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Ovi is too much DT note pg19 (Page 26)

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Posted: 12 April 2013 at 9:36am | IP Logged

Janhvi, I didn't construe your interpretation regarding Ovi's behavior in any way, I was just stating that I saw nothing amiss'.sorry, no intensions whatsoever to bug you here'

 

But let me ask you (and you can ignore, if you feel bugged Big smile), why can't an announcement done in CAnada be taken as as a 'done' deal. For all concern, both families and their friends/business colleagues were present. That is how my friends do it here in real life and for many, only friends and acquaintances and not family are present. At least for the Ds and Ks all their immediate family were present. True Archana's maikka wasn't present - but they weren't present for 18 yrs and at that point in the story, they presence wasn't expected or even required. It could have happen this way only, if the parents divorces or moves away - nothing amiss in the promise made in Canada, as was done in front of the CAnadian society, unless of course, an Indian Society holds value in this case in your POV and only promises made on Indian soil should be upheld....

On a serious note, that could spell disaster for many of my friends here you gets "engaged" or make the 'promise' and then either marry here in the USA or go to India for the actual ceremony...


Edited by Kalapi - 12 April 2013 at 9:54am

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Posted: 12 April 2013 at 9:38am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Kalapi

Originally posted by koolsadhu1000

An engagement is generally done to announce to the society in 70 % of the cases but it is not mandatory at all if the two families r of average income group and decide mutually to do away with this function and directly go for the wedding as an engagement is a seperate function by itself that requires quite a lot of expenditure . Many families do away with it . An engagement is called the 'sakhar puda' in Maharashtra ...and many families think it is pointless to do so much kharcha on booking a hall  lunch  guests etc when all this is even done in the wedding itself . A sakharpuda is hosted by the girl's father and it is frankly a big drain on the girl's father's pocket so many a time the boy's party understands .

What we give importance , as u said , is the word . The word given or the commitment given . It is regarded as extremely shameful or embarassing when this word is broken . DK  in real life in our society would have slapped Arjun for his 'sacha pyaar ' excuse .

Both Arjun Purvi were wrong and Archana was later super wrong for rooting for this sacha pyaar marraige . It is absolutely sanskaarless , she should have refused Arjun for both her daughters .

Kool, that is what I thought too. Even my aashirbad was done just before the wedding and mine was an arranged marriage...Good thing Big smile for my then student hubby was coming from the West to get married to me...I guess, my parents didn't want to take any chances Wink

Our parents were wise LOL  My dad would not let me even correspond with my husband before marriage as he was also a student coming from here Wink   Our lagnapatrika was done with much ritual and fanfare with tons of family and friends but sans the bridegroom himself, it was an agreement between the families.  

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Posted: 12 April 2013 at 9:39am | IP Logged
Originally posted by Kalapi

Janhvi, I didn't construe your interpretation regarding Ovi's behavior in any way, I was just stating that I saw nothing amiss'.sorry, no intensions whatsoever to bug you here'

 

But let me ask you (and you can ignore, if you feel bugged Big smile), why can't an announcement done in CAnada be taken as as a 'done' deal. For all concern, both families and their friends/business colleagues were present. That is how my friends do it here in real life and for many only friends and acquaintances and not family are present. At least for the Ds and Ks all their immediate family was present. True Archana's maikka wasn't present - but they weren't present for 18 yrs and at that point in the story, they presence wasn't expected or even required. It could have happen this way only, if the parents divorces or moves away - nothing amiss in the promise made in Canada, as was done in front of the CAnadian society, unless of course, an Indian Society hold value in this case, in your POV...


I will come back after I drop my daughter off :) she will kill me if I make her late because of PR :))

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Posted: 12 April 2013 at 9:43am | IP Logged
Originally posted by soapwatcher1

Originally posted by Kalapi

Originally posted by koolsadhu1000

An engagement is generally done to announce to the society in 70 % of the cases but it is not mandatory at all if the two families r of average income group and decide mutually to do away with this function and directly go for the wedding as an engagement is a seperate function by itself that requires quite a lot of expenditure . Many families do away with it . An engagement is called the 'sakhar puda' in Maharashtra ...and many families think it is pointless to do so much kharcha on booking a hall  lunch  guests etc when all this is even done in the wedding itself . A sakharpuda is hosted by the girl's father and it is frankly a big drain on the girl's father's pocket so many a time the boy's party understands .

