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|DOTW| - How much spoiling is too much spoiling?

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Justlikethat1

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Justlikethat1

Joined: 10 October 2011

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Posted: 30 March 2013 at 8:18am | IP Logged
Here I am guys with this weeks DOTW.Smile  Spoiling children and indulging them.. How far can one go? Is there a point where one should stop and put the foot down?

In SNS we have had Rashi throwing tantrums for the past few months and her every wish and whim being satisfied by her sasural.

There is a saying "Save the rod, spoil the child"

Not to be taken literally of course. Corporal punishment is not exactly recommended. But how much should one give in to unreasonable demands? Be it a child or a grown up?

How much spoiling is too much spoiling? There is no doubt that at times we do like to indulge our loved ones. We care for them and want to see them happy. But where should this stop?

Is it right to keep letting our loved ones go in a path that we know is not correct just because they are crying and throw a tantrum? Or should one take a stand, however hard it is?

What do you think would be the way to tackle people like Rashi?

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Xarina

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Posted: 30 March 2013 at 2:56pm | IP Logged
Harini, not quite sane atm ROFL Will come back later and comment. 

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swasthi

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swasthi

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Posted: 30 March 2013 at 3:00pm | IP Logged
Spoiling one's child rotten is not the answer to giving them a better life.

Teaching a child to have the ability to make sensible choices. Further, making a child aware of what is right and wrong and that wrong means that they will have to bear the consequences. These are the ingredients of some of the good parenting skills. 

Is this what Urmila has done for her daughter Rashi? 

She has pampered Rashi and continues to do so into her adult and now married life. This will naturally be past on to her expectant twins too as a mother to be, Rashi knows no better.  

Rashi will have to learn hard life lessons rapidly if she wants to become a better mother. Her time is soon running out as her pregnancy comes to an end leaving her with two children to mother. 

The new tug-o-war will be the game of who is the better mother - Rashi or Gopi. This is a track that will not be a pleasant one to watch.

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swasthi

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Posted: 30 March 2013 at 3:01pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Xarina

Harini, not quite sane atm ROFL Will come back later and comment. 

Xarina, I know that feeling - for me it is too much chocolates and hot cross buns atm.

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Deepzpadukone

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Posted: 31 March 2013 at 4:43am | IP Logged
My mom and dad have brought my brother and I up so that we don't take things for granted. 

For me I see that Rashi does not take the things that she has and see what she has.. Hope this makes sense.

Urmi has spoilt her thinking that riches is the way to go and this prob way though the spoiling Rashi married Jigar and is she happy?


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Sunnyahem

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Sunnyahem

Joined: 05 February 2012

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Posted: 31 March 2013 at 9:41am | IP Logged
I think the worst part of spoiling a kid is that u r setting them up to think the world revolves around them ... So if u aren't a billionaire .. That's a pretty stupid thing to do ...

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ANJ4

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ANJ4

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Posted: 31 March 2013 at 10:55am | IP Logged
My parents have spoil me ... But my parents have always told me not to take things for granted...  love  & Family is the most important ... with out the support of your family you are dirt poor... and not to take avantage of others when they are down...coz you could love everything in the blink of a eye...   hope that make sense...

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Justlikethat1

Xarina

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Xarina

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Posted: 31 March 2013 at 11:00am | IP Logged
Nice topic.  OK I am sane in my book so consider myself fit enough to answer if not spell properly or make typosBig smile.
 
In my mind there is a limit to which one spoils or indulges a child. We can do it within reason but set guidelines where even the child knows that they are overstepping the mark.   Rashi is not a child and I was horrified at how she was mollycoddled and mollified by the elder ladies for a whim!  That really disgusted me.  Becoming an adult surely she is aware that certain things can not be so easily gained without some thought and work being put in.  Growing up will teach you that lesson.
 
Now back to spoiling a child.  If we indulge in their every wish they will not know the meaning of patience or how good it is to achieve something that which they have worked hard to get.  As a parent we say that our children are special to us and we want the best for them.  We teach them to be strong in themselves and to strive for what is good, admonish them when they do wrong but reward them when they do right.  Unfortunately some parents are not wired that way.  Either for a quiet life they give in when not able to stand the child's tantrums or for a sense of superiority they push their child into believing that they are above everyone else and expect to be treated as such as they move on in life.
 
Now if we look into the way that Urmila has raised Rashi what do we see a money grabbing, power hungry woman?  Take Gopi out of the equation,  imagine that she was never part of the get up.  What do you see?  A mother who wants the best in life for her daughter? Or a daughter so indulged that she does not know the meaning of patience, no or to consider someone else with a little bit of humanity. 
 
Right that is me going round in circles and talking for nonesene.LOL  Will be back later to add more. Big smile

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Justlikethat1

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