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How good girls should dress (Page 3)

bollyfreaky Newbie
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Posted: 20 May 2013 at 11:19am | IP Logged
Good girls, ahem never got to come across any here in delhi ! Lolz !
bollyfreaky Newbie
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Posted: 20 May 2013 at 11:19am | IP Logged
and cmon dress hasn't got anything to do with rapes ? What was the 5 year old wearing that provoked the guys to rape ?
zorrro Goldie
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Posted: 20 May 2013 at 11:23am | IP Logged
Originally posted by bollyfreaky

Good girls, ahem never got to come across any here in delhi ! Lolz !
Ever occured to you that good girls in Delhi may not have been interested enough in letting you come across them Wink LOL
enigmatic_zephy IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 20 May 2013 at 1:30pm | IP Logged
Every occasion demands a certain decorum so ya as far as I am concerned, I would follow that.

But equally important is ( in light of increasing rape case), one should be aware of where one is and how one is dressed because best bet is self prevention ... we don't have control on others' motives.
So, ya don't take unnecessary risks.

If someone should comment on others dressing - mostly no. But if someone does overstep the sentimental boundaries, I think its fine to point it out - ONCE.

Does clothes dictate our personality? - NO!..they are one tiny bit of it as your choices are very much part of your personality.

Bottom line: Whatever you wear, if you are able to wear it with confidence and not end up insulting a society's culture .. then everybody can go to hell...you anyway can't control the perceptions.. LOL..let others deal with their problems...


Edited by enigmatic_zephy - 20 May 2013 at 1:33pm

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Posted: 21 May 2013 at 8:12am | IP Logged
Originally posted by -Doppelganger-

Originally posted by Summer3

 
Yes Dress whichever way suits the occassion for girls. I do like elegant dressings.
But try not to dress such that it invites too much male attention. One can become a victim of something undesirable like molest and rape !
 


@bold
Do you mean to say that all men are potential rapists?Tongue A woman wearing a short dress can turn on any man right?
 
 
I have commented on this topic before and I remember many ganged up against me and some later used my post to abuse me as well. However I am sticking with it. Summer ie right.
 
Sure there are incidents where men behave like animals and where a dress DOES NOT drive rape or molestation etc. Some such incidents like 80 year old/5 year old are examples. Its nothing to do with dress there. I have suggested a punishment for such people. Please refer to that topic.
 
However the nature of the crime is such that we cannot put all onus on police etc and say well we should be allowed to wear skimpy dress, run naked and then still not get attention which can lead to rapes etc. Every country, every place is different. To reject this suggestion that dress is not linked to such incident is wrong. We are not acting regressive but practial.

Just yesterday I was waiting for the bus and there were three boys (well one was not a boy) and a girl passed and one of them checked her back side for a while. I was monitoring his behavior. She was in tight dress. Be practical. Stop living in utopia. There are people who go into violence and are triggered by such things. Sure there are those who dont need a trigger.

Ideally i agree with the point that dress should not matter. Even if a girl is naked it should not matter. However is this world ideal? Even in developed countries like US there are incidents of rape. Dressing properly and keeping environment in mind will NOT prevent you from that however being careful always help.

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Posted: 21 May 2013 at 9:23am | IP Logged
Originally posted by King-Anu

 
I have commented on this topic before and I remember many ganged up against me and some later used my post to abuse me as well. However I am sticking with it. Summer ie right.
 
Sure there are incidents where men behave like animals and where a dress DOES NOT drive rape or molestation etc. Some such incidents like 80 year old/5 year old are examples. Its nothing to do with dress there. I have suggested a punishment for such people. Please refer to that topic.
 
However the nature of the crime is such that we cannot put all onus on police etc and say well we should be allowed to wear skimpy dress, run naked and then still not get attention which can lead to rapes etc. Every country, every place is different. To reject this suggestion that dress is not linked to such incident is wrong. We are not acting regressive but practial.

