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-Aarya-

Goldie

-Aarya-

Joined: 02 November 2010

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Posted: 01 May 2013 at 7:55pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Gumrah...

Originally posted by -Aarya-

Originally posted by .Chanchan.

Take care of their parents in their old age?


Parents are always expected to provide the best care and facilities to their children,and most of them do..!  But is that kindness and care reciprocated by children, once they grow older? And in cases where children choose not to care for their elderly parents, should they be legally obliged to do so? Should a law be enforced to ensure parents are taken care of by children after adulthood.

Debate.


So what is the difference between parents taking care of children vs children taking care of their elderly parents?

As a parent,  it is your decision to have children so it is your choice to bring them into this world, hence your responsibility to take care of their needs and train them to be a responsible citizen. As a child, you never asked them to bring you into this world, your consent wasn't involved in your birth so caring for your parents in their old age all boils down to you as a person and your love for them.

To add,

Personally, i have been brought up with unconditional love from my parent,  who have worked around the clock to meet my needs and as a child, i can't wait for the day where i can give what  i have taken from them. I want to be given the opportunity to care for them in their old age and i know i can't provide or care for them the same way they have done for me. Been fortunate enough  to have parents who haven't disowned their crazy child like me so far! LOL.. So the least i can do for my parents is be there for them in their old age, when they need me. 


Just like children do not choose their parents, the parents do not choose the "type" of children they are bringing into this world...

And what about scenarios like
~ parents adopted the child
~ child is sick with a life threatening disease (financial burden?)

ps. I personally liked your "To Add," part :)



Edited by -Aarya- - 01 May 2013 at 7:58pm

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Gumrah..._Angie_FreshDaisy

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Gumrah...

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Gumrah...

Joined: 04 January 2013

Posts: 663

Posted: 01 May 2013 at 8:29pm | IP Logged
@Aarya

True, i have seen cases where exceptional parents, who have sacrificed their lives only to have children who are ungrateful or children who are simply a burden to this world and it is not because of poor parenting.  The whole parenthood is a risk process, you are at a risk of producing a bad offspring, however you are taking the risk so whatever result you get out it, you are accountable for that life that is born and it is legally your responsibility. 

I haven't been pregnant yet but a couple of years back, when a relative of mines fell pregnant, during her pre-natal screening and after all tests conducted she was informed her child will be born with an extra chromosome, basically down syndrome. She went down the abortion route for that pregnancy of hers, because she didn't want to take the burden of  a special child care, or the risk of her child being stigmatised for being different.  Personally i would have done the same also. 

You talk about financial burden and life threatening disease,  being a parent you are taking the risk. Bringing a new life to this world, you are taking the financial risk, and all the other risk associated with it.  Play with the number sensibly and only have as much as you can afford. Nothing beats me more than families who can barely feed themselves, have children to feed also. 

Personally, i would never adopt a child, i rather remain a barren or if my partner really insists foster a child or let him walk out of my life. I know adopting a child is something that is very noble but it is not for me, i will never feel like i am their true mother and don't want the  life long responsibility of a child who is not my DNA.  

From my post, it sounds like i am not much of a children lover LOL, yeah they are a hassle, but i want to experience motherhood so i am aiming for a maximum of one child Big smile, any other children i may have after my first, will always be the result of an accident LOL, hopefully not more than 2 accidents for me LOL. 


Edited by Gumrah... - 01 May 2013 at 8:31pm

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-Aarya-FreshDaisy

-bharti-

IF-Rockerz

-bharti-

Joined: 20 September 2010

Posts: 5705

Posted: 01 May 2013 at 9:39pm | IP Logged
Brilliant topic!  
But can care be forced?  Im wondering..    The parents are better off planning well in advance for their old age and generally good upbringing and setting good examples should instill a sense of duty in the children.  But incase of needy old abondoned adults the govt should step in to provide a viable option. 

maha2us

IF-Dazzler

maha2us

Joined: 29 October 2007

Posts: 2796

Posted: 01 May 2013 at 10:22pm | IP Logged
@Gumrah, You were really lucky to have nice parents and so naturally you will be inclined to take care of them in their old age.

