Qubool Hai


Qubool Hai
Qubool Hai

A Change of Heart: An AsYa SS: Ch6 Pg6: ON HIATUS (Page 5)

mochhug IF-Rockerz

Joined: 25 March 2013
Posts: 6201

Posted: 16 April 2013 at 11:27pm | IP Logged

Hey guys, 

I know this is a new SS, and that's why there aren't alot of readers, but for those who silently read. Please comment. Even if you have a critique. It;ll help me undertand how to better write future tracks. And I would love to hear what you think. Whether my track makes sense, what I could do differently or even what you don't like about it. Any feedback is good for me :) I want to get better, but can't do that if I don't get ALL types of feedback. Please let me know what you think :) I mean 2000 views, and 20 replies? It's a little odd haha 


Edited by mochhug - 18 April 2013 at 1:00am

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MisHumptyDumpty IF-Stunnerz

Joined: 31 July 2012
Posts: 26352

Posted: 16 April 2013 at 11:50pm | IP Logged
I swear i punch myself for not reading this awesomest piece. This is soo ahhmazing!
Please please please please pm me when you update the next. Ohh dont worry i will stalk you! Wink

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rennie Goldie

Joined: 07 February 2009
Posts: 2342

Posted: 17 April 2013 at 12:47am | IP Logged
liked this story...pls do add me to ur pm list...

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goingreen IF-Dazzler

Joined: 06 April 2012
Posts: 3638

Posted: 17 April 2013 at 12:49am | IP Logged
Just read all the parts I'd missed out on one shot! Very beautifully written, I look forward to reading more (:

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Rarepearl IF-Dazzler

Joined: 17 August 2012
Posts: 4107

Posted: 17 April 2013 at 1:42am | IP Logged
really nice. plz continue soon.

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daydream. IF-Dazzler

Joined: 06 April 2013
Posts: 3321

Posted: 17 April 2013 at 8:43am | IP Logged
Omg!!! I LOVED this!!!! Plz continue!!! Heart Tongue

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DMGFan-2b-not2b IF-Dazzler

Joined: 08 July 2009
Posts: 3209

Posted: 17 April 2013 at 10:54am | IP Logged
Hey nice story! Waiting to read the rest!
mochhug IF-Rockerz

Joined: 25 March 2013
Posts: 6201

Posted: 18 April 2013 at 8:59am | IP Logged
Hi guys! So this next part will be the last one for a few days, as I have to focus on school this week. But I will make time to write the next part, if this one gets more attention. I should update sometime this weekend! 


Chapter 6: History Repeats Itself

Zoya was trembling. Tears were unwillingly streaming down her face as she tried to hide it. Great. Now I'm crying in front of him! Akram... why did he have to bring him up? She had gone weeks without thinking about that whole fiasco. She didn't want to live in fear of Akram, but in the back of her mind, she did. A small part of her was afraid that he might try something again. And as always she put up a strong front and pretended she was okay. But she couldn't anymore. 

Once again Asad's fists began to form. He had made her cry. But how? By bringing up his name? Maybe she does still... No. Why would she? 

"Ms. Farooqui, are you ok..?"

"I- I'm- I'm fine, M-, Mr. Khan." she managed between soft sobs. 

Asad sighed. He got up, walked up slowly to the right side of the bed and sat in front of her. He started to reach out to dry her tears, but hesitated. Can't see her like this... but, what am I doing!? He looked left, then right, then back at her. He decided she needed a shoulder. Before he knew what he was doing, he moved. 

He stood up again, and this time went to sit right next to her. He put his finger under her chin and made her face him. "Kya hua, Zoya, tum ro kyu rahi ho?" he asked, his voice full of worry. 

Zoya tried to look down, she did not want to meet his eyes. But the sound of her first name from his lips took her by surprise. She peered up at him through her bangs. 

He shook his head slightly, as if to assure her she was safe, and just like that she gripped his arm and rested her head on his shoulder. Asad looked here and there, but didn't dare move an inch. Zoya let out bigger sobs, and cried helplessly for a few minutes, tightening her grip on his arm. Asad's heart broke, seeing her like this. In yet another moment of impulse, his hand was on her cheek, drying her endless tears. 

Zoya's eyes widened and she lifted her face slightly to meet his. Their eyes locked once again, as his hand rested on one of hers. She shivered at the feel of his touch. He couldn't help but bring his hand back to her cheek, wiping the last of her tears. 

Embarrassed at the thought of breaking down in front of him, she looked down, and slowly let go of his arm. Asad blinked, realizing what he'd done. Get a grip! He moved closer to the edge of the bed, creating some distance between them. 

"I-, I'm sorry, Ms. Farooqui." he stuttered. 

"It's ok Mr. Khan. I... I guess I'm still not comfortable talking about what Ak-. W- what he- What almost happened..." she trailed off.

Asad felt a pang of guilt. So that's why she was crying. "Ms. Farooqui... I- Aapko meri wajah se... " He looked down at his hands. Back then it was only the guilt of sending her there without listening to her that was bothering him. But only tonight, after seeing how much she was still affected by this incident, did he feel guilty for misjudging her. For calling her irresponsible. For thinking she thought only about herself. For mistaking her cheerful demeanor as taking everything with the weight of a feather. 

Once again, his guilt and concern for Ms. New York created an impulse in him. "Aap, puch rahin thi mere bachpan ke bare mein. Hai na? Woh, actually... woh mask ammi ne mere liye banai thi. Mein ek play mein hisa leh raha tha. Mere ab- Mujhe usi din pata chala qui mere naam ka mathlab sher tha..." he recalled. His eyes looked her way, trying to see any change in her face. 

Zoya came out of her trance. Allah miyan, whats wrong with my ears? Am I imagining things? Mr. Khan is opening up!? To me!? Their eyes met yet again. But this time there was an understanding on Zoya's part. He felt guilty. Just like he did when he had sla- When he had insulted her. Suddenly she felt warm. Be it out of guilt, she was finally able to see a side of her Jahapana that reflected his more playful and innocent mannerisms. This was the first time she saw Asad and not Mr. Akdu Ahmed Khan in front of her. Asad the boy who grew up too soon. Asad the boy who despite hating his father, still held on to the fonder memories of his childhood, much like she did. 

Zoya decided she'd try to lighten the mood a little. "Aap kitne saal ke the, Mr. Kahn?"

Asad was relieved to hear her voice, and her cheery tone. "Mein to sirf 5 sal ka tha," he answered, curiously.  

"Allah miyan, what wrong with you Mr. Khan? Aap kya tabse sher jaise gurrathe jare hain?" She smirked at him. 

Asad's lips turned up the slightest bit into a faint smile. But before she could see, he made his signature move, and rubbed his forehead while rolling his eyes. 

"Ms. Farooqui, it's late. I'll let you sleep. Good night."

"Kya Mr. Kh-," started Zoya, but but stopped mid sentence as she noticed she was talking to thin air. Once again, Mr. Jahapana Six-Packs had run away from her. Allah miyan! What's wrong with this man? Why is always afraid to say what he wants?

Edited by mochhug - 18 April 2013 at 3:33pm

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