Just yesterday I was waiting for the bus and there were three boys (well one was not a boy) and a girl passed and one of them checked her back side for a while. I was monitoring his behavior. She was in tight dress. Be practical. Stop living in utopia. There are people who go into violence and are triggered by such things. Sure there are those who dont need a trigger.

Ideally i agree with the point that dress should not matter. Even if a girl is naked it should not matter. However is this world ideal? Even in developed countries like US there are incidents of rape. Dressing properly and keeping environment in mind will NOT prevent you from that however being careful always help.


We have disagreed on this before, and I will continue to disagree with it vehemently.

 

Every human being is equipped with a sense of morality and decency. Every human being is capable of knowing where to draw a line. Of course a man who sees a woman in a revealing outfit maybe turned on. They may ogle a bit. However, at the same time a man knows that she must be treated with respect. Maybe he can flirt a little and try to ask her out. But he has the morality and decency to know that he shouldn't tease her, harass her, grab her or touch her. He has the morality and decency to know to back off if she says no.  Society expects that morality and decency out of every man.

 

However, when you say that clothes incite rape you take the onus of morality and decency away from the man. It is no longer his responsibility to remain moral and decent. It says that if the girl wears a revealing dress she is loose and immoral so you need not bother with your morals. It generates a rape culture that women who dress a certain way are "asking for it". It creates a society like India where sexual harassment and rape is rampant and instead of addressing the crime people are more concerned about why she wore tight jeans, why was she out late, why did she have a few drinks too many.  

 

As long as Indian men and women hold the notion that clothing is responsible for rape and that the onus of safety and responsibility is on the woman – India will continue to be the hot bed of rape and sexual harassment. If we are to become a better and safer society then the men and women have to take a stand that rape has absolutely nothing to do with the victim. It is 100% the rapist's fault and responsibility.

 

Rape and sexual harassment is not unique to India. It happens all across the world. Even in the United States we have rape cases like Steubenville. The difference is that it in India society would say – oh she dressed like a s**t and flirted with the boys, she drank too much and passed out amidst boys. Rape is bad, but you have to admit most of it is her fault. You can't just blame the boys if the girl is so provocative and careless. But at least majority of society and the court said firmly – enough with the s**t shaming and excuses. The boys are 100% guilty and there is absolutely no doubt about it.

 

The world can and never will be perfect. But that does not mean you don't change it. Society has had many forms of discrimination and harassment throughout history. But we didn't just stand aside and say the world is not ideal, you have to deal with things the way they are. People stood up and changed the way people saw things. This difference between India and most of the world will always be the attitude towards women in society.


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enigmatic_zephy IF-Sizzlerz
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Posted: 21 May 2013 at 10:10am | IP Logged
Originally posted by return_to_hades

Originally posted by King-Anu

 
I have commented on this topic before and I remember many ganged up against me and some later used my post to abuse me as well. However I am sticking with it. Summer ie right.
 
Sure there are incidents where men behave like animals and where a dress DOES NOT drive rape or molestation etc. Some such incidents like 80 year old/5 year old are examples. Its nothing to do with dress there. I have suggested a punishment for such people. Please refer to that topic.
 
However the nature of the crime is such that we cannot put all onus on police etc and say well we should be allowed to wear skimpy dress, run naked and then still not get attention which can lead to rapes etc. Every country, every place is different. To reject this suggestion that dress is not linked to such incident is wrong. We are not acting regressive but practial.

Just yesterday I was waiting for the bus and there were three boys (well one was not a boy) and a girl passed and one of them checked her back side for a while. I was monitoring his behavior. She was in tight dress. Be practical. Stop living in utopia. There are people who go into violence and are triggered by such things. Sure there are those who dont need a trigger.

Ideally i agree with the point that dress should not matter. Even if a girl is naked it should not matter. However is this world ideal? Even in developed countries like US there are incidents of rape. Dressing properly and keeping environment in mind will NOT prevent you from that however being careful always help.


