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ArHi Tales:Dhadkanein *Thread One* (Page 51)

moomin4455 IF-Dazzler
moomin4455
moomin4455

Joined: 08 March 2012
Posts: 4146

Posted: 14 April 2013 at 9:16pm | IP Logged
Brilliant take on a classic scene - I love the idea both of you have of writing about the show's iconic scenes!

Khushi is Shyam's sister? Arnav and Khushi both want each other...how long can Arnav hold out against Khushi's determination to make him admit that? Love Khushi's determination here...

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CheshireBilliEXPELLIARMUS

segad IF-Dazzler
segad
segad

Joined: 08 March 2012
Posts: 3601

Posted: 14 April 2013 at 9:25pm | IP Logged
questions up the wazoo on this one but will bide my time till you update

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CheshireBilliEXPELLIARMUS

LooneyLuna IF-Dazzler
LooneyLuna
LooneyLuna

Joined: 17 April 2012
Posts: 4213

Posted: 14 April 2013 at 10:25pm | IP Logged
I hated this dialogue in the show not because it led to arnav's negativity towards khushi. But mostly because it was freakin repeated in our faces 927361times. And like rani sahiba these 21 words have been ruined for me by IPK forever. Ok ok rant over.

This chapter was so perfectly written, with clues that have kept us on our toes! I feel like I am Sherlock..yup yup colossal overstatement.

The first part set the stage really well..I feel like his emotions stem from guilt like he made a mistake rather than her. Although it sounded awfully similar to how it played out in the show, you never mentioned what 'sight' met his eyes (cliffhanger Devi ki jai ho!) and 'how could he right this wrong'..making me feel completely different from how I felt then.

The second part ahhh how I love this khushi. The non-quitter. The fighter. Her story as a orphan so succinctly summarised. And the want we only know of from deeply analysing the rabba veys, is embedded so well here.

The third part arnav's quest with temptation on his wedding night. His never missin anything wali eyes! Aur the fact that khushi can manage to shock him. I absolutely love the stubborn streak. It reminds of the scene aaja piya where she doesn't give up..although this is way better, I mean this have us a kiss haha. Then ASR the bag of surprises he is..loved the scene that followed.

So Shyam is missing. Anjali is not a bichari but ASR is making her out to be one. ASR got injured on his job. Then the haq hai hamara..the ever so passionate khushi, this has a potential to sound s**tty, but it doesn't. Just like when they make pyaaar. In your distinct juhi style the three not even's and the she had no time to's that follow. And in true ASR style he leaves her again. Love how you brought in the terrace back to the sort. And then the shoving so characteristic of them, the anger and then the truth. Juhi this part was so so well composed.

So this brother abandoned his sister..and let her be an orphan? And what is ASR's profession turn to part 2 and find out more?

The rabba-vey urf dhadkanein bits:
Steadily made her way into his fantasies
She didn't really know him, in all the subtle ways a woman knows her man. - favouritest line yet.
The war for the heart body mind and soul of ASR
Discomfort in her untutored body..- dont know why that just sounds So profound lol.

Hitashi
Ps. Can we have the next part now? I am tired of eating sabar ka fal :(


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Manisha.CheshireBilliEXPELLIARMUSEccentrica

Manisha. Goldie
Manisha.
Manisha.

Joined: 20 July 2012
Posts: 2446

Posted: 14 April 2013 at 11:19pm | IP Logged
Thank you juhi for this wonderful story, concept and introducing me to another writer..I still haven't read her work but I can blindly trust your recommendation.
Apart from NB and you I haven't been following any other FF. But I do read what you guys recommend and it's worth my time.

Trust me juhi that dialogue and scene was definitely the most hated and I have loved your unique twist to the scene.

I am seriously amazed with the way you handle their intimate scenes. I mean you have described their love making in all your stories so far but each time it is worded so differently and aesthetically. 

Shyam manohar jha is her brother...that's like the big brother of all twists...
Now I not just look forward to this update but all stories...

Btw how many tales have u planned..

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CheshireBilliEXPELLIARMUS

LooneyLuna IF-Dazzler
LooneyLuna
LooneyLuna

Joined: 17 April 2012
Posts: 4213

Posted: 14 April 2013 at 11:46pm | IP Logged
Na mila arnav
Na mila kangaroo
Kya update milega please?

Ps there is a theory about this..as the number of my posts increase there lameness does too!

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CheshireBilliEXPELLIARMUS

CheshireBilli IF-Dazzler
CheshireBilli
CheshireBilli

Joined: 29 July 2012
Posts: 4190

Posted: 14 April 2013 at 11:51pm | IP Logged
Must I spam as well for an update Expel?

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LooneyLunaEXPELLIARMUS

vinu.sr Goldie
vinu.sr
vinu.sr

Joined: 30 August 2012
Posts: 2013

Posted: 14 April 2013 at 11:54pm | IP Logged
loving the concept...will comment after I read the update...

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CheshireBilliEXPELLIARMUS

lLoveYouHrithik IF-Addictz
lLoveYouHrithik
lLoveYouHrithik

Joined: 16 July 2012
Posts: 53766

Posted: 15 April 2013 at 12:04am | IP Logged
res

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

EXPELLIARMUS

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