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Here is the interpretation to Section 4 of Part 19.
On their way home, when Arnav looked up at Khushi her face had a serious thoughtful look. It made him ask her what happened. She answered that she was just tired with a smile on her lips. Stopping the car in front of her house, releasing the door lock, he asked her whether she was sure that she was alright. She answered in a whisper yes and that she needed to go in. She wanted to unlock the door and slip in as quickly as possible as she knew the dykes holding tears had gone extremely weak at points and anytime soon stream of tears would be cascading down her cheeks. Arnav caught hold of her arm.
He enquired whether she really enjoyed the party. He asked her particularly their dance. She was a nervous wreck and said haltingly, yesand it was just that she was not used to staying up so late, her voiced trailed away unable to even think of an excuse. Arnav leaning towards her, smiled with a naughty twinkle in his eyes, and whispered in her ear, get used to it Khushi. Don't expect to have much sleep after they were married. Khushi paled further. The chasm between them, between knowledge and ignorance, widened. Lisaji's fiendish visage seemed to pop up laughing at her. Khushi pushing the door open leapt out of it. Hiding her face from Arnav, she hurried up the steps to Buaji's door. Retreiving the key from its hiding spot, opened the door with shaking fingers and moist eyes. Arnav who was watching her from his car, was amused by her vanishing act and beamed with joy. He felt good teasing her, but suddenly he felt uneasy. Why was she so silent? Why was she so very sad? Why were her shoulders stooping?
It was a posture that signified defeat and debasing oneself.
When even at ten in the morning Khushi hadn't come out, Buaji with her rotund figure, waddled into Khushi's bedroom. Khushi was still sleeping all curled up under her blanket with just the top of her head peeping out. Buaji invoking her favorite diety exclaimed that Khushi was still asleep! Calling Khushi by her nickname Titaliya she asked what was the use of welcoming a new year in at night when one is not even awake in the morning? But Khushi was silent and did not even move a bit under her blanket. Khushi's cell phone started to ring and Buaji calling her Sanka Devi teased her saying that the phone was crying early in the morning and she better feed it. But Khushi lay unresponsive. Muttering under her breath addressing her favorite diety, that she was Khumbhakarna's sister and not Payaliyaa's, Buaji picked up the phone. Seeing the name Arnavji displayed, Buaji commenting that this owl had woken up early! answered the call. She told him that, his Roopmati was snoring away to glory under her blanket and she would wake her up. While saying so she pulled the blanket off. Khushi was all shivering and had curled herself tight like a woolly worm. Buaji frowned and as she touched Khushi's cheek to rouse her, she jumped back in shock. She found her burning hot and exclaimed that she had fever and hollered out to Garima to get a basin with water and a towel as her Titaliyaa was down with fever.
Arnav's faint Buaji, made her realize that she was on phone and told him that Khussi had fever. Cutting her short he told her that he would fetch a doctor and cut the call.
Khushi felt that she was poked by a needle but was too tired even to react. With just a wince she fell into sleep. She did not see the man with anxious eyes hovering over her, adjusting the blanket around her, wiping with the cold towel her face and neck to reduce the heat. He sat by her throughout. She opened her eyes in the evening to see Arnavji sitting by her holding her hand. She deliberately looked away and it hurt to look at him. With a frown she wondered, what was he doing there? When she looked around she found that she was in her own bedroom and it to be evening. Her thought was he should have been in his office at this time. When she wanted to ask him she found that she couldn't, as her throat had gone dry and felt her the tongue thickened.
Seeing her awake Arnav whispered, Khushi, in relief and asked her how was she feeling? With a heartfelt relief, cupping her cheeks he kissed her forehead, conveying to her I comfort you. Though the fever had abated, her limbs had weakened. Muscles had no strength in them. She felt they were like logs of wood unable to shift.
When she wanted to use the washroom, she whispered so and asked him to call her Amma. But Arnav offered her his services and said, he would help her. Khushi tried to push his hand away but to her chagrin she found she was not even able to do so with her whole being weak due to the onslaught of fever. Her head was hurting and a night of crying and the fever had left her rheumy eyed.
