Originally posted by pari87
I would love for you to answer this. I have time and again always blamed Ovi for that deal. I do not justify it ever, whether it is abandonment issues or desperation, or plain denail, whatever it was, I do not see it as justifiable in my eyes. I have laid full blame on her for putting forth the deal.
Same way, justifying Purvi accepting the deal because of some kind of debt on her head for being adopted is not cool either. When we do not accept justifications for Ovi wanting to barter a man for mother, how is it kosher for Purvi to barter this same man for mother? If we consider some unconscious feelings of Purvi's debtful attitude in this, one can easily give same yard stick to Ovi and say that she had serious abandonment issues and none of the family helped the poor girl so she drove to the point of desperation. Purvi was desperate to get her mother happiness, Ovi as desperate to get the man she loves. At this point, you guys will say, oh but Purvi wanted it for someone else and Ovi was being selfish. Ok, I give that. Like I said, I have never unnecessarily put Ovi on some pedestal when she had made mistakes. And this one is her biggest one, so no cover up from my side for her. But then what about Mr. Kirloskar? He owed nothing to Archana, so him backing out for Purvi;s sake from their marriage is understandable, but marrying Ovi fully well that he can never give her love, what was that about? At this point, he did not know that Ovi had made the deal in the first place. He found out once they got hom from the wedding. So how did he not spare a thought for his so called childhood friend? He was being selfish too then, just to prove to purvi how much he loves her, he decided to put his childhood friend to hell knowing that he could never do justice to this marriage. But I guess, Arjun and Purvi are amar premis so all is justifiable.
Fine, so that one month when she was being royally ignored by the husband, her existence was next to nothing for him, she had to watch the eye locks between husband and sister, the constant reminders of their past shoved in her face and then her crankyness about it, got no sympathy from me. I also felt, that she knew what she was getting inot, she had to face this. Ok.
Now at that party, where the whole thing was laid bare to all, the facade Arjun-Ovi were following, the unconsummated status and even Arjun's undying love for Purvi. Ovi declared for one and all to hear that she was tired of this, could not take it anymore and wanted to move on. SO that was her first step towards making this right. Maybe, she did not say it so that Arjun-Purvi could reunite, but she did say it so that both her and arjun could be free from this marriage.
Now, I understand Purvi not being able to say it out loud that she is pregnant to the family. She is too much of a "sanskaari" girl ( although everything she does screams opposite). So I won't point fingers here at her being unable to get her dirty secret out. But Arjun, he knew he did not love Ovi. at this point, he also KNEW she was ready to move on. He knew the deal fair and sqaure too. So nothing was hidden or underhand anymore. It was public news. So why the hell did he come back for a second chance? When Ovi was ready to move on, why does she deserve this now?
The lovers could have re-united na? you guys still want it to happen anyway, after 2 weddings and 2 bacchas, so why not then when it was easier? Why did Arjun not stand up to Purvi and say, enough I am not ruining Ovi's life and my life anymore because none of us are happy in this marriage. I cannot love her. Purvi, when she knew she was pregnant, why did she not think Arjun had the right to know. After all, suddenly her claims that the family ka haq hai to know that pari is their daughter, why did she not think of this haq that time? When it was easier to come out with the truth than it is now. why did she not think of child's bhalai that time? That her child will grow up with bio dad? Why did this not occur to her that time? But instead, one more pyaar ki kasam and she says go please consummate with your wife. Did she not think of repurcussions? One man, who is already the father of her child, being father of Ovi's child too? Please don't tell me Purvi was childish and she thought of sab ki bhalai. Clearly that sab ki bhalai isn't in the picture now, so pray, it wasn't even then. She simply ran away toa avoid humiliation and all the name calling she would have recieved. But now it is called sab ki bhalai, and forget sab ki it is called ovi ki bhalai. who is she to decide what arjun-ovi's marriage is supposed to be like? And that too, by giving her pyaar ki kasams to Arjun. Quite an ego centric person who knows she rules over this guy. Not the pure-vi in my head. After that one month declaration and the pathetic decision by the lovers, one to hide her pregnancy from him, other to listen to her bs and consummate with his wife instead of divorcing her, since then, it has been dhokha to ovi. She has sufffered constantly in this marriage, with a pathetic excuse of a husband and ghost of her sister's past always controlling this husband.
Once ovi came clean on that day a month later, it has only been Arjun-Purvi;s mistakes and that is why it is dhoka. Explain and enlighten me on why Purvi hid her pregnancy to Arjun and why Arjun did not divorce ovi after she was ready to move on? Were they playing a revenge game on her for that deal? So then what is the difference between all 3? And if you tell me Purvi thought of bhalai, that is really not kosher. She did not think of her child growing up withotu a bio dad, she did not think of Arjun's misery in this marriage, she did not think of her family who would be devastated by finding out an ugly truth when 2 babies are in question, and she definitely did not think of Ovi who she knew had to suffer a loveless marriage, because Arjun could only provide as a husband but could never love her. ( i don't deride her for not looking out for Ovi, cuz she had no reason to, but then she should not blame ovi ' insecurities for her bs reasons for hiding face and running away and nor she should say ovi ki bhalai, cuz usually she doesn't do anything taht results in her bhaalai)
After 7-9 months, she comes back and then all this new buckwaas comes up in her head about swapping babies, only to finally come out with the ugly truth. Assuming that Ovi should forgive them and family to accept this, because it is family ka haq now. When was that haq in that one month party may i know? Purvi does as is convenient to her and there is no bhalai in anything she does. She is an egocentric person who cloaks her BS in the name of bhalai and mahaanta.
