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||DOTW||6th April Sons & Daughters. . (Page 3)

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swasthi

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swasthi

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Posted: 08 April 2013 at 4:48am | IP Logged
A very interesting topic Xarina.

There is no doubt a distinction between sons and daughters in every culture, religion and society. Child gender divide is more prevalent in traditional and lesser socio-economic societies. Another factor that hugely impacts this is the viewpoints of parental behaviour. 

In the case of Urmila's viewpoint on how Kokila treats her children, does she believe it is parent's behaviour or something else? What Urmila has failed to accept is her divide the treatment of daughter's - her real daughter, Rashi, her fostering a niece, Gopi. 

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Justlikethat1Xarina

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Justlikethat1

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Posted: 08 April 2013 at 4:58pm | IP Logged
Very true Swasthi.. Urmila treats anyone other than Rashi distastefullyDead

One good thing with the Modis though is how lenient they are with their DILs. It is trouble as well as a good thing. But if we assume that Rashi was not evil,think about how open minded the Modis are in some respects.

But not everyone is as lucky as Rashi in real life. People usually get stuck with MILs like Urmi who will be the bane of one's life forever and if one does not have the husband's support then the girl is in dire straits..

Kinjal being Koki's daughter and one who has been independent herself is able to stand up to Urmi. Think if in her place Dhawal had married another GopiSleepy 

It is sad that women become the first enemies of women.. SadCry


If everyone started to think about how they would not even be there if it was not for a woman before them, then maybe they will realize how stupid showing prejudice is..

@Xari -  Awesome poemStar It touches the heart and rings very close

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ANJ4

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ANJ4

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Posted: 08 April 2013 at 10:49pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by munnihyderabad

Sons and Daughters interesting topic Xar 

i donno why people still believe in differences between son and daughter in this era ...  all I can say is "A son is a son till he gets his wife - A daughter is a daughter all his life"   

Wow the poem gives goosebumps .. it's just what a daughter/girl/woman is all about Xar



My dad  is sick right now ... he told me on sunday how much he loved me and that I was his fav child  and my mom heard him...  and I have 2 brothers  I am the middle child...     So i agree with you*********** a daughter is a daughter all her life 

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Xarina

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Xarina

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Posted: 09 April 2013 at 3:14am | IP Logged
Anj so sorry to hear of your dad's sickness.  But the saying is so very true.
 
@Harini  I came across that poem in the film Nikkah.  It is too good a poem to be left there.  So accurate and telling. 

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Xarina

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Xarina

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Posted: 09 April 2013 at 3:21am | IP Logged
Sawsthi with Urmi she puts a monetary slant on relations.  Had Rashi been a boy then the pampering would have been there from the start and the pushing for him to do well so that he would make oodles of money and keep her in her old age in the manner she wants.  Now I suspect that she did not differentiate between having Rashi or a son in the early years.  She would have too busy cribbing that Jitu did not bring in enough but from the start would have taught Rashi that she is the best and that money, status and luxuries were what counted no matter how she achieved them.  She married Rashi into the Modi household, first by hook and then by crook.  Faced with Rashi producing twin girls dented her image of Rashi lording over MM.  Would she have gone through with an abortion had the babies been girls and convinced Rashi that it was for the best?

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Justlikethat1

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Justlikethat1

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Posted: 09 April 2013 at 8:30pm | IP Logged
Xari, I think the answer to your question is Yes Urmi would have gone for an abortion for Rashi.. No.. let me take that back. She would have killed Meera so that Rashi's children, girl or boy would not have the competition.. Dead

There is something else though that is gnawing at me for the past couple of days.. I sincerely believe that Koki showed no difference between Ahem and Kinjal because Kinjal was a girl. It was more to do with that fact that Kinjal was a rebel and needed to be punished rather than for the fact that she was a girl.

But the past two days of Koki's anger made me think in a different direction. Lets take Gopi and Dhawal. Gopi is Koki's DIL and Dhawal her SIL.
For all Dhawal's blind belief in urmi, Koki still treats him with respect that we do not see her give Gopi. Why is that? Why is the DIL anyless than the SIL. Both are not blood relations and both are married to you own blood.

So why is it that we give more consideration when it comes to Son-in-laws and don't extend the same courtesy to our DILs?

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Xarina

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Xarina

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Posted: 11 April 2013 at 2:21pm | IP Logged
Harini one would think that parents treat their sons-in-law like princes in order that their daughter does not come into any hardship at their hands. I just don't understand the tradition for DILs coming into a new house and being treated like the maid and not one of the family. Every episode I see, even at meal times the DILs are serving all the family members including the daughters of the family before they sit and eat themselves. Why do in-laws see it as a god given right to treat them so?

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Shweta2111Justlikethat1

Justlikethat1

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Justlikethat1

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Posted: 11 April 2013 at 2:58pm | IP Logged
No idea Xari.. I have been fortunate enough to be in a family that does not adhere to this..

 Mostly in families from where I grew up, the men eat first and the children along with them mainly because

1. We don't use dining tables often which means that someone has to serve food and men who go to work need to be on time and so women decide to eat a bit later

2. Mothers first feed their children and then eat as it becomes easier to finish the work and then have a leisurely meal while the menfolk distract the kids for sometime after the meal..

3. All women get the meal time to gossip LOL They trade stories and give suggestions..

Never seen a DIL asked to eat separately like it is shown. Usually the woman eat a bit later.. But at times woman earlier if they are feeding or not well..

One may ask why woman should not eat before men.. Maybe because of convenience and then it just became a habit..

It is easier to serve than just lay everything on the table because it becomes easier while cleaning.. Practically that is.. But if the discrimination is based on DIL, one cannot accept it.Ouch


So the son-in-laws are treated well to make sure a person's daughter is treated well in her sasural.. Should that not apply to the DIL too? She is someone's daughter. .So what one expects, one should do too right?

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