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"Chotey Saab?" He heard her voice behind him, but didn't turn around as he stood beside the small brook flowing amidst the slopes of the valley and stared into nothingness in the crystal clear water.
He had not expected anyone to come looking for him here, in this place, his secret hideout, but had forgotten that this place had once been the secret hideout of not just him, but his best friend too.
Khushi stared at his back with confusion, not knowing what to do. Her 'Chotey Saab' had simply stormed out of the room, disappearing for atleast an hour, causing everyone to panic, until she had finally remembered the possibilities of where he might be.
Their secret place.
She hadn't really been expecting him to be here, but it looked like her 'Chotey Saab' hadn't forgotten anything else of his childhood, except for her.
She walked towards him with the first aid box in her hand and noticed his blood stained palm still hanging limp beside his body. The blood had stopped oozing and the wound had clotted. But the cuts were still raw and she knew it was going to be painful for him if he didn't tend to it immediately.
"Chotey Saab!" she called once again, but he still didn't respond. She stretched out her hand to hold his injured one, but stopped midway, hesitating to proceed. They were no more childhood friends where she could hold his hand without any hesitation, without any questions about the relationship between them.
She had lost that right, that freedom over her best friend.
"If you don't take care of it, it's going to hurt you even more." She said, taking a step closer to him. "Can I clean the wound and apply the bandage or will you do it?"
He still didn't respond but didn't miss the irony in her asking him permission, even to touch him.
When he still didn't respond, she simply grabbed his arm with frustration and worry, causing him to suddenly let out a hiss and look at her.
"I'm sorry. I'll be very gentle." She replied, taking a cotton swab and antiseptic and began to clean the wound.
What was this girl made up of? Arnav stared at her with aghast. Why was she pretending as if nothing had happened there? As if his mind had conjured up the entire fiasco?
"Chotey Saab, you should be careful. This is simply not done. Your mother was really worried you know. And on top of that, you just disappeared without a word." Khushi said, concentrating her eyes on the wound. "And there was no necessity of shouting at Saab like that. He is Anjali's Memsaab's fianc and it is improper and disrespectful to shout at him like that. He must be quite upset right now."
"What was the necessity?!" Arnav finally found his voice and pulled his hand abruptly from her grip, the pain not bothering him. He observed how Khushi was still focussing her eyes on the ground refusing to look at him and her arm was still stained with his blood.
"So why were you feeling uncomfortable then? Answer me!" Arnav shouted back at her, scaring her out of her wits.
"I was not feeling uncomfortable. You were assuming too many things, Chotey Saab." Khushi said, finally daring to look into his eyes. "Saab wasn't misbehaving with me."
"Really?" He asked loudly in such a sarcastic voice, even he was surprised with himself.
"And even if he was, why do you bother? I'm just another worker in your house. I can defend myself. I don't need my employers defending me." Khushi spoke looking at him right in the eye, without batting an eyelid.
Arnav felt the ire rise within him once again at her words. "So why is a servant then tending to my wounds?"
Before the last word could even leave his tongue, he regretted saying it. But it was too late. Spoken words could never be taken back.
It was as if time had stood still. Nothing could be heard, except for the echo of his last words in the deathly silence surrounding them.
And then, he saw the cheerful spirit in her simply crumble right in front of his eyes and he felt worse than a murderer for his words. But she didn't flinch. Not even for a second.
"Chotey Saab, Don't remove your anger on your wounds. You will find another servant, but you won't get another hand." She said, as she grabbed his hand and continued to tend to it, as if nothing had ever been spoken.
Who needed bullets, if you had stabbing words like these?
He had never known how powerful words could be until this moment, until he himself was crumbling due to their venom.
And Arnav felt his heart completely shatter with her words, as if his entire body was being stung by thorns. The pain of his hand was nothing compared to the pain inflicted by her words.
He just stood there, completely speechless while she bandaged his wound and walked back up to the Manor, once she was done, without turning back even once to look at him, leaving him all alone.
It was a Sunday morning and the eight year old Arnav had just returned back from the Church with his Dadi. One of Dadi's friends had baked muffins for the Raizada siblings and presented it to them. While they were entering the house, Dadi had observed the little girl with two coconut trees on her head, standing in one corner and observing them curiously, and thus, she had urged Arnav to share the muffins with the new girl too.
Little Arnav had taken two muffins and approached her while little Khushi had retreated back suddenly, noticing him.
"Hey, Khushi! A muffin for you." He had said, holding out the brown cup to her.
She had stared at it blankly for two minutes and it was then, Arnav had realised that the little girl had never seen a muffin before.
"It tastes really good." He had tried to encourage her, taking a bite of his own muffin and those doe shaped hazel eyes had watched him with surprise, until they had gathered some more courage and accepted the muffin.
