Dil Jaanta Hai - Thread 2: Ch 21 (Pg 134) - Page 38

The marriage was a simple affair - a civil ceremony at the marriage registrar's office in Bhopal High Court. It left both the Scindias and Dubeys feeling dissatisfied, but Yash and Arti had refused to participate in anything more elaborate. Finally, the families had relented – the fact that they were getting married at all being of supreme importance.

Arti and Yash had cringed mentally when the registrar had given the marriage date - February 14^th. The same thought was in both their minds as they signed the register. They - the two most not-in-love couple were getting married on Valentine's Day. Life had a way of laughing at them.

After they had signed, Gayatri surprised Arti by handing Yash a mangalsutra. She had insisted on it, and he had finally given in and let her buy one, silently pointing out his choice when he was shown samples. He had instantly liked that one – a simple diamond pendant strung on a chain of black and white-gold beads. The sheer simplicity and understated elegance had reminded him of Arti. He had pointed to his choice lackadaisically and Gayatri had smiled to herself. It was perfect!

As Yash tied the mangalsutra around Arti's neck he felt a slight jolt of electricity. He couldn't help but exchange a sardonic glance with Arti, both mouthing the word static with amused smiles.

The Scindia elders had wanted a grand reception to let society know of Yash's punar vivaah. Yash had put his foot down, refusing to attend such a reception. When his father had thrown the "society needs to know" reason at him, he had flung out that they would put a notice in the newspaper instead. That had drawn a chuckle from Pankaj, which had quickly ballooned into a guffaw as their father had walked out of the room in disgust. Gayatri and Vidhi had grinned conspiratorially and Gayatri had informed Yash that they would have a party at home instead. She had clearly let him know that he had no choice but to attend with his new wife and son. Yash had not liked the idea, but had given in.

Now, after the marriage, he stood in the centre of his room, loathe to get ready for the party. These were his last few hours in this room by himself. Starting tonight, Arti would share the room with him. The thought still made him uncomfortable, so he resolutely put it aside.

He looked around the room, his eyes subconsciously searching for the familiar...but not finding them. He sighed to himself and walked to the ante-room which he had always used as his second office.

Arpita had loved portraits and she had hung large portraits of the two of them all over their room. Initially Yash had found them...grandiose. But over the years he had gotten used to them. And after Arpita's death, those same portraits had become his friends. After his punar vivaah had been finalized with Arti he had one day overheard his Bhaiyya and Bhabhi talking. Vidhi had mentioned that in Arti's place she may have been uncomfortable staying in a room with those portraits. And that is when it had really hit him….

This punar vivaah was going to change his life - was going to change every aspect of his life! Even though he and Artiji had agreed to remain friends, he realized Bhabhi was right. It would be ... awkward at the very least for her to stay in their room if his and Arpita's portraits still adorned the walls. And he owed her that much at least - the least he could do was to make her feel ... comfortable. Perhaps not welcome... but at least comfortable...

He had asked Vidhi for help. And being a well-established interior designer by now, Vidhi had been able to change the dcor in his room even in the very short time she had. Last night, Yash and Vidhi had worked together, taking down the portraits and replacing them with beautiful landscapes. They had worked silently, each lost in his/her thoughts.

For him, this removal of his wife's pictures was even more difficult than the decision to marry again. As he had worked, taking down each portrait, handing it to Vidhi, taking the new picture from her and putting it in the place of Arpita's photos, he had felt his heart breaking all over again. By the time they were done, the sheen of tears had spilled over onto his cheeks. Vidhi had seen and respected his need for privacy, leaving him alone after a quick squeeze of his shoulder.

Now as he stood in front of the only remaining portrait, he tried to say his final goodbye to her, his wife, his love... After his return from his first trip to Delhi, where the children had reintroduced him to his love of woodwork, he had come back home and finally built this memory trail. It was a collage of his time with Arpita, starting on the top left-hand corner with their college courtship, through engagement, wedding, years together, pregnancy, and the final picture of Arpita alone, ready to leave for the hospital to give birth to their Ansh. They had selected the photos together when he had hit upon the idea and the centerpiece was supposed to be a picture of Arpita holding Ansh. But there were no such portraits of mother-son, Arpita never having held Ansh long enough for a picture. Yash had not had the will to build the collage after Arpita's death... Not until he saw the sketch Arti had gifted Ansh. It was the missing centerpiece - his vision of mother-son pouring their love for each other through their eyes and laughter.

