The Buddy Project  Season 2 - Now in College

   

OS| On The Outside.. (Page 3)

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spicySugar..

Coolbie

spicySugar..

BollyCurry Screen Writer

Joined: 29 September 2008

Posts: 17333

Posted: 26 April 2013 at 8:11am | IP Logged
Originally posted by -3raser-

I have been watching TBP for the past few days just hoping to get a glimpse of our peaceful angel and for you to write an OS centric on her is so overwhelming at the moment. Honestly, that sad feeling of not being able to see Panchi was one of the driving force for me to write this at 3 AM LOL That plus the fact that idea had been in my head for far too long Confused

I like how you connected each person's feelings, from the old and new gang, and their perceptions on each other. I felt for every member of the gang, and the title fits perfectly because on the outside they seem to be perfect, confident and have a "who gives a damn" attitude but the inside is a tornado of emotions. Yeah, what is TBP without conflicting human emotions anyway? Embarrassed
 The way you wrote about how each one of them panicked trying to find their friend was beautiful and I was able to imagine the whole situation once again. Especially after you connected it with the previous accident...oh now I want to re-watch those lovely heart drenching scenes. UFf! That accident! It's so damn major! I dunno if the CVs will want to toy around with that in S2 or not it's something that I can't let go of so easily..

Also, my favorite part has to be when you described JJ wanting to smash whatever it is that hurt his fluttering angel. You did!? I was afraid I'd made it too cheesy Ouch

"Let's just say he had the urge to break the very thing which caused his little Fluttering Angel even the slightest of pain because that's how protective he was."

It was one line but it was so cute, I always wanted that the show had a scene where JJ becomes very protective over Panchi. Also, it was nice to see KD in the picture and his memories of flashback along with Kiya and Piddhi. Now that I read it through, I didn't highlight KD much. But the whole style was too hazy that I didn't know how to get into everyone's head without making all this a big mess!

I will probably re-read this because I miss Panchi like hell right now and just want her back!
But, I think it was one of your most unique and dramatic one shots! Panchi is back!! Embarrassed But yeah, go ahead and read it again. I'll probably have to proof read and edit it though, I see some mistakes here Tongue

Mais, become the creative head of TBP please because you personify these characters like you have created them. I dare say, better than the originals. OMG! That's such a MASSIVE compliment?! Shocked No man, I could never create characters like this. It's just that I remember the characters as they were introduced to us and I tend to ignore the path they treaded on, which I didn't like and instead just portray them as how I would've loved them to be. But must say, right now CVs are doing great job with them! Big smile

Thank you sooo much for this awesome comment!! Embarrassed


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spicySugar..

Coolbie

spicySugar..

BollyCurry Screen Writer

Joined: 29 September 2008

Posts: 17333

Posted: 26 April 2013 at 8:16am | IP Logged
Originally posted by NonComposMentis

Chalo, for once I'm not depressed...so was able to read it much more calmly, taking note of each and every word you wrote.
And for your numerous words, I have just one to offer you: Beautiful.
It was deep. It scared me a bit somewhere too and yet, I loved it.
Not to mention, it was pretty realistic, the way everyone reacted.
Its clear enough, Mais, what more do you want?
Though I must admit, having woken up at 3 am to finish my homework, I had to read it twice to get it, because I'm so woozy! :P
Does my comment even make any sense?
Ah, I almost forgot, my favourite line:

Omi felt that she needed to have many toffees to calm down for just a little disruption made her go hyper.

Damn, I love Omi! <3
He's such a bloody sweetheart...and I felt for Avantika here too...just like I felt for her yesterday.
I'll repeat, beautiful.
Mugs.


First, I'm happy that you weren't depressed! In fact, I'm so happy today (Ma Sha Allah) that I want the whole world to be happy!! Second, waking up at 3 to finish homework? Damn! I miss school now LOL

It's just that the style is very vague, too high on the pronouns that's why I had a feeling that it might be a little confusing for some Confused Glad that it wasn't Embarrassed

Omi and the toffee thingy HAD to be there! What's Omi without toffees? And the fact that she was first person he presented a toffee to...inni choti baat nahin hai! Wink

Thank you so much for this wonderful comment! Hug

spicySugar..

Coolbie

spicySugar..