Taking the first bite hesitatingly, Khushi had immediately smiled at him, liking the new thing to eat.
"Thank you." She had said in her squeaky voice, liking her new friend and the two of them had sat on the front porch and eaten muffins.
And after eating their fourth muffin together, Khushi had finally warmed up to him.
"What's your name?" She had asked timidly, smiling at him.
"I'm Arnav." He had said, holding out his hand and she had immediately grabbed it to shake it, holding it firmly, sealing the friendship between them for eternity.
"Hi Annyavv!" She had said, smiling even more widely at him.
"No, it's not Annyavv... it's Arnav." He had tried to correct her.
"Annyavv'" She had repeated after him, causing him to bang his head with his fist. "No Khushi, it's Arnav. Not Annyavv. Say after me. Ar...nav...'"
But however hard she tried, the squeaky voiced girl with two coconut trees on her head could only say 'Annyavv' and the name remained with him for the next five years following that day along with a strong bond of friendship.
Arnav Singh Raizada stared at the huge wooden crucifix at the altar as he sat in the silent confines of the Christ Church.
He used to visit this Church every Sunday with his Dadi and Anjali when he was a kid and now, after the entire verbal spat with Khushi, this was the only place when he could find solace and comfort to his wounded heart.
At this time of the day, there was no one around him. Just him and God and silence encompassing them.
Looking down, he noticed his palm that was once held firmly by Khushi in their childhood and which now, was bandaged carefully by that same person.
And raising those same eyes, he felt ashamed to look at Jesus after all that he had said to Khushi. He could hear his own conscience screaming at him.
He couldn't recognise himself anymore. What had fifteen years done to him? She had been the victim and yet, he had suffered the greatest trauma.
Once again, he was tearing open her buried wounds, when most probably she had forgotten the entire episode.
And the words that had haunted him every night for those long fifteen years, returned back to haunt him once more.
What if that ten year old girl, his best friend didn't realise what was happening to her? She was too innocent and naive to even protest and she had been trampled ruthlessly misusing her helplessness and silence.
But he? Hadn't he been old and wise enough to realise what he was witnessing in front of him?
He still couldn't believe that he had held Khushi, that little ten year old girl responsible for all that he had seen because he didn't have courage to face the truth. Just the mere thought of it was disgusting and he felt his insides churn with guilt.
Maybe she was right. Ranvijay wouldn't have done what that monster had done to her fifteen years ago. Yet, he couldn't stop that guilt gnawing inside him to protect her. To repent for things he should have done as a best friend but couldn't do because he was a Raizada.
Not being able to hold it within him anymore, he broke down as a silent drop of tear rolled down his eyes and he whispered the words he didn't have courage to say to her face, "I'm sorry Khushi," because sorry was too small a word to what he was guilty of.
And then, he heard the unexpected. Like his Dadi used to say, God indeed worked wonders in mysterious ways.
"It is very easy to ask for forgiveness, but it is difficult to amend your mistakes." Arnav turned around to the low hoarse voice and found an old priest standing behind him as if God had sent him to his aid.
"Whatever it is that is bothering you son, try to make amends. Miracles happen only if you strive for it. By praying, God can only guide you. But it is entirely upto you to change the direction of your life." The old man said taking a seat beside him.
"What if nothing is in my hands? What if I cannot control the things happening around me?" Arnav suddenly spoke, finding some sort of relief in talking to a stranger.
The old priest pondered deeply over what he said and then spoke from his experience. "Like I said, you can only change the direction of your life, but you cannot control it. Sometimes certain things happen that are beyond our control. We are mere puppets in destiny's hand and when destiny decides to turn evil, we cannot escape it."
"But that is where God comes into the picture. He provides you with strength to withstand all those trials and tribulations. And believe me, if you manage to stand strong till the storm passes away, the reward awaiting you won't be disappointing."
"Father, what if I don't know what to do? What if I don't know how to be strong?" Arnav asked, looking helplessly at the old man.
"You are strong my son, and you will know what to do when the time comes. If you weren't strong, you wouldn't have been here in this church right now, trying to make amends." The old priest smiled at him.
"You know what to do. I can see it in your eyes." The priest said, pointing at his heart. "Don't hold back yourself. Listen to your conscience and it will guide you."
As Arnav stared at the altar with the old man's words in his head, he didn't realise when a new form of strength and courage started filling the voids of his crumpled heart.
"This behaviour is not at all acceptable!" Arthur roared at his son as they stood inside his study room discussing about him. "I don't know what happened between you and Ranvijay and I'm not interested in knowing about it, but your sudden disappearance without informing anyone shows your height of irresponsibility."
"Arthur'" Naina shook her head, urging him to calm down as she held his shoulder, while at the same time looking at her son standing opposite to them with a blank face.