He now stood in front of the collage, the only remaining pictures of Arpita in the room. Lovingly he traced her face in the sketch... and asked for her forgiveness. He knew Mayadidi was right. Arpita would not have sanctioned a second marriage. But he hoped she would understand... he was doing this for Ansh, not for himself. He hoped she would understand and eventually forgive him...

The knock on the door interrupted his musings. "Yash", Pankaj called.

Yash cursed himself for not locking the door when Pankaj opened it and walked in. Seeing his younger brother standing exactly where he had expected to find him, Pankaj put down the tray he had been carrying and walked over. He stood next to his younger brother and hugged him by holding him around the shoulders.

"You are doing the right thing for Ansh, Yash. Don't feel guilty" Pankaj said.

The tense shoulders relaxed slightly. Without looking at his brother, Yash said softly, "Yes, but will she understand? Will she ever forgive me?"

Pankaj sighed. Arpita had been a lovely girl, but she would not have been his choice for Yash... "Knowing her as she had been, probably not. But she is no more Yash, she is gone. You are doing all this for Ansh. And at some point, you just have to keep reminding yourself of that and move on. Hard as it may be, your first allegiance has to be to the living - to yourself, to your son, and even to Arti." The last was said in a hard tone, but Pankaj wasn't sure if his brother heard it.

Yash heard the underlying message his Bhaiyya was sending him. They had always been able to communicate through silences, gestures, even voice tones rather than words. He understood what his brother was saying - eventually he would have to accept Arti as his wife in all ways. But he was not prepared to deal with that... not now, perhaps not ever.

______________________

Arti looked through the package and scowled at her reflection in the mirror. She was in one of the guest rooms in Yash's house, supposedly to get ready. Except that she did not want to. She had agreed to this marriage for Ansh. And she had barely even seen him the whole day, let alone spend time with him. So why was she supposed to get ready and party instead of taking care of the baby who was the reason she was here?

Just then the door opened, and Vidhi came in. Seeing her, Arti transferred the scowl towards Vidhi, who just responded with a cheeky grin at her.

Seeing a completely unfazed Vidhi, Arti asked, "Where is Ansh?"

"Sleeping, just like Payal. They need their nap so they will be fresh for the dinner party tonight" Vidhi said.

"Why do we have to have a dinner party Vidhi?" Arti asked, resisting her friend's tug at her arms.

"Because we need to. We just had a happy occasion in the family, after nearly one year. And we would like to share it with everyone" Vidhi explained just as she would have explained to Payal.

Arti flushed. She had been thinking selfishly, forgetting the pain the Scindias had gone through. She nodded mutely  and then got up as Vidhi unpacked the contents of the package.

Arti had worn a soft pink coloured silk saree with heavy zardozi border and pallu for the marriage. The Scindias had gifted her the outfit and jewelry for the evening's event – a gorgeous midnight blue lehenga choli with tiny gold and white bead-work covering the entire lehenga. Complimenting the outfit was the jewelry - a delicately woven gold set consisting of a choker, bangles and ear-rings. Just like countless times earlier, Arti allowed Vidhi to dress her, insisting only on very light make-up, letting the gold set be her only adornment. Vidhi twisted her long hair into a knot and then tied a jasmine gajra around it. Arti smiled at that - she loved gajras, and obviously Vidhi still remembered. As she inhaled the familiar fragrance, the knot of tension in her stomach finally started to dissolve and she smiled wanly at her friend.

The dinner party had been more like a reception after all, only it was held in the Scindia house and consisted of about 100 guests. After the first 20, Arti stopped trying to remember who was who, figuring out she could learn that over time. Yash had kept a discreet distance from her while they mingled, not too distant to cause comment, neither too close to make either uncomfortable. Ansh however had attached himself to her, insisting she hold him till Yash came to the rescue of the fast-tiring new mother.

Finally, close to midnight all the guests left, except the Shankars and Dubeys.  The Dubeys were catching an early morning train back to Indore the next morning and Yash had asked them to stay the night at their house rather than at a hotel. Exhausted and emotionally drained by now, Shobha and Satyendra were glad to be able to retire. Vidhi and Arti escorted them to their room and as Arti bent to touch their feet for a blessing, Shobha could not hold back her tears.

Guilt came flooding in and Arti enfolded her Ma in a hug. She had become so frail, Arti could feel her bones jutting out. "Ma?" she asked in gentle tones, the worry lacing her voice despite her best efforts.

