Saath Nibhaana Saathiya


Saath Nibhaana Saathiya
Saath Nibhaana Saathiya

Is Gopi to blame?

NazmaJ IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 28 September 2008
Posts: 10965

Posted: 05 April 2013 at 4:27pm | IP Logged
Well yes she is! But she ain't the only one!!

This is going to sound so stupid... but because I've been updating my first FF I felt a little bad that I'd completely got rid of Rashi in it! I thought she wasn't all bad and maybe I shouldn't have got rid of her but what's been going on these days makes me glad that at least I got rid of evil Rashi early on!! The Modi's are never going to kick her out and I can envisage this kind of bull going on til the end of the show.
It really does deem like this show took one step forward - Ahem and Gopi - but two steps back in every other aspect. Rashi has got worse over this new track and Urmila has never learnt anything better.
I am disappointed with the the CVs over Kokila and Ahem. Neither of them have ever liked UrShi although within recent months both have been inclined to be ok with Rashi but still they are supposed to be mature individuals. 
Although I suppose Ahem has always been blind to the machinations of his household. He never knew what Kinjal was upto, nor did he realise what Anita was dong while she was in his house. And UrShi have always found it easy to manipulate Ahem for their own uses when it came to instigating him against Gopi in the early days.
My disappointment is levelled mostly at Koki. She is smarter and cleverer than UrShi yet she is being easily manipulated by them against Gopi, which makes me feel that she is no better than Gopi in some ways. Yes she's hurt and disappointed in her Gopi vau but has that blinded her to everything but her own feelings? She should be letting Gopi know the truth about Urmila but it obviously isn't working, and if it hasn't worked over the two years plus that Gopi has been in the house is it really going to work now?
Gopi is obviously suffering from the burden of being a burden. She was grudgingly brought up by her mami but she was brought up by her. This is automatically going to make Gopi feel like she is indebted to her. And because she had no mum by all intents Urmila has been her mum - she may not have been a good one but for Gopi that was it. No one wants to believe their mum can be all that bad, and when you are blinded by gratitude (however wrongly or rightly) it is very hard to see things in black and white.
We all know that Gopi think of Koki as her mother but in actual fact Koki is her mother-in-law. A girl like Gopi is always going to be aware of that fact, and she knows how much Koki dislikes Urmila. The girl is being pulled in all directions and her upbringing has brought her to such a point where she can't do right for doing wrong.
The manipulations of UrShi obviously don't help but then again Gopi isn't the only one who is victim to those. Even Koki falls victim at times. How easily did Rashi convince Koki that the milk had been diluted by the milkman? Or that the dhobi hadn't ironed the clothes properly? And Koki professes to know the inner workings of Rashi's mind? 

They are all manipulated all the time but Gopi is the only one who gets caught being manipulated and therefore is doubly punished. Her past doesn't exactly make it easy for her to open up to anyone and I'm sorry but it can't all be brushed under the carpet just because Gopi got her Ahem. Kokila was horrible to her at the beginning of the show and we all know how Ahem treated her. For someone brought up in fear of displeasing people she has actually come a long way. Yes she should have told Kokila or Ahem or someone about what Urmila did but I'm not happy about the self righteousness of other characters.

Edited by NazmaJ - 05 April 2013 at 9:04pm

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Justlikethat1 IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 10 October 2011
Posts: 12798

Posted: 05 April 2013 at 8:39pm | IP Logged
 Thank you so much for this NazmaBig smile

I have tried to explain this but somehow could not make it as clear as you did.. Needless to say I totally agreeTongue

Yes, Gopi is very much at fault in not seeing what UrShi are capable of but the fact it is just not her who get swayed by Rashi and Urmi time and again.. If not for that Bhang, I think Koki would have gone on being friendly with Urmi inspite of what happened.

It is unfair to expect Gopi not to save her Maami from under the lorry's wheels. Yes, Gopi has to become more aware of her responsibilities but then Gopi would jump into the fire for Hetal, fall under a car for a puppy or go to the kidnappers for Rashi.. This should hence be no big surprise but it seems to be for the ModisConfused

As for Koki and even Ahem, they are both for all their worldly knowledge no less manipulated themselves. So let us not just blame Gopi as being naive.. Every one of the Modi family has at one stage or the other fallen for UrShi's bag of tricks and they still do not know it.

