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Madhubala - Ek Ishq Ek Junoon
Madhubala - Ek Ishq Ek Junoon

RK-Systematically Victimizing Madhu While... (Page 16)

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Posted: 10 April 2013 at 7:46pm | IP Logged
siri - thanks. so the casual hitting smack we do to our friends and everything while laughing or teasing or sometimes just push each other away makes us abusers. i get it. so yeah dont bother to reply back to an abuser. :D So even the bullies in school are not misguided children who need counselling but beaters and batterers who are psychopaths. nice to know. :)

Edited by Escape.My.Love. - 10 April 2013 at 7:47pm

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Posted: 10 April 2013 at 7:55pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Escape.My.Love.

siri - thanks. so the casual hitting smack we do to our friends and everything while laughing or teasing or sometimes just push each other away makes us abusers. i get it. so yeah dont bother to reply back to an abuser. :D So even the bullies in school are not misguided children who need counselling but beaters and batterers who are psychopaths. nice to know. :)
school bullying is mostly an act of misguided school kids and they need counselling but the act of bullying itself whether school or not is divided into physical and emotional abuse...so while the child who bullies may not be an abuser but the victim is a victim of abuse...cliched but this is what it is...

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Posted: 10 April 2013 at 7:58pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by mytinypaintings

Originally posted by Escape.My.Love.

Oh_No_Soaps - I completely disagree  in some points. Do you even how know delicate it is to actually term someone and classify someone as a psychopath? Do we not sometimes hit people around us out of vent just like that? So are we abusers? Emotional abuse has variant forms and if we closely see then normal people like us do it as well , but that does not make us beaters or abusers. Ignorance and covert abuse\passive abuse  is seemed to be a big category of abuse within emotional abuse as well which Madhu herself is doing now. When they were together , if I am not wrong Madhu used to inflict violence back and according to Johnson's categories of violence , what Rishbala do is "mutual violence control" [ MVC]. The thing about power relations within Rishbaala through control and violence has been discussed in the discussion threads many times. As in who takes the particular control of the other of showing them the "right way" through dominating them inflicts in mutual violence. It is said to be the most rare form of violence found. Madhu subjects to violence against him too , but not to always defend herself but sometimes to gain the right hand in trying to show RK that who is the boss over here and who is "right" in what they want to do. Madhu's notion of right is seen to what people see as right ie morality and RK's notion of right is seen as dominance. But both to establish their rights fight for that power through mutual violence. Nobody seems to even understand the dilemma and delicacy surrounding the diagnosis of labeling someone as abusive , because many people have different cases and just cause one hits it is not always cause it is pathological or psychopathic. Broken family and abusive childhood and traumatic events make it hard for many men to live stable lives and they cannot control that forever aggression inside them that directs as physical lashing. And one cannot say that whatever the reason - they are abusers . Branding people with traumatic experiences to be labeled something this harsh just cause those dilemmas have never been taken cared of for years is the very reason why people still are so reluctant to go for counselling and psychoanalysis. They are so scared of facing their problems because of the harsh labels society brands them in. Just cause one is ignorant about the variation of experiences one can multiply experience in this life , people overlook those not even wondering if they would be half as stable as them if they were in their shoes and easily label them as abusers. People that also professional helpers are very very careful in when understanding and choosing in terming someone as abusive. And here this word is being made in to a joke.RK does not physically do anything and emotional abuse is also something we ourselves do so are we abusers then? Even people who physically abuse are first observed for many days before terming them to be an abuser or not.  And here the word is been randomly thrown everywhere. The delicacy of the word and the difficulty in diagnosing this word for so many sorts of people is next to impossible for every professional psychologist. 
you make some really valid points viz a viz their mutual relationship and also how much of an analysis and observation goes into before some one is termed as sociopath. I wont deny that I too have not accepted this term for RK fully. He does have some very remarkable differences from a typical psychopath but then he does meet most of the criterias. so far Madhus violence goes most of it was either a result of self defence mechanism or ethical battle as you have said ...while in mutual relationship your observation stands correct but the reason makes all the ammount of difference required. SO while your reasoning does have some valid points  but it fails to put their relation in the category of mutual violence control.
whenever madhu has tried to put her notion on RK , it has never been because of situations but it has been because of who he is , what he has become  and what he does as a character, similar for RK's case with Madhu as he tried to control her because of the situation as she had began in trying to show RK his place.Don't tell me it was only cause of morality cause after their first meet Madhu's intention from saving a stranger had switched to showing RK's fake world , his big fat ego and pride to be shown its place for the reason Padmini had told her after their first meet that this is NOT about fighting what is right for Mukund anymore, it is another battle between them both altogether.And Padmini was spot on right. It 's mutual power struggle for both that sometimes is used by using violence from both sides. emotional violence vs emotional violence and physical violence that does not border on continuous beating and battering for hours as is the case with many abusers. Both control each other using violence. anyway. 