We have disagreed on this before, and I will continue to disagree with it vehemently.

 

Every human being is equipped with a sense of morality and decency. Every human being is capable of knowing where to draw a line. Of course a man who sees a woman in a revealing outfit maybe turned on. They may ogle a bit. However, at the same time a man knows that she must be treated with respect. Maybe he can flirt a little and try to ask her out. But he has the morality and decency to know that he shouldn't tease her, harass her, grab her or touch her. He has the morality and decency to know to back off if she says no.  Society expects that morality and decency out of every man.

 

However, when you say that clothes incite rape you take the onus of morality and decency away from the man. It is no longer his responsibility to remain moral and decent. It says that if the girl wears a revealing dress she is loose and immoral so you need not bother with your morals. It generates a rape culture that women who dress a certain way are "asking for it". It creates a society like India where sexual harassment and rape is rampant and instead of addressing the crime people are more concerned about why she wore tight jeans, why was she out late, why did she have a few drinks too many.  

 

As long as Indian men and women hold the notion that clothing is responsible for rape and that the onus of safety and responsibility is on the woman ' India will continue to be the hot bed of rape and sexual harassment. If we are to become a better and safer society then the men and women have to take a stand that rape has absolutely nothing to do with the victim. It is 100% the rapist's fault and responsibility.

 

Rape and sexual harassment is not unique to India. It happens all across the world. Even in the United States we have rape cases like Steubenville. The difference is that it in India society would say ' oh she dressed like a s**t and flirted with the boys, she drank too much and passed out amidst boys. Rape is bad, but you have to admit most of it is her fault. You can't just blame the boys if the girl is so provocative and careless. But at least majority of society and the court said firmly ' enough with the s**t shaming and excuses. The boys are 100% guilty and there is absolutely no doubt about it.

 

The world can and never will be perfect. But that does not mean you don't change it. Society has had many forms of discrimination and harassment throughout history. But we didn't just stand aside and say the world is not ideal, you have to deal with things the way they are. People stood up and changed the way people saw things. This difference between India and most of the world will always be the attitude towards women in society.



I think you are reading too much into King_Anu's post.

From what I understand, the point is not of who is wrong or right, or who is responsible ( Hell, the basta** who does it will always be the filth) ... But, the point is on self prevention.

Given you live in a land full of mosquitoes, You can try to protect yourself from mosquitoes but all the prevention will not guarantee that you will never catch dengue infection. And a person who has nothing to do with cleanliness may never catch dengue. But statistics says that a cleaner place has lesser chances of attracting mosquitoes ( read - yes avoid unnecessary risk as far as possible). So a person has two choices: either he lets go of everything and leave it on God, that I will be what I am and if a mosquito bites then we will see...OR..he keeps his home clean or take other preventive measures, if nothing else, to at least as a cautious step.

BUT, this does not in any way undermine the most urgent thing to do...attack the source of moasquito and cleanse the colony of them - whatever the measure. Also, mosquitoes may or may not have conscience..you can't place a bet on your life over an assumption that whether the mosquito will choose to listen to its humanity / conscience or not!!!...


Every girl has a right to live her life the way she wants. And yes, because she wears certain clothes doesn't make her any indecent. But there are lecherous sick psychopaths out there... and our society has failed to take measures for centuries now..WE FIGHT, ofcourse we will fight but until some genuine steps are taken, one does need to take self-protection seriously!!!!

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Posted: 21 May 2013 at 10:14am | IP Logged
There was a saying read it somewhere:

Does your God create rapists?
Or does your God chooses to not intervene when a rape occurs.
That's the difference between me and you,
If I could stop a child from getting raped,  I would.


( Don't remember exactly, but quite powerful words .. for those who believe in god that rules every movement in the universe)


Edited by enigmatic_zephy - 21 May 2013 at 10:14am

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