Chapter 18
Zoya stretched on the bed and felt a hand possessively around her breast. She blindly turned and curled instinctively into the warmth of the body next to her. Her own body felt pleasantly lethargic. She opened her eyes when the realization hit her that the person sleeping next to her was not wearing any clothes. She realized that she was not wearing anything under the sheets too. Last night washed over her and she sat up straight on the bed. She saw Asad sleeping next to her and something deep stirred inside her. She wanted to run her fingers along his handsome face, the long aquiline nose and his hard lips. He was looking peaceful and she did not want him to wake up yet. She felt shy as the details of the previous night came into her mind. She pulled the blanket closer to her.
Was that her last night who had touched him, loved him and groaned under him? She had kissed him and he had kissed her in places she didn't want to think about. She had never thought this day would come in her life again when she would completely surrender herself to someone. All the clichs were true, she felt alive and as if she was walking on clouds. She knew he didn't love her yet but with time she was sure he will because she did...
Her feelings hit her like a jolt, she had never admitted to herself that she had fallen for him but she had. She had promised herself that after her last relationship she would never give love a chance. She felt his hold tighten around her. She felt a sense of belonging here in his arms that she had been craving for all her life. Her mind wandered to her past and she could feel the tears stinging her eyes.
No, no she didn't want to cry, not today. It was Humi's nikaah today and she herself had just found happiness. She gently removed his hands from around her and reached for the tissue paper next to the bed. But the tears wouldn't stop.
Asad reached for her and felt nothing. He panicked; he did not want to let go of her. He opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was the girl he didn't want to lose crouching on the bed, crying her eyes out. He felt as if someone had twisted a knife inside his gut. He closed his eyes again and pretended to sleep.
After a while Zoya turned and saw that he was still sleeping. She looked for her clothes and found them lying on the floor. She picked it up and headed for the restroom.
Asad opened his eyes when he heard the click of the door. He hurriedly got dressed, walked out of the room without giving it a backward glance.
000
He rubbed his forehead, how could he let things get out of hand. It wasn't like he was a teenager and this was his first time with a woman. Why did he want to hold her and feel her soft body against him in the morning? He hated cuddling. It was for wimps and once the night was over what was the purpose of hanging around and indulging in sweet talk? He wasn't made to have tender moments after a night of sex.
But this wasn't just plain sex last night.
He was making love to her.
And she was crying in the morning. Crying for God's sake.
Even after seeing tears of regret flowing from her eyes, eyes in which he wanted to see a desire, a longing for him, he still wanted her. He still wanted to touch her. He still wanted to make love to her.
Every time he thought he had made headway she had retreated into her shell. Last time she had just stopped talking to him, this time he wasn't sure what she would do.
Stop talking to him all over again.
Ignore him all over again
Or not even look at him.
He didn't want to find out. She was crying, regretting last night. At this moment he hated himself for doing what he did last night.
Maybe it's her husband, it struck him suddenly. No doubt she still loved him that explains the tears. He felt a stab of jealousy. She loved him so much that she could not forget him. Ayaan had said they were married for two years. That seemed like an eternity to Asad, his own relationships had never lasted more than three months.
He squared his shoulders. He knew what he had to do. He had done this a million times. And he will forget her soon he told himself. It was time to close this chapter in his life.
000
Zoya saw herself in the mirror. Nothing had changed yet everything had changed. She smiled at her image. She was in love. She was giddy with happiness. She felt like a woman in love and it was a new feeling.
She couldn't wait to tell Humi about it. It will be so exciting. Two brothers and two sisters. They can be together forever. Her childhood fear about being separated from her only family member was after all unfounded. Now they will be sisters and sisters in law, live in the same home, have the same family members and share the same Ammi too. They were indeed lucky.
She wiped her tear stained face. No more tears, she whispered to herself and clutched her rapidly beating heart. She had to face Asad now, she thought. She wasn't sure what their conversation would be like, would he tease her? Would he give her his lopsided grin or would he just engulf her in his embrace and never let go? She was feeling elated. She held the door knob for a long time and waited for her heart beat to become a little steady.
When she entered the room she found the bed empty. His clothes were gone.
000
She took extra care to dress up not just because it was Humi's nikaah but also because she could not hide the grin on her face. She took out the shalwar kameez that she had bought in a local mall in Bhopal when she had gone shopping with Ammi. It was a simple yet pretty anarkali in cream with dark blue border. She wore a pair of earrings with it that she Humi had gifted her on her last birthday. She checked herself in the mirror, satisfied with the result, left her room.
The sitting room was packed with guests even though it was early and the nikaah was a few hours away. She was disappointed that Asad had left her room in the morning before they got a chance to talk. But now she understood, he probably knew most people would already be up and about preparing for the big day.
Her eyes were searching for Asad when she saw Ammi in the kitchen giving instructions to the two ladies who she had hired to help out in the kitchen.
She had never seen so many guests for a single wedding. She had attended a couple of friend's weddings but it was nowhere close to this. But she liked it, to see so many people chattering and socializing with each other and most of all she enjoyed watching everybody interact with each other so freely. The concept of an extended family where the members were comfortable with each other was alien to her.
But her eyes were still searching for Asad. She walked towards Ammi.
" Ammi, do you need any help?" She asked
"Yes Zoya, go and see if Humi is ready. Asad has gone to bring the maulvi sahib. He will be here any minute."
"Yes Ammi" Zoya smiled broadly and made her way upstairs.
000
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