He helped her to sit up by supporting her shoulders and leaning against him. He held her for a moment feeling the strong beat of her heart against his, taking comfort from it he stood up. Scooping her in his arms he carried her to the bathroom. Buaji and Amma, who were cooking a light meal for Arnav and Khushi were wide-eyed at the sight. Setting her down near the bathroom door, he helped her inside. She whispered that she would manage and hoped fervently that he would leave her alone and go home. Reluctantly, Arnav let go of her and Khushi taking rickety steps, holding on to the handle and walls, went inside while Arnav waited outside patiently.
After freshening up, Khushi came out to see Arnavji leaning against the wall. He quickly took her off her feet into his arms and settled her comfortably on her bed and covered her with the blanket tucking it around her. He asked her how she was feeling. She replied better with a hope that it would make him go away from her.
Arnav sat down by her and she asked what was he doing there? He countered her with a frown asking, where else would he be when she was sick? Her reply at the office was spoken with great difficulty as her eyes had started to droop with sleep. Arnav muttered that the office could go to hell and he didn't care for it right now. He dropped a kiss on her cheek, conveying to her that he would always be there for her. Her don't let Amanji hear you say so and he would get a severe jolt of lightning if heard earned her a smile and a kiss on her hand from him, by his action he conveyed to her that he adored her.
The three days, it took Khushi to leave her bed and stand up by herself, saw Arnav come early in the morning to Gupta House and stay till late at night by her side, monitoring his work with the aid of his laptop. While he was working, his eyes would linger on her peaky face that had taken the hue of white from her illness.
On the fourth day, she was up and was at the dining table when he arrived in the morning. Buaji was trying to make her drink a glass of milk laced with turmeric. He could see Buaji, in a battle stance, threatening Khushi saying that she better drink milk or else she was heading towards being whipped. Khushi refused it whining that she does not want to drink it. Arnav sliding to the seat next to hers said that he would give it to her making Amma, Buaji and Babuji smile with relief. Khushi sighed and thought Arnav would not budge if she didn't drink milk. If she drank it quickly chances of her getting out of the house was more and it would be better for her own peace of mind. She needed to think, think about Arnavji, about herself and about their future. But that was impossible with Arnavji hanging around. When Arnav lifted the glass to her lips, Khushi glared at him and refusal was hovering around her lips. Her mind suddenly registered that he was dressed to go to office and gave her silent thanks to her Devi Maiyya for answering her prayers. Finally she would be relieved of his constant presence. She realized that quicker she drank the faster she could make him leave.
With that thought in mind, to everyone's shock and Arnav's amusement she grabbed the glass from his hand, and gulped it down in a breath, making Buaji exclaim in the name of her diety, what was wrong with this girl? Garima was extremely happy and smiling at Buaji she said that Jiji, Khushi cares a lot for Arnav Babua going all sentimental. Khushi flashing her eyes with spears of anger at her mother and a beaming Arnav, bit her tongue from giving an acerbic retort. When Buaji asked him whether he was on his way to office Arnav replied that he was. She said that it was good. It was a miracle that he had not caught the bug sitting beside Sanka Devi for the past three days. With a frown she said that new year hadn't been good for her Titaliya. She had never been sick but how had she caught the bug at the party? Bitwaa, did she eat or drink something that made her sick she asked.
Arnav assured them that they were all together all the time. Looking at a silent Khushi he added that towards the end of the party, when she had been silent, he had asked her what was wrong but and he tapered off. Both Buaji and Amma nodded and all looked at Khushi for an explanation. She muttered that she needed to sleep and got up to leave the table. At Arnav calling her Khushi she urged him to leave her alone saying that she was fine and needed to sleep, making Arnav agree to her request with a nod.
This update is about BLINKERS.
I had explained long back what blinkers are but for those who haven't read it let me explain what it is.
Blinkers, also known as blinders or winkers, are a piece of horse tack that prevent the horse seeing to the rear and, in some cases, to the side. They usually are made of leather or plastic cups that are placed on either side of the eyes, either attached to a bridle or to an independent hood. They are usually used on race horses and driving team.
