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Amita ka Amit OS Contest - Voting Closed

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hinz

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hinz

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Posted: 09 May 2013 at 5:35pm | IP Logged


Congratulations to Amita and Amit for winning the best jodi award and after that romantic dance and the compatibilty speech, its time for some honeymoon talk...


Well, we are talking about the recent OS writing contest that was held on the forum and we've recieved some fabulous entries...


Below are the entries and here's what you have to do


* Read (obviouslyLOL)

* Click LIKE on the post with the story you like best

* Vote for the BEST TITLE by posting your choice on this thread





Thanks to the paticipants for sending in their entries

Have fun reading !


-Hina-

On behalf of AKA Dev Team






Edited by hinz - 20 May 2013 at 4:57pm

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hinz

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hinz

Joined: 13 September 2005

Posts: 25680

Posted: 09 May 2013 at 5:37pm | IP Logged

Entry #1

 Tum bin...


Laying on the sand.. with  his eyes closed... busy listening to the chorus music of the sea waves... the sea water waves cooling his bare feet...

When he hears his name .. being called.. Amit.. Amit... Amit...

Amita: Amit... aap na kitne boring hai... aise koi beach pe aake... sota hai kya??? dekhiye naa... maine kitna acha Mahal banaya hai...

Amit: Amita.. tum kya choti bachi ho.. jo ret ka mahal bana rahi ho...?

Amita: amit... please... chaliye toh sahi...

Amit looks at the sand castle.. and says.. amitaji... zara is mahal ka naam toh batayiye...

Amita: Amishayan...

Amit; ye kaisa naam hai?

Amita: matlab.. amita aur amita ka aashiyana

Amit: hmm... acha hai... lekin bilkul tumhari tarah hai.. boring... aur poorani khayalat ke..

Amita; Amit... aapse kam boring hoon main.. and picks up sand and makes sand balls.. and hits him..

Amit running.. amita.. amita... sach me.. what is this amishayan... yaar... kuch acha naam toh socha hota..

Amita; hitting.. Amit... rukiye aap... ye aap thik nahi bol rahe hai... and holds amit.. and pulls him down...

Amita in the arms of amit on the beach... both share an eye lock... the sea wave. Hits them on their face.. interrupts their eye.. lock...

Amita is about to move her hair a side.. when amit stops her and moves her hand through her face...

Amit: pata hai amita... you are beautiful...

Amita; gives a shy smile...and says.. amit... aapko nahi lagta ke aap kuch zyada hi taarif kar rahe hai.. ye aapke.. seedhe saadhe character ko suit nahi karta...

Amit: kehna toh bahut pehle se chahta tha.. amita.. lekin... zuban par bat aaj hi aayi hai... and share an eye lock...

When another wave... interrupts their eye lock...

Amit; I love you Amita..

Amita: love you too amit...

When a wave hits... and amit... is completely... drowned...and he gets up from his flashback

Amit: wipes his face... but he has tears in his eyes...  and says.. i love you Amita... kaash aaj tum yaha hoti...

He gets up.. pulls his hat with him... and walks down.. the beach side...

Flash back..

Amit and Amita walking together on the beach.. hands in hands..

Amit: amita.. hamari shaadi ki raat yaad hai..

Amita: hmm...kaise bhul sakti hoon.. jab aapne.. ek dum gusse me aur pareshan hokar kaha tha... ke amita hamari shaadi ek samjhauta hai... hum dono.. sirf apne parivaar ke saamne pati patni ki tarah behave karenge...

Amit: smiles and says.. haan tabhi pata nahi than a.. ke tum jaise buddhu ke saath... pyar ho jayega...

Amita: acha... main aur buddhu ??? amit.. and hits him on his chest...

Amit: ouch amita.. yaha mat maarna.. yaha meri dilruba  rehti hai... usse chot pahuch jayegi...

Amita: acha... zara main bhi toh sunu kaun hai woh...

Amit; tum jaanti ho usse...

Amita; snehal?

Amit: nahi baba...

Amita: Neetu?

Amit: nahi..

Amita: mita?

Amit: nahi...

Amita; naina?

Amit: nahi amita...

Amita: toh zarur.. wohi hogi...

Amit: kaun?

Amita: wohi.. aapki pyari.. dulari...

Amit; kaun amita?

Amita; wahi.. champakali...

Amit: champakali...! naam hi yuk hai...

Amita; achha .. toh kaun hai woh?

