Chapter 10 - Don't hit him
The women
turned Ashvath to look at her. She stuffed the milk bottle into his mouth.
Tears flowed down his eyes with pain of the sudden force. Mitali pushed the
bottle deeper into his mouth, widening his mouth. His jaw started to hurt he
tried to move back but Mitali held his head in place. He struggled to breath
then started chocking at the bottle was pushed as deep as she could be. Tanya
finally pulled the bottle out once there was no trace of milk left in the
bottle.
Ashvath
struggled for breath once the bottle was out. He tried to take long breaths but
found it hard. His eyes had turned red, tears now covered his small face.
Mitali
abruptly dropped him on the floor. He landed on his knees. Still finding it
hard to breath he lifted his body up to stand straight. No matter how much he
was beaten, hurt, tortured he never gave up, he never gave in. He was his
parent's son giving in wasn't in his blood. He fought and stood strong like his
name.
"You
ran from me for to many days" Tanya said and lifted her hand in the air.
To slap him!
"Don't
touch him" I shouted from the other side or the corridor. The women froze
in her actions. Her hand still hanging in the air as she turned my direction.
She saw my eyes burning with rage, my face red with anger. She quickly moved
her hand to the side of her face. As if nothing happened as if she wasn't about
to do what I saw. I ran up to Ashvath and bend down to his level.
"What
do you mean?..." She said stroking the side of her face speaking
innocently
"Don't"
I shook my head not looking at. Picking up the crying Ashvath in my arms.
"Don't hit him," I turned towards her. "Don't you ever" I said
gritting my teeth. I hid Ashvath head close to my neck. Sheltering him from the
world. Not showing him the fire burning out of my eyes. At the women in front
of me.
I walked
away from her back in the direction I came. I carried the child who was once a bundle
of joy now crying in pain. To the garden they had near the hospital cafe. I sat
on a small wooden bench I tried to pull Ashvath out but he hid. I leant back on
the bench making him comfortable in my hold. I stoked his back letting his tears
flow. Letting his emotions arise in front of me. A small part of me knew Arnav
had no idea of what was going on. It knew Ashvath hadn't shown his pain to his father just like his father wouldn't
show his.
I could
hear him stiffening. He finally looked up at me. I gently wiped his tears with
my hands. I cared his face wanting to wipe the stains. Hoping it would also
wipe the fear that was also in his heart.
I picked
him up and walked to a small fish pond in front of us. I made him stand on his
small legs. I pointed to the tiny fish swimming in the water. A small smile appeared
on his face his mind was diverted. I put my hand in the water which he copied.
We touched one of the glittering orange fishes. He laughed as the slimy texture
touched its skin. I smiled as his innocence returned once again. He moved his
hand around the water touching the fishes, laughing freely like he always did.
Like he did making my heart jump in joy.
"Mamma
look" he said pointing to a small blue fish. "Mamma fit" (mamma fish)
He reached
for it but missed. He tried again but missed. He stretched his arm further in
the water. I quickly picked him up before he went too far. I dropped him on my
lap and shook my head. He made a sad face and looked down. I could see the
hidden smirk behind his face. He was just like his father. I stretched my own
arm and brought the fish close to him so he could touch it. He started jumping
on my lap touching it with a huge smile.
The peace I
felt in my heart was indescribable. I just knew that the pull this child had on
me was something no one would understand. His happiness, his smile, his luxury meant
the world to me. It light my darkened would.
"Mamma
boo" (mamma
blue) he said touching the fish.
"What
are you doing?" I heard a voice I wish I didn't want to at this moment. It
was ruining the peace I felt right now. "You were brought her to look
after your husband not HIS son." I felt Ashvath grip the side of my top.
Once again my heart race when I realized why he did that. He was scare!
She put her
hand out to touch the child. I held my mother-in-laws hand in place I didn't
turn to look at her. I held Ashvath with my other hand. My words were cold, and
rough. "Don't touch him" is all I said I glanced at her once. She saw
the fire in my eyes then back away. No one was going to touch this child right
now. No one was going to mess with me right now.
Once she
was gone I made Ashvath stand in front of me I sat on my knees to his level. He
was smiling once again once Mrs Raizarda had left. Sometimes it stunned me how
fast he would overcome and forget his fear. I put my hand on his cheek.
