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Difference Between Two Fathers

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Muskaan92

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Muskaan92

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Posted: 25 March 2013 at 11:36pm | IP Logged
Crime Patrol Dastak recently showed two cases that revealed totally different faces and two fathers...

Anjali's Father: A father of a drug addict, rebellious and mad kind of daughter. A middle class man who had to run the entire family from limited income. Still, he left his job, worked for less money for his daughter. He made every attempt in bringing her daughter back even when she HATED him.
He admitted her in a rehab which always charges a handsome sum of fees.

He always thought good about her and never thought that she should DIE.



Vishal's father: A father of alcoholic yet quiet son. A rich man whose daily income must be around lakhs of rupees...He could spent his whole life for his son to free him from addiction. He thought that his son was a bad mark on his reputation... He made the attempt to kill him and succeeded too... he never thought that his son should stay alive.


The father who had lots of money but NO LOVE for his son...
The father who had no money but LOTS OF LOVE for his daughter...



Please share your precious views on this...
Which father was a real father..???

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madhoo

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madhoo

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Posted: 26 March 2013 at 9:38am | IP Logged

Wow Muskaan  

Very beautifully explained.  Although it seems like Anjali's father was a better father than Vishaal's father, but it's not that simple.

 

Yes Vishaal's father had a lot of money and he could've spent a lot of money to bring him back on track, but the real question is: was Vishaal's addiction to alcohol and drugs was the only issue his parents were dealing with?  Having said that, and assuming that Vishaal's being a gay was his parents' biggest issue, that still didn't give him the rights to kill him.

 

I always tell my husband that having kids is not hard at all - anybody can do that, but it's about bringing them up, that's the challenge - that's what being a parent really is.  And I would say, as a parent, both of them failed because kids will only stop listening to their parents when they're not given enough love and/or attention.  Anjali's father - he was always frustrated and always took his frustration out on his wife in front of his two girls.  Kids should not be seeing this - they should see and learn about love and careness, not frustration and violence.  It was Anjali's surrounding (hate, violence, frustration, etc.) that drove her to seek love elsewhere, which, unfortunately, took her to the wrong path - toward drugs.  Anjali's father failed due to his anger and frustration, but at least he tried to correct it at the end.

 

Now let's talk about Vishaal's upbringing.  I don't have enough information on his upbringing, except that his dad was way too busy making money.  Money is important, but at the end of the day, you have to make sure you give your family the time too.  I may not know all the facts about Vishaal's situation, but I can tell one thing for sure: Vishaal did not become drug addict in one day only - it must've started slowly.  In fact, I believe his father did say that they only knew about his drug addiction for 5 years only but he was drug addict for a longer period.  So the thing is that Vishaal obviously walked on this path slowly.  The question is why though?  Was he seeking his dad's attention and when he asked for it, he got slapped with money instead?  Did he eventually thought that as long as he has the money, he can get the attention elsewhere, which eventually drove him toward drugs?  And by the time his father finally paid attention to Vishaal, he thought that if I stop giving him the money everything will be fine.  Again, it's money he was thinking, not the attention or love Vishaal desperately needed.  So yes, as Vishaal's father, he failed too and his way of correcting his mistake was through money again.

 

As a father, both of them failed at the beginning because they both had the same motive at the beginning - money.  Mind you, it's not wrong to think about money, but thinking about only money all the time is wrong.  None of them gave their kids the love, the attention they were seeking.  At the end both tried to bring their kids back on track - one by locking the kid in a room and the other one by locking his bank account.  Love aur attention to dono mein se kisi ne bhi nahi diya. 

 

Anybody noticed that while Anjali was in rehab, she was getting better?  Why?  Because she was getting the love and attention she was seeking all those years.

 

As for Vishaal, not only he was missing his dad's love and attention, but he was also fighting a battle with himself for being a gay.  He desperately needed his dad, not his dad's money.