Amit; woh.. jiska naam mere naam se juda hai... woh jiski smile.. mere hoton pe muskaan daalti hai...  looks at Amita who was blushing... aur... woh... jiski wajan ke wajah se mere dil ki raftaar... pe wt barrier aa gaya hai...

Amita: amit... aap ne mujhe mota kaha..?

Amit: arre lekin.. maine tumhara naam kaha liya...amita?

Amita: acha... rukiye aap.. aaj toh aapki khair nahi...

Amit: amita.. listen listen.. sorry... and holds his ears... and says.. sorry my love...

Amita: holds his ears.. and nods her head.. saying maaf kiya..

And hugs amit...

Amit: waise... amita... sab ke saamne hug kar rahi ho... woh bhi beach par...

Amita: apne pati ko hi hug kar rahi hoon... so sharam kaisi...?

Amit: acha.. toh.. phir ek kiss bhi de do..

Amita; amit... aap na bade besharam ho gaye hai...

Amit; acha.. khud gale lagao toh thik hai.. lekin.. maine kuch kaha toh...besharam...

Amita: shut up amit... and runs pushing him back wards... throwing sea water on his face... laughing

Amit: ruko.. main bhi.. and sprinkles water on her face...

When a small kid splashes water on his face.. and pulls Amit back to present day...

Amit; looks around.. its the same beach.. where he was with Amita.. and shared the beautiful moments with Amita.. their Honeymoon...

Amit goes to the room... the beach side room... he sits with towel in his hand drying his hair...

Flashback..

Amita drying amit's hair...

Amita; amit seedha baithiye na please... kitna pareshan karenge aur...

Amit: amita.. hum honeymoon pe hai... aur tum ho.. ke time barbaad kar rahi ho...

Amita; amit abhi time barbaad nahi kiya toh.. aapko sardi zukam ho jaayega... phir.. mat kehna.. ke maine warn nahi kiya...

Amit; bahut ho gaya amita... and pulls off the towel from her hand.. and pulls her close in his arm... and says.. aaj amit kumar romantic mood me hai..

Amita: kuch naya boliye amitji... jab se... aap ne... angry young man ka character peeche chod diya hai.. aap... bas ek hi avatar me paaye gaye hai.. romantic mood  me...

Amit: holds her close... nibbling her ear.. and says.. i love you amita...

Amita: lost in amit's breath..

When phone call interrupts...

Amit not in a mood to receive call.. but amita insists and frees her hand and picks up call.. and says..

Namaste mummyiji..

Falguni: amita beta.. Thailand kaisa hai..?

Amita: mummyiji bahut acha hai... aur yaha ke beaches bahut ache hai clean... and whispers.. amit.. please chodiye.. mummyiji ka call hai.. kya sochengi..

Amit: kuch nahi sochengi.. infact khush ho jaayengi...

Falguni: amit kaha beta? Jab se honeymoon pe gaya hai.. apni mummy ko bhul hi gaya hai...

Amita: yahi par hai mummyji.. ek minute deti hoon.. and screams in amit's ears...

 amit.. mummyiji ka phone hai... jaldi aayiye...

Amit: cleans of his ear.. and says... hello mummy... kaise ho aap..?

Falguni: amit... hum sab thik hai.. amita ka acche se khayal rakhna...

Amit; maa..  main toh uska bahut acche se khayal rakh raha hoon.. bas aapki bahu hi mera khayal nahi rakh rahi hai...

Falguni: kya hua beta?

Amit; maa kuch bhi maangu.. toh nahi deti...

Amita: pinches amit..

Amit: ouch.. maa.. aapki bahu naa... bahut violent hai... mujhe chutti kaat rahi hai.. taaki main uski complaint naa karu...

Falguni; beta zara amita ko phone dena...

Amit: maa tumse baat karna chahti hai...

Amita: tensed... hello.. mummyiji...

Falguni: beta... tum na tension mat lo... ye amit ki shaitaniyon se main waakif hoon... zyada tang kare naa... toh 1-2 aur chutti kaat lena...

Amita: smiles and says... ji mummyiji..

Falguni smiles and says... chalo main rakhti hoon... khush rehna..a ur enjoy karna...

Amita; ji mummyiji.. jai shri Krishna..

Amit: happy... that falguni scolded amita..

Amit; khilaya na daant...