"Do
they always hit you?" I asked with a straight face, my voice low and eyes
in line with his. My voice showed worry, my touch showed care. My heart ponded
fearing of what I would hear. But I hadn't expected what he did next.
My hand
dropped to the side as he wrapped his arms around my neck. It was out of fear
but love. "Mamma tak to Ashu" (mamma talk to Ashu) he said.
I was
shocked my hands trembled as they wrapped around him. I knew I hadn't said a
word directly to him since I arrived but I hadn't thought he realized. I had
underestimated this child. I had thought he was fine with what I was doing. But
Now I knew deep in his heart he was crying to hear me speak to him not only
comfort and protect him but to love him verbally.
"Ashvath!"
He pulled back and looked at my face he could now see the worry. He nodded a
yes! Answering my question.
"Who"
"Evei
oo" (everyone!) He said looking down. I pulled him into my hold again.
I didn't know what he went thought but I would find out. I sat him on my lap
his legs dangling on my right side. I held him close to me and gave a small
smile.
"How?"
I asked not wanting to hid anymore. He played with his fingers. "Tell
me" I said and he looked up at me. "I'm here!". He held the side
of my top.
"Daa..."
He stared blankly at the pond I kissed him on his head urging him to continue.
I knew it was hard. It was hard work to get Arnav to tell me things and this
was his son "daa may ashu li flur" (dada make me lie on the floor.) He jumped off my lap and lied on his stomach on
the floor. My heart cried at him. For a blink of a second seeing him like this
was unbearable. I got him to get up.
"Why?"
Is all I could say.
"Daa
tay ashu be papa"(Dada say to be like dad). "Papa aami
ashu aami" (dad's
in the army and Ashvath will be to)
I could
just imagine how long he would be force to lie on the floor for. I kissed his forehead
and stroked his cheek. I wasn't sure if I would be able to hear anymore. Just
the first thought was killing me inside. I felt sick with the image in my head. Ashvath lying on the cold floor of
Raizarda mansion.
"Ashu
run dadi" (Ashuvath
run's for dadi) he continued. He
started running away from me to the far end of the garden. I ran behind him
when I saw he was going to run back to me I stopping him in his tracks. It was
a small garden but still too big for his small legs.
"Stop"
I shouted then walked up to him and picked him up in my arms. He handed me a
flower I hadn't seen him pick up.
"Dadi
teee" (Dadi's
tea) I then understood what the
flower signified. 'He wasn't their
servant, he was a small child' I thought.
He kissed
my cheek when I was looking away he slide the flower in my hand into my hair. I
could just imagine how bad it looked being places badly. I sat on the grass and
he sat in front of me with his legs crossed. He was smiling broadly. I bent
down and ruffled his hair. He quickly tried to fix it making me giggle
inside.
"Cota
daa" (chote
dada) I realized he wasn't done
yet. He broke the grass and was putting it in his mouth. I held his hand before
it entered his mouth. "Cota daa tay Ashu eat vegi"
(Chote Dada says Ashvath's only allowed
to eat vegetables)
Ashvath
mouth made a disgust face. His small nose scrunched, lips press together and he
shook his head. I could see him having to eat only bad vegetables. He started crushing
the grass together "daa Ashu may vegi juc" (Chote Dada makes Ashvath drink vegetable
juice) I threw the grass left in
his hand on the floor and kissed his hand that I held in my own.
"You'll
eat what you want now" I said he smiled at me again. He had away to push
the memories back always after recalling them. It was like he didn't let them
shadow over his happiness.
"Wewe"
(really)
"Anything
Ashu wants"
"Yay!"
He jumped and started running around me in circles. He then jumped on to my
back. I reached for his head and my hands accidently covered his eyes.
"Mamma" he said his hold around me tightened. There was a fear inside
him that I felt. I put my arms around his legs and brought him to my front. I
put my hand on his cheek.
"What's
wrong?" His legs were now trembling. "Ashu" I said
"Mamma"
his voice was broken he was remembering something scary. Something I was
dreading to hear.
