02 Baje. Dekhiye Kaise Kiya Balaji ne match fix! Ji haan. Balaji ne kiya hai Match Fix. Bahut Bada Match Fix Kiya Hai Bala Ji ne. Laxmipathy BalaJi nikle Match Fixer!Geek...

...Laxmipathy BalaJi jinhein diya poore desh ne pyaar. Balaji jinhone antar-rashtriya star ki cricket kheli hai Bharat ke liye, Taminadu ke liye, aur ab IPL mein khel rahe hain Kolkata Knight Riders ke liye. Jaane mane khilaadi hain Laxmipathy Balaji jinhone kiya apna Match fix!...


...Sirf Balaji hi naheen! Match kiya fix Cheteshwar Pujara ne bhi. GeekGeek...Match fix kiya Ravichandran Ashwin ne bhi. INDIA TV pe dhamaakedaar BREAKING NEWS! GeekGeek GeekGeek

INDIA TV karega pardafaash! Sirf INDIA TV par hogi ye Breaking News, aaj sham 06.02 Minute par.

Lekin philhaal jaari rahega ye special programme. Ji haan. Aap Dekh Rahe hain,

UFO ne aasmaan mein kheench li gaay! GeekGeek GeekGeek

Ji haan, ye khauffnaak haadsa hua Mexico ke ek gaanv mein jahaan Eduardo naam ka kisaan apni gaay ghaas charaane laaya thha ek paahadi ghaati ki taraf...

...Eduardo ne pee li ek bottle sharaab, aankh lagi hi thhi ki dekhi bhayaanak, aankhon ko chaka-chaundh kar dene waali Roshni.Star...

 ...Eduardo ne dekha Aliens ka vimaan. Shocked...

...Ji haan Vimaan dekha Mexico ke ek gareeb kisaan ne. Geek

...Dharti ka naheen, kisi anya Griha se aaya thha ye Vimaan!Confused Vimaan se nikle thhe aliens. ConfusedConfused...

...Aliens jinhein chaahiye thhi Eduardo ki gaay! Evil Smile...

...Ji haan aliens hain Gaay chor.Evil Smile Chura le jaate hain maasoom Gaay. Evil Smile




OK, Cruiser got tired of INDIA TV and went for a game of Tennis and a swim. (and for a couple of bottles of sunflower oil, a slab of butter and some Orange juice as well...)Star

Came back three hours later, God knows what happened to UFO's aliens or rather to poor Eduardo's poorer Cow. Ermm

Thank God, I missed the long suspense they must have created on Match Fixing by Balaji, Pujara and Ashwin, because they must have tortured the viewers and callers enough and were actually revealing the Fixing detailsClapClap:

...INDIA TV bataana chaahta hai ki Balaji ne kiya hai apna Match fix, ramp model Priya Thakur ke saath!...

...Ji haan, Bala Ji ne kar li hai Sagaayi. Balaji ki ho gayi hai Engagement. Balaji Ka MATCH FIX!...

Dekhiye Balaji ki daanton ki chamak...kaise khushi se chamchama rahe hain Balaji ke daant...ROFL

...Chetshwar Pujara ne kar li hai Shaadi. Unka bhi ho gaya MATCH FIX! Cheteshwar Pujara ko catch kiya hai Puja ne! Pujara ban gaye hain Pooja Ke Pujari!Clap...Dekhiye ye tasveerein...

Pujara ki ho gayi Pooja safal. Pujara kar rahe hain Puja ki Pooja! Pujara ka bhi MATCH FIX!ClapClap


Carrom Chandran Ashwin ka bhi Carrom khelna hua band! Carrom Chandran ko stump kiya Preethi ne. Preethi ne li Ashwin ki wicket aur Ashwin ka bhi go gaya Match FIX! Thumbs Up

Ahhh...what would I have done but for my Stress buster...the one and only INDIA TV! Shocked

But for it I would have been brooding over the sagging sales figures of my Business operations..., cursing myself for eating plain Rajma-Rice just because I forgot to bring home the Sunflower oil and butter as I drove home...and would have lazed around thinking stuff all negative!