Edited by Escape.My.Love. - 10 April 2013 at 8:00pm

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Posted: 10 April 2013 at 8:04pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by mytinypaintings

Originally posted by Escape.My.Love.

siri - thanks. so the casual hitting smack we do to our friends and everything while laughing or teasing or sometimes just push each other away makes us abusers. i get it. so yeah dont bother to reply back to an abuser. :D So even the bullies in school are not misguided children who need counselling but beaters and batterers who are psychopaths. nice to know. :)
school bullying is mostly an act of misguided school kids and they need counselling but the act of bullying itself whether school or not is divided into physical and emotional abuse...so while the child who bullies may not be an abuser but the victim is a victim of abuse...cliched but this is what it is...
yes a victim does remain a victim , and yes bullies use emotional violence as well . they on purpose make it targeted in your head that everything about you is ugly disgusting and that you should never show your face to the world and there are extreme measures some bullies do to make people feel  that way about themselves..youll see many victims cut all their hair off or hide their faces with hair cause it has been penetrated somewhere by them through words\emotional abuse that they are ugly and everything bad. emotional abuse is there big time especially in girl bullying. 

Edited by Escape.My.Love. - 10 April 2013 at 8:06pm

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Posted: 10 April 2013 at 8:05pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Escape.My.Love.

Originally posted by mytinypaintings

Originally posted by Escape.My.Love.

