(Living in the) Grey ch3 pg18 - Page 7

Originally posted by: PrittB

JASSU! Let the update out!

Disclaimer: The following chapter contains an incident of sexual violation. If you are easily disturbed, please do not read.

What you are about to read is Donna Paulsen approved.

Chapter 2

I begin dressing right in front of him, in the shimmering piece of discomfort that he hands me. This act does not evoke shame anymore. I no longer blush when he sees me naked. I feel numb really. I am not happy to be forced by his side. I am not thrilled to be called Mrs. Rishabh Kundra. I only volunteered to take on his last name not his first and even that is debatable. Still, the world seems to have forgotten my identity. Time is just ticking away and there is no purpose to live this once precious life. Can't the pain end sooner?

"Why won't you sleep with me?" He asks this question at least once every hour. I usually do not respond. I suppose I could consent but if I can not stand to look at his smirk, intimacy is a far cry. I am surprised he has not forced me yet.

"I am not that kind of a man", he tells me.

I don't know what kind of a man he is any longer. I have thought many a times and come to the same conclusion: he is clinically insane. Something about his psychosis makes me think he may be a narcissist or anti-social? I am not very good at this. I am not very good at anything. Perhaps that is the reason why his family treats me as though I am brain dead.

Ever since my last suicide attempt, his mother hired a maid to keep me company in the kitchen. I am not allowed access to knives or other sharp tools fearing I may cut myself. I tried jumping off the terrace but that only resulted in two rib fractures. My overdose on sleeping pills wasn't very helpful either. He ended up screaming at me the entire night in the emergency room. I have run out of options. Even "A 1000 Ways to Die" is useless

Currently, I am on the look out for a sharp shooter or just a loaded weapon with enough bullets to kill my nerve endings. I don't want to see him, I don't want to feel him near me, I don't want to touch him or taste him. I simply want to block him out.

"There was a time", he goes on to repeat the same broken record. "You spent hours admiring my gorgeous face".

"There was a time", I answer feigning indifference. "You were not the cause of my sadness. Won't you let me go?"

"I can't. I can't let you go Madhubala for your own good. It's a mad, mad world out there".

Oh I remember very well what he means. Less than a month ago he had let me travel the tube alone. See, my experience with trains has never been pleasant, does not matter which part of the world. The tube was jam packed and I was one of the unfortunate passengers standing up. A few pushes and screams alarmed me enough to keep my belongings in close proximity. Halfway through the journey, I felt a warm tingling on my elbow. My neck was caught in the overwhelming crowd of office goers so I could not turn back. When I got off at the station closest to our house, I noticed my arm and my purse covered in semen. I was so disgusted I couldn't talk. RK took me inside the car and vowed to beat the living shit of the man if he found him. I went home and took seven showers still struggling to erase that memory. When he smiled at me during supper that night, I began pondering: had he paid the man? Would he do that to me? I don't know. I cannot believe anything he does anymore. I don't love or trust my own husband.

However, for some odd reason, I do care for him. I curse myself for thinking he can change. Is this the nearness of him?

"You really ought to put some makeup on. You look like you haven't slept for days".

That is because I look like this everyday. If my face is not pleasing to your eyes then, stop blaming me for it. I was born like this. I can't help it and no, I won't get a lift, a nip or a tuck to make you happy. God, why have I grown so bitter? Should I just divorce him? Do I have the money? I don't have the energy to put my own life back together.

Originally posted by: PrittB

I'M FIRST! 

FOR ONCE!

go Pritt

Clinically insane. LOL 😆!

Oh dear, suicide. :(

But the last line "1000 ways to die" part made me laugh. That show grosses me out! I can't watch it anymore!

I have only ever heard of it. I usually stick to urban legends or myth busters. adam and jamie aaah

WHAT?! Did he pay the man?! 

we will never know. then again, she is holding a grudge

"If my face is not pleasing to your eyes then, stop blaming me for it. I was born like this."

^My favourite line! 😆

mine too.

Lovely update Jassu! Okay, maybe content wise it wasn't exactly 'lovely' but writing wise it was! 

I see you trying to be nice. But I just had to tell someone and I freaking overshare. everyone knows it. If I ever get a pet, you do not want to my friend on facebook cause I will ham that shit in your face and yes, sometimes i dont even make sense.

Now update again! :D

LOL I'm kidding! I'll stop pestering you to update now! 

thanks😆 how about I start pestering you to watch a K drama instead? what do you like comedy, melodrama, body switch, gender bender, time travel? we got em all😉

Originally posted by: PrittB

LOL! 

No pestering! 

Let's make a deal, neither of us pesters the other until we both finish exams on Tuesday. Then we're free to do as we please.

I promise to annoy for updates starting Thursday (I'll give you Wednesday off because I'm nice like that). :)