Fan Fictions
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Arhi SS : Khamoshiyan [ Completed ]

mints23 IF-Rockerz

Joined: 07 May 2012
Posts: 5690

Posted: 23 May 2013 at 12:52am | IP Logged


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vandana.sagar IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 20 May 2012
Posts: 32547

Posted: 23 May 2013 at 12:53am | IP Logged
Loved the dedication! 

Will comment...loudly soon! are a genius and you need to write a book! 

I loved how you gave us a treat of both their point of views on the same situation ...
I love the way you have described her state of mind, not only emotionally but also physically ...the part about her limp body and hair lacking lustre painted such a visual effect of her anguish and turmoil.
So intense seems her grief as she remembers all the times in the past where Arnav has humiliated her, given her pain and hurt her , the jibes the taunts but those times paled in comparison to her her present feeling of heart cries out for her and with her ! 

I love how she recollects the past...his flirting, his kisses nor his incomplete " farak padtha hai" her dilemma about letting him know about Shyam's truth..his forcefully marrying her...but this accusation had finally managed to achieve what all others in the past had not...her breakdown! 
I love how she suddenly realised that she was angry with him, anger and betrayal ...for his reasons for this marriage,...which was a result of his thinking of her as such a low person who would indulge in an affair with a married man and that too his sisters husband, the same family who she loved and considered her own, whose happiness she put above hers, that he did not consider her worthy of an explaination , to bother with her side of the story and chose to think the worst of her while trusting Shyam...betrayed by her own feeling for him...through all this she always loved him...even when she was trying to figure out his reasons for hating her, her tears and her sorrow, she did not when and how but yes she did know she did love him...

I loved that she can see the logic and facts inspite if her state wondering why he could not, did me not know that she was engaged to someone called Shyam? Her anger towards him totally justified for not even checking the facts before coming to his conclusions for which she has had to pay in so many ways...the disgust she feels for being the reason for the heinous crime he thinks her capable of committing ! 

I absolutely loved how the immense pain she felt just comes out by through her tears to a point where she is sobbing hysterical for everything's like a dam breaking ...finally. Her tears her only solace...So numbed by this pain is she, that she feels she feels nothing after a point! It was written so well, so much depth of emotions each word like magic creating this image to me of a Khushi who has finally given up, her spirit and soul broken. I wanted to run and hug her...
I love how she recollects the  past where she shared so many meaningful  moments with him...atleast meaningful for her...she questioned even those moments...they intense eye locks, his arms breaking her fall at so many instances, their moments during the wedding...the kisses...was it possible for him to think that all that was a pretence and fake? His possessiveness and his jealousy...which gave her hope were now reduced to nothing! 

His attitude and his behaviour making her sleep outside while he slept comfortably inside...and I loved how she feels he that he is obviously still sleeping cause had he been awake and his eyes open or he would have been able to see so vividly the ramifications of Shyam's actions! 

And yet through all this, she feels him the moment he comes close! But this time her body and mind are in sync and do not betray her and she feels nothing! So much so that when their eyes do make contact and she reads his emotions, those which would have earlier caused her grief, even those dont move her...
 It was so heart breaking to see her take out all the symbols of herself that she once put in the room , her body language suggesting the  contrast from the time she puts them up...
Leaving his room and him heart devoid of any life and empty! 

Arnav on the other hand, a product of circumstance created by his anger, his love for his sister and misunderstanding...he knew he had made the biggest mistake of his life and he knew from one look on her face that he had completely misread the situation of that night on the terrace and his guilt and regret for not acting more rationally...of not taking a more informed decision instead of coming to a conclusion in haste which had caused him to lose the love of his Khushi! 
He remembers the incident where he had to console, her after what now seemed her revelation of Shyam's truth..when she runs away on being introduced to him...suddenly he sees light ...I am glad you made him use his brains now  at least...I always missed that on the show...
I loved how he realises that he had wronged her badly and no amount of regret and apologises would redeem him, in his eyes! 