Oh_No_Soaps - I completely disagree  in some points. Do you even how know delicate it is to actually term someone and classify someone as a psychopath? Do we not sometimes hit people around us out of vent just like that? So are we abusers? Emotional abuse has variant forms and if we closely see then normal people like us do it as well , but that does not make us beaters or abusers. Ignorance and covert abuse\passive abuse  is seemed to be a big category of abuse within emotional abuse as well which Madhu herself is doing now. When they were together , if I am not wrong Madhu used to inflict violence back and according to Johnson's categories of violence , what Rishbala do is "mutual violence control" [ MVC]. The thing about power relations within Rishbaala through control and violence has been discussed in the discussion threads many times. As in who takes the particular control of the other of showing them the "right way" through dominating them inflicts in mutual violence. It is said to be the most rare form of violence found. Madhu subjects to violence against him too , but not to always defend herself but sometimes to gain the right hand in trying to show RK that who is the boss over here and who is "right" in what they want to do. Madhu's notion of right is seen to what people see as right ie morality and RK's notion of right is seen as dominance. But both to establish their rights fight for that power through mutual violence. Nobody seems to even understand the dilemma and delicacy surrounding the diagnosis of labeling someone as abusive , because many people have different cases and just cause one hits it is not always cause it is pathological or psychopathic. Broken family and abusive childhood and traumatic events make it hard for many men to live stable lives and they cannot control that forever aggression inside them that directs as physical lashing. And one cannot say that whatever the reason - they are abusers . Branding people with traumatic experiences to be labeled something this harsh just cause those dilemmas have never been taken cared of for years is the very reason why people still are so reluctant to go for counselling and psychoanalysis. They are so scared of facing their problems because of the harsh labels society brands them in. Just cause one is ignorant about the variation of experiences one can multiply experience in this life , people overlook those not even wondering if they would be half as stable as them if they were in their shoes and easily label them as abusers. People that also professional helpers are very very careful in when understanding and choosing in terming someone as abusive. And here this word is being made in to a joke.RK does not physically do anything and emotional abuse is also something we ourselves do so are we abusers then? Even people who physically abuse are first observed for many days before terming them to be an abuser or not.  And here the word is been randomly thrown everywhere. The delicacy of the word and the difficulty in diagnosing this word for so many sorts of people is next to impossible for every professional psychologist. 
you make some really valid points viz a viz their mutual relationship and also how much of an analysis and observation goes into before some one is termed as sociopath. I wont deny that I too have not accepted this term for RK fully. He does have some very remarkable differences from a typical psychopath but then he does meet most of the criterias. so far Madhus violence goes most of it was either a result of self defence mechanism or ethical battle as you have said ...while in mutual relationship your observation stands correct but the reason makes all the ammount of difference required. SO while your reasoning does have some valid points  but it fails to put their relation in the category of mutual violence control.
whenever madhu has tried to put her notion on RK , it has never been because of situations but it has been because of who he is , what he has become  and what he does as a character, similar for RK's case with Madhu as he tried to control her because of the situation as she had began in trying to show RK his place.Don't tell me it was only cause of morality cause after their first meet Madhu's intention from saving a stranger had switched to showing RK's fake world , his big fat ego and pride to be shown its place for the reason Padmini had told her after their first meet that this is NOT about fighting what is right for Mukund anymore, it is another battle between them both altogether.And Padmini was spot on right. It 's mutual power struggle for both that sometimes is used by using violence from both sides. emotional violence vs emotional violence and physical violence that does not border on continuous beating and battering for hours as is the case with many abusers. Both control each other using violence. anyway. 
well the initial episode I have never seen so I wont be able to add anything to it. I never said it was only on morality issue...it was also self defence mechanism...she retaliated when ever she was hurt...I quite remember the point where he forced her into the marriage and the way he forced her...then what is really putting me on the cliff viz a viz RK is his way in which he inflicted his final blow...Marital altar and then the chawl scene...That first brought me to attention...at that point there was no power play left...similarly his inflicting wound to himself knowing that Madhu will not be able to bear it also raises red flags too 

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Posted: 10 April 2013 at 8:07pm | IP Logged
mytinypaintings - agreed.

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Posted: 10 April 2013 at 8:08pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Escape.My.Love.

Originally posted by mytinypaintings

Originally posted by Escape.My.Love.

siri - thanks. so the casual hitting smack we do to our friends and everything while laughing or teasing or sometimes just push each other away makes us abusers. i get it. so yeah dont bother to reply back to an abuser. :D So even the bullies in school are not misguided children who need counselling but beaters and batterers who are psychopaths. nice to know. :)
school bullying is mostly an act of misguided school kids and they need counselling but the act of bullying itself whether school or not is divided into physical and emotional abuse...so while the child who bullies may not be an abuser but the victim is a victim of abuse...cliched but this is what it is...
yes a victim does remain a victim , and yes bullies use emotional violence as well . they on purpose make it targeted in your head that everything about you is ugly disgusting and that you should never show your face to the world and there are extreme measures some bullies do to make people feel  that way about themselves..youll see many victims cut all their hair off or hide their faces with hair cause it has been penetrated somewhere by them through words\emotional abuse that they are ugly and everything bad. emotional abuse is there big time especially in girl bullying. 
I see it every day ...nothing that you say here is not true...sad but true

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Posted: 10 April 2013 at 8:10pm | IP Logged
Can't agree with you more

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