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Sexy violence? (Page 3)

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boreddamsel

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boreddamsel

Joined: 22 March 2012

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Posted: 25 March 2013 at 7:35am | IP Logged
Originally posted by -Aarya-

Before I jump off the fence on this topic, can you clarify:
 - Is this topic only pertaining to IF and FF content or  is the topic of discussion pertaining to literature in general?


Well.. it could be anything. I would love to hear your thoughts on both if that's alright! Smile

But I must add .. literature in general normally has an editor involved and people who rate the book before it gets published .. unlike FF's, so yeah I doubt there is literature out there that is as disgusting as FFs. The mods on IF are trying.. but the FF writers aren't listening, so well.. 

But funny .. I mean wasn't the arrogant hero, spunky heroine go back to like Pride and Prejudice for example.. and yet, Darcy not even once abused Elizabeth .. hurt her feelings yes, but not even once abused her! When did this trend start?

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return_to_hades

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return_to_hades

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Posted: 25 March 2013 at 7:42am | IP Logged

There is a big difference between BDSM and rape.

 

BDSM maybe violent or painful, but it is consensual. The people involved in BDSM enjoy some sort of violence/pain with sex or are at least willing to experiment with it.  While I have not read Fifty Shades, as far as I know the sex is completely consensual. From what I hear, while the woman does not exactly enjoy the sex, she really wants to do things for him because she is into him. Personally, I don't believe in doing something you don't enjoy, but it is a personal choice. I don't find anything wrong with BDSM. Even people who don't actually engage in it can enjoy literature or cinema that depicts it.

 

Rape on the other hand is forced sex. It is not always violent. At least one of the person involved has not consented, or was coerced/not of sound mind/intoxicated. This is a crime.

 

Now there are some people who are into rape fantasies. Some people engage in role-play that recreates rape. There is plenty of literature and po*n out there that depicts rape. Personally, I find it quite distasteful and grotesque. I can't possibly imagine how one can enjoy such things. But to each their own. I'm perfectly fine with mature adults enjoying such things as long as they understand the difference between fantasy and reality. Most adults who do enjoy fantasies and fetishes know that rape is serious crime and are cognizant of sexual ethics in their interactions.

 

There is a problem though with many impressionable teens and youth getting enamored with forced sex and rape fantasies. Many of these impressionable minds don't completely understand sexual relations, the responsibility behind it and the significance of consent. You see that on IF where many youth write FF where there is forced sex, rape and even pedophilia. The problem with indulging in such fantasies without maturity is that girls get the wrong idea about how relationships ought to be. They try to find men who are too forceful and encourage such behavior. And often times it is too late before they realize their mistakes. Date rape and drunk/coerced sex is such a common and  underreported crime amidst youth. Boys too get the wrong idea. They are told that patience, boundaries, respect are not as valuable and that they have to be tough go getters when it comes to women. So they end up being the ones who try to force or coerce their girlfriends because they think, that is what they ought to do.

 

I don't believe in censorship or prohibition, because in the digital age, there is plenty of resources for uncensored expression. You censor it on one website, ban a book from being published they find other website, find a way to workaround security, illegally download books and movies. The truth is we cannot shield youth from violent sex or a lot of unsavory realities in the world. The only way to ensure safety and respect in relationship is that parents, teachers, mentors, friends start bringing up sex, discussing it and teaching youth the implications of sexual relations, equip them to think and realize the difference between BDSM and rape, to understand the difference between fantasy and reality, how to be cognizant of what they and their partners like. Rather than censoring such stories, they ought to be accompanied with disclaimers and warnings.

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boreddamsel

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boreddamsel

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Posted: 25 March 2013 at 8:06am | IP Logged
@RTH, brilliant post and I agree with everything you said!

"The only way to ensure safety and respect in relationship is that parents, teachers, mentors, friends start bringing up sex, discussing it and teaching youth the implications of sexual relations, equip them to think and realize the difference between BDSM and rape, to understand the difference between fantasy and reality, how to be cognizant of what they and their partners like." 

THIS right here is the only solution, from the looks of it ..! 


What you said about 50 shades. 

"From what I hear, while the woman does not exactly enjoy the sex, she really wants to do things for him because she is into him." 

Yup, that's how it was.. and that was exactly my problem with the book. Like you said, it is a personal choice and I hope the readers understand that they don't need to really do what a guy wants in order to be with him! But like you said, all this can be resolved by giving youth the freedom to talk about sex with adults around them! 


Edited by boreddamsel - 25 March 2013 at 8:08am

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-Aarya-

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-Aarya-

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Posted: 25 March 2013 at 8:15am | IP Logged
Originally posted by boreddamsel

Originally posted by -Aarya-

Before I jump off the fence on this topic, can you clarify:
 - Is this topic only pertaining to IF and FF content or  is the topic of discussion pertaining to literature in general?


Well.. it could be anything. I would love to hear your thoughts on both if that's alright! Smile

But I must add .. literature in general normally has an editor involved and people who rate the book before it gets published .. unlike FF's, so yeah I doubt there is literature out there that is as disgusting as FFs. The mods on IF are trying.. but the FF writers aren't listening, so well.. 