Amita: haan.. pata hai mummyiji ne kya kaha.. ke agar amit zyada tang kare naa.. toh 1-2 chutti aur kaat lena.. and pinhes him again...

Amit; ouch.. amita.. ouch... stop it amita...

Present day.. while amit dries his hair.. his watch gets tangled in his hair.. and pulls it.. screams.. ouch...

He looks around.. and calls amita.. amita...

And lays down on bed... recalling all the moments he spent with amita...

And closes his eyes.. when tear rolls down his eyes...

When... a small girl comes in... calling...

Papa...papa...

Amit: Amisha... kya hua beta...?

Amisha; papa.. papa... woh puppy kitna cute hai na.. mujhe woh puppy chahiye...

Amit: haan beta... aapke liye na.. India jaake papa naya puppy leke de denge ok.. ab jao.. aur preeti chahi ke saath jaake.. baitho...

Amit sits on the bed.. wipes his tears..and recalls that fateful day...

Flashback...Amita  went to his office with tiffin box in hand..

Amita: knock knock... amitji.. amita chef.. aapke liye apne haaton se khana banakar laayi hai...

Amit: pulls amita in his cabin and drags her to the wall and says.. is chef ko toh.. swadisht khana banae ka inaam dena padega...

Amita: amitji.. aap abhi office me hai..aur aapke iraadon pe control kijiye... aapki shaitaniyaan... kamre tak hi seemit rakhiye...

Amit: haay.. kamre me.. hamri 1.5 saal ki amishaji.. jo aa jaati hai.. papa papa karte hue... nanhe nanhe kadmon se room me aakar... hamare shaitan irradon par paani pher deti hai...

Amita smiles and says.. aap par jo gayi hai... and pulls amit's tie and says.. baithiye,.. yaha aur khana kha lijiye...

Amit: haan abhi aaya... and is about to open tiffin box

Amita: when amita hits his hands and says rukiye..apne haath dhokar aayiye jaayiye...

Amit; arre.. mere haath saaf hai amita...

Amita; nahi jaayiye...  aur haath dhokar aayiye

Amit goes out of his cabin... when he receives a call... on his phone.. and he goes out to balcony.. to speak to his client..

When Amita.. opens her tiffin.. planted with time bomb.. which blasts off..

Amit gushes towards his cabin... listening to the blast sound...

And finds.. amita covered .. in blood... trying hard to breathe.. she looks at Amit... and gives a smile.. brings her hand.. up... and takes her last breath... enchanting his name...

Amit; sits down.. then and there... with tears in his eyes... and screams..Amita...

Flash back ends...

Falguni.. runs to Amit's room...

Falguni; amit.. tum thik toh ho naa...

Amit hugs Falgun and says.. mummy... amita kyun chodkar gayi mujhe... kyun... kyun main usse us kamre me akela chodke gaya.. kyun maine tina kaaki, riya aur rohan ki harqaton ko andekha kiya.. kyun... and cries his heart off...

Falguni.. consoles amit and says.. beta... amita .. woh pari hai..jo hamari zindagi me aakar.. dher saari khushiyaan hume dekar.. chali gayi...  bas kuch saath hai toh.. toh uski yaadon ke palchin...

Amit in his room...

Looks out of window..

Flashback..

Amit: amita..vaada karo ke hum dono hamesha yunhi saath rahenge...

Amita:  vaada amit... main hamesha aapke saath rahungi... kabhi... bhagwaan na kare hum agar alag ho gaye.. toh apne dil par haat rakhiye ga.. aap ki har dhadkan me aap mujhe paayenge...

Present day,..

Amit closes his eyes and keeps his hand on his heart and feels amita.. standing near him.. holding his hand... smiling... which brings smile on amit's face...

When Amisha.. comes in... calling papa papa..

Amita signals through her eyes.. amisha... aa gayi...

Amit looks at Amisha and pulls her his arms and looks for amiita... but only finds.. wind blowing the curtain...