Ahem thinks Rashi is the best sister to Gopi even if he just about tolerates her at times. Koki thinks Rashi is "Good at heart but just misled"Dead How incorrect is that? And to add to it, her anger at what she considers as a disappointment with Gopi is only making it worse.

Leave these two.. Hetal has been and always will be blinded by her Rashi Dikra. I still remember the batwara where only Gopi knew what happened. Jigar, the lallu still thinks his wife loves him. . What a jokeSleepy

Baa thought Rashi was uniting the family in the batwara track and she thinks Rashi is just childish and wants Koki to go easy on herConfused

None of the Modis are free of UrShi's KKs and they are no wiser than Gopi.. Just because Gopi got caught like a deer in the headlights, she is being targeted. The others are all comfortable because their naivety or should I say stupidity at forgiving Rashi a dozen times is not yet fully understood.

If Gopi is blind to UrShi, she is blind because of the way she was brought up.. What do the Modis have as an excuse? I think Koki and Ahem should actually help Gopi in a constructive way.

Giving her ultimatums or strict lectures and calling her a liar will not serve any purpose. As seen, it just fuelled Rashi into further evilness because she wants 'Fun'Dead

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yhm_craze IF-Rockerz

Joined: 09 December 2011
Posts: 5651

Posted: 06 April 2013 at 12:03am | IP Logged
fab post Nazma! you are absolutely's not right that Gopi is the only one being punished for being so easily manipulated by Urshi when they themselves have been. But the fact remains that the few times that the Modis have seen Rashi's true nature and wanted to act on it, Gopi has not allowed them to..
1. The bhoot track: Koki came to know the truth and wanted to throw Rashi out of the house for torturing Gopi like that, but Gopi stopped her.
2. The Sonal track: For the first and only time when the Modis came to know that Rashi tricked them and got married to Jigar, they took the right step and threw Rashi out. And Gopi changed it all by convincing them to bring her back.
I dont think Ahem has even given enough importance to Rashi to know what goes on in her mind. He helped Gopi get RaJi back together I guess mainly because he was intent on wooing Gopi and get into her good books. However I am disappointed that so far he has spoken to Gopi only on Holi. After that, I find it hard to believe that he hasnt spoken to Gopi at all about what is going on between her and Koki.Basically the men in MM never take any interest in what goes on in their family and that is something that has always baffled me. However Ahem shares a unique relationship with Koki. He literally worships her. I think it would go against Ahem's character if he goes on to fight with Koki (as Rashi wants) for Gopi. He knows Gopi made a mistake but not with bad intentions and he knows his mother will be harsh with Gopi. But I dont think he will doubt Koki's love for Gopi. If he does do what Rashi wants, then I will be very very shocked!
Coming to Koki, you are right. She didnt lose any time to lose faith in Gopi. This time, Urshi have played their cards very smartly. Rashi will continue to pretend that she is not on talking terms with Urmi. So the Modis will not even look at her in suspicion. Koki herself saw a woman looking exactly like Urmi with Gopi. Yes, I was disappointed in Koki that she refused to believe Gopi that she was not Urmi. But the precap for Monday has reaffirmed for me that Koki has not given up on Gopi. She will continue to try to make Gopi see the truth. But Koki has always been harsh when she is in the mood to punish someone. She has been harsh to Parag, Ahem, Kinjal and Gopi. So I dont think she has reserved any special malice for Gopi. And even Gopi knows that.
Yes Urshi are the only family Gopi has known good or bad. But I dont accept the logic that Gopi still has reasons to hesitate to accept Koki as her mother. Koki has gone to the extent of disowning Ahem for Gopi's sake. If Gopi can be excused to be blind to Urmi's sins because she is the only mother she knows, good or bad...then what is stopping her from accepting Koki as her mother? Inspite of the fact that Koki has been a loving mother to her and always stood by her, except for the first few months of Gohem marriage. If she refuses to see Urshi's sins her entire life, then why cannot she overlook Koki's few months of cruelty? Yes, Koki was cruel to Gopi and both Koki and Ahem fell to Urshi and Kinjal's kks. But to be fair to them, they did not know Urshi and Gopi. All of them were strangers for them. But after knowing how Gopi is, both have been blindly loyal and loving to Gopi. And yes Ahem fell for Kinjal's kks but Kinjal was his sister and Gopi was a stranger with whom he was forcibly married. And then he came to know that Gopi is an illiterate. A fact that his mother hid from him. Who would he believe, his mother and sister or Gopi? I am still not defending Ahem. I always wanted to see Ahem falling at Gopi's feet to beg for forgiveness but the CVs never gave that. I want to see Ahem taking the marriage vows again and so many things being set right that happened in their first year of marriage. But we have seen Ahem try to undo the past. So I dont think we can compare Urshi with Kohem in terms of their behaviour towards Gopi. It's not fair. Ahem wanted Gopi out of MM too at one point just like Urshi did. But I dont remember him doing any kk to get her out. He simply told his mother he didnt want her in his life. (Please correct me if I am wrong here, I didnt watch SNS regularly then)
I blame Hetal and Jigar more than Kohem. Hetal is the most useless female character in MM and as for Jigar, the less said the better. I understand Gopi has been abused all her life, even by Kohem for some time. But as unfair as it is, it has to be Gopi only to come out of it and make herself stronger and wiser. She has been conditioned to keep Urshi above herself, she unknowingly started placing them above Kohem too and now Meera is slowly getting added to that. I think Koki realizes that and is desperate to make Gopi realize that. Yes, Koki has warned her before too but she has made the mistake of not explaining herself to Gopi. I guess she believed since Gopi is so obedient to her, she will simply listen without any question, I do not know.
To Gopi's credit, she continues to shield Urmi for Rashi's sake. Rashi according to me is more evil than even Urmi. She has cleverly manipulated Gopi so that she believes her to be the loving sister. She saved her from drowning, is "loving" towards Meera, "helped" her in the Anita track and gave that "heartfelt" speech when Urmi was exposed in the current track. So she believes that Rashi is good at heart and I dont blame Gopi. We have seen how Rashi is but Gopi hasnt. Rashi is the only reason why Gopi still goes out of her way to defend Urshi. And for the same reasons, the other Modis too believe that Rashi is "good at heart, just influenced by Urmi" Dead.
So since we are arguing about whether we should blame Kohem or Gopi, I say we all blame Rashi! AngryAngryAngryAngryAngry

