i am back...yet again😆😆
i saw y'day epi with great difficulty. thanks to slow internet connection.
i took about two hours to watch whole epi.
it was really heart wrenching
today payal di requested me write arjun's pov after sam left blasting .
it was bit tricky to write as we dunno the exact reason. but i have tried to write my best, bringing out his pain and guilt...
hope i have done justice...
and i sincerely hope payal di likes it...
*fingers crossed*
oki to start with, narration in black, arjun's pov/dialogues in this and sam's dialogues in this colour...
***I know i am guilty...***
"iskeliye main tumhe kabhi maaf nahin kar sakta. I can never forgive you"
Arjun saw an angry Rathod marching down the steps of the very mandir where they were to perform shraadh karma of only lady in their life. Roshni...
A lone tear escaped from his eye watching him walk away.
Years ago he thought that Sameer Rathod, his best friend, his brother Sam would understand him. he had seen him in hospital,when he was lying their bruised, broken. But Arjun did not recognize the person who stood in front of him. he was not sameer he knew. He was some one else whom he did not know... an unknown face filled with hatred, hurt and fury...
"I know sam ki um mujhse naraaz ho...and hona bhi chahiye. Aakhir meri wajah se hi to tumne roshni ko khoya hai na..."
Tears threatened to flow from his eyes.
One end of his lips curled upwards and he saw the setting sun...
"HAAN RATHOD... YOU WERE RIGHT. MUJHE MAAFI NAHIN MILNI CHAHIYE... cos I am the reason she died... but...but I did not do that intentionally Rathod... trust me..."
He slid down on the ground, leaning backwards his head resting against the railings.
"nahin bacha saka usse main...i failed... wo mere pass thi par tumhari amanat thhi aur main usse nahin bacha saka..."
He buried his head between his knees and sobbed...
His head jerked up as the words spoken by angry Rathod resonated in his ears
'aaj ke baad dobara kisiko tumhari wajah se takleef pohunchi I am not going to tolerate that'
He slowly got up from there and marched towards his SUV. He silently sat in it and started the ignition. Aimlessly he rode through the roads of Mumbai, with tears flowing down his eyes.
'pachtave se galtiyon pe parda nahin padta hai Raute'
He was driving through lonely road. He halted the SUV with a screech. He got down and stood leaning against it.
"mujhe pachtava hai Rathod...pachtava hai ki main usse bacha nahin saka... magar uss din jo mujhe sahi laga maine kiya. But mujhe andaaza tak nahin tha ki wo meri zindagi ka sabse bada galat faisla niklega."
He slid down and sat against the SUV.
"Main hun hi itna badnaseeb ki jahan bhi main jau, jise bhi main pyaar karun wo mujhse door jaate hai... I am sorry Rathod... really sorry."
'uski aur hum sab ki zindagi mein andhera karne ke baad...'
'Rishton ki samajh tumhe thi hi kahan raute, jot um samajh paate'
Memories played as imagery in front of his eyes...
They met like two thunderbolt striking on earth at training academy.
They became best buddies during their course. They were inseparable. They teased each other, fought with each other, complained about each other. Yet they were friends..
then he had met her. His angel... Roshni...
she was best buddy of Sameer and was more than a little sister to him. it was through sameer he had met her and instantly fell in love with her.
He waited till he joined police force so that he was ready to take her responsibility.
But he was soon sent on various missions across India.
Both he and sameer were soon promoted as ACP's. He then proposed Roshni and she instantly agreed to marry.
With sameer's consent, they entered wedlock.
'shraadh karne se tumhare man ko shanty mil sakti hai raute, lekin agar tumhe lagta hai ki roshni ke saath jo hua uske liye tumhe maafi mil jaayegi, galat lagta hai tumhe'
'kyuni maafi tumhe milegi bhi nahin'
Arjun closed his ears with his hands to block sameer's voice.
"STOP IT SAMEER...JUST STOP... I JUST CANT..."
He again started sobbing.
What was his fault?? Just that he chose mind over heart? Chose duty over love??? What was his mistake????
He started speaking between sobs
"mera sirf ek galti hai Rathod. Sirf ek. Ki maine apni zindagi se zyada logon ki jaan bachana important samjha. Bas.. lekin ye faisla mujhse meri roshni ko cheen lega, nahin jaanta tha... nahin jaanta tha main... wo sikander najaane kitnon ko jaan se maar diya tha."
"jaanta hun tum naaraaz kyun ho... ki maine tumhare kehne ke bawarjood sikander ko pakad ne gaya. Jaanta hu... I today wish I had listened to you sameer... I wish... if I had listened to you roshni would be with me, with you today..."
He wiped his eyes hastily
"tumhara naraaz hona jaayaz hai. I agree... mujhe tumse maafi bhi nahin chahiye. Maangunga bhi nahin sameer. I know I don't deserve it."
'tum chahe jo marzi aaye kehlo raute, lekin sach ye hai ki roshni aaj humare beech sirf tumhari wajah se nahin hai. aur iskeliye main tumhe kabhi maaf nahin kar sakta. I can never forgive you'
He let out a sad laugh and lay on the ground next to SUV, facing sky. Tears were soaking his face.
"pata hai roshni, har raat tum mere sapno mein aati ho... mere saath rehti ho... par thodi der mein tum chali jaati ho... kyun? Mere saath waqt bitaana accha nahin lagta kya tumhe?? Pata hai roshni, sapne mai bhi main tumhe sikander se nahin bacha paata. Kaisa pati hun na main? Aankhon ke saamne hi patni ko marte dekh raha tha... phir bhi bacha nahin paaya roshni..."
He was quiet for sometime and spoke again
"kyat um Rathod mera matlab tumhare sameer bhai ke sapne mein bhi jaati ho?? Main mana nahin karoonga. Shayad agar wo hota to tum aaj zinda hoti. Wo bhi aaj meri wajah se dard mein hai... aaj dekha na tumne? Apne andar ka dard wo gusse ke roop mein mere oopar nikala... main uska bura nahin manta... "
He again went quiet...unable to form words...to express his desire
"agar tumhe bura naa lage to ek request karun? Sam se baat karne ke baad kya tum mere paas aa sakti ho??
Bas thodi der ke liye... main tumhe apni baahon mein pakad na chahta hun, tumhe mehsoos karna chahta hun. Sapno mein hi sahi, dil mein har pal chubne waala dard bhulna chahta hun... aaogi na...?"
He was there, all alone... no one to sooth the pain he was under going. No one to help him out of the darkness he was drowning in. everyone found him guilty... he never asked for help... cos he always felt,
He was GUILTY...
i am not able to write any more...
please do tell me how it is...
i ll be waiting for your comments...
comment:
p_commentcount