And the song plays in back ground...

juda hoke bhi tu mujhmein kahi baaki hai

palkon mein banke aansu tu chali aati hai

juda hoke bhi

 

waise zinda hu zindagi bin tere main

dard hi dard baaki raha hai seene mein

saans lena bhar hi yaha jeena nahi hain

ab toh aadat si hai mujhko aaise jeene mein

juda hoke bhi tu mujhmein kahi baaki hai

palkon mein banke aansu tu chali aati hai

 

saath mere hain tu har pal shab ke andhere mein

paas mere hain tu ujale savere savere mein

dil se dhadkan bhula dena aasan nahi hai

ab toh aadat si hai mujhko aaise jeene mein

juda hoke bhi tu mujhmein kahi baaki hai

palkon mein banke aansu tu chali aati hai

 

ab toh aadat si hai mujhko aaise jeene mein

yeh jo yaadein hai - 2

sabhi kaatein hai - 2

katado inhe - 2

ab toh aadat si hai mujhko

 Amit hugs Amisha.. with tears in his eyes.. and smile on his face... and says.. i love you Amisha...






Edited by hinz - 09 May 2013 at 5:42pm

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badam-chi-raniMayurnASYAMyInspirationz

hinz

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hinz

Joined: 13 September 2005

Posts: 25680

Posted: 09 May 2013 at 5:38pm | IP Logged

Entry # 2


My paradise

We were waiting at the airport to board our flight. Last few days had been very chaotic. I was torn between two extreme forces.Ouch On one hand, Amit was trying his best to cancel this trip. While on the other hand, my father had built high hopes from this trip. And how could I break my father's heart by revealing the truth about Amit's true intentions? Confused After all I was the one who convinced my father that once we go on our honeymoon things would improve between us. In my heart I knew that Amit would never treat me as his better-half. But I was also aware that he was a good man and an amazing human being.Smile

The moment we landed, I could feel the cool breeze on my face. The view around me was so magnificent, serene and tranquil that my worries took a back seat. All this lifted my spirits! Star We met our guide/driver, Arif. He was in his late teens. Once we reached the hotel, we changed and went out for site-seeing. When we were returning back, Arif received a phone call. He gave us a disturbed look and revealed us that some violence had erupted in few places in the city and that curfew had been imposed.Shocked We were confused and shaken. DeadArif suggested that we could take shelter in his cousin's place, as waiting in the car was not an advisable option. Amit gave me a hesitant look and reluctantly he agreed.  Our driver parked the vehicle and we started to walk towards the shelter. It was a small thatched house. We met his cousin who looked bit older than Arif. His cousin's wife was very pretty but bit shy. But their warm welcome made us feel at home. Everyone was bit tensed but none of them spoke a word about it.

After having our dinner, they offered us a small room to rest. I could not sleep, so went and sat in the verandah. It was a full moon day. But today it was looking even more splendid. It looked so captivating and mesmerizing.Star I could hear a trickling sound. In my tension, I did not realize that there was a crystal clear stream nearby. The moonlight made it look even more divine .I could also hear some crackling sound, I guess it came from the fire that was glimmering nearby. Suddenly someone wrapped a shawl around me. It was Amit. I gave him a feeble smile. Amit could sense my nervousness and anxiety. He came and sat near me. I skipped a heartbeat. It was a perfect blend of ecstasy and fear.Embarrassed Unexpectedly he started narrating his childhood stories (I suppose it was his way of soothing me!). He narrated, how he was an average and reserved kid. How Rohan was always the smarter one. How he sobbed when he came to know that he had to wear spectacles. How his cousin teased him and how his overprotective mother chased him away! Under moon's luminous rays, Amit looked so different. So attractive, handsome and charming.Day Dreaming  I too shared my childhood experiences. How Atul and I used to fight and how he used to protect me from the bullies in my school. We were not even aware how the time flew. Suddenly he took my hand, told me not to worry and things will be alright. I trembled under his touch. But I felt so secure with him. I really wondered what made Amit open up his heart to me.Pinch There is some mysterious magic in this air.

Next morning the host offered us fresh set of clothes. It was the Kashmiri attire. We had no other option but to wear it. After wearing that when I entered the room, Amit gave me a hard amused look but said nothing. I was quite conscious about the fact that he could not take eyes off me. And I was melting under his persistent gazeBlushing. We had our early brunch and finished all other chores. Our host asked us to take some rest. Amit could still sense my apprehensions about the worsening situation in the city. He came near me, asked me to be brave and not to fear. Suddenly he came very close, our eyes met for what seemed like eternity, or perhaps just a second or two in reality and he said 'Amita, you look absolutely stunning!!' Something stirred inside my soul and my stomach jolted and twisted in coils. I could no longer hold his gaze. A crimson color crept on my cheeks. And all I could utter was a single word 'Thanks'. Then he abruptly left the room and left me confused by his reaction.Confused This was so much unlike him. In some corner of my heart I knew that something had changed between us.Day Dreaming