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Justlikethat1 IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 10 October 2011
Posts: 12798

Posted: 06 April 2013 at 4:52am | IP Logged
Dipsy, Well written analysis girlClap

I just have this to say. I don't think Koki or Ahem can be blamed for not trying to make up for what they did with Gopi but that does not refute the fact that they did do somethings horrible to her. It is not easy to forget either.

It is not that fact alone. It still remains that Ahem has been fooled by UrShi, not just now but right from year 1 of his marriage. He chose not to see the truth, but it still is a fact that Gopi was blamed for every wrong thing that happened which was how Rashi showed it to be.

Ahem did not dig deeper. He just believed the worst of Gopi and it was Gopi who fought and fought against that prejudice in her own way.

As for Koki, yes she is Gopi's mother. Gopi accepts it too and as she told Urmi this time, Urmi is the only mother Gopi knows. But Koki is at a place higher than Urmi.

Gopi is not putting Urmi over Koki. She is just trying to please everyone and keep everyone happy. An impossible task and she is wrong but that his how it is.

I don't think anyone would disagree that Gopi needs to see the truth but I think what I find a little off putting is the fact that Koki who now tells Gopi to see the right from the wrong, cannot see it herself.

As I said, the only excuse we give is that she has the right to be angry but that does not mask the fact that she can be fooled herself. So how will Gopi not be?

You are right in saying that it is Rashi to be blamed. Your examples of Bhoot track and Vansh track is also because it involved Rashi. Gopi has always been truthful and open when it comes to Urmi but Rashi manipulates her with the sister card very carefully. See her tell Gopi that she loves her and will not let her die and things like that..

