Blast from the Past Thread #11, pg 135, epi 132

connecting things

by  samin6

• After Khushi got engaged Arnav said to Anjali, "Khush nehi hain to Sagai kyun ki, koyi zabardasti thi kya, jise pyaar nehi karti, jiske saath reh nehi sakti uske saath sari zindagi kaise bitayegi" As if he knew that Khushi loved only him, can live only with him, had dreamt to spend the rest of her life with him only so the only reason she would agree to marry someone else would be if she was forced. She was forced, so true, by her bua, by creepwa and by her own heartbreak. At that point she had accepted that she had died. I think her agreeing to marry Shyam was one point I did not agree to her, because she had the choice to share her misery with them, that she loved Arnav and though he had got engaged she could not. But she could not give her inherent goodness. It sometimes I think is tiring to live with someone whose virtues are higher then your own. However, in the dream world of love when reality intervenes the pain is excruciating and at that point I guess her heart had died.
  

• When Arnav said," Maine tumhare pasand ka set Lavanya ko de diya - hope tumhe koyi faraq nehi padta," that line reminded me of the gloating Arnav was showing with his eyes when he announced his engagement to Lavanya.  It seemed he wanted her to react and reclaim her right, however at the same time knew she would not. When he said tumhe to laga hoga ke tumhari zindagi ban geyi.

• When Khushi said, "Sapno ke duniya mein rehna hi accha hain Lavanya ji, kyunki Aasli duniya mein sirf dil toot-te hain," she in her dream world was married to Arnav and even happy although he was comparing her to Delhi's autorickshaw. And in reality she got Arnav who broke her heart by getting engaged to Lavanya, and telling her that for him love had no meaning, and gloating over her broken heart. When Arnav closed the door leaving the GH and Khushi jolted on the sound - made me remember - yes asli duniya mein - in real world the heart gets broken, and no one hears that and it is even obscured by the sound of a slamming car door. The crying afterwards echoed when Khushi told him, "Hum jaante hain ke hamare hone na hone se aapko koyi faraq nehi padta."

• After Payash get together on the hill top and ARSHI look at each other: It signified that they also wanted to get engaged to each other and say to each other, it carried the pain of what they had done instead - Arnav had announced his engagement to La and Khushi to Shyam. They had done for the happiness of their families. Arnav - to prevent the bickering of the guests and Khushi to make Buaji happy. However, at that they did not think they could trust either Anjali or Payal for whose happiness they had done could handle the truth of them loving each other. So they hurt and rejected each other. This however did not make their families and those whom they cared happy. Because Anjali thought - Arnav was giving him Dhoka and doing it in the heat of a moment. At the same time Payal was concerned that - "Tum soch to liya hain na Khushi." At the hilltop probably they were wishing that in DIwali they would have become happy if they had let their elder siblings maintain the duty of an elder sibling and share their pain. They probably were seeing for the first time first hand that if people find true love that makes the rest of the family happy too, not only giving in to the pressure of family members.

• In Payash Party after the Desi girl dance when Arnav said, "Sometimes - nehi hamesha hi tum mujhe hairan kar deti ho - Khushi Kumari Gupta," I was thinking of that reflecting his thoughts after Khushi came to give everyone sweets. When he said - he wanted to ask - "Are you upset because of your broken relationship which happened less then a week back," I was remembering how she was even more upset in the Diwali after Arnav broke her heart and probably that is what he wanted to ask he r- if she was upset after he broke her heart. When Khushi said - "Whenever you speak I am prepared for all the hurtful things you want to say, because you have not learned to say anything nice," It showed that  when she came out to get her batwa and spoke to him  in the car,  she had already prepared herself for a lot of hurtful things, however what he said superseded what she had expected to hear - when he said, "Tumhe to laga hoga tumhari zindagi ban geyi," and " Mere liye tumhari or uss baath ki koyi matlab nehi." When after marriage Khushi said, "Aap jante hain aapki bato se, aapke harkat se hame kitni chote pohchi he."  This echoed how his words and his action hurt her after he said those words.