But funny .. I mean wasn't the arrogant hero, spunky heroine go back to like Pride and Prejudice for example.. and yet, Darcy not even once abused Elizabeth .. hurt her feelings yes, but not even once abused her! When did this trend start?


I believe in free speech/press; the problem is that people approve of free speech/press, but only when they approve of the content and as soon as it involves sexual material that offends them, the principle of freedom of speech disappears. And why is that?

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boreddamsel

boreddamsel

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boreddamsel

Joined: 22 March 2012

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Posted: 25 March 2013 at 3:03pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by -Aarya-



I believe in free speech/press; the problem is that people approve of free speech/press, but only when they approve of the content and as soon as it involves sexual material that offends them, the principle of freedom of speech disappears. And why is that?


I believe in freedom of speech/press as well .. and I was using my freedom of speech to express my opinion about how freedom of speech/press is misused! Smile

We could go on into a debate about the freedom and misuse of speech/press, but that is not the issue here, or at least that's not what I had in mind when I made this post.

I am not saying people shouldn't write about sexy violence, that's up to them .. the same way it's totally up to readers and viewers to read erotica or watch po*n! I personally have nothing against sexual content.. I read and watch to my heart's content LOL 

My concern was how wrong information is given to people who might not even understand what is right/wrong. Here, the "wrong" is totally subjective. What I consider wrong might be perfectly appropriate to the author! 

You could argue that readers shouldn't read stuff if they don't have the capability to understand what is right or wrong about it. Sure all sites with mature content put disclaimers, warnings and age checks, but that isn't enough ... that doesn't make sure teens don't read this. One can only hope they realize what's wrong before its too late! One can hope that adults around them monitor what they read or watch, that these teens ask adults to help them separate the right from wrong... 

Well why should I say just teens .. when people older than me find what I think is wrong to be appropriate .. when people older than me think violence is sexy! 

Sure, I could keep quiet and let people read what they want. Of course I am sure those people I made this post for have completely ignored this post because they are reading the FF's with mature content right now. But that's cool, at least I feel at peace because I tried! 

I feel very strongly about domestic violence .. and after watching that video, and hearing the speaker encourage people who are familiar with the "crazy love" scenario to spread the word, I just had to make this post. 

Sorry for the rant! Tongue 


Edited by boreddamsel - 25 March 2013 at 3:06pm

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moomin4455

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moomin4455

Joined: 08 March 2012

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Posted: 25 March 2013 at 5:15pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by -Aarya-

Originally posted by boreddamsel

Originally posted by -Aarya-

Before I jump off the fence on this topic, can you clarify:
 - Is this topic only pertaining to IF and FF content or  is the topic of discussion pertaining to literature in general?


Well.. it could be anything. I would love to hear your thoughts on both if that's alright! Smile

But I must add .. literature in general normally has an editor involved and people who rate the book before it gets published .. unlike FF's, so yeah I doubt there is literature out there that is as disgusting as FFs. The mods on IF are trying.. but the FF writers aren't listening, so well.. 

But funny .. I mean wasn't the arrogant hero, spunky heroine go back to like Pride and Prejudice for example.. and yet, Darcy not even once abused Elizabeth .. hurt her feelings yes, but not even once abused her! When did this trend start?


I believe in free speech/press; the problem is that people approve of free speech/press, but only when they approve of the content and as soon as it involves sexual material that offends them, the principle of freedom of speech disappears. And why is that?


There is freedom of speech with responsibility. Freedom of speech is a right and a privilege and should be used carefully because it is very powerful.

People have incited racism under the 'freedom of speech' banner, but is this right? Similarly saying it is sexy and right to rape a woman is freedom of speech gone wrong.

While we can't really stop people from coming out with such statements, we can educate impressionable listeners so that they know more about sexual relations to understand what is acceptable and what isn't.

I think Return To Hades made a great post on that.

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ANNMT.

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Posted: 25 March 2013 at 5:40pm | IP Logged
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boreddamsel

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boreddamsel

Joined: 22 March 2012

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Posted: 25 March 2013 at 10:15pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by ANNMT.

Originally posted by boreddamsel




Well.. it could be anything. I would love to hear your thoughts on both if that's alright!Smile



But I must add .. literature in general normally has an editor involved and people who rate the book before it gets published .. unlike FF's, so yeah I doubt there is literature out there that is as disgusting as FFs. The mods on IF are trying.. but the FF writers aren't listening, so well..



But funny .. I mean wasn't the arrogant hero, spunky heroine go back to like Pride and Prejudice for example.. and yet, Darcy not even once abused Elizabeth .. hurt her feelings yes, but not even once abused her! When did this trend start?

<div></div>it's called emotional abused n assult , alwayes abuse physicall ho, not necessary , mental n verbal abuse bhi hota hai n it 's also wrong



Agreed.. I would equate verbal abuse to name calling. Please correct me if I'm wrong.
Or even tormenting someone by continuously demeaning them.. Harassing them.
Darcy did none of those..

Edited by boreddamsel - 25 March 2013 at 10:19pm

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