After three days, our guide Arif came running to give us the good news that the curfew has been relaxed for few hours and that we could leave the city. We quickly conveyed our gratitude to the hosts and he safely dropped us to the hotel and then to the airport. Luckily we got our tickets confirmed and were waiting to board the flight. We said our final good bye to Arif, our true savior!Smile

Last three days had indeed been the most marvelous days of my life. Star Amit was no longer blunt or rude with me. His answers were no more in single syllables. We had warmer and longer conversations. He looked more relaxed, patient and comfortable with me. No wonder this place is called the paradise on earth. It had been my personal paradise too as it gave me a ray of hope for a blissful life. It gave me the man of my dreams. This visit had been like a breath of fresh air after the wedding. I was slowing madly falling for this man. BlushingSuddenly I felt someone was intently gazing at me. I gazed back and I found that it was none other than my sweet hubby. He chuckled as if he could read my mind. I could see a twinkle in his eyes and mischief on his face. Embarrassed I smiled back and closed my eyes, thanked god for giving me such a gentle and affectionate person as my better-half. I would surely cherish these memories all my life! Day Dreaming




Edited by hinz - 09 May 2013 at 5:40pm

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hinz

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hinz

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Posts: 25680

Posted: 09 May 2013 at 5:40pm | IP Logged

Entry # 3

Pyar Shaadi ke side direct effects!


After all rasam's are over..Amit and Amita in their room...

Amit: Amita... hamari shaadi toh ho gayi... ab aage kya lagta hai.. aage kya hoga...?

Amita: mujhe kya pata.. mere liye toh aage ki life.. bhi.. question mark hai... jaise... Aapki baarat aayegi ya nahi waise...

Amit: Amita tum phirse us topic ko lekar shuru ho gayi... main point is ... main aaya toh sahi naa...

Amita: haan... officially thank you kehna bhul gayi thi... main.. ehsaan jo kiya aapne... mujhse shaadi karke..

Amit: haan.. itna chidke kyun thank you bol rahi ho... waise it's ok...

Amita: totally... shocked to hear Amit's response.. huh!

Amit: it's ok hi kahunga na AMita... welcome kehne ke liye.. tumne so called mere zindagi me entry toh kar di hai ... toh phir phirse welcome kyun kahu??

Amita: aap se na koi bhi baat ki umeed karna... bekaar hai...

Amit: umeed kis baat ki...? ab thank you kahogi toh.. it's ok.. hi kahunga.. naa...

Amita.. irritatingly.. goes to wash room... sorry kehna chahiye tha jisse.. woh.. rudely.. it's ok.. bol raha hai.. aur main.. jhali... sorry expect kar rahi thi... Amita Patel... aur karo shaadi.. parivaar ke liye... aur ye taps...

ye taps.. itne saare... bilkul.. amit ke tarah hai... dikhne me ek ... lekin.. itne avatar hai.. ke asli amit ko pehchana mushkil hi nahi naamumkin hai... dhakkan kahinka... sorry.. respect dena chahiye na.. dhakkanji kahin ke...

and moves out.. of bath room..

Amita: Amit.. Amit...

Amit is on a phone call (cordless phone... ).. signals her to wait.. for a minute... and continues on call.. walking from one place to another... and Amita looks at him angrily...

Amita: walky talky kahinke... zaroor.. idea waalon ne inko dekh kar hi ad banaya hoga...  irritatingly.. looks at phone.. and removes... the telephone wire...

Amit: arre.. ye phone band kyun ho gaya.. hello.. hello.. phone toh charged hai... ye walky talky ko bhi abhi band hona tha... keeps phone on table.. and rushes to bath room..

Amita.. gets behind him.. and says.. hello.. Amit pehle nahaane main jaa rahi hoon...

Amit: no ways... itni der tumne time paas kiya amita.. aur ab.. no ways..

Amita: hello... Amit... time pass mera aapke wajah se hua hai.. aapse ek sawaal puchne ke liye maine... aadha ghanta barbaad kiya...

Amit: you are irritating... nahane ke baad bhi sawaal puch sakti thi na...

 Amita: Mahaan amit kumar ji aapke charan kamal kaha hai..??? and bends down to touch his feet

Amit: amita.. amita.. stop it..

Amita: nahi... amitji.. aapke sachem aapke charan kamal kaha hai...

Amit: AMita stop...