• During Khushi's 101 ways to irritate ASR when Khushi said, "Jiss insaan ka dil patthar jaisa hon uske liye hum ek bhi aasoon nehi bahayenge - Isi ki layek hain na hum - isi dard ki to bardasht karne di jiye na - hume to isse bhi bari saza milne chahiye ( I am not going to shed a single tear for a person whose heart is of stone and according to you I deserve getting hurt so let me tolerate it - I deserve even bigger punishment). The pain Khushi had to tolerate when she was forced to get engaged to Shyam - probably she thought that was her punishment for loving Arnav and the pain she went when she was hurt physically by Arnav probably was nothing compared. She also has probably came to a conclusion in Diwali that Arnav's heart is made of stone and shedding tears as she did after he announced his engagement and told her - iss sab se koyi faraq nehi padta, was futile.

• In the Shaitan and Sundari episode - When Khushi described ASR, " Har raath Sundari ko sapne mein ek sundar sa Rajkumar dikhta tha, jiska swabhab bahut achcha tha, mitha bolta tha, sundari ka bahut kheyal rakhta tha. Karwate badalti sundari sirf usi ki khwab dekhti thi. Lekin har raat Rajkumar sundari ko ek sawal puch tha tha. Sundari ko is baat samajh hi nehi aati thi ki - shaitaan or Rajkumar eki aadmi the, jab Sundari ko pata chala to woh hairan pareshan huwe - ke yeh kaisa ho sakta hain- pal mein shaitan-pal mein Rajkumar, yeh dono ek kaise ho sake hain. Eki pal mein sukh dena aur agle hi pal mein dukh... kuch samajh hi nehi paaye woh." This  simply reflected how Khushi felt when Arnav broke her heart. He became a rajkumar when he came and gave her payal and shaitan when he told her he did not to want to hear anything from her. A rajkumar when he came after her because he knew she was upset from a broken heart and shaitan when he told her to get out. Rajkumar again when he came to return her purse and ask after her dad and Shaitan again when he told her - Yeh sabse mujhe koyi faraq nehi padta. So no wonder - Sundari could not understand.

• When after the storm of Khushi's attempted suicide, Arnav said " Kiss mitti se bani hain yeh," I was remembering like Ami and Indi how she had become extra chirpy after her heart broke. She was delivering sweets to everyone.

• When during Kidnapping Arnav said to Khushi, " Rona bandh karon - Khushi I love you." and when in the almost suhagraat said "I love you - dammit" It was as if he wanted to say the same when he saw Khushi crying. He also wanted to tell her - he did not believe in the rituals of marriage he did not believe in the rasms, to him the only thing of importance was his feelings.  I hoped he would console her when she cried listening of his engagement,"Khushi I am fine, please math roh, Khushi rona bandh karon, Khushi mein, Khushi mein tumko, Khushi I love you." Probably he was thinking of saying them when he went to look for her and told her to get in the car and because he could not come back and tell them again he was hurt after leaving GH in his car.

• During Telepathy dialogue  When Arnav said, "Khushi main jab bhi tumhari paas hota hoon hamesha tumse door jane ki jaldi mein rehta hoon, lekin jab bhi tumse door jaata hoon tumhari paas aane ki khayal rehta hain..." No wonder when he came close to kissing her - he hurried to announce his engagement in the next moment. But when she left he had to go to bring her close again. When in the car he told her to get out as if to hastily push her away and then when she left ,he came back to return her moneybag. When he was again close to her he again sent her away by saying that nothing makes a difference. During telepathy dialogues when Khushi said," Aap paas raho ya door, lekin ho to hamari saath hi na? Yeh dooriya hamari rishte ko kamzoor nehi bana sakti. kyun ki hum ek doosre ko sun sakte hain, mehsoos kar sakte hain - ek doosre sain baate kar sakte hain." So even in the worst of the times when Arnav had announced his engagement he was not with Lavanya and the rest of his family, but with Khushi, with his eyes he was following her every moment and was with her when he thought he needed her in the middle of the road crying. Arnav may be was far but still Khushi was feeling his presence when she conceded to getting engaged to Shyam. Maybe in her heart she knew their respective announcement to getting engaged to someone else did not have the power to weaken their relationship.
  