"No, Naina. I won't tolerate this behaviour. He must realise that he is a vital member of this family and that there are people behind who are actually concerned for him. I know he's not a kid anymore for us to keep tabs on him, but atleast let him have the courtesy to inform us when he decides to disappear for a while."
Naina looked helplessly between her husband and her son. So what if Arnav was a grown up man? He was still the little kid for her, her baby and she couldn't bear to see him getting scolded by his father. But on the other side, she knew that Arthur was right.
Her son was dangerously slipping away from their control and the day wasn't far away when they would simply lose their grip on him.
Arnav simply stood aloof, indifferent to what his parents were saying. Honestly, his attention wasn't even in that room.
He was with those pair of Hazel eyes which had tended his wound on his palm. That concern and that care for him was still the same just like it had been fifteen years ago.
But he had trampled all those feelings. He had trampled their friendship.
And he didn't even know what to do after feeling so guilty about it.
His eyes soon focused on his parents, especially his father who was now looking at him furiously with a perplexed expression on his face. Arnav hadn't heard a word of what his father had said, but he knew they were expecting an apology from him.
"I'm sorry. I won't repeat it again." He murmured, looking at the floor, finally tuning in to what his father had to say.
"You better not repeat it again!" his father shouted at him and walked out of the room, banging the door right on his face.
He heard a knock on his bedroom door, as he slept on his bed, his eyes staring blankly at the ceiling.
"Come in!" Arnav said, and saw the door opening to reveal his mother, peeking inside his room.
"Ma?" he sat up immediately and noticed that she was holding a tray of food in her hand.
Naina Singh Raizada didn't say anything. Rather, she silently walked towards him and sat down beside him. For a minute, she simply gazed at him, observing the worry lines creasing his forehead and then, she outstretched her hand to hold his.
"Chotey, you know, your dad loves you a lot." She began, giving his hand a little squeeze. "When you had met with an accident three years ago in London, and when we came to know about it, he couldn't sleep for the next seventy two hours until you had regained consciousness."
"When you were born, he was a Major in the Indian Army and was posted in Srinagar. It took him three days to come all the way to Mussoorie from there. And he still regrets that he couldn't be the first one to hold you in his arms." Naina said, looking at Arnav in his eyes.
"You know, till today, he has never told me that he loves me considering the fact that ours was a love marriage." She said, laughing at him. "He simply went to your Nana and asked my hand in marriage. And your Nana was so impressed by his confidence, he couldn't refuse him."
"But I know he loves me and you and Anjali a lot, because he only scolds people who are dear to him. If he didn't love you, he wouldn't have even bothered about the entire thing Arnav."
"Three years ago, he had thought we had lost you forever when you were fighting for your life in the hospital. That's why he starts panicking if you simply disappear without informing us." Arnav felt his mother's warm palm on his cheek.
"Here, have some chicken soup. You will feel better." She said, holding out the bowl for him and Arnav immediately accepted it, flashing a faint smile at her.
His mother simply sat and watched as he slurped the warm soup.
"I didn't know Dadi had kept all my books here." He finally spoke, pointing at the bookshelf in one corner. "I had assumed that all my old stuff was cleared away."
"You remember that girl Khushi who used to play with Anjali and you in your childhood?" Arnav immediately felt his ears perk up hearing his best friend's name being mentioned. "She works here now with her Buaji." Naina cleared it up for him. "It seems one day, when Dadi was clearing out your old books and stuff from your room, Khushi took all your things to her house and preserved it saying that you would ask for it when you returned back. Poor girl didn't know that you wouldn't be returning back soon. And Dadi thought that it was better if the girl could use your stuff instead of throwing it away. So she donated all your stuff happily."
"But that girl didn't use any of your things, saying that she only wanted to preserve it on your behalf. And when your room was renovated last year, she moved back the entire thing in your room. You see all these photographs on the wall there, she had been the one to suggest framing all those photos you sent to Dadi and putting them up on your wall."
Arnav felt his throat choke hearing her words. Had Khushi preserved all of it for him? He couldn't even imagine how she must have been waiting for him everyday while he was in London, enjoying life without even thinking about her or trying not to think about her.
"Why is she working for us? Didn't she go to college?" he asked curiously, trying to know more about her.
"Yes, your Dadi had proposed to sponsor her education. But the girl's Buaji refused saying that they were already indebted to us for giving them a house for shelter and a job for survival and they couldn't accept any more help from us. I guess she completed high school and after that your Dadi was saying she does odd jobs during the day and whenever she's free, she provides a hand to her aunt. Now since there's a wedding in this house, that girl has decided to work full time here. But I have to praise her, you know. Such an efficient girl she is. You ask her to do anything and you can blindly trust her to get the work done. And she also took care of your Dadi when we were away from Mussorie for the last eight years."