What we give importance , as u said , is the word . The word given or the commitment given . It is regarded as extremely shameful or embarassing when this word is broken . DK  in real life in our society would have slapped Arjun for his 'sacha pyaar ' excuse .

Both Arjun Purvi were wrong and Archana was later super wrong for rooting for this sacha pyaar marraige . It is absolutely sanskaarless , she should have refused Arjun for both her daughters .

Kool, that is what I thought too. Even my aashirbad was done just before the wedding and mine was an arranged marriage...Good thing Big smile for my then student hubby was coming from the West to get married to me...I guess, my parents didn't want to take any chances Wink

Our parents were wise LOL  My dad would not let me even correspond with my husband before marriage as he was also a student coming from here Wink   Our lagnapatrika was done with much ritual and fanfare with tons of family and friends but sans the bridegroom himself, it was an agreement between the families.  
hahahha...I know exactly what you mean about your parent LOL...had the same experience myself...no correspondence at all too and no formal engagement LOL, I had my aashirbad right before the ceremony...yup, that is how dear parents are...

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Posted: 12 April 2013 at 10:24am | IP Logged
[QUOTE=soapwatcher1]

Dear Pari, must you?  Smile  when you ask, I cannot refuse so here I go with my treatise. LOL

Let me clarify one thing, heavens no, I do not want Arjun and Purvi to be re-united after two marriages and two bacchas, I have been screaming myself hoarse saying that.  Confused  I believe in fidelity above all else, and Arjun by sleeping with Ovi, moved on, he now owes (in my mind) his allegiance to Ovi because of the simple fact that he proceeded to make his marriage real AFTER knowing all the facts about the deal between Purvi and Ovi.  

You are right, Ovi did the deal for herself, Purvi for her Aai, Arjun could have, should have, must have had sense enough to tell Purvi to jump off a cliff and refused to marry Ovi, he is a grown man and if he can be led by a ring around his nose, he deserves what he has gotten, noble lover, kind guy, handsome  dude, and all Big smile.  But there are others who feel that he is justified as well because he did this for love of Purvi.  Maybe, though I am not of that thinking. 

Ovi did not come clean with anything ever, she has not acknowledged even to herself what she did was wrong.  She was ranting and raving and slapping Purvi at that party, Arjun was not even there at that moment, the girl has a major problem, she uses Purvi as her scapegoat for the loss of her mother's love and for her own inability to ignite that loving feeling in Arjun.  Arjun walked in to see Ovi slapping Purvi and slapped Ovi which is when she asked him about who he loved, she forced his hand, again playing that game of chance, wishing, hoping like a child that shuts its eyes and wishes the candy will land in its hand and that by some miracle Arjun would say he loves her, Ovi.  Her hopes were dashed when Arjun after warning her not to push it, declared to the world that he still loved Purvi. You cannot call that coming clean, if you do then Arjun telling Ovi the night of their marriage that he loved Purvi and only Purvi was coming clean as well.  Ovi turned a blind eye and ignored it in then, she is not in the driver's seat of this marriage to decide when to believe him and when not to, marriage is a tandem bike that requires two at the helm.  

No, Purvi could not have disclosed then at the party that she was pregnant.  She did what any sensible girl should do (she was not sensible on the hill top) and told Arjun to move on with his life and left.

Arjun sleeping with Ovi is something else that I have shrieked myself hoarse about LOL, if it was physically possible for him to sleep with Ovi, he was not as much in love with Purvi as he thought he was, and he was at some level (as Strega points out) attracted to Ovi.  That clinches it for me. He took the step to make the marriage real with Ovi, Purvi is automatically out of the picture for him.  He is a married man now in every sense of the word.  Ideally, if Ovi realizes and admits her mistake in acquiring him like a commodity (Please do not bring up Purvi giving him up like a commodityWink, remember she is no longer in the picture as far as Arjun is concerned, this is between Ovi and Arjun only) , they should both make a sincere effort to work at their marriage, separately and independent of Purvi or her marriage.  The last couple of weeks lent some hope that Ovi was moving in this direction but this latest fiasco has set her back again.  I am not sure if this leopard can ever change its spots.  Confused

Purvi coming back after 7 to 9 months was not her own doing, Manav & Archana and even Ovi wanted Onir to treat Ovi in Mumbai.  Yes, Purvi has a problem, a self-esteem problem that she has to bow down to everyone's wishes to feel good about herself.  Mahaan you might call it, life long inferiority complex, I might term it.  