• After Arnav reminded Khushi of the contract marriage post kidnapping and Khushi said, "Jaise hum aapko bhul ne lagenge, hame yaad dilane ke liye aap hame taklif  pahuchayenge, dard denge, hamare dil torenge." It seemed she had forgotten that ASR was her Arnavji when she allowed him to come close. True to this "Hame yaad dilane ke liye aap hame taklif pahuchayenge (to remind me you will start hurting me) he went and told her he did not want to speak to her and did not need to give her an explanation. "Dard denge (inflict pain)"-- As he did when he announced his engagement and "Hamare dil torenge (break my heart)"- When Arnav told her his giving her back the payal and almost kiss did not mean a thing. In that dialogue it was evident most strongly Khushi's judgement of Arnav's character.

• In Khushi working 24 hours for Arnav and during Arnav back message when Arnav said, "Jab tum chup hoti hoon tumhari akhen sab kuch sach bolti hain - Khushi Kumari Gupta Singh Raizada," It made me think how in spite of her silence her eyes spoke volumes when he announced his engagement. In the same track Arnav asked Khushi about her payal and she said, "I know it belongs to your mother and you always wear it." This ironically made me recall, he told her- giving back her payal meant nothing. So Arnav bitwa if it meant nothing how come you remember that conversation to such a minute detail. At the same time was wishfully thinking - he would say her payal was beautiful after returning them, not - koyi faraq nehi padta.

• When Arnav came with all hope to take Khushi back home, Arnav said, " You cannot lie to me." It reflected his thought when Khushi said she was happy from his and La's engagement. When Arnav said,"Tum yeh sab hone doge, hamari shaadi aise khatam ho jane doge" and "itna easy hai tumhare liye, " it seemed as if he was remembering how easily she had recuperated and was distributing sweets after a major heart-break. When Khushi said, "Aap Humare yeh sab bato se  koyi matlab nehi." seemed like Khushi was speaking what Arnav had told on Diwali. When Arnav said, "Ok sure kuch discuss nehi karte hain sab kuch yuhin khatam ho jaane dete hain," it reflected why he came back to speak with Khushi. He probably wanted Khushi to tell him her feelings and them to discuss their relationship to stop it from breaking. However Khushi's reluctance and - hume in sab bato se koyi matlab nehi - made the exact opposite words come out and he broke her heart as if to punish her for not wanting to discuss their relationship.
  

• During the remarriage track when Khushi refused to leave the mandap even after buaji's insistance made me remember this diwali track and how far she had conceded to give priority to her love. During Diwali she did not even give the slightest indication that she was hurt with heartbreak by Arnav. She did not even try to exert her right over him as a person who loved him. She knew Arnav was not going to be happy with Lavanya because he loved her. However since the occasion was making the rest of the family happy she said nothing. She let buaji bully her to concede to getting engaged to Shyam even though she knew she loved Arnav. It seemed at that moment - because at that time she could not answer yes if Arnav asked her, "Bharosa nehi hain mujhpe."  She did not trust that Arnav had just announced the engagement in the heat of a moment. But during marriage - she had full faith in him and his love so she stayed put when the entire Raizadas and Guptas wanted her to leave the mandap, when even the fire went off. She in diwali could not stand her family bearing the disgust of her name written with Shyam and during marriage she cared more about her love for Arnav although her mother had just been humiliated by that Dadi in front of guests. No wonder - love did make her strong and trusting the person she loved gave her strength to believe in her own happiness and of course she knew being a sacrificial lamb once gave her and her family nothing except deception and heartbreak.

• Finally at the end of the Shitall track when Khushi wanted to leave Arnav and Arnav said "Tum chup chap chali jaoge sab  thik ho jayega. Khushi lets suppose ye sab sach hota to chor ke chali jati mujhe (If you leave do you persume everything will become the same. If all these were true would you have left me)?" it seemed as if he wanted to tell this to her when she fled the engagement scene after Anjali said, the mithai were made sugarfree for Arnav only. It seemed as if she assumed her silently leaving without saying anything to anyone after she could bear no more of the congratulations Arnav received for his eminent engagement would make everything Ok. And when Arnav said "Agar tum koshish bhi karogi to bhi hum alag nehi ho sakte - Arnav or Khushi Hamesha saath rahenge." I was remembering how hard he tried to get away from her in the Diwali episode and still he could not get away from her. That very night instead of thinking of his upcoming nuptials he was recalling his weakness when he almost kissed Khushi and put on her payal.