Shobha shook her head, "Don't worry beta. These are tears of joy. But I will miss you..." She ended in a wistful note.

"Don't Maji" came from the doorway, startling them all. Yash stood there with a sleeping  Ansh in his arms. "Please do not miss Artiji and distance us from you. She is and will always be your daughter. Instead of missing her, you will have to worry about three of us now". And quietly, unobtrusively Yash inserted his son and himself into the Dubey family circle. Shobha hugged Yash and Satyendra smiled. Finally he was relieved - now he knew for sure that Arti would be well cared for.

After the emotional goodnight, Vidhi brought Arti back to the living room, where the Shankars were waiting to say their goodbyes. Yash had gone to put Ansh to bed.

Sunaina hugged Arti and pulled Vidhi towards them. Then, in a mock stern tone, she told her daughters, "Vidhi, you are the jethani here. But make sure you look after my younger daughter. She should always be happy and..."

"Yes Mummy", Vidhi grinned happily, as she joined the two in a group hug. "I will make sure our laadli is always happy."

As his parents left, Pratik pulled at one of the tendrils of Arti's hair that had come loose from her knot. Now that he had her full attention, he whispered, just loud enough for the three of them to hear, "Well Gundididi, all ready for your suhaag raat?"

Arti felt as if she had been sucker-punched, felt her stomach dropping to the floor, the comment leaving her ice-cold to the touch. Vidhi gave a furious glare to Pratik and pulled him along with her, practically pushing him out the front door. "What's wrong with you, you idiot? You know this is not a normal marriage and yet..." she started angrily.

"And you never want this to turn into a normal marriage Didi?" Pratik asked, effectively halting Vidhi in mid-sentence. She turned a sharp gaze at him as he continued, "I know my Gundididi, even if you don't. She will be happy to spend the rest of her life as Ansh's mother, never making an effort to be anything more than that, believing she does not deserve anything more than that. If you want her to be happy, to love again Didi, you will have to push her out of her comfort zone. Shatter the illusions she encases herself with, make her so prickly and touchy that she can't help but think about Yash as more than Ansh's father."

Vidhi was stunned into silence, her mouth still open. Gently shutting her mouth closed with a finger, Pratik bent and whispered in her ear, "Think about it Di. Make her as uncomfortable as a cat on a hot tin roof."  Then with a grin and a wink he was gone.

_____________________

Suhaag raat? The knot of tension was back with a vengeance now, crushing her diaphragm, making it difficult to breathe. Idiot that she was she had never even given a thought to the... logistics of the marriage. Pratik's words brought the reality rushing in, giving her goose-bumps. She would have to share a room with Yashji she thought in dismay. Perhaps there would be a couch and then at least they would not have to share a bed... Not that she did not trust him. She just hadn't thought about having to live in such close quarters with another person... another male, a male who was not Prashant.

As she chastised herself for her complete oversight of the obvious, Vidhi came back from seeing her parents and Pratik out. Seeing the pale Arti she followed her instincts. "Ignore that idiot Arti. Do you need me to remind you of what you said when I was terrified of getting married?"

Arti smiled slightly as she remembered Vidhi's pre-wedding jitters. Vidhi continued, "You know what a dork Pratik can be. Mind in the gutter I tell you - don't know when that idiot will grow-up."

She reminded Arti about some of Pratik's latest antics and as the colour returned to her face, Vidhi thought time enough to apply Pratik's formula. Right now, Arti needed some tender loving care, from some one other than her new husband.

As if on cue, Ansh came running to them, or rather waddling as rapidly as his little legs would carry him. Payal followed right behind. Ansh ignored the other adults around and made a beeline for Arti. As she bent down on her knees and held out her arms, he climbed right onto her lap. Then he turned and looked victoriously at Payal and declared, "My Mamma."

"Silly Baby. That is exactly what I was trying to explain to you. Arti Maasi is your Mamma now" Payal said, adding in an irritated tone, "Baby!"

"Payal Arti Scindia." Her full name on her mother's lips brought a belated realization - boy, was she in trouble!

Payal turned innocent eyes towards her mother. Crossing her arms over her chest Vidhi asked her, "What are you doing up? And why did you wake Ansh?"

"I didn't wake him up" Payal protested.