Remember even in the Vansh track Rashi told Gopi that she 'hid' her mother's treachery. She was all teary when Vansh was given away.. It was as if she felt for that and the entire family forgave her. Gopi also thinks that is all that Rashi did. She does not realize why Rashi wanted to become a mom like we doOuch

Rashi is the most evil when it comes to UrShi. She will be the reason that Gopi has been weak. The minute this witch goes away, Gopi will be the person we want her to be. But in the meanwhile, even Koki and Ahem will be manipulated by her.

It is all well that Koki is punishing Gopi to make her strong but the truth is, the truth that Koki wants Gopi to see is already seen by Gopi. She is just too soft hearted to be as forceful as Koki is. But the actual truth that has to be seen is about RAshi and no one in MM knows about her evilness. Lets just not even consider Hetal and Jigar in this. They are both utter wastes.Angry

Ahem is not at crossroads. Yes. He will not shout back at Koki but there will come a point in this when Koki's punishment will cross a limit (I think that will happen when Meera is taken away from GopiCry.)  That is when he will make a stand.

I love Koki but I also see Koki is not the easiest person to give explanations to when she is angry. She will discard your words because she has already formed the decision in her mind. So she will discard Ahem's plea because she thinks she is doing it for the greater goodConfused

Where GoHem go from there is to be seen. But yes. Rashi is the culprit and I just hope that after being so evil and after playing with a mother and her innocent child for so loong, the Bholenath she prayed to comes and opens his third eye at her and burns her like witches are burned at stakeAngry

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NazmaJ IF-Sizzlerz

Joined: 28 September 2008
Posts: 10965

Posted: 06 April 2013 at 1:33pm | IP Logged
Gosh I loved reading these essays!!

Well I'm not going to say much but I agree with both of you - Rashi is to blame, that was never in doubt!!

I don't need nor expect Koki or Ahem to make up what they did to Gopi - they have done so with their actions towards her and Gopi has accepted this. But I can't abide the hypocrisy. 
People see the face they want to see rather than what is obvious to other people. WHen emotions are involved then clarity goes by the wayside.
At the moment Kokila's emotions are also involved and she is partially blinded by her hurt and disappointment. She knows Gopi so she should know that Gopi wouldn't ignore her duty by her daughter or her family even if other things are going on. Personally I do feel that the CVs get totally involved in their vision that they forget the integral characteristics they originally endowed the characters with. Gopi turns into more and more of a watering pot and is completely under the thumb unless she knows for sure she is in the right. She still trembles at the thought of Koki's anger and Ahem's displeasure and if that isn't symptomatic of he earlier treatment of her then I don't know what is.
I'm not surprised Gopi found it hard to tell Kokila what happened. Kokila can be too black and as Harini said very quick to make a decision. We've seen it time and time again and not all of her decisions have been the right ones. Kokila makes mistakes all the time but there is no one to call her on it. 

One brilliant point made by Harini is that even Kokila is blind to the truth of Rashi. Rashi believes her to be childish and easily led however we viewers know the truth. So if Kokila can be so easily misled by a few acts of perceived niceness then it's believable that Gopi is wanting to believe her aunt. Not that she truly believes her but the want is there. Gopi knows her aunt can be manipulative and selfish but knowing that doesn't make Gopi's belief in humanity waver. Urmi is her mami and her beloved Rashi's mum therefore she can't be all bad, just rather misguided. 

However the punishments meted out by Koki are not going to make Gopi think that there is no hope for Urmi and really it shouldn't. Gopi's inherent belief that people are all good is part and parcel of her character, yes she should be more savvy and be able to tell people when something is worrying her or when something concerns other people but come on when has Gopi ever been that person? 
Gopi needed to be more aware and she is. She has come on in leaps and bounds but being more aware and acting upon that awareness are two different things. And to be fair Gopi has taken action. She took action when Vansh's truth came out and also when she found out about Urmilas gender test. Should she have gone one step further and told someone? Probably. But the original issues were sorted out - Vansh went back to his mum and also Koki si out of prison, by fair means or foul. 
Gopi was heading in the right direction. Given time and maturity she probably would have learnt to air her concerns with her husband or her MIL. Even if they concerned her family.

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