If Ovi has abandonment issues as many have pointed out stemming from a lack of a mother's love in her formative years which is the underlying cause of her irrational behavior,  I believe, being treated as a nobody by the family including the Ds (Savita, the twins, Manjusha) and as an outsider because of being an adopted child, Purvi has this overwhelming  need to be accepted and loved and hence goes about wrecking her life in an effort to win applause and approbation for her idiotic deeds. 

It was insolent on the part of both Onir and Purvi to switch babies and to assume that they were taking care of Ovi's welfare and were righting all the wrongs in the Arjun-Ovi marriage with this one fell swoop.  None of their business how Ovi handled her loss, they could commiserate and help but had no reason to play God even if done with all good intentions.  Sometimes, motives aren't enough and that was the case in this situation.  The CVs might yet turn this to Purvi's redemption judging by Ovi's behavior today.  She has developed a strong attachment to the baby and maybe the baby's unconditional love and dependence on Ovi will help her come out of her sorrow, I hope so, for Ovi's sake.  

As for the truth being told, I have been the flag bearer on that (ask Kools and Shyamala and Kalapi) that Pari's truth needed to be outed when Onir & Purvi arrived in Mumbai.  I cited Karna (look at what happened because Kunti hid the truth from Arjuna and the rest of the Pandavas), Shyamala in her infinite wisdom quoted Krishna and said hiding the truth is okay when it prevents a pound of hurt.  We are re-hashing the same "to tell or not to tell" question, just that the answer is easier as it is now in hindsight.LOL

I could turn the tables and ask if Ovi murders Purvi (she has been killing Purvi slowly since she crossed Purvi's path that fateful stormy night near the airport), would that be forgiven as easily as all Ovi's other trespasses against Purvi (accusations of her being a gold-digger, a thief, a husband stealer, mother stealer, child stealer, need I go on?) merely because Purvi had the misfortune of attracting Arjun's love, that Arjun whom Ovi had eyed and marked as her own?  Oh, I needn't ask this question, when Purvi was kidnapped, Ovi did not care a fig if Purvi perished at the hands of the goons, Ovi in fact  tried to stop her dad from handing over the ransom, so of course, the girl can be forgiven and her praises sung for she is transparent when it comes to her hatred and murderous intentions towards Purvi! LOL

My dear friend, that is my treatise in short for you! Wink

[QUOTE]

jhanvi,

Thank you for the reply! I knew we would not agree on certain things, but I did want to read your opinion and probably defense of Purvi. 

@bold - I had at that time always felt Ovi was a bit OTT ( over the top - since acronyms hurt people's feelings on this forum :P) about her hatred for purvi. Somewhere I could understand it, but somewhere she was cursing all her misfortune on Purvi, whereas Archana was the main person to blame. ( I do not make Ovi a transparent and white character, for me she is grey and has steadily moved towards righting her wrongs, but in no uncertain claims will she be white unless she realizes her deal and apologizes for it to Arjun. She owes nothing to Purvi. ) But, I would not label her with the wrath you guys have for her, for simply proposing a deal. People make mistakes, Purvi has made them too. Whatever the deal was, all 3 were equally to blame. You cannot hate Ovi alone for that deal. Arjun-Purvi failed their test of love too. And I would credit Purvi, the great executive at 19 with more brains than to think this was the last solution to her mother's problems. Anyway, I would not absolve OVi if she murdered Purvi, as I don't absolve her of that deal. In my head it was wrong and always will be. So, don't label the blind defense of Ovi on me. I simply find her relatable, real and most grown character on the show today. And I do point her mistakes out too. 