"Payal!" the stern tone squelched whatever excuses she had. Her face scrunching up, close to tears she could not hold in, Payal blubbered, "I - I could not sleep. So I - I went to Ansh and told him all about Arti Maasi being his mother. I did not know he was sleeping Mummy, sacchi" she pleaded innocence for the worse offence of waking him up.

"Shhh, its ok my love" Arti cooed softly, both to Ansh who was trying to fit his head into the nook between her neck and shoulder, and to the visibly upset Payal fast approaching tantrum-mode. Recognizing the signs as well Vidhi picked her daughter up. She pointed to Ansh and raised her eyebrows at Arti who nodded back at her reassuringly. She was his mother now, she would put him back to sleep.

An excellent notion except that little Mr. Scindia was wide awake now and in no mood to go back to sleep. Suspecting he was hungry now that he was awake, Arti got some milk from the kitchen. To her surprise though, he took a sip and pushed the bottle away. He went towards a chest in the corner, which Arti was to find out later contained his toys, when he encountered solid resistance.

Yash had delayed coming to his room for as long as he could, hoping Arti would be asleep by the time he got there. Eventually though he had run out of excuses to keep his tired brother occupied with him and Pankaj had finally left him at the door of his room, threatening to strangle him if he heard his voice before morning. Yash took in the situation at a glance.

"Is that regular milk?" he asked. When Arti nodded he said, "He will need formula added to it. He rarely wakes up at night, but when he does, he needs formula mixed with milk to help him get back to sleep." He had pulled out the formula and measured it into the bottle while he spoke. Shaking the bottle, making sure the powder mixed well into the warm milk, he picked Ansh up, sat down on the edge of the bed and gave his hungry son the bottle. Ansh looked at him adoringly while drinking the milk and finally fell asleep holding on to his father's finger. The bottle slipped out from his mouth and Yash patted him on the back making him burp in his sleep before he put his son down on the bed.

Arti stood on the other side of the bed, watching. She did not know what to do with herself and felt left-out - father-son obviously had their routine figured out.

Straightening up Yash must have read some of her feelings on her face for he said gently, "Give it some time Artiji. You have seen Ansh only on a few occasions. You will soon learn all about him."

Nodding at his words, Arti glanced around the room for she was suddenly very conscious of him. That is when she realized there was no couch in the room. Where was she going to sleep? she thought in a panic. Even Vidhi had gone to bed by now. Oh lord, what was she to do now?

Perhaps he read her thoughts again, or perhaps his mind was along similar lines because Yash said, "I am afraid Artiji there is no couch or anything here. If you want one, I can arrange for another bed tomorrow. For tonight at least, we will need to adjust. Ansh and I sleep together – you can sleep on his other side." Saying so, Yash removed the pillows from behind Ansh, making enough room for Arti to lie down there.

"And the bathroom is there, if you want to change" he said, pointing to a door in one corner.

Arti nodded her thanks and fishing out an old salwar-kurta from a suitcase, she went into the bathroom and closing the door leaned her forehead against it, taking in deep breaths. She had never felt so embarrassed in her life. How could she have been so stupid not to realize she would be sharing the same room with Yashji?

Hearing a slight sound outside, she quickly straightened. Changing into her old, comfortable dress, she walked out of the bathroom with the evening's outfit draped over her arms. She was then faced with a new problem - where was she to keep her clothes.

Yash seemed to be clairvoyant that night. Seeing her hesitate outside the bathroom door, her hands full, he went to a section of the floor-to-ceiling closets and opened the door. Arti took in the sight of the empty cupboards and quickly hung up her outfit, placing the jewelry on a shelf there as well. She would put everything away tomorrow.

Without another word, Yash went into the bathroom and Arti practically scuttled into bed. She pulled the quilt up to her chin, careful of not covering Ansh's head. By the time Yash came out of the bathroom, she had her eyes firmly closed, pretending to be asleep.

Even after an hour of lying with their eyes firmly shut, neither was any closer to sleep. They were acutely aware of the other's presence and lay stiff and unmoving at two corners of the large bed. It was only when the sleeping Ansh sighed and threw his limbs over his parents, his legs thumping onto Yash's stomach while his arms landed on Arti's, only then did they turn around to face Ansh, their eyes still firmly closed. Subconsciously Arti gave in to her childhood habit and slipped her palm under the little baby's back while Yash draped his arm on Ansh, pinning him in place. Finally, sleep claimed the two exhausted souls for itself, and they slept, cradling the source of their connection between them, securing him as he slept on between his now complete family.