| Amitian of the Week # 3- Mmm... | - Page 2

1. Have you ever tried to do something you know you would be really bad at, what was it?

2. Why do 24 hour, 7 days a week (Including holidays!) Super Markets have locks on their door?

3. Why do Aliens abduct Humans if we are an inferior race?

4 Why are rat traps in the car-care section of my supermarket?

5.If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

6. When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?

7. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

8. Do blind people feel 'Love at first sight'?

9. Why is the meaning of life hard to find when you have a dictionary?

10. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car not called a racist?

11. Why do they cotton swab the guy's arm with rubbing alcohol before a lethal injection?

12. If a hen-and-a-half could lay an egg-and-a-half in a day-and-a-half, how long would it take a monkey with a wooden leg to kick all the seeds out of a dill pickle?

13. Why do we park in a driveway and drive on the parkway?

14. Why is the word "abbreviation" so long?

15. Why is there no "w" in "one", but there is a "w" in "two" and we don't use it?

16. How do you know when you have run out of invisible ink?

17. Why do kamikazes wear helmets?

18. Can you stake a vampire with an artificial heart?

19. How long is a piece of string?

20. What's the best way to UN-teach a child to put a plastic bag on his/her head?

21. Are shart* and skid marks** caused by the same thing?

22. At a movie theatre You are asked, " Hey, what are you doing here?"

23. Now that Microsoft is so big, should it be called Macrosoft?

24. You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes? Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

25. Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

26. Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

27. Why is the word dictionary in the dictionary?

28. Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

29. Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

30. Why is it that night falls but day breaks?

31. Why is it that only adults have difficulty with childproof bottles?

32. Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

33. Why is it that to stop Windows 95, you have to click on "Start"?

34. Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

35. Why is it you must wait until night to call it a day?

36, Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemonsWhy is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

37. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

38. If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

39. In court, why do they ask if you swear to tell the truth? If you're planning on lying, do they really think you'll tell them so?

40. Instead of wasting time hunting and cooking, why don't hunters just use flame-throwers?

41. If your car says Dodge on the front of it, do you really need a horn?

42. If you're a kleptomaniac, is there something you can take for it?

43. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

44. If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?

45. If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?

46. Why is it called a "building" when it is already built?

47. Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

48. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

49. Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

50.Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman's chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him?

51.Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

52. Why is it that famous people are always born on holidays?

53. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

54. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

55. Why doesn't the fattest man in the world become a hockey goalie?

56. Why don't they just make food stamps edible?

57. Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

58. Why get even, when you can get odd?

59. Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

60. Why is a boxing ring square?

61. Why is a women's prison called a penal colony?

62. Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?

63. Why is clear considered a color?

64. If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?

65. If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?

66. If you can wave a fan, and you can wave a club, can you wave a fan club?

67. If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?

68. If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? <

69. If you didn't get caught, did you really do it?

70. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

71. If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?

72. If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?

73. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

74. If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?

75. If Superman is so smart why does he wear his underpants over his trousers?

76. If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look like the way they do?

77. If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

78. If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?

79. If the product says "Do not use if seal is broken", how are you supposed to open it and use it?

80. If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?

81. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game," when we are already there?

82. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

83. Why do wise guy and wise man mean entirely different things?

84. Why do you feet smell and your nose runs?

85. Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

86. Why do you need an appointment to see a psychic?

87. Why does a dishtowel get wet when it dries?

88. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

89. Why does it take 15 minutes to cook minute rice?

90. Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin? 91. If I save time, when do I get it back?

92. If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

93. Why do tourists go to the top of tall buildings and then put money in telescopes so they can see things on the ground in close-up?

94. Why do we call something sent by car a shipment and something sent by ship a cargo?

95. Why do we kill people for killing people to show that killing is wrong?

96. Why do we need training bras? What can we teach them?

97. Why do we put shirts in a suitcase, and put suits in a garment bag?

98. Why do we say "a pair of pants" when there is only one article of clothing involved?

99. Why do they make scented toilet paper?

100. Why do they call it quicksand when it sucks you down slowly?