Amita: aur nahi toh kya... shower ka tap kaunsa hai ye nahaane ke baad sawaal puchu aapse...

Amit: tum yahi ruko... Amita... and shows her...ye waala hai... and opens tap... and amita gets wet..

Amita: Amit sirf tap kaunsa hai batane ke liye kaha tha... demo dene ke liye nahi... aapne ye jaan bujhkar kiya na...?

Amit: Amita... tumhe kis dhakkan ne kaha tha.. yaha khade rehne ko...?

Amita: giggles and says.. Shree Shree.. Amiyt Kumar ne...

Amit: recalls that he had asked her to stop.. and adjusts his specs and says.. haan toh.. tumhe.. bhi toh common sense use karna chahiye amita...

Amita: common sense haan?.. Amit.. enough... aap yaha aayiye...

Amit: kyun...

Amita: batati hoon naa... and opens shower tap and says.. dhakkan aap hai.. Amit... aura b kaha gaya aapka common sense..

Amit  gets wet under shower... tum na.. paagal ho Amita... you really need a psychiatrist...

Amita: haan.. haan.. aur aapke liye.. toh woh bhi kam pad jaayenge...

When... Falguni knocks.. door...

Falguni.. Amita.. Amit...

Amit: Mummy...

Amita: haan.. mummy.. ab aap jaayiye... aur mujhe jaldi tayaar hone dijiye...

Amit: jaldi karna.. tumhare wajah se.. abhi mujhe data khani padegi...

Amit mutters.. ye amita ke saath rehkar.. kahin mujhe sach me.. psychiatrist ki zarurat na pad jaaye.. and opens door...

Falguni:" Amit.. itni der kyun laga di darwaaza kholne ke liye?

Amit: mummy woh main...bath room me tha...

Tina: bhabhi... ab naya joda hai... thoda.. extra time toh lagayege na...

Riya: waise.. amit... AMita kaha hai?

Amit: bath room me...

Tina: after looking at wet amit...matlab.. dono.. ek saath...

Riya: controlling her smile...

Falguni: Tinaa... abhi abhi toh tumne kaha naa... nayi Jodi hai... Amit beta.. tumk dono... jaldi tayar hoke neeche aa jao... aarti tumhe aur.. Amita ko karni hai...

Amit closes... the door.. and mutters..amita kya kam thi.. jo ab... ye ghar waalein bhi kabhi bhi shuru ho jaate hai.. meri taang khichne... amit beta.. tu toh gaya...

When Amita comes out... drying her hair... with towel... she moves her hair in opposite direction.. and water drops.. fall on Amit's face...

Amit: irritatingly... Amitaaa... and looks at Amita.. and notices... a new Amita.. who was looking different than daily..

Amita: kuch kaha aaapne..?

Amit: haan.. nahi.. kuch nahi.. tries to look here and there and says.. main bath room jaata hoon...

Amita: toh jaayie na.. kisne roka hai aapko...?

Amit: goes to bath room.. gets fresh and comes ot.. and looks at Amita.. who was looking quite different again in saree.. in front of mirror.. after make up...

Amita: kya hua.. ? ab aise kya dekh rahe hai mujhe?

Amit : nahi... kuch nahi.. and gets ready...

In puja room...

Amit and Amita perform aarti together...

@ Break fast ...

Naani: Sambdhan ji.. aaj .. Amita ke chehre.. pe alag hi nikhaar hai na...

Amit: smiles and thinks.. chalo.. ye acha hai.. matlab mera ... thinking sahi tha.. amita aaj kuch alag hi dikh rahi hai...

Tina: haan.. baa.. woh.. aaj... Amit aur amiat.. saath... baath room... me.. ek saath... nahaaye... hum tum ek bath room me band ho...

When AMit coughs..

Amita comes from kitchen with Falguni and listens to only song... : ye Tina kaaki kya bol rahi hai... kahin.. unhone mera aur amit ka bath room ka jhagda sun toh nahi liya naa...!  waise bhi kehte hai ke deewaron ke bhi kaan hote hai... kahin.. ye kaaki ne apne kaan hi na hmari room ke deewaron me fit kar diye...

Amit: kaaki... paani paas karo please...

Riya: Amita.. amit ke liye paani dena.. tumhare paas hai... amit ki khaasi jaldi ruk jaayegi...

Whn AMita... drops water glass in a hurry

Falguni: Amita... Amit ko paani chahiye..aur tumne glass neeche gira diya..  beta tension leke kabhi kaam nahi karna chahiye...