"Coti
dadi" is all he said I quickly pulled him in my embrace. "Close Ashu
duke room" (locked
Ashvath in a dark room.)
I brought
his hand to my lips and kissed it. I knew what he could be feeling. After all I
too was afraid of the dark. There was no way of me to know how many times all
these sickening activities were carried out on him. But I knew ever one was
enough for me to make them to suffer a life time.
"No
one will ever hurt you again" I told him "no one!!" He pulled
back and nodded.
He face
suddenly went hard when he saw someone standing at the glass door entrance of
the garden. "Seti" (Sheetal) he said in low voice. I turned
around and saw her. I wanted to scream, scout, KILL. But Ashvath was in my
arms. I calmed down and pulled him close to me. I gazed at her for a second with narrow eyes. She read my anger, she felt
a cold breeze run through her body. She quickly turned and ran. She got my
warning, she understood she was in trouble. 'For what she would learn really soon' I thought.
"Seti hate Ashu." (Sheetal hates
Ashvath) I heard him say into my chest.
"Who
said that to you?" I asked rubbing his back.
"Seti"
(Sheetal)
it was a whisper.
"Why
do you call her by her name?" I knew he wasn't a child to disrespect his
elders.
"Seti
hurt Ashu. Ashu no tay bua." (Sheetal hurts
Ashvath, Ashvath no longer say Bua)His hand unconsciously moved to
his cheek. It didn't take me even a second to realized she slap him. I pulled
him back and kissed his small chubby cheek. I wanted my kisses to wipe away all
those memories, all those incidence.
I knew I
would break soon and that was exactly what happened. I felt tears sliding down
my cheek. I was crushing him in the process, insuring he was fine, sheltering
him from those people. He was young, guiltless, with no sins but he was treated
like a criminal. He wiped mu tears like he had the first time he was in my
arms. He still had the power to make the pain wash away. He was a gift to me
that no one would understand.
The flower
was slipping from my head he caught it then slid it back in my hair.
"Mamma
butipu" (mamma's
beautiful) he said in a cute voice.
"Really"
I said and raised an eyebrow. I noticed his eyes were no longer on me. I turned
around and saw a little girl in a yellow frock. He smiled at the girl but she
looked away. I laughed as Ashvath's smile drop he then smirked at the girl
watching her from the top of his eyes. The girl smiled back at him. I shook my
head at the two then looked at the father of the little girl. He looked at Ashvath
with narrow eyes. I understood that and quickly picked him rotating him to face
the other way. I kissed his cheek and said "don't do that her dad will
shout." He laughed and hugged me from the side.
"Ashu
papa best! Ashu papa no chot." (Ashvath's dad's the best he never shouts at Ashvath).
He took the
flower and ran to the girl. He gave the girl the flower and ran back to me
before the father could say a word. I smiled at this antics but inside I was
breaking thinking about everything.
Everyone
had hurt him but his father. Over the last 2 years. There was nothing I could
do then there was nothing I could do now. I hurt me inside every word he said
had pricked my heart, shattered my soul. I couldn't even blame Arnav for not
protecting him. His work would keep him away from Ashvath for months. He probably
would be fully aware of what was going on in his absence. And Ashvath had never
shown his fear to his father. This was probable the first time he had shared
his pain with anyone.
"yes he's
the best" I said picking him up and getting up myself. "not lets go in" I said
walking to the door.
"Ashu ant
to pay" (Ashvath
want to play) he said
"After a
nap" I smiled at him. When I got back to the hallway it was clear no sign of any
of the Raizarda's. This was nothing unusual they would avoid coming to the hospital
as much as they could. 'they didn't really
care about my husband' I thought.
I walked
into the room and saw Arnav watching TV "where were you two?" he asked
"In Grass" (in garden) Ashvath said when I placed him on the bed.
"And what were you doing there?" Arnav asked picking Ashvath in his
arms. His body stiffened for a second then went back to normal. "He was
flirting with girls" I said laying him down next to Arnav. "He's just like you"
I moved back after putting the blanket on him
"I wish he was more like me" Arnav said sliding in next to him.
"Then who's he more like" I asked picking up the remote from the side of
the bed to turning off the TV.
"mamma" Ashvath shouted I shook my head and kissed his forehead.