I went down cheerful, brough oil, juice and butter, made some nice Gobhi ki sabzi Tongue as well and had a dinner sporting an ear to ear grin!LOLTongueSmile

THANK YOU INDIA TV...adore you!HugPartyDay Dreaming


If you like above kind of crap, you might as well check out these crappier fun  threads in Bolly section:Tongue

1.      The Real Dirty Pictures- Tere Waaste Maine-

2.      Chummi Hashmi, Khujli Bhatt, Funny Leone & Turkey!

3.      Himesh Reshammiya & Lata Mangeshkar

4.      Koffee with Karan-Asin Thottu-KAMAAL & KAMAAL

5.      BARFI---So much like real life--Fun take on BARFI

6.      Tum Sabke Naam--Hum Ne Kiya Hai---Jeevan Apna---

7.      A Bollywood Party-Inside story!

8.      Gangs of Bollywood Khans-O SALMANIYA-HO SALMANIYA

9.      Gangs of Bollywood Khans- I am SRK & Whole World--

10.  Tujh mein BUTT Dikhta hai-Yara Main Kya Karoon? :(

11.  Bhojpuri Re-makes of Holly-Bolly Films!

12.  Mat Gira Re...Zameen Par...(18+ Please)

Edited by -Cruiser- - 24 May 2013 at 7:40am

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SalluTheUllu IF-Rockerz

Joined: 02 January 2011
Posts: 5463

Posted: 24 May 2013 at 6:23am | IP Logged
will read tonight;)
neha-rockss IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 13 January 2011
Posts: 40697

Posted: 24 May 2013 at 6:26am | IP Logged

Read all of it  NOW SleepyLOL

Cruiser title se zarorr shock de diya aapne LOLLOL

I agree on India TV being such an entertaining channel...we all keep discussing abt it on the usual thread...How on earth can they have Veena Horny Mallik as a cricket expert ROFL

Inka sansanikhez khulaasa  itna jyaada sansanikhez hota hai ki most of the times they misguide you and a few times dont make sense LOL

Lekin Hasna hoto India TV zarur dekho EmbarrassedLOL

Good post ...felt like @India TV home LOL

Ans- Yes its the BESTEST (if the word exists) Comedy channel ever LOL

Edited by neha-rockss - 24 May 2013 at 6:33am

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-GayabCat- IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 02 January 2009
Posts: 37996

Posted: 24 May 2013 at 6:32am | IP Logged
Havent watched tv
But OMG did they really do that Shocked
Kya zamana agaya hai *yawns*
BullsEye777 IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 11 November 2012
Posts: 19327

Posted: 24 May 2013 at 6:38am | IP Logged
You are kidding, right? If not, what kind of news channel is that...

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JollyRancher. IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 09 November 2011
Posts: 22121

Posted: 24 May 2013 at 6:39am | IP Logged
Obviously it was very funny... I love that line of yours 'Isko laga daala to life jinga lala' ROFL ROFL Tata Sky LOL
and seriously India TV is very hilarious... there headlines will literally make you roll on the floor laughing ROFL
Great work! Thumbs Up

Edited by ..Ashraa.. - 24 May 2013 at 12:22pm

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-Cruiser- IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 23 November 2011
Posts: 21614

Posted: 24 May 2013 at 6:43am | IP Logged
Originally posted by BullsEye777

You are kidding, right? If not, what kind of news channel is that...

Read their various this Vid..LOL

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-Cruiser- IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 23 November 2011
Posts: 21614

Posted: 24 May 2013 at 6:47am | IP Logged
INDIA TV indulging in Emotional Atyaachaar...Confused

News story on plight of KabootarsCry when Ajmal Kasab and group butchered innocents in Mumbai...

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