 

Bottom line: having kids is not a challenge at all; it's bringing them up that parents needs to think about before planning for kid(s).

 



Edited by madhoo - 26 March 2013 at 9:50am

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Posted: 26 March 2013 at 12:17pm | IP Logged
Excellent topic, Muskaan! I didn't get opportunity to watch Vishal 'sstory but after reading some of the post I got the idea; story of rich family- father killed his own son because he was addicted to drugs and alcohol and was gay too. I really like Madhoo response. Very well said! I too agree that "pravarish" of kids are challenging work and team work so the couple have to work very clamly and smartly. I have even seen families where due to too much of saas-bahu and husband-wife jaghade kids life get spoil.

Edited by Megha2011 - 26 March 2013 at 12:19pm

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Ritu-Muskaan92

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Posted: 26 March 2013 at 1:07pm | IP Logged
Loved the topic muskaan. Clap
 
So agree with you. Both of their kids had the same problem. They were taking drugs. But this rich snooty dad thought about himself and his reputation rather than his own son's health. He never thought about what his son might be going through. He didn't even think once before taking such a drastic step. I agree that what Vishal was doing was wrong but that doesn't mean that he should kill him. He should have supported his son and been with him and stood by him. As a father it was his responsibility to help his son come out of this addiction.
 
On the other hand Anjali's father didn't give up and stood by her in these times. He supported her in the difficult time and didn't judge her. For him she was his precious daughter who was in trouble and needed help. I loved his determination to do the right thing and fight for his daughter's well being.

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Muskaan92

Muskaan92

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Muskaan92

Joined: 08 October 2011

Posts: 10803

Posted: 26 March 2013 at 9:06pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by madhoo

Wow Muskaan  

Very beautifully explained.  Although it seems like Anjali's father was a better father than Vishaal's father, but it's not that simple.

 

Yes Vishaal's father had a lot of money and he could've spent a lot of money to bring him back on track, but the real question is: was Vishaal's addiction to alcohol and drugs was the only issue his parents were dealing with?  Having said that, and assuming that Vishaal's being a gay was his parents' biggest issue, that still didn't give him the rights to kill him.

 

I always tell my husband that having kids is not hard at all - anybody can do that, but it's about bringing them up, that's the challenge - that's what being a parent really is.  And I would say, as a parent, both of them failed because kids will only stop listening to their parents when they're not given enough love and/or attention.  Anjali's father - he was always frustrated and always took his frustration out on his wife in front of his two girls.  Kids should not be seeing this - they should see and learn about love and careness, not frustration and violence.  It was Anjali's surrounding (hate, violence, frustration, etc.) that drove her to seek love elsewhere, which, unfortunately, took her to the wrong path - toward drugs.  Anjali's father failed due to his anger and frustration, but at least he tried to correct it at the end.

 

Now let's talk about Vishaal's upbringing.  I don't have enough information on his upbringing, except that his dad was way too busy making money.  Money is important, but at the end of the day, you have to make sure you give your family the time too.  I may not know all the facts about Vishaal's situation, but I can tell one thing for sure: Vishaal did not become drug addict in one day only - it must've started slowly.  In fact, I believe his father did say that they only knew about his drug addiction for 5 years only but he was drug addict for a longer period.  So the thing is that Vishaal obviously walked on this path slowly.  The question is why though?  Was he seeking his dad's attention and when he asked for it, he got slapped with money instead?  Did he eventually thought that as long as he has the money, he can get the attention elsewhere, which eventually drove him toward drugs?  And by the time his father finally paid attention to Vishaal, he thought that if I stop giving him the money everything will be fine.  Again, it's money he was thinking, not the attention or love Vishaal desperately needed.  So yes, as Vishaal's father, he failed too and his way of correcting his mistake was through money again.

