Posted: 04 April 2013 at 3:35pm | IP Logged
I feel pretty sad today... Not crying sad...just you know nostalgic sad...energy sucking sad...Melancholic sad...so just bear with the emotional drama okay
Theme Song of the Day
Guru, the man who never lied or ever had a malignant thought in his heart for anyone, did something awful in the blindness of his love. But, Ironically enough, the woman he was trying to save his family from is proving to be a savior for his family. The Guilt is piling on him, with a heavy heart, he realizes his mistake. He goes to her to see if she needs help, to see this woman who has kept so much in her heart, to face the consequences of his actions. He goes inside and witnesses her generosity, her kindness and he wants to say something, ask if he can help. Show her that she has always been present with them. Maybe it will be a balm on her heart, maybe he can tell her the truth. But the words dont come.
Mohan, completely lost in his dream world. A world of happiness and nostalgia, of beauty and grace. A time of peace and sense of completeness. He sneezes and his heart flutters in joy, who knew a mildly irritating affliction would bring so much joy to him. He goes in search of her, interestingly enough his whole life has been a quest to find her. He spies her doing something as mundane as making food and he realizes how much he misses those moments. The time has gone by, so much of it wasted, so much spent in despair and loneliness. If Only he had more. If only he could stop the time, if only he could control it, If only he could go back in that moment and relive it again and again. But he cant, so he stands there, right in that door, unwilling to step out and unable to step inside. and Hasnt this been the proverbial truth of his life? standing in this one spot, stuck in the moment of deep love and unable to move backwards or forward.
Megha, she is burning from within, and yet she is so calm on the outside. As if she allows herself even one moment to feel her hurt, she wont be able to collect herself. She sees him standing there and her heart has a mind of its own, it calls out without her minds consent. One look at him, one shared glance and she is right there in the memory with him. Right beside him, falling back into that easy rhythm of love and contentment. The tears spring into her eyes unwilling, because even after everything the love shining from his eyes speaks to her soul. Her mind screams his betrayal and rejection to her, body her eyes have disconnected from her mind. The tears dont stop, they keep coming. She feels those eyes on her, and the knife keeps going deeper, she needs to get out and get some fresh air. She is suffocating. So she tries to move out. But wherever she steps, he is right there. He is in her, within her soul, he is in front of her, and no matter where she goes he just happens to be there. Always there like her shadow,her tormentor, so close that she could touch him. Yet so far that if she did, she would become undone.
Mohan wants to clear the air about his daughter to her, when Megha explicitly calls her his daughter. He wants to speak the Truth, But a Lie stops him. Megha states that she knows the truth. About him, about RimJhim, about his betrayal. Two people talking about the same thing but on completely different pages, completely different contexts. and witnessing this all, is the culprit who started this cycle of half truths. He witness them talking and he and he is the only person who understands what each one of them is actually saying. As they say, Context matters. His Guilt is choking him at this point, he wants to rectify his mistake right there. But Mohan drags him out and thanks him for speaking the Truth on His Behalf to the one woman he has loved beyond anything, perhaps even himself. Thus, burying Guru in his own guilt.
The War of words:
It is so easy to fall back on patterns. Fall back to the easy days, Fall back in love without a thought. Fall back to the days of contentment and ease, as if time never passed. Thats what happened to Mohan today, he felt so light and at an ease for that one moment that he forgot Megha and Him were not really together anymore. He referred to her as Yaar(friend) as if she was always around him. She felt shocked at the liberty he suddenly took in his mannerisms, but for some reason she couldnt muster the strength to rail at him again. She gave him that glass of water, perhaps because thats the only thing she could give. Perhaps she wanted to look into his eyes again and again. He took that glass and once again the world felt right again. He took that glass of water as a beacon of the hidden love inside her heart. The love that she tries so hard to hide, the love that speaks from her eyes. He knows he cannot ask for anymore, even though his heart yearns for more, so he has to make do with just this moment of kindness and this sliver acceptance from her, as a token of love.
Mohan cannot keep his eyes off of her, all his attention, all his senses are attuned to her. But Nanhi calls, and he still cant keep his eyes away. But Nanhi mentions talking to her, and he remembers that slap of rejection. He remembers her walls, the ice around her heart, who will only give more pain to his Little girl. So he tells her to give it time. and Perhaps he unintentionally baited her too, So she bites. She asks him why didnt he tell Nanhi that they are together? That she is here with him? He doesnt say a word, because he didnt want to raise Nanhis hopes. He knows most of all how much it hurts when hopes shatter. Ironically enough for Megha, She gets a chance to practice what she is preaching, but she couldnt bring herself to tell Nanhi the truth either. What will she say? the man you worship, your spiderman, cheated on our family. He has another family, she cant see Nanhis heart being broken again. So She uses the half-truths again. So similar these two are, yet so different, they are both protecting Nanhi from each other and from her own heart. Megha tries her best to stay as close to the truth, but not quiet. She has fallen into her own trap. This time she has given Mohan another opening to question her. To throw her words back at her, and it hurts. Yet again Mohan doesnt realize how he hurt her. He was just baiting her, falling back to their old comfortable place, but inadvertently ended up sending another slash to her already bleeding heart.
In conclusion...It was poetic today...I liked it alot.