Amit: gets up.. drinks water and says.. mummy... its ok...

Faguni: amita beta... yaha baitho... amit ke paas.. aur naashta karlo...

Riya: lekin.. kaaki... amita ki pehli rasoi...?

Naani: Riya.. woh raat ko bana legi.. pehle abhi kuch kha toh lene do...

AMita.. smiles and says in her heart pehli rasoi... vow.. and is about to have her first bite...

When Tina stops .. AMita...

Tina: ruko AMita...

Falguni: kya hua Tina?

Tina: bhabhi.. yaad hai.. jab rohan... aur riya... ki shaadi hui thi... tab...rohan ne riya ko khana khilaya tha..

Falguni: toh isme kaunsi badi baat hai...  amit bhi amita ko naashta khila dega...

Amit:  mummy... ye sab kya hai...?

Riya: waise.. amit hum bhi jaante hai.. ke filhaal tumhare dil me laddu phut rahe hai.. lekin.. don't worry.. amita kaategi nahi... tumhaare ungliyaan...

Amit: smiles and says.. haan.. thik hai.. and gives first bite to AMIta... and then second..

Amita: amit... aap itne bade bade mossels kyun de rahe hai...?

Amit: taaki tum mere ungliyon.. ko chaba naa jao..

Amita angrily.. acha.. and purposely.. bites amit's finger..

Amit: ouch...

Amita: smiles naughtily and says... sorry Amit... woh.. itna bada bite tha.. ke pata hi nahi chala..

AMit: it's ok...

Amit: whispers in Amita's ears.. tumne ye jaan bujhke kiya naa?

Amita:  acting innocent ...nahi amit.. sachi...

Amit: very funny amita...

When Amit's and Amita's friends.. join in.. and say Haay what a Kodak  moment...

Amita: aarti.. jigna... kaajal.. preeti.. and is about to get up.. when amit holds amita's hands.. and pulls her back..

Amit: amita.. mummy se daant khani hai kya.. hamare ghar me.. chahe jo bhi ho.. khana khaneke baad hi uthte hai...

Amita: oh.. thank you...

Falguni: arre.. tum sab.. sanjay.. batuk tum dono bhi.. kya baat hai... pehle bataya hota toh.. sab log ek saath naashta karte...

Batuk: nahi aunt.. phi raise...kodak surprise moment ka maza kaise loot te...

Falguni: aao baitho... naashta karo..

Batuk : haan aunt...

When Sanjay holds Batuk's hands and says.. aunt... hum abhi nashta karke aaye hai.. aur.. batuk double dieting pe hai.. khud toh control nahi karega.. isliye...

Falguni smiles...

Sanjay: aunt.. hum sab yaha.. amit aur amita ko... unka shaadi ka gift dene aaye hai...

Amit- AMita: shaadi ka gift!!!

Preeti-jigna- kajal and aarti together.. haan.. honeymoon trip to Kashmir...

Amit and AMita get up together...  Honeymoon...!

Falguni: Amit Amita.. tum dono... khane se kaise.. uth gaye?? Amit... Amita nayi hai.. use iss ghar ke rules nahi pata lekin tumhe toh pata hai na.. then how could you...????

Amit:  sorry mummy.. woh honeymoon sunke... kuch samajh nahi aaya...

Batuk: is baare me.. tum jaano aur amita... hum kuch nahi samjha sakte...

All laugh..

Amita: Amit... apna mooh band rakhiye.. please... aur embarrass mat kijiye please...

In room...

Amit tensed... is walking from one end to another...

Amita is having Cadbury...

Amit: amita... aap na ab bas kijiye.. ye aapka 4th Cadbury hai.. aise hi khate rahengi.. toh... ye.. ye...

Amita: toh kya??

Amit: jaane dijiye.. varna aap gussa ho jaayengi...

Amita: nahi abhi na aap bata hi diijiye...

Amit: amita... please aapse jhagda karne ka koi mood nahi hai abhi... is honeymoon ko lekar pareshan hoon

Amita: hmmm..

Amit: starts walking.. pata nahi.. shaadi ke baad... ye ab honeymoon kaha se tapak pada..

Amita: walking in opposite direction of that of AMit.. haan amit... aaj .. honeymoon... phir.. couple ke tarah raho...

Amit: baadme.. bacha expect karenge...