 

As a father, both of them failed at the beginning because they both had the same motive at the beginning - money.  Mind you, it's not wrong to think about money, but thinking about only money all the time is wrong.  None of them gave their kids the love, the attention they were seeking.  At the end both tried to bring their kids back on track - one by locking the kid in a room and the other one by locking his bank account.  Love aur attention to dono mein se kisi ne bhi nahi diya. 

 

Anybody noticed that while Anjali was in rehab, she was getting better?  Why?  Because she was getting the love and attention she was seeking all those years.

 

As for Vishaal, not only he was missing his dad's love and attention, but he was also fighting a battle with himself for being a gay.  He desperately needed his dad, not his dad's money.

 

Bottom line: having kids is not a challenge at all; it's bringing them up that parents needs to think about before planning for kid(s).

 




Thank You...Smile

Really well said madhoo di.
Giving birth to a child is very simple but transforming that child into a decent and good person is a task that needs endless efforts...

About Vishal, I agree with you. These points were not noticed by me. Yes, he was not getting the attention. Neither from his father nor mother. After knowing everything, his mother said in a rude tone-"Dukaan pe toh kuch kaam nahin karta". It may be a mother's way of scolding a "normal and healthy"  son but not a son like Vishal.

His brother, he didnt make any attempt to free his real brother from addiction. He could have suggested his parents to get him admitted to a rehab or send him out of the city on some hill station (they had enough money)...

Lastly, it was an indirect message from Crime Patrol that parents need to give time and attention to the children...
In any way,  father's act of killing Vishal cannot be justified...

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Ritu-

Muskaan92

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Muskaan92

Joined: 08 October 2011

Posts: 10803

Posted: 26 March 2013 at 9:22pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by Megha2011

Excellent topic, Muskaan! I didn't get opportunity to watch Vishal 'sstory but after reading some of the post I got the idea; story of rich family- father killed his own son because he was addicted to drugs and alcohol and was gay too. I really like Madhoo response. Very well said! I too agree that "pravarish" of kids are challenging work and team work so the couple have to work very clamly and smartly. I have even seen families where due to too much of saas-bahu and husband-wife jaghade kids life get spoil.



Thank You Megha...Smile
True. The child's environment leaves a permanent impact on him/her.

The parents should try to keep light and joyful atmosphere at home and should avoid conflicts in  front of them.

Muskaan92

IF-Sizzlerz

Muskaan92

Joined: 08 October 2011

Posts: 10803

Posted: 26 March 2013 at 9:25pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by -Ritu567-

Loved the topic muskaan. Clap
 
So agree with you. Both of their kids had the same problem. They were taking drugs. But this rich snooty dad thought about himself and his reputation rather than his own son's health. He never thought about what his son might be going through. He didn't even think once before taking such a drastic step. I agree that what Vishal was doing was wrong but that doesn't mean that he should kill him. He should have supported his son and been with him and stood by him. As a father it was his responsibility to help his son come out of this addiction.
 
On the other hand Anjali's father didn't give up and stood by her in these times. He supported her in the difficult time and didn't judge her. For him she was his precious daughter who was in trouble and needed help. I loved his determination to do the right thing and fight for his daughter's well being.



Thanks Ritu...Smile

Mr.Geonka's act was not at all right. He is the murderer of his own son...And, agreed that he was a gay...So what...?? That is not the life but a part of life.

I really dont understand why some parents value their family reputation more than their own blood..????Dead

Nikki.

Senior Member

Nikki.

Joined: 01 January 2013

Posts: 566

Posted: 28 March 2013 at 12:17pm | IP Logged
Excellent topic Muskan.
I have no idea what else to add
You have said everything.
Anjali's father tried his best to sort out his girl but all gone in vain. They both had the same problem one father tried to solve the problem the other tried to kill it. Shame on our society.
Vishal' s Father dont know what to say about him. Just becuase his son was gay he thinks lets kill him otherwise meri badnami hogi and i am saying goto hell with the society who cares what others think just do what you feel right. So what if he is gay. Its normal its totally accepted.

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