I loved how he realises her worth her selflessness her love and beyond everything her ability to spread happiness...which now he has destroyed all by one wrong judgment ! 
I loved how he introspects ...i love the feeling of fear he has..he is scared to even ask himself is worthy of her love, but he knows he cannot live without her and will do whatever it takes to win her back ...he realises that she has been the strong one all along, return for his behaviour she only gave him love...asking himself how he could have ever doubted his Khushi...surely he should she trusted her more than he did...she was pure! He should have known that what she stood for! 
He regrets all his actions, he just does not know how he will face her and how will he ever be able to ask for her forgiveness for all that he has put her through...he feels regret at crushing her dreams and aspirations ! 

I loved how he watched her remove the stars, the chimes and the poster and feel life being sucked out from him with each move...his shame and guilty written so beautiful I felt like I was watching the drama unfold in front of my eyes ! Take a bow! 
And finally when their eyes do make contact...he sees nothing! Her soul bare...her sprit gone and only silence and solitude left pretty much the same condition of his heart and life! 

It was just so mind blowing that I have go on and on...but seriously I just loved it...thank you for the dedication...! 
Oh and loved those poems meaningful and apt here! 

Edited by vandana.sagar - 23 May 2013 at 9:47am

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chitrajay IF-Dazzler

Joined: 07 August 2007
Posts: 3363

Posted: 23 May 2013 at 12:53am | IP Logged
That banner is so haunting, Mints
I shall read and then comment later...
Knowing you, this is bound to be fantastic as well...

Mints, what can I really say? You wrote what I wanted to see on the show.

Thank you.

I have been late in commenting, mainly because I really do not know what I can say in response to this beautifully expressed narrative.

Seriously, girl, for someone who claims to only like writing light-hearted romance, you rocked with the intense portrayal of emotions here! I loved the fact that you gave us an in-depth look at the emotional maelstrom that both of them must have gone through, during that scene. The incomplete feeling that I was left with while watching this particular episode is finally gone, after I read your version, Mints.

For a long time, after the show ended, I was unable to watch anything related to IPK. The lack of proper closure or whatever one might call it – I could not watch VMs, any scenes, let alone entire episodes, without feeling pain. It's only recently that I started watching VMs – but I still do not have the courage to watch episodes.

I have to confess - I couldn't finish reading KHAMOSHIYAN the first time, because I started crying. I had to pause and go back to it a few times, before I completed reading it. Each word and line was such an acute and sensitive glimpse into their inner thoughts. I felt their pain like it was mine.

Bien hecho! Brava, mi amiga!

I have written a tribute to your beautiful story and to Vandy for being the truly inspiring friend she is.
Posting it in another post - its too darned long!!!!!!Ermm

Edited by chitrajay - 25 May 2013 at 12:42pm

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abika IF-Rockerz

Joined: 16 October 2011
Posts: 5051

Posted: 23 May 2013 at 12:54am | IP Logged
mints23 IF-Rockerz

Joined: 07 May 2012
Posts: 5690

Posted: 23 May 2013 at 1:24am | IP Logged
Originally posted by chitrajay

That banner is so haunting, Mints
I shall read and then comment later...
Knowing you, this is bound to be fantastic as well...

Thanks Chitra!! Smile

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Dee_J IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 04 March 2012
Posts: 24099

Posted: 23 May 2013 at 1:25am | IP Logged
Wow! This was simply awesome!
I had lump in my throat while reading this!

You have described the state of their being so well!
I am gonna nominate this for Best Sad OS.

You should definitely continue in next parts :)

Edited by dj_arshifan - 23 May 2013 at 1:38am

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N0306 IF-Dazzler

Joined: 10 November 2011
Posts: 3940

Posted: 23 May 2013 at 1:35am | IP Logged
Beautifully written...:)

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raniluvsasr IF-Dazzler

Joined: 13 June 2012
Posts: 4064

Posted: 23 May 2013 at 1:40am | IP Logged

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