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maha2us IF-Dazzler
maha2us
maha2us

Joined: 29 October 2007
Posts: 2936

Posted: 13 April 2013 at 8:25pm | IP Logged
@Baazigar: You have shown some news items from the media. It is definitely possible there is more violence against women in India than violence against men. Still violence is violence and every violence deserves to be given importance.
 
When the rape case of Nirbhaya happened in Delhi, everyone highlighted what happened to her. But a young man tried to help her against the offenders and was severely wounded. Nothing is heard of him anymore from the media. Why is the violence against him not important? Is it because he is inferior to Nirbhaya? Whatever is said, though one could say a lot about men being violent to women, men have also done great job protecting women throughout the period of civilization.
 
Do we have to believe that the Kerala miniister's wife told the truth? She is a doctor and could support herself. Her claims are she was being torutured for sixteen yrs. She could have just lived away from him. Probably she put up a false case trying to make her husband concede her hefty demands because she is greedy. The Kerala chief minister is forcing the forest minister to accept those demands. If that is the way a minister behaves any greedy woman could make demands like that. A common man will be too much pained if he has to part with hard-earned money for divorcing a harassing wife and getting rid of her.

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boreddamsel_Angie_

moomin4455 IF-Dazzler
moomin4455
moomin4455

Joined: 08 March 2012
Posts: 4146

Posted: 13 April 2013 at 8:30pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by maha2us

@Moomin: You say, 'Why do courts believe the wife rather than the mother or sister? Because often mothers and sisters collude with the male members of the family to abuse their daughter in laws especially in dowry related issues '
 
That means courts can believe the wife because in majority of the cases, mothers and sisters abuse the DIL. And so the court need not look into the merits of any case and just make a decision because  of what is happening in majority. Still my question stands, 'What kind of justice is this?'
 
Every case is unique and every human being whether it is male or female deserve to be understood and heard. Males and his family members also deserve fair hearing. And as far those women, who are able to work as doctors, engineers or MBAs or any other working woman, anyone can only laugh if she tells the court that she is being tortured by the family members of the husband.  All that she needs to do is take up another residence, concentrate on the job and put pressure on husband that the marriage would be continued if he prepared to stay with her where she is and telling him that what she wants to do is important for her. Good husbands understand what she says. This is in total contrast to taking the husband and his family members to the court and harassing them which nobody can accept. Probably if these women harassment laws were used by housewives and those who have low education and it these women tell in the court that the husband's family tortured her, what she says could have some merit and could be accepted. But then this issue became prominent because the laws 498a and DV act are (mis) used by women who are techies, doctors, PhDs and MBAs and others who can work.
 
Definitely everyone has right to fight for justice. But fight for showing your strength. But don't cry a victim, if you have means to help yourself.
 
Cheers,

OK I really don't know what to reply here. This issue is close to your heart and I completely agree that justice should be meted out on a case by case basis. But unfortunately this doesn't happen: when a precedence is set the courts are likely to be bias - not fair for the few cases which go against the grain, but true.

Are you saying that educated women abusing these laws is wrong but uneducated abusing said laws would be better??? Abuse of any law is reprehensible, but as I said, some cases are just seen in a bias light because many, many women in Indian families have been so publicly mistreated over dowry issues, or for other stupid  reasons. India is a patriarchal society so women are generally viewed in a more generous light - especially wives - because of such cases as @baazigar pointed out. 

Is this right in ALL cases where a woman has a specific agenda to malign her husband? No, not at all, but in general too many women have been through too much crap simply because they are female to not be afforded the benefit of the doubt in court.

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boreddamsel_Angie_

.Sandy. IF-Sizzlerz
.Sandy.
.Sandy.

Joined: 15 January 2012
Posts: 10480

Posted: 05 May 2013 at 4:09pm | IP Logged
I agree to this side today


infact women now a days is no longer bechari or abla naari 
i have seen and experienced it myself as well...now a days women cares less if they are getting divorced or their marriage can break.

i am MUSLIM AlhumduLillah...and near ALLAH SWT in all legals works Divorce is the one most hated one...

now a days women in houses are more dangerous then stupid politicans hell man they can do anything to get their motives done

infact we can see Ekta's famous K shows vamps inour houses lol

harrasing not just man in family but womens as well

ALLAH protect us all from such stupid womens

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Forever-KA

McNinja IF-Rockerz
McNinja
McNinja

Joined: 30 August 2012
Posts: 9180

Posted: 05 May 2013 at 8:14pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by sandy1

