Posted: 27 April 2013 at 2:58pm | IP Logged
Maisyy OMG this is such AH-MAZING OS
really loved it a lot, every single thing was just Mindblowingly written I love the way you portrayed Omi,Avantika, Avi, Rukmini's feelings and thoughts as outsiders seriusly after JJ coming back and these four being alien to him and the buddies somehow or the other coming along gave me this thought, what are these four feeling and thinking and you have penned it down perfectly well I love the way you wrote about Avi and Omi finding themselves in RV and KD and on the first day itself they choose their right-hand man but then as days pass by they learn more about the 5 of them and the bond between them which is stronger than they could ever think of and the thoughts you have penned down of Rukmini and Avantika are just perfect as these two are the ones whom we have seen interacting with the buddies less, Rukmini not much bothered and Avantika's jealousy because of JJ, everything was apt with their character OMG Avi and Omi's opinion about Panchi damn that is just so cute and hilarious
Omi felt that she needed to have many toffees to calm down for just a little disruption made her go hyper.
Especially this one hahahaha i soo love this, MiChi And then coming to the car crash OMG really Brilliantly written The concern the panic striking on them, all the buddies coming together everything was written so aptly And i love the way the rest of the four came along together behind the buddies, its like trying to break them apart they somehow end up together, a bond that is pulling them all together too but they just dont realize that at all
Panchi was on the ground, her hand resting on Jaitley's shoulder as she seemed to be sobbing and he was stroking her head gently. Ranveer was on the other side of her, holding her hands and head bowed in gratitude. KD was standing behind him, giving reassuring taps on Ranveer's shoulder. While Piddi seemed to be wiping away tears from his eyes and Kiya was crouched in front of Panchi, tending to her leg which seemed a little bloody.
OMG seriusly this is written out just sooo AWSUM, the feel everything was just heart-touching and i love the way you wrote about their thoughts, what they saw and what they concluded in their minds and what they didnt know, gosh all those were just Brilliant and OMG the thoughts of each and everyone regarding the past was just so Ah-mazing
That the six of them still hadn't recovered from the accident Panchi had all those months ago. They didn't talk about it but they knew Panchi was now scared of crossing the road and had started to pet a illogical fear of the hospitals, where she knew her heartbeat had stopped for a while. Ranveer still had major guilt trips about Panchi's accident. KD still felt the wetness of Panchi's blood on his arms. Piddi more than once had nightmares about that day and Kiya knew that the pain of losing someone important in life is always much worse than it sounds. Specially when that person wasn't at any fault. And Jaitley? Let's just say he had the urge to break the very thing which caused his little Fluttering Angel even the slightest of pain because that's how protective he was.
I just love this part, just beautifully written especially JJ's thought its just Superb
And they realized - that they were on the Outside. They had always been on the Outside, living under the illusion that they meant something important. But ultimately, it was only one sided. For the Inside was much more powerful than they had fathomed it to be. And that didn't set too well with them...
I love the last part its just Mindblowing, the four of them feeling on the outside, their thoughts and really from past few weeks the same thing is going in my mind, what they actually feel and you have just put it out so brilliantly in words And no it wasnt a drag at all in the end, i Super-loved the end, all the thoughts you wrote out were just perfect, i was hoping for cv's to show something like this hehe and i so enjoyed it reading it all in the OS Its really Superb, and your writing is MashAllah just Mindblowing
Edited by sweetshine - 27 April 2013 at 2:58pm