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The Dating Game (removed) (Page 28)

infiresmayn Senior Member
infiresmayn
infiresmayn

Joined: 20 March 2012
Posts: 612

Posted: 11 April 2013 at 11:19am | IP Logged
Originally posted by arisai

Originally posted by MsIPKKNDManic

GAHH PayAsh gushiness overload right there! It reminds me so much of Jane & Bing from TLBD Day Dreaming

I like that you're showing a little bit of everything from everyone's POV - we've had ASR, Khushi, Akaash and now this one was Payal's - you're not sidelining any character and you're giving them all an almost equal standing within the story, if that makes sense? 

Oh! So ASR has a cat too?! First cackling, and now a ca- oh, sorry, a FamiliarROFL

I'm honestly surprised that after turning on his chair and stroking the cat's fur, he didn't say something like "I've been expecting you"! LOL

And I like seeing this Akash as being the kind of person who isn't afraid to stick up to his unpredictable elder brother; as seen in the way he was retorting brilliantly to everything ASR said. 

OOOH! Khushi's pretty much just cannonballed into the room and she's not happy at all seeing him there, is she?! ROFL

Ahh this encounter looks like it's going to be ... feisty

Also, I really don't want to seem like a nitpicker, but when you're describing the kind of clothes that they design, you say "as inspired by the long coat-like thing" 

I've read quite a bit of your previous works to know that you usually go into a lot of details with things, and that everything is described so intricately and with wonderful finesse. Seeing that single line, I was a tad thrown off, because it wasn't something I'd expect to see from a wonderful writer like yourself, if you get me? Maybe I'm merely over-thinking (which wouldn't be anything new, tbh LOL ) ... Please don't take me wrong though; I've absolutely loved everything else, it's just that I noticed and so I thought I should tell you Smile

Oooh, the 'long-coatlike thing' was Khushi's 'voice' if you get what I mean (I know you do you little genius, you already noticed everyone's getting their say). I wanted to try and show that Khushi herself has absolutely no idea about anything fashion related and just has blind faith in and loyalty to Payal's abilities so may be er... somewhat biased in her "OMG EVERYTHING SHE MAKES IS FANTASTIC AND BRILLIANT OMG!" LOL


I've already written the next chapter and Khushi's 'bias' as well as her lack of knowledge on the matter becomes obvious when her and Arnav start with their verbal war and Payal is caught in the middle of it- as are her designs. Hehehe, I love that you love that I pay attention to details- and this was one such detail :) 

Thanks for the long spiel of love and also for being honest about what didn't sit right as well. I'd rather explain it than leave you thinking "What? BUT WHY?!" Wink

a-ha! I had a fleeting thought that that was in fact why it was there, but I still mentioned it, just in case LOL 

MEEEP update quick then! I BHANTS TO SEE(READ) THIS VERBAL WAR Big smile

haha all your compliments are like ghee to the fire that is my insatiable ego - mesa likeyyy WinkROFL

And it's really not a problemo - you deserve it, therefore I say it Smile 

And thank you muchacho for explaining it to mehh ^_^ 

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

arisai

crazymg.04 Goldie
crazymg.04
crazymg.04

Joined: 14 March 2012
Posts: 999

Posted: 11 April 2013 at 11:40am | IP Logged
LOLOMG...hillariousBig smile
Cant wait to know what happens nextWink

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arisai

rvas Goldie
rvas
rvas

Joined: 20 February 2012
Posts: 1286

Posted: 11 April 2013 at 11:55am | IP Logged
read it all in one go and loved loved loved it

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arisai

emistry IF-Dazzler
emistry
emistry

Joined: 09 February 2012
Posts: 3440

Posted: 11 April 2013 at 12:27pm | IP Logged
Oh very nicely done!! I am absolutely loving every character in this story! I agree Payal and Akash are adorable... I can just imagine the look on thier faces... Loved the karate chop!!

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arisai

SADYA41 Groupbie
SADYA41
SADYA41

Joined: 04 July 2012
Posts: 176

Posted: 11 April 2013 at 12:33pm | IP Logged
Took a break from chemistry revision to read this and believe me I would much rather spend my day reading your work than revisiting craboxylic acids and such like.
Love arnav and akashs relationship. The part where arnav is stroking the cat nearly killed me. And I can't wait for the next update to see how arnav reacts to khushis appearance! (Leaving us at a cliffhanger like that is evil) xxx

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arisai

drunkiiebabe IF-Sizzlerz
drunkiiebabe
drunkiiebabe

Joined: 27 August 2010
Posts: 22900

Posted: 11 April 2013 at 12:45pm | IP Logged
Hilarious update
Cant wait for arnav n khushi come face to face
Payal n Akash r adorable

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arisai

DrNoureen Senior Member
DrNoureen
DrNoureen

Joined: 14 February 2012
Posts: 676

Posted: 11 April 2013 at 12:46pm | IP Logged
Oweee my babies Payal and Akash, they are cho choo chooo cute LOLEmbarrassed

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arisai

blackdice1001 Goldie
blackdice1001
blackdice1001

Joined: 04 April 2012
Posts: 1434

Posted: 11 April 2013 at 12:51pm | IP Logged
You're right Payash was the most adorable couple. Before Payal became a walking fountain and Akash started promoting fifty shades of pink.
Great chapter Rafa! :D

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

arisai

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