"Is it?" he asked, particularly interested by the new piece of information. And he didn't realise when his subconscious, which had once wanted to forget the very existence of this girl had started to take an interest in her.
"Who is this Khushi?"
"Huh?" Anjali looked up in surprise as she lay on Ranvijay's lap, going through the invitation card of their wedding. He was going to stay in the Raizada Manor for few days until his family would join him and thus, they had decided to spend some time together before the wedding.
"How is she related to you?" Ranvijay asked once again, making Anjali sit upright with curiosity at his question.
"Vij, She was our friend in our childhood. Now she works for us, you know she's the same girl who was in the bar today morning with you and Bhai." Anjali replied. "Why do you ask?"
"Is there something going on between Arnav and her?" Ranvijay asked instantly, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at his fiancee.
"What rubbish!" Anjali laughed, swatting away his idea like a housefly. "Bhai and Khushi? Ok, we may have been friends in childhood, but Vij, she's like our servant you know. I know it sounds so patronising as if we are looking down at her status, but that's the truth. She's a nice person and a good friend too, but is definitely not someone who Bhai would be linked with and the idea itself is so weird."
"And Bhai has not even seen her for fifteen years. And you know the type of women he's with. He's just like you, like how you were before you met me, hanging out with those fashion ramp models. Wait, has this got something to do with what had happened in the Bar today morning? Vij, please tell what exactly had happened in there. Neither is Bhai telling me nor Khushi and nor you are." she asked immediately, her mind trying to join the puzzle.
"Stop using your investigative brain everywhere nerd-o. Nothing happened in there. I was just asking. Maybe being away from you for a long time is starting to affect my mind and I'm hallucinating things." Ranvijay replied, and before she could protest, he swooped down to take her lips silencing her for the time being, while his smart mind began to fit all the pieces of the puzzle.
A puzzle which the others couldn't see, but had caught his fancy the minute he had seen Arnav and Khushi together.
Next update will be on wednesday the 24th at around 1:00 pm IST.
Thank you for your precious comments and believe me, I read every bit of it.
P.S. How does RK look like? I visualise him to be just like Vivian Dsena, the RK of Madubala.
Does he still look creepy and lecherous to you?
And after reading your comments, I decided to let Barun and Sanaya itself to be Arnav and Khushi as you are more comfortable with them.
P.P.S. Do not underestimate my power to surprise you people. This story may not be a thriller, but yet, the share of surprises will still come when you least expect them. Just saying.
One more thing. I read that many of you are getting the vibes of Kite Runner in this FF. Honestly, I haven't read that book, but yes, I've seen the movie, that too only parts of it. But I know the gist. Yes, the story might be similar, but that was based in the backdrop of Afghanistan. This is based on something that happens behind closed doors in our own families and most importantly, this is a love story. There wasn't a love aspect to Kite Runner, but here there is also a complicated love story brewing amidst all this mess.
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the first scene was good i mean really really good... infact that was mindblowing... i liked when khushi thought about the place as their secret place. this scene brought back the memories of the serial... the strong feelings and even stronger refusal of that feelings... this is our ArHi... the couple we have fallen in love with... okey now back to the update... i just loved the way she tried to pour some sense into him about his behaviour... not with RK but with his family... and he shouted... i was so missing his shouting... but why you skipped the best dialogue of his when he shouts... i so missed his "damn it"...
and khushi's cruel reply... cha gai ho khushi... i so liked her answer... i mean i pity Arnav but i loved the way Khushi made him clear about the line he is trying to draw between them.
the fb was nice...
and now the highlight of the update... he was repenting... he blamed Khushi for that whole episode...???? is he out of his mind???? she was a victim and he was a witness... yet he blamed her because he was A RAIZADA... you mean if he was not a raizada he would do what a best friend supposed to do???? now you better introduce his cousins and his dad's brothers... do we have Akash, or shyam or Aman in this story????
voila Arther and naina' s marriage was a love marriage???? it means love marriage runs in his family... so Arnav's will also be a love marriage???? you have shown an entirely different Arnav when he was with his father... an obedient son... it's hard to imagine... but still it's sweet and shows the level of respect this Arnav gives to his relations and family...
now naina's revelation about his books and picz... so Khushi was behind keeping his books and putting his pictures???? so it means she is close to his dadi???? and dadi always takes the side of truth???? so she will be on Khushi's side... or may be after talking to father Arnav likes to share the darkest secret with his dadi... after all he is her fav...
RK... am going to like him... and at first i find Anjali's reaction to his question astonishing but then i thought she was ryt... i mean you showed her quite practical n real ... people used to like their servants... also call them friends but find it hard to make them part of their family... such things make them hypocrite... and anjali is no exception...
now update quickly...
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