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Marriage problems in jus 3 months (Page 2)

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Dexterkilaila

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Dexterkilaila

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Posted: 20 April 2013 at 9:26pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Tamilwife

He has never had an honest conversation with her till date. He always jus likes to play games on his mobile. He only answers questions that too only ones tat r not too personal. He becomes very quiet if anything else is asked. She has sent several emails and text msgs to him coz he doesn't talk face to face. But he always replies he is busy at wrk and will come home and reply but never does. Finally he complained to his mom tat the wife is sending msgs and emails and disturbing him at wrk. He has no time to read her emails too. Even if he reds its a couple of days after it is sent. Even if they have a fight, he runs to his mommy rather than talk it out with his wife. She has no idea what to do.


Are you serious?! This guy has some serious issues with opening up. He is abnormally shy. And why does he run to mommy every time about his marital issues? ConfusedWho told him he was old enough to get married? Can they afford a psychologist? Perhaps, its time for him to see a shrink. I have never heard of anyone so shy.Shocked


I feel bad for the girl. Angry She should walk out of the marriage if the marriage counselor/ psychologist cannot help either. 

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Tamilwife

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Tamilwife

Joined: 19 April 2013

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Posted: 20 April 2013 at 10:48pm | IP Logged
The guy had no idea that the wife had told his parents abt not consummating. But I guess he would have realized it when his parents suddenly started giving a talk. The wife had already suggested seeing a doctor or a therapist prior to telling her parents. Being insecure he didn't respond to the wife to all er pleas. Frustrated, she told her parents. She would hug and kiss him but he wld nvr respond. It's not only abt sex. He would not even put his arm around her or hold her and. Now after a week since the condom incident she feels he needs to be angry at her so his parents won't pressure him. He has still not spoken a single word to her, even though she is the one who serves his food daily.
She feels he is shy, insecure and is hiding behind his mom now. Should she patiently wait for him to change? Which she realizes will take lot of time and effort. Or should she just leave him and forget abt him, not that he ever spoke a loving word in the last 3 months. She does not love him enough now to go thru living with him. She is sure he will only hurt her more.

Dexterkilaila

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Dexterkilaila

Joined: 16 June 2012

Posts: 17494

Posted: 20 April 2013 at 10:55pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Tamilwife

The guy had no idea that the wife had told his parents abt not consummating. But I guess he would have realized it when his parents suddenly started giving a talk. The wife had already suggested seeing a doctor or a therapist prior to telling her parents. Being insecure he didn't respond to the wife to all er pleas. Frustrated, she told her parents. She would hug and kiss him but he wld nvr respond. It's not only abt sex. He would not even put his arm around her or hold her and. Now after a week since the condom incident she feels he needs to be angry at her so his parents won't pressure him. He has still not spoken a single word to her, even though she is the one who serves his food daily.
She feels he is shy, insecure and is hiding behind his mom now. Should she patiently wait for him to change? Which she realizes will take lot of time and effort. Or should she just leave him and forget abt him, not that he ever spoke a loving word in the last 3 months. She does not love him enough now to go thru living with him. She is sure he will only hurt her more.


Well...in that case, this is a no brainer. It isn't fair that he is dumping all his issues on her and expecting her alone to adjust and make all the changes. This guy is a married adult yet he still cannot cut the strings from his mother's apron loose. He obviously has extreme dependency issues among other things. She should file for divorce. It seems like he will not change and if she sticks around waiting for him to change, it might take forever. She will only be wasting away her youth that way. It is better for her in the long run to leave this sourpuss of a husband and start over. 

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adesinewyorker

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adesinewyorker

Joined: 17 June 2013

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Posted: 24 June 2013 at 9:48am | IP Logged
I agree, it sounds like he's hiding something. I wouldn't rule out the possibility that he is gay. It doesn't make sense that a heterosexual man would not consummate with his wife of several months.

Even if he doesn't not go to counseling, it would be of great benefit to his wife to get counseling/meet with a psychologist on her own. It may give her more options to consider and help her find a solution.

Best of luck to her!

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