"go to sleep" I whispered in his ear. " I need to make some calls for
work, will be outside" I said and walked out.
Arnav watched the small encounter between mother and son. He had waited
years to see his son get this sort of love from his mamma. He had waited years
to see his love share her love. He had waited years to see this joy on his son's
face. She had finally spoken to him. He could see how this small action had
light up his son's face. Completing his incomplete life. He now had all the
happiness he deserved. His childhood was no fully complete. He pulled the
smiling Ashvath closer to him. "Are you happy now?" Arnav asked he just nodded
in an excited manner.
"papa, ashu want mamma" he said shifting out of Arnav's hold.
"What the! You don't like to sleep with me anymore" Arnav asked looking
down at his son. He shook his head in a no. Arnav tried to show a sad face. Pressing
his lips together to hid his smile.
"Peas" (please)
Arnav knew his son wouldn't be able to sleep without his
mamma. So he agreed
"Go check outside the door, she's probable
still standing there, if not come back in." Arnav place him on the floor.
***
"Akash I have
a few jobs I need you to do"
"yes ma'am"
he replied.
"Akash
cap the Raizarda's accounts." I said into the phone
"How
much? There already capped at..." I cut him off
"Not
the millions their getting. Cap them to how much I did two years ago" I said
into the phone trying to control my anger
"You
mean..." Akash's voice no shoed slight fear. He knew if his boss has made
this move it was just the start
"Yep!
The bear minimum." I said knowing they wouldn't be able to survive on the
hundred they were about to receive
"But
ma'am the last time you cut off their accounts..."
"Akash
the first time I did it you know they had tried to push me down the stairs when
I was pregnant." I remembered the incident they were he was thinking of.
"Ma'am
but this time."
"I want all
the servants at Raizarda Mansion on sabbatical, till I say. No one should be
working there no watchman, no chef, no cleaners and no drivers other than one
coming to the hospital."
"Will be
done ma'am" I said without questioning he knew they would be a reason behind
what I do.
"All food shelves
should be emptied but vegetables. Electricity should be cut off." I added to
the list
They treated
him like a servant now they would be one. They trapped him in a room now they
would be trapped in their home. They made him stay in a dark room now they
would have no light. They made him eat nasty food now they would starve. They made
him lie on the floor. Now I would make them beg!
"Then
they TRIDE to hurt me and my child. This time they HAVE hurt my child" I
said not realizing what I had said.
"Mamma"
I heard a voice from behind. Ashvath had walked out of Arnav's room rubbing his
eyes.
"What
are you doing out of bed? Didn't I put you to sleep" I walked up to him
and picked him up.
"Hmm"
he said hiding his head on my neck. I pulled his head back slightly to look at
him.
"Don't
act like your sleeping! I know that trick" he laughed and gave me a big
smile.
"Who
mamma tek to?" (Who's mamma talking to). Before I could say anything he took the phone out
of my hand "helo Who dis" (hello who's this)
he said with authority
like I would in a meeting,
"I'm
Akash little champ and you?"
"Papa
tay no talk to engers" (papa say not to talk to strangers) I stood stunned at his attitude.
"But
your mamma knows me" Akash said in
a sweet voice.
"ashu no
noh you" (Ashvath
no know you) he said. He shook his head slowly. I held the side of
the phone so it wouldn't fall.
"Then let
me tell you who I am'." He was cut off by Ashvath
"Okay
ash sleepy mamma go Bye" he said and cut the call my jaw dropped.
"ashu" I said
looking down at him. He just gave me an innocent look and yawned. I carried him
back inside and sat on the couch with him in my arms putting him to sleep. Never
was I going to let anyone hurt him again. I looked up at Arnav who was just
watching us like we were a show on TV. I raised a brow and he just shook his
head and looked towards the door as the nurse walked in with his meal. He had a
smirk on his face once he had turned his face. A small tear drop fell from his
eye which I did not see that he quickly wiped away. His life was back together.
He had wanted this before Ashvath was born. His dream was whole now!
Precap- What happened to his mum?
been a bit lazy with self defence but will have a Character Description up by tomorrow http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3696090&PID=89688286�">Self Defence
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