As far the relative of yours, who had the abortion, can it be looked at this way? The child who is born would be taken care of only till he/she is eighteen yr old. Even till then what is going to happen, nobody knows. When the child becomes adult he/she has to take care of himself/herself in this cruel World. Will a person with down syndrome be able to do that? When my (deceased) wife was pregnant,  the neurosurgeons told the child born would have brain ventricle disorder and she could not take care of herself. as she grows up and the doctors advised us to terminate the pregnancy of my wife. She painfully agreed to do that but she was severely shocked. Six months later, she died of brain haemorrage.

@Bharti, What you said is good point.

Mishe

Groupbie

Mishe

Joined: 25 February 2013

Posts: 136

Posted: 04 May 2013 at 4:06am | IP Logged
No it should not because some children do not have a positive relationship with their parents, they may have been abused etc.

Mindbender

IF-Sizzlerz

Mindbender

Joined: 21 October 2008

Posts: 15873

Posted: 04 May 2013 at 12:17pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by .Chanchan.

Take care of their parents in their old age?


Parents are always expected to provide the best care and facilities to their children,and most of them do..!  But is that kindness and care reciprocated by children, once they grow older? And in cases where children choose not to care for their elderly parents, should they be legally obliged to do so? Should a law be enforced to ensure parents are taken care of by children after adulthood.

Debate.
Enforcing a law like that seems like something that Chinese(and the like) government would do.

Anyways, like most issues, enforcing such a law is going to have its pros and cons. Nevertheless, why exactly would one want to have a law like that?

So that parents are guaranteed care?

What kind of care?

Can legal binding really guarantee the emotional care to the parents which is of utmost importance?

What is better? Fake display of care or real display of antipathy? Umm...?Ermm


Xarina

IF-Sizzlerz

Xarina

Joined: 06 November 2011

Posts: 16371

Posted: 04 May 2013 at 12:58pm | IP Logged
From my understanding making a law decreeing that children should be obliged to look after their parents is not only unworkable but futile.  There is no standard template as to what is best for the care of the elderly.  Our ways and lives are far different now.  The extended family was an option but in many cases it may have been suffocating.  Not only for children starting out in their married lives but for the elders who were set in their ways and still dictated how the family ate, slept and worked.

The way I see it is not to expect your children to look after you but to make your own plans.  This way should your children do make arrangements to look after you then you know that it is done for love and respect and not a court order obliging them to do so.

enigmatic_zephy

IF-Sizzlerz

enigmatic_zephy

Joined: 16 June 2009

Posts: 16259

Posted: 05 May 2013 at 12:49am | IP Logged
Hmm.. Interesting..

Let's see..

Aren't parents legally, morally, culturally obliged to take care of kids? ..Sometimes parents don't turn out to be great parents ( abusive) .. and sometimes kids don't turn out to be ideal kids ( Tantrums, not listening)...

Society is an institution with sepcific functions and it needs to keep all its parts functioning inspite of the age of the parts..

Old people - no law would ever propagate shunning of a group..The truth is this segment does need support, there are health issues, economic challenges that they face, emotional needs which are more pronounced.. so yes, they need support..

Ideally, state should have plans in place.. because current lifestyles have changed drastically from the 80s-90s in developing economies and 50s in the developed economy..

Life is fraught with tension, extremely fast paced..no one has time for the other person because whatever little time all of us do have, we would want it to ourselves devoid of any duties, responsibiltiies, burden..

Atleast in India, sending parents to old age home, is considered wrong.. I do not think so..Infact it is better since they get company of alike..its better than being alone at home all day long..

Compulsory Financial support somewhat makes sense to me..As a kid if you were not taken care of , you may as well take 'similar good care' if you want revenge.. if you were in a foster home..you wouldn't be liable to following this law in the first place..

Old people, mostly are looking for some emotional connect, need to know that their family needs them..financial support is least one could do..

PS: If you are limiting the POV to support in the sense, compulsrily taking parents in the home.. then yes.. I don't think given today;s lifestyle, its the best thing for them either..

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