And as much as we would disagree on this, I can lay my blame on Ovi when she is wrong, but it seems like Purvi will be defended even if she goes ahead and murders Ovi simply because of that one deal.
Dear Pari, must you?
when you ask, I cannot refuse so here I go with my treatise.
Let me clarify one thing, heavens no, I do not want Arjun and Purvi to be re-united after two marriages and two bacchas, I have been screaming myself hoarse saying that.
I believe in fidelity above all else, and Arjun by sleeping with Ovi, moved on, he now owes (in my mind) his allegiance to Ovi because of the simple fact that he proceeded to make his marriage real AFTER
knowing all the facts about the deal between Purvi and Ovi.
You are right, Ovi did the deal for herself, Purvi for her Aai, Arjun could have, should have, must have had sense enough to tell Purvi to jump off a cliff and refused to marry Ovi, he is a grown man and if he can be led by a ring around his nose, he deserves what he has gotten, noble lover, kind guy, handsome dude, and all
. But there are others who feel that he is justified as well because he did this for love of Purvi. Maybe, though I am not of that thinking.
Ovi did not come clean with anything ever, she has not acknowledged even to herself what she did was wrong. She was ranting and raving and slapping Purvi at that party, Arjun was not even there at that moment, the girl has a major problem, she uses Purvi as her scapegoat for the loss of her mother's love and for her own inability to ignite that loving feeling in Arjun. Arjun walked in to see Ovi slapping Purvi and slapped Ovi which is when she asked him about who he loved, she forced his hand, again playing that game of chance, wishing, hoping like a child that shuts its eyes and wishes the candy will land in its hand and that by some miracle Arjun would say he loves her, Ovi. Her hopes were dashed when Arjun after warning her not to push it, declared to the world that he still loved Purvi. You cannot call that coming clean, if you do then Arjun telling Ovi the night of their marriage that he loved Purvi and only Purvi was coming clean as well. Ovi turned a blind eye and ignored it in then, she is not in the driver's seat of this marriage to decide when to believe him and when not to, marriage is a tandem bike that requires two at the helm.
No, Purvi could not have disclosed then at the party that she was pregnant. She did what any sensible girl should do (she was not sensible on the hill top) and told Arjun to move on with his life and left.
Arjun sleeping with Ovi is something else that I have shrieked myself hoarse about
, if it was physically possible for him to sleep with Ovi, he was not as much in love with Purvi as he thought he was, and he was at some level (as Strega points out) attracted to Ovi. That clinches it for me. He took the step to make the marriage real with Ovi, Purvi is automatically out of the picture for him. He is a married man now in every sense of the word. Ideally, if Ovi realizes and admits her mistake in acquiring him like a commodity (Please do not bring up Purvi giving him up like a commodity
, remember she is no longer in the picture as far as Arjun is concerned, this is between Ovi and Arjun only) , they should both make a sincere effort to work at their marriage, separately and independent of Purvi or her marriage. The last couple of weeks lent some hope that Ovi was moving in this direction but this latest fiasco has set her back again. I am not sure if this leopard can ever change its spots.
Purvi coming back after 7 to 9 months was not her own doing, Manav & Archana and even Ovi wanted Onir to treat Ovi in Mumbai. Yes, Purvi has a problem, a self-esteem problem that she has to bow down to everyone's wishes to feel good about herself. Mahaan you might call it, life long inferiority complex, I might term it.
If Ovi has abandonment issues as many have pointed out stemming from a lack of a mother's love in her formative years which is the underlying cause of her irrational behavior, I believe, being treated as a nobody by the family including the Ds (Savita, the twins, Manjusha) and as an outsider because of being an adopted child, Purvi has this overwhelming need to be accepted and loved and hence goes about wrecking her life in an effort to win applause and approbation for her idiotic deeds.
It was insolent on the part of both Onir and Purvi to switch babies and to assume that they were taking care of Ovi's welfare and were righting all the wrongs in the Arjun-Ovi marriage with this one fell swoop. None of their business how Ovi handled her loss, they could commiserate and help but had no reason to play God even if done with all good intentions. Sometimes, motives aren't enough and that was the case in this situation. The CVs might yet turn this to Purvi's redemption judging by Ovi's behavior today. She has developed a strong attachment to the baby and maybe the baby's unconditional love and dependence on Ovi will help her come out of her sorrow, I hope so, for Ovi's sake.
As for the truth being told, I have been the flag bearer on that (ask Kools and Shyamala and Kalapi) that Pari's truth needed to be outed when Onir & Purvi arrived in Mumbai. I cited Karna (look at what happened because Kunti hid the truth from Arjuna and the rest of the Pandavas), Shyamala in her infinite wisdom quoted Krishna and said hiding the truth is okay when it prevents a pound of hurt. We are re-hashing the same "to tell or not to tell" question, just that the answer is easier as it is now in hindsight.
I could turn the tables and ask if Ovi murders Purvi (she has been killing Purvi slowly since she crossed Purvi's path that fateful stormy night near the airport), would that be forgiven as easily as all Ovi's other trespasses against Purvi (accusations of her being a gold-digger, a thief, a husband stealer, mother stealer, child stealer, need I go on?) merely because Purvi had the misfortune of attracting Arjun's love, that Arjun whom Ovi had eyed and marked as her own? Oh, I needn't ask this question, when Purvi was kidnapped, Ovi did not care a fig if Purvi perished at the hands of the goons, Ovi in fact tried to stop her dad from handing over the ransom, so of course, the girl can be forgiven and her praises sung for she is transparent when it comes to her hatred and murderous intentions towards Purvi!
My dear friend, that is my treatise in short for you!
Edited by soapwatcher1 - 11 April 2013 at 9:20pm