Originally posted by maha2us
This is a broad topic and an important one also. I can tell here what I know.
We know that arranged marriage is the one which is arranged for us by our elders. In the case of love marriage, I love someone and marry her.
I would say even in arranged marriage, its very important to be at least attracted to the other person before marriage.
Before going into the points I mention, one thing I have understood. Choosing the correct life partner requires some maturity and sustaining the marriage also calls for becoming more mature and understanding and responsibility. Just because someone is very much romantic, does not mean he/she is a good partner.
If you need to be mature to choose a life partner, guys will never get married (sorry no offense) and girls will never get married coz they can't find a guy who is as mature as they are!
On a serious note, I think its important for a person in a marriage to be willing to become mature, understanding and take up responsibility when they are in a situation.
Why was arranged marriage working for some centuries in our country? That is because during that period, anyone could be assessed as the suitable partner based on looking into certain things and the parents who are more experienced in life than ourselves could find the truths in this area in a better way. And because of this reason, marriages worked also.
Marriages worked then, 'coz people had no other option.
But that was in a static society. During the 21st century, the society is changing fast and the youngsters of today live with a lot of stress. Males don't have secure jobs and they expect their wives to work. Parents are also finding themselves insecure when they have to have employed DILs. They feel they lose their son because he gives more importance to his wife. And because parents become insecure they also make choices at times which the son may not like.
Marriages are better now, 'coz no one has to suffer. Working women don't need anyone's support to survive after a divorce, as long as you don't get affected by the wonderful insults people say about you and your family for no fault of yours!
Thus there are many variables to be considered. But then in this situation, I would say love marriage is the better option. Why? After marriage, the two partners are going to work hard to adjust with each other and if they could find some understanding things always is better.
IF parents stay out of the equation. Unfortunately marriages in India still include families and not just the two individuals. Sure, get into a love marriage, but make sure you are going to do anything to support your spouse .. and face the drama that your parents put on that you don't love them!
And this becomes more important because during this era, parents are not well-equipped to find the suitable partner.
True, but parents are more willing now to let children interact before asking them to make a decision about marriage. I think its important for parents to not make their kids get married young .. they need to understand that even though its important for women to have kids early, its important for girls to be mature enough to understand what kind of man they want to be married to.
And one point to be noted here is love does not mean what one sees in the movies.
Well there are movies that are realistic.
Both the persons have to be practical and find out what they look for in life and how one person can help the other person. Marriage is all the more important because marriage gives opportunity to become a more loving person. Marriage is sacred because there is unlimited opportunities a person has to improve his/her qualities of being a more caring, compassionate, gentle and tender person in the society.. And above all once married the marriage should not be treated lightly.
The only reason a person can leave the marriage if one finds living with his/her partner is unsafe. Otherwise both the partners must work hard to save the marriage.