The term, in both "blinker" and "blinder" form is also used metaphorically to refer to people with an overly narrow focus or inability to see the larger picture.
Right now both Arnav Singh Raizada and Khushi Kumari Gupta are wearing blinkers.
When Arnav asked her what happened, she said she was tired. Even his repeated querries got him the same answer and it was, with Khushi not meeting his eyes. Khushi who was matching his step with her own had suddenly gone quiet and that should have given him an inkling. He should have known with Lisa, Pam and Sim in the party things were bound to be stirred up. He knew that Lisa's furcoat was spoiled beyond repair by Sim and Pam. But had he taken any action against them? No. He had let them scot free and the troublesome duo were not even in the know that ASR knows their wrong doing. This has led them to be bold enough to stir the hornet's nest. They used Lisa as their trump card.
Lisa on her part did what they expected and more. She had been bold enough to insuate that ASR and she had hots for each other. This should have been a warning to him. When a person would do so in front of him wouldn't she create a twister in the mind of Khushi who was not so worldly-wise. He should have realized that Lisa would not take things lying down.
When he dropped Khushi home after midnight, she told him that she was tired and was in dire need of sleep. His naughty retort Get used to it, Khushi. Don't think I will let you sleep after we are married
made him think that her behavior was natural to run up to her home due to her shyness, when in reality it was not so. Had he observed her well, he would have realized she had never run away from him but always moved a step or two away. Even when she knew that he would be kissing her she had stood her ground. Arnav in his euphoria had forgotten that she was not behaving true to her character. He has been seeing only what he wanted to see. It was as though he was wearing blinkers.
"What we see depends mainly on what we look for"
~ John Lubbock
He should have realized that she was showing signs of reluctance to his ministrations, though he did it with pure intention. She has turned away from answering his questions hiding under the mantle of being sick or need to sleep. He should have realized that something was amiss. But he had no such inkling.
That's why I said he was wearing blinkers.
"There's none so blind as those who will not listen"
~ Neil Gaiman, American Gods
Well, Khushi sporting a pensive face told that she was tired when repeatedly asked by Arnav. She made it a point not to look at his face lest she gave away that she was hurting. Though she was hurt, she should have realized that, was not she the one who would take bull by its horns and now she is just resigning herself to self pity, wallowing in self inflicted misery, giving in too insecurity by not confronting him? That, is a pity. Wasn't she the one who told Arnav that there might have been a different side to his parent's tragic story? When it came to his parents, she was open minded and for herself she has blinkers on.
Looks like she was giving credence to Lisa's story without hearing what Arnav had to say. By doing so isn't she giving power to Pam, Sim and Lisa in her life. That's why I say blinders is on.
"There are poisons that blind you, and poisons that open your eyes"
~ August Strindberg
On the three days she was sick it was Arnav who left his work and was by her side to see that she soon became fit. If as Lisa said he was after her for fun why would he spend all his waking hours by her side, when he had pressing matters to attend to at his office? Why would he be the one to nurse her back to health voluntarily, unless he was in love with her for keeps! Why would he carry her to and fro for her ablutions and wait on her? Why would he come to see her on his way to office, even on the day she got well?
She has cocooned herself in the misery that she let Lisa's barbs give. This was the girl who was known for her spunk and had never let anything bog her down. She had always risen above these things. But right now she is wallowing in misery and pity that is clouding her thinking. That is why I said she has blinkers on.
"The universe doesn't give you what you ask for with your thoughts - it gives you what you demand with your actions"
~ Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free
Unless she takes a right perspective of things she'll be unable to come to any decision. For that she need to remove her blinkers and confront Arnav with Lisa's truth, thereby remove Arnav's blinkers too as of right now he is clueless.
The other way is, if she is not forthcoming, Arnav should realize that things are amiss, get to the root as it happened midway at the party and help Khushi to remove her blinkers too.
For the time being blinkers are on.
That's why I titled this update BLINKERS.
"Your pain is temporary, and hope is never so lost that it can't be found"
That's it from me. Hope you enjoy it.
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