I always felt Purvi and Ovi both should have kept away from Arjun. Ovi for her self worth and Purvi since she cared so much for her mother's happiness. I still cannot understand how suddenly with the deal she realized what damage this wedding was gonan cause to her mom. When all through the preps, she could constantly see her mom crying and suffering because Manav was pissed off as hell and so were her other kids. But anyway, let us just forget that deal. All 3 are to blame and I don't see any great love from either of them that can be justified.

I don't think lately Ovi has used Purvi as a scapegoat for her problems at all. In that party, once again, I will re-iterate that I thought Ovi was wrong because she had knowingly gotten into this alliance. Even if she was in denial that he truly loved Purvi, that is her problem alone and not the husband's or Purvi;s. So her slapping Purvi was uncalled for. If Arjun listens to Purvi, it is his problem and not Purvi;s. He is a spineless fool in front of her. Nothing else. Purvi calls the shots in his marriage and his baby but if he stood up to her, she would have no control. But he doesn't and she continues doing so. (ego-centric personality or do-gooder for his life you can choose, I know what I think of her :P) So even at that party, I felt Ovi was simply tasting the bitter medicine now, that she had herself chosen to swallow. So be it. I felt sympathy but knew that it was of her own calling. 

Purvi left town. If Arjun listens to Purvi, Purvi loves to oder Arjun giving her "pyaar ki kasam". The dude is married. If you chose to give him up, stay away. you cannot deny that she eye-locked him and she did make that halwa and she was around him most of the times. This is not her fault alone but his too. That time peopel said " it's not easy for them to forget each other, purvi still loves him, so obviously in one month the love is not gonna die out" blah blah blah. So then, how was it assumed easy for Ovi to forget Arjun so soon? When she landed in india, unceremoniously he broke up with her and then immediately proceeded with shaadi plans with Purvi, how was Ovi expected to just understand and move on? Purvi was happily romancing while the girl was committing suicide. Agreed, she need not have any feelings towards her "sautan" or sister whatever, but then do not go around professing Ovi's bhalai to anybody. Do not hide your kartoots behind reasons like Ovi's insecurities. Did Purvi not have a human enough heart to understand that she was getting married to the ex fiance who had just broken up with her? Shoving the marriage in her face, was heartless enough but the urgency for wedding was beyond me. Ovi is expected to understand each time, but when will we lay fingers on Purvi for being so engrossed in romance, she did not spare a thought for the girl who had just been dumped for her? That being her sister, but more so her mother's other daughter. If she cared so much for mom and dad and sister, she would have said, let us wait for ovi to come out of this depression and then we can get married, There is no hurry. But instead, she went and forced baba manav to do kanyadaan giving him all these daughter-father examples and crying buckets out avbout having gornw up without him. What BS? Purvi was as insensitive to Ovi as Ovi has been to Purvi in the beginning. So let us please lay square blame. 

As for your statement that him shouting out loud and clear that he loved purvi at the part was not coming clean? Pray tell me what is coming clean then? Kissing purvi in front of her? I don't know. He wanted out right? he did not love Ovi. Right? He wanted to be with Purvi? So shouldn't he have divorced her? Or shouldn't he have been like this is not working forget it? Ovi loved Arjun and she will obviously do everything to keep him, just as Arjun does everything for Purvi to prove his love again and again. So if you wanted Ovi to walk out, why should Arjun not walk out? And once he committed, then why this love and longing for Purvi still? Ovi is still giving her 100% to this marriage isn't she? So why is he not keeping his end of the bargain? I understand you taking up for Purvi but what is this taking up for Arjun agaisnt Ovi? Everytime it looks like hands turn down to Ovi for that one deal. Like I said it is akin to Purvi killing ovi and justified cuz of that one deal. 

Purvi, her nautanki is simply that once you give up, then stick to it. There is no denying that she used to eye-lock, but I will give it to her that she tried hard to run away from Arjun. but like previously, it was always Arjun pursuing this woman so much that it was hard for her to ell him to go away forever. So she decided to go away. But after that, she has only made a series of horrible decisions. I have not once used Ovi's abandonment issues to justify her behavior so let's keep Purvi;s need for acceptance out of this too. 