BollyCurry Screen Writer

Joined: 29 September 2008

Posts: 17333

Posted: 26 April 2013 at 8:24am | IP Logged
Originally posted by coolpixie

Res:)
Unres!
There is always some clarity in confusion, and some silence in utter chaos and noise. Just like that, there is an innate brilliance in this os. PHILOSOPHICAL COMMENT?! I'm touched CryCry

The idea was great, and even though you felt the execution was lacking, it still was great enough to be called beautiful and enthralling. Thank you!! EmbarrassedI loved the fact you incorporated the real elements of the show in this os, it made it just that much more realistic. This idea has been in my head for too long! And personally, I'm glad it was shaped this way. Ab CVs want to bring back that accident again or not, I personally am pleased that I got to play around with it Embarrassed

I especially loved this paragraph in which you perfectly captured their actions after seeing panchi.

Panchi was on the ground, her hand resting on Jaitley's shoulder as she seemed to be sobbing and he was stroking her head gently. Ranveer was on the other side of her, holding her hands and head bowed in gratitude. KD was standing behind him, giving reassuring taps on Ranveer's shoulder. While Piddi seemed to be wiping away tears from his eyes and Kiya was crouched in front of Panchi, tending to her leg which seemed a little bloody.

Bang on! They all still remember that shock and pain they went through during panchi's last accident. Don't we all? Ouch

  And this line is just so capturing..

...for the Outside was a very scary place to be. And they wondered if they'd ever be able to on the Inside?

Sach bataoun? This line is very much personal to me...and to everyone I think, to some extent. We all are in one or another, on the Outside in some matters. Outside looking In...damn scary..

The beginning was very mysterious in a way as you started describing the situation and all of their relations with each other. I especially loved the vichi and michi discriptions..It was an intense start, and I liked how it led up to the news of the crash..and ranveer running while abandoning everything, kiya desperately trying to zip her bag..every detail was just so well placed. And then the paragraph about them still not recovering from the last accident, just for that paragraph alone I would say..Clap..You so skillfully captured the relationships of the old and new buddies while showing the inseparableness of the five royals aka jungless. This os gracefully showcased their inner emotions and turmoil with their instant reactions and worries when their buddy got hurt. I can still just go on and on pointing out each and every place I found to be brilliantly done, but I see no point because I feel like once you read this os, it is definitely going to be captured in your heart and I think that enough goes to show you how well done it was! Embarrassed

Sigh, you just did re..I honestly don't even know how to reply to this except chanting "thank you thank you thank you!" over and over again. Reading all these comments...i've never been more touched in my life due to my work ever before! Embarrassed

--special mention for your depiction of Jaitley, I can just see him sitting like that besides panchi, feeling hurt and fiercely protective at the same time...Beautiful depiction..

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coolpixie

spicySugar..

Coolbie

spicySugar..

BollyCurry Screen Writer

Joined: 29 September 2008

Posts: 17333

Posted: 26 April 2013 at 8:28am | IP Logged
Originally posted by --Akshu--

Maisy why do u feel that ur best works are not worth it?LOLLOL Ais baar I was only worried that it was confusing, not "not worth it" LOL
 
such a beautifully descirbed OS! thank you!
 
frankly the best OS u could ever write! You mean the best I've written so far? Could ever write bol ke dara tou nahin! Shocked
 
The way u described each person's emotions what was happening in their life,when new ppl eter what happens!
 
Avi,Omi thikig abt Panchi was to cuteee! MiChi/ViChi fans are crazy LOL Honestly, my intention wasn't to put any hint here Tongue
 
 
The mystery u kept at the start was superb!The urge of knowing that the peron thhey care foris fine or no!
 
Loved the y everyone was shcoked,cuz at that moment they just wated to know whether that person is fine or no...lved it Maisy!
 
Panchi it was...JJ saved her!I just loved that discription!
 
ad the best part was the Description of the Panchi's prev accident!
 
I mean wow loved the way u captured old moments old nightmares of her Accident!
 
the ending was beautifully descirbed girl!
 
you rock truely hats offfClap
 
for such an amazing OS!
 
Loved it Maisy as alwaysEmbarrassedLOL


Thank you so much Akshu!! Hug

spicySugar..

Coolbie

spicySugar..

BollyCurry Screen Writer

Joined: 29 September 2008

Posts: 17333

Posted: 26 April 2013 at 8:30am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Kesha1234

WOW! You actually analyzed whole TBP2.
God! How do you get the ideas in your head?
U gotta create a gallery for your TBP works.
Please! Do it, for me. please?
Loved the concept.
How you brought the past back was esome!
Keep writing, please.

Best,
Kesha


Lolz, buss Maula ka karam hai that I get ideas in my head...unlike what my English Teacher said, I really feel that ideas just fall in my head automatically and sitting down, forcing them to come via brainstorming doesn't work with me Tongue

Dunno bout gallery, but I'd hunt down all my TBP work and PM to you, kay? Embarrassed

Thank you! Big smile

spicySugar..