Amita: bacha.. aap... aap kuch bhi mat boliye.. ye honeymoon ki baat aap kaha se kaha lekar  jaa rahe hai...

Amit: arre main ye ghar waalon ki umeedon  ke baare me keh raha tha.. amita...

Amita: ghar waalon ke naam pe.. aapke..umeedon ke baare me mat batayiye... subah badi badi baatein kar rahe the... ke... shaadi sirf.. parivaar ke liye ki and all.. ehsaan jata rahe the.. an aaya na... aapke... man ki baat zubaan par...

Amit: oh hello.. tumse main ye sab expect bhi nahi karta.. waise bhi maine pehle hi clear kiya hai ke hum waise waale pati patni nahi hai...

Amita: toh apne... baton par ade rahiye.. ye.. aise.. kuch bhi topic mat start kijiye.. aur waise bhi.. main.. Kung Fu champion hoon...

Amit: acha.. amita shah...topic close ok.. aur waise.. ye Kung Fu waali baat kyun aayi.. tumhe kya lagta hai.. ke main tumpar...zabardasti...?

Amita: sochna bhi mat... amit shah.. aur waise.. i am amita patel.. shah surname mujhe nahi lagana... abhi...

Amit: abhi kya.. kabhi mat lagana... meharbaani karna... please... yaha par shaanti se sochna bhi allowed nahi...

Amita: oh hello..

When.. there is a knock on the door...

Amita opens.. door in full anger...

Falguni: amita beta... tum dono ki aawaaz upar taka a rahi hai...

Amita: woh.. baat amit ne shuru ki..

Amit: nahi mummy.. baat amita ne shuru ki...

Amita: amit.. honeymoon ki baat aapne shuru ki...

Amit: haan lekin.. romance ki baat tumne...

Amita: bache ki baat aapne ki amit...

Falguni: laughs and says... shhh.. amit amita... mere hi samne ladne lag gaye tum dono...

Amit: sorry mummy..

Amita: sorry mummyiji...

Falguni: its ok.. lekin.. beta... acha laga  ke tum dono bache ke baare me abhi se soch rahe ho.. waise bhi ..amita beta.. tum ghar ki badi bahu ho.. aur is ghar ko pehla waaris tum hi dena.. chalo.. good night...

Amita: bacha ... waaris... and looks at Amit...

Amit: adjusts his specs... and wipes his sweat.. and says.. main.. jaa raha hoon... guest room me.. soneke liye.. kyunki.. naa mujhe honey chahiye na moon.. aur.. naa hi... bacha vacha...

Amita: Amit... and closes door...

Both go to sleep...

Amit thinking...amita se shadi karke .. main toh phas gaya...

Amita thinking... pata nahi.. kis ghadi me.. dhakaanji ke saath shaadi karne ka faisla karke phas gayi...




Edited by hinz - 09 May 2013 at 5:41pm

The following 3 member(s) liked the above post:

MayurnASYAlily.lotus.rosygrintson

hinz

Viewbie

hinz

Joined: 13 September 2005

Posts: 25680

Posted: 09 May 2013 at 5:43pm | IP Logged

Good luck !

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

grintson

MayurnASYA

Goldie

MayurnASYA

Joined: 17 June 2010

Posts: 1542

Posted: 12 May 2013 at 5:13am | IP Logged
well done guys...Clap Clap Clap  great work..
had fun reading..and loved all the entries...
tum bin was so emotional and excellently written..Thumbs Up
and my paradise was short but nice..Thumbs Up
and Pyar Shaadi ke side direct effects! it was very funny and enjoyable..Thumbs Up
my vote goes to third entry...
hope to read many more OS's...Smile
and good luck to everyone

The following 2 member(s) liked the above post:

hinzgrintson

grintson

IF-Rockerz

grintson

Joined: 13 April 2013

Posts: 6862

Posted: 12 May 2013 at 6:20am | IP Logged
waaaoo.. so nicely written and b'ful detailing by everyone... 
and i liked the ENTRY 3 the most... love the nok-jhoks of A2... they shud nvr stop doing this... 

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

hinz

lily.lotus.rosy

IF-Dazzler

lily.lotus.rosy

Joined: 05 March 2013

Posts: 4210

Posted: 12 May 2013 at 12:07pm | IP Logged
All the three OS are excellently written.Clap My vote goes to the third entry, "Pyar Shadi ke side effects"! Its so entertaining!!

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hinzgrintson

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