For Arjun-Ovi's marriage to work, Purvi has to stop interfering. Arjun listens to her yes, but purvi should keep out of it. Meeting him clandestinely, telling him about hiding truth from Ovi then telling him you should have told her, then making decisions about telling the family now that Ovi will be shattered, but could not open out her kaands before when the tiem was better, tellign arjun to consummate, telling arjun to keep pari happy, telling ovi she is a bad mother. WTH. Why cannot Purvi keep away form Ovi and Arjun? Simple? Why this constant need to be God in their lives? 

Anyway, Purvi;s actions to me are more ego-centric and controlling and she comes across as a person who likes people to owe gratitude to her, a need to be mahaan and for people to always be in debt of her goodness, she comes across as a person who is immature and makes wild decisions in her whims and fancies without weighing the consequences. And ofcourse takes all the peopel who genuinely love her for granted. 

we may never agree on this so let us end it here :) I will never see Purvi with your eyes and you will never see Ovi with mine :) 


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Posted: 12 April 2013 at 10:56am | IP Logged
kalapi, that they were, wise parents, I mean. 

Coming back to your question, as I wrote before I was expounding to hillydee on how a traditional engagement was actually done in India, emphasis on "traditional".  And no, it is not my POV that Indian society has more value than Canadian society, lol. These days, anything chalta hai, so long as the intent is serious.  But in the case of the Ds and Ks, they themselves did not consider it an engagement if they arranged for one later, it was not considered a "done deal" even by them.  These days it is more common for engagements and marriages to break which "traditionally" didn't happen or weren't "allowed" to happen.  Bad thing if a couple was forced to stay together just for the sake of custom and society but bad thing also if a couple breaks up on a mere whim or fancy.  Pros and cons to both.  

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Posted: 12 April 2013 at 11:35am | IP Logged
Originally posted by soapwatcher1

kalapi, that they were, wise parents, I mean. 

Coming back to your question, as I wrote before I was expounding to hillydee on how a traditional engagement was actually done in India, emphasis on "traditional".  And no, it is not my POV that Indian society has more value than Canadian society, lol. These days, anything chalta hai, so long as the intent is serious.  But in the case of the Ds and Ks, they themselves did not consider it an engagement if they arranged for one later, it was not considered a "done deal" even by them.  
 

To me they did consider a done deal, otherwise why could 2 business tycoons make a public announcement if they were themselves doubtful. Ppl from business background are doubly careful of the media announcements they make, for it can backfire easily. It was done deal for all parties, as far as the family members were concerned and so was such a happy announcement from DK (who did it officially in a party) that his best friend was soon becoming Samdhan. So, the paka katha was done.

As for the actual ''engagement' ceremony, they are rich ppl and for both families, their first children's marriage, they will of course follow every possible ritual - it happens in real life too. They could, of course, invite all their acquaintances - it was a business marriage too, in a sense. But sadly, PR shows one side story. They didn't shows any media queries when suddenly Arjun got engaged to the step sister...in real life that could have been some fodder for the evening news - that is why this serial is so one-sided...

 
 
 
 
 
These days it is more common for engagements and marriages to break which "traditionally" didn't happen or weren't "allowed" to happen.  Bad thing if a couple was forced to stay together just for the sake of custom and society but bad thing also if a couple breaks up on a mere whim or fancy.  Pros and cons to both.  
 
 
Not sure I understand the underlined, Janhvi?? You mean that if marriages didn't happen traditionally then it breaks more often. So, court marriages breaks more often. But then Ovi did have a very traditional marriage (thanks to Purvi), in front of Bappa and by the priests, so it should never break, right???
 
I agree, couple shouldn't be forced to stay together for a custome. That is why ask, right after the wedding, why Arjun didn't go for a divorce - for he never wanted it, right?? Now, when Ovi was ready after the month, again Arjun stopped her. Now, even I want Ovi to divorce Arjun - he simply isn't worth her...
 
I agree complete with your line in red...
 


Edited by Kalapi - 12 April 2013 at 11:41am

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Posted: 12 April 2013 at 11:55am | IP Logged
Ovi has regressed in the last few episodes?

Hun? ?.??


Howdo women react when they find out -
Their child is not theirs
Their child is dead
And the hubby dearest has the child with someone else


Can someone pls point me towards the guide for correct behaviour in such circumstances?

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