Coolbie

spicySugar..

BollyCurry Screen Writer

Joined: 29 September 2008

Posts: 17333

Posted: 26 April 2013 at 8:31am | IP Logged
Originally posted by blue_Orchid

Mais. . . .  .Hug Hug
This was I believe the best work of urs so far me
the character depth
the synch
the situation
the reactions
the invisible wall
the entire Outsider description!!!
it couldn't have been better than this
I remember our discussion on this topic n know that u've been toying this idea in ur mind since a while
but its actual execution in the form of this OS left me spellbound
every thing seemed so real. . . .
Kudos to u for this



You remembered that I had this idea in my head for so long? Embarrassed Aww! Rads! You're such a sweetie! Thank you for this amazing comment! Hug

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..Serendipity..

SilentSilver

IF-Stunnerz

SilentSilver

Joined: 09 November 2009

Posts: 31587

Posted: 26 April 2013 at 9:36am | IP Logged

OMG when on earth did you right this.
Ok just kill me now, way too many feelsStern Smile <3

reserved
-------edited-------

So from where should i start, just want to say that this was just so so AMAZING!!!  I mean just so beautiful <3
The conflicting emotions, the different perceptions have been portrayed so beautifully.
On the outside, they might appear to care a damm about each other, but deep down they do care.

Avi thought she just liked to keep everyone out of trouble. Which was troublesome for him.

Omi felt that she needed to have many toffees to calm down for just a little disruption made her go hyper.

^^ love the discriptions <3


That the six of them still hadn't recovered from the accident Panchi had all those months ago. They didn't talk about it but they knew Panchi was now scared of crossing the road and had started to pet a illogical fear of the hospitals, where she knew her heartbeat had stopped for a while. Ranveer still had major guilt trips about Panchi's accident. KD still felt the wetness of Panchi's blood on his arms. Piddi more than once had nightmares about that day and Kiya knew that the pain of losing someone important in life is always much worse than it sounds. Specially when that person wasn't at any fault. And Jaitley? Let's just say he had the urge to break the very thing which caused his little Fluttering Angel even the slightest of pain because that's how protective he was.

^^ THIS was so so damm beautifully written.



I would like more, but i just dont know what to write. Really there are no words good enough to explain how beautiful this was.
so just wanna say, Hatts off girl.Clap 


Edited by -BlazingWater- - 26 April 2013 at 11:16pm

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spicySugar..

NonComposMentis

IF-Dazzler

NonComposMentis

Joined: 04 January 2013

Posts: 2900

Posted: 26 April 2013 at 9:56am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Mais

Originally posted by NonComposMentis

Chalo, for once I'm not depressed...so was able to read it much more calmly, taking note of each and every word you wrote.
And for your numerous words, I have just one to offer you: Beautiful.
It was deep. It scared me a bit somewhere too and yet, I loved it.
Not to mention, it was pretty realistic, the way everyone reacted.
Its clear enough, Mais, what more do you want?
Though I must admit, having woken up at 3 am to finish my homework, I had to read it twice to get it, because I'm so woozy! :P
Does my comment even make any sense?
Ah, I almost forgot, my favourite line:

Omi felt that she needed to have many toffees to calm down for just a little disruption made her go hyper.

Damn, I love Omi! <3
He's such a bloody sweetheart...and I felt for Avantika here too...just like I felt for her yesterday.
I'll repeat, beautiful.
Mugs.


First, I'm happy that you weren't depressed! In fact, I'm so happy today (Ma Sha Allah) that I want the whole world to be happy!! Second, waking up at 3 to finish homework? Damn! I miss school now LOL

It's just that the style is very vague, too high on the pronouns that's why I had a feeling that it might be a little confusing for some Confused Glad that it wasn't Embarrassed

Omi and the toffee thingy HAD to be there! What's Omi without toffees? And the fact that she was first person he presented a toffee to...inni choti baat nahin hai! Wink

Thank you so much for this wonderful comment! Hug
Yess, oh I'm quite happy too today...God knows why..even though I have a test tomorrow...and a hell lot of workload...which means Imma be wakin' up at 3 again! :P
Yeah, I've been going to school looking like a zombie this whole week! :P
Na, I liked it, in fact, I enjoyed it...I seem to have developed a liking for deep stuff...with a bit of pain somewhere in it...
Omi <3 
Oh please, Mais, I suck at comments! Something about the never being able to openly express my feelings, I guess...but anyway, you liked it...so that's alright.

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spicySugar..

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