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jinine

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jinine

Joined: 02 May 2013

Posts: 9

Posted: 02 May 2013 at 2:53pm | IP Logged
Hello everyone .. Im in a kinda complicated situation with my two year boyfriend ... We have been having lots of arguments lately and I found him quite inconsiderate towards me .. still we talked and used to sort everything out . Now the thing is that one of my family members died and I needed him to be here with me  but he was not . He is actually attending a wedding of his cousin who he hasnt ever met in his life and whose parents have been very cruel to him and never helped him out , in fact they snatched his belated father's property . He told me himself that he hates them but is goin to the wedding just because his mum wants to. My close one has died one day before the wedding and I had called my boyfriend for some moral support but he left me right there alone to help in the wedding preparations of his cousin and his mum didnt even bother to talk to me then. I felt hurted and I tried to talk to him about it , he told he was sorry but I still m hating the way he neglects me and im hating more and more his mum who I found always too attached to him and really childish . I mean she didnt even bother to ask me how I was ... She is goin to live forever with my boyfriend as she is completely depedent on him since his father passed away ( if myy bf goes out alone with his friends for some days , she will not even have her food ) and she keeps on kissing hugging him and doing everything for him even sometimes sleep on the same bed as him. I have learned to accpt the fact that I will have to live with my mother in law because I love my bf a lot but since my family member died and all this happened and she didnt have even a little consideration for me I feel liked distanced and very much hesitant to move forward with this relation. My bf still loves me and doesnt want to break up with me and tells me that he is helpless . Can you please help me out .. how can I solve all this ? or should i simply give up ? thanks for all your answers in adv

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tutu982

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tutu982

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tutu982

Joined: 30 January 2010

Posts: 538

Posted: 02 May 2013 at 8:16pm | IP Logged
Ah I can understand why his mom is too attached to her only son. I mean her husband died and your bf probably feels like he should be there for his mom in any way he can. 
You probably need him due to the situations you're gong through but he feels like his mom needs him the most. Remember at the end of the day, he really is sorry and he loves you. 
Talk to your man girl. Say what's on your mind to him. 

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jinine

Dexterkilaila

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Dexterkilaila

Joined: 16 June 2012

Posts: 17002

Posted: 02 May 2013 at 8:33pm | IP Logged
This sounds like a troll post. Why is your boyfriend's mother sleeping with your boyfriend in the same bed again?! Eh?You should make it clear to him that that is NOT normal and is completely unacceptable. If this post is true then I sense Oedipus Complex at work reverse or otherwise.Wacko

Edited by Dexterkilaila - 02 May 2013 at 8:33pm

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jinine

jinine

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jinine

Joined: 02 May 2013

Posts: 9

Posted: 03 May 2013 at 6:05am | IP Logged
Originally posted by tutu982

Ah I can understand why his mom is too attached to her only son. I mean her husband died and your bf probably feels like he should be there for his mom in any way he can. 
You probably need him due to the situations you're gong through but he feels like his mom needs him the most. Remember at the end of the day, he really is sorry and he loves you. 
Talk to your man girl. Say what's on your mind to him. 

thnks for your reply ... i did tell to him what was goin on about how i needed him n all but he is not able to talk to me everytym he calls me within 5 mins his mum lands up with his aunt and his mum start hugging him and telling tht she luvs her son etc ... i told him to go outside for sometym to talk properly to me .. but he told he is helpless and he cant ..i just feel like m the last thing he wuld do something for .. 

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tutu982

jinine

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jinine

Joined: 02 May 2013

Posts: 9

Posted: 03 May 2013 at 6:07am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Dexterkilaila

This sounds like a troll post. Why is your boyfriend's mother sleeping with your boyfriend in the same bed again?! Eh?You should make it clear to him that that is NOT normal and is completely unacceptable. If this post is true then I sense Oedipus Complex at work reverse or otherwise.Wacko

i did talk about it  to him he told tht he and his mom share a special bond as they live only both they have no other family members ... P;S : that was the tym he used to say he hated his fmily members for leaving him alone with no financial support and moral support .. 

tutu982

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tutu982

Joined: 30 January 2010

Posts: 538

Posted: 03 May 2013 at 2:42pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by jinine

Originally posted by tutu982

Ah I can understand why his mom is too attached to her only son. I mean her husband died and your bf probably feels like he should be there for his mom in any way he can. 
You probably need him due to the situations you're gong through but he feels like his mom needs him the most. Remember at the end of the day, he really is sorry and he loves you. 
Talk to your man girl. Say what's on your mind to him. 

thnks for your reply ... i did tell to him what was goin on about how i needed him n all but he is not able to talk to me everytym he calls me within 5 mins his mum lands up with his aunt and his mum start hugging him and telling tht she luvs her son etc ... i told him to go outside for sometym to talk properly to me .. but he told he is helpless and he cant ..i just feel like m the last thing he wuld do something for .. 

What does he mean he can't??? He needs to stop being a mommas boy. What's wrong with going out and meeting his own girlfriend? It seems to me he is making excuses or his mom doesn't want you and him together. His mom is creepyyy

AlwaysHisJaan

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AlwaysHisJaan

Joined: 03 May 2006

Posts: 3701

Posted: 03 May 2013 at 2:54pm | IP Logged
 I personally don't see anything wrong in that  because the society is that way only ... I have uncles whom I hate to core but out of respect to my dad I go, plus you guys are not married yet ... was he there for u once the marriage ended?
as for MIL well thats her son, It may sound weird but usually in this kind of situations mothers are very clingy to their sons and love to control them ...  if you do decide to continue with this relationship, you need to speak with the bf and mother ... you need to tell them both, what you are not comfortable with ... r u close to the mil does she likes you? if yes then maybe ask him or her about why she did not speak with you ... also marriage is a very auspicious occasion maybe she didn't wanted to jinx it by talking about death ... I know it seems like an excuse but she is an old lady even younger generations sometimes think that way ... I think communication is the key, she might be jealous of you ... you really need to set rules before you continue with this relationship, because what seems abnormal to you may be normal to them like you said they only have eachother so I m sure its going to be hard for the mother to accept you  ... I don't know what other problems you have with him, but u stayed with him for two years so there must be something that you admire or like about him, but if you think that you cant really tolerate the way he takes care of you then you need to look somewhere else ... you mentioned something about his mother sleeping in the same bed as him , I know it seems abnormal but I have seen married guy sleeping in the same bed as mother, (not at night times but in the afternoon for nap) you know my parents moved to a new place, at that time brother was married, he even had a kid ... my mom is big in size and has health problem, they didn't moved all the furniture to a new place, I went there to visit, it was around afternoon, my bro's room had bed because it came with the house, so my bro would actually tell my mom to sleep on the bed and he slept there too, obviously they had different blankets and it was in the afternoon and my sister in law never objected to it ... I guess it all depends on the situation, but your bf is very close to his mother, you really need to talk to him and see what he says ...  you cant continue a relationship where you have doubts and concerns for future

Edited by trupat - 03 May 2013 at 8:06pm

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