I agree to this side today


infact women now a days is no longer bechari or abla naari 
i have seen and experienced it myself as well...now a days women cares less if they are getting divorced or their marriage can break.

i am MUSLIM AlhumduLillah...and near ALLAH SWT in all legals works Divorce is the one most hated one...

now a days women in houses are more dangerous then stupid politicans hell man they can do anything to get their motives done

infact we can see Ekta's famous K shows vamps inour houses lol

harrasing not just man in family but womens as well

ALLAH protect us all from such stupid womens

There have always been conniving and manipulative  people around...men and women both. It's nothing new. 

And how vast is this experience you are referring to..about women not caring about ending a marriage? What about the flipside...divorces with valid reasons such as infidelity, abuse. negligence..what does your experience say about this? I'm assuming there is plenty of facts and data you have to back up the gross generalizations you're making. 

Most religions discourage from divorce, especially ones based on impulsive decisions but it's not marked as a sin like you're making it sound. Though I see no reason for your religious beliefs to be brought into this at all. 

It's not stupid people one needs to be protected from, it's people with some pretty regressive and oppressive ideologies that I hope to be protected from. It's usually them who make life hell. LOL

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boreddamsel

maha2us IF-Dazzler
maha2us
maha2us

Joined: 29 October 2007
Posts: 2936

Posted: 05 May 2013 at 11:12pm | IP Logged
@McNinja: What you said is balanced view. Thanks for your post. The point is every harassed person - both men and women - have to get justice. And when you say, 'It's not stupid people one needs to be protected from, it's people with some pretty regressive and oppressive ideologies that I hope to be protected from. It's usually them who make life hell.' That is the most important point which I want everyone to accept. That is the ideology of some of the feminists who force the Indian Govt: to make the laws which oppress men and the family.

Some of the feminists believe that, all the males are persecutors and all the females are victims and males generally harass the females. Yesterday one feminist claimed that 80% of the divorced women are homeless. Has she the statistics or facts to prove that? 

The important reason we want to terminate the gender biased laws like 498a, DV  etc. is the supreme court itself has accepted what is going on based on this law is legal terrorism. Only 2% of 498a cases and less than 1% of DV cases are found genuine. Thus we have a vast majority of -people falsely accused and find themselves in a lot of pain.Many of these cases are falsely made by wives just because they want to extort as much money from their husband and at the same time don't want to live with their husbands. Even though the husbands are innocent, they have to go to faraway cities to fight the cases which is waste of time, money and energy. How will the country progress if people have to live in this type of atmosphere?

What becomes true in this case is these laws which  probably were introduced to help the women who were oppressed to get justice has completely failed. In that case, what is the need to hold on with these laws? I know that there are women who are definitely harassed by husband and in-laws. But the needful has to be done which effectively helps them. The law must help innocent people but not those who extort.


Edited by maha2us - 05 May 2013 at 11:27pm

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McNinja

samvi. IF-Dazzler

Joined: 29 March 2012
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Posted: 07 May 2013 at 4:17am | IP Logged
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maha2us IF-Dazzler
maha2us
maha2us

Joined: 29 October 2007
Posts: 2936

Posted: 07 May 2013 at 5:47am | IP Logged
Sanvi, Whatever I say in reply would only be repetition. Can you answer me one question? Suppose your brother's wife charged him with false domestic violence, how would you feel? I had already said that even as I brought out the topic, I am not against women. Neither are those who fight for justice in this area. And because of the false cases, not only men but women are also not getting justice. A woman's cell accepts only what the wife says not what a mother or sister says or even a teenage girl says . The new law is going to affect not only the husband but also his mother or sister. Similarly, a wife never puts a false case all alone. Most of the time the persons who harass the husband are the wife's father or brother. Thus you can see both the sides have men and women. And more importantly, if men don't get justice, women also don't get justice. I know even cases in which a woman who slapped false cases against her husband, got false cases on herself when her brother's wife filed false cases against him and her ad their mom.

In one way these cases are also brutal because they break the structure of the whole family. There are more issues also here. what about the child born for them?

Comparison is not important here. What I said is only that these happenings also deserve publicity. Interestingly one married man commits suicide in every nine minutes in India.
samvi. IF-Dazzler

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Posted: 07 May 2013 at 8:17am | IP Logged
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