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Sexy violence? (Page 2)

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boreddamsel

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boreddamsel

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Posted: 24 March 2013 at 9:59am | IP Logged
Originally posted by farheen75

Excellent topic arti... I think most the writes as well as their readers only associate violence with physical abuse or rape, they don't associate it with ones husband or BFs... They can't differentiate between kinky and forced.

Regarding the FFs which sometimes portray this kind of sex what I feel us that most of the readers don't find it objectionable as they constantly see their favourite actor as hero and hence don't associate such atrociousness with him and its their loyalty to the character that force them behave like this but if u make them read the same story with a fictional hero who they have not witnessed on TV then u will be surprise to notice a marked difference in their behaviour as in those stories their sympathies will be with the heroine who is married to such a beast... That's why I say that TV is a very powerful medium and it influence the mind of its viewers like nobody else and media have to be very careful in the content they r showing as it strongly makes of breaks people opinions.

I am talking about FF's where girls giggle about the fact that it hurts when they walk, the day after they were raped. I haven't read these ones to know how bad this is, but I have heard about it! You tell me how on earth can someone take rape lightly? 

True, so are you saying they will be smart enough to realize that this is just fiction? If that is so, then sure, I have nothing to worry. In the video the speaker says that its a misconception that abuse victims are weak .. or stupid .. when they aren't! People who don't read fan fictions walk into it .. 'coz I am pretty sure when she was a teen there was no fan fiction .. so what might happen if girls who read fan fiction walk into it? I don't know .. and it scares me! All I do know is I will make sure I know what my future kids read and watch! 

TV is a powerful medium. True, there are shows like Law and Order or even similar Indian shows like Shaitan or SMJ which bring up issues of domestic violence. The problem is viewers who watch those shows cannot relate those incidents with what is happening in the FFs or the fictional shows. Why? Just because its fiction, it will never happen in real life? I am all for dark hero-meek girl love stories.. but a dark hero who abuses the meek girl and gets away with it and wins her heart .. is plain wrong! 


Edited by boreddamsel - 24 March 2013 at 10:01am

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boreddamsel

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boreddamsel

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Posted: 24 March 2013 at 10:01am | IP Logged
@Mooms.. I read your comment. Need to rush to the lab .. Ermm 
Will reply in a bit. 

rini_kat

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rini_kat

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Posted: 24 March 2013 at 10:17am | IP Logged
Originally posted by boreddamsel

That made me wonder why 50 shades of Grey topped the charts. I read the book, I thought the way Grey repented was sweet.. but I didn't like how Ana encouraged him to hurt her 'coz she thought he loved it! But I wonder what made the other millions of readers like that book .. was it the violent sex?
 


I am quoting u..Yes It made me wonder really how 50 shades topped the list...I too didn't like Ana's encouragement...But don't have any grudge against Grey as he is not mentally sane...he had certain inhibitions related to his past which he could not shed upon owing to his insecurities but over course of time he finally overcame them...I liked the characterisation of Grey...Frankly speaking I liked 50 shades darker more than 50 shades of grey as it has some story in it...and grey has nothing other than kinky=f**kery ...

Sexual violence is not at all a cool thing...I really not comfortable reading those things either in books or FFs...But  I feel that certain things r incorporated by the authors in their writings to show the depth of their characters..I perceived it in this way...I don't think they glorify sexual-violence ..but give  us inset to some of the characters.Christian Grey is one of the very dark characters ...To give the measure of his darkness such stuffs r introduced...So that we can feel how much sexually obessed a person can get...If Grey is devoid of kinkey-f**kery staffs...then his character would have been much sombered down ...then the intensity would have been much lower...another angry young hot man nothing more...He is a mental patient that is shown through his acts...To the world  he is a rich devilishly handsome men...but  what the world don't know that he has insecurities and that slowly darkened his life...I liked the transformation part of Grey very much...

         

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moomin4455boreddamsel

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boreddamsel

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Posted: 24 March 2013 at 11:27am | IP Logged
Originally posted by moomin4455

Well...this is part of life. These are issues that people, men or women, face across the globe. And yes even in India, where society is beginning to change in metropolitan areas. It's not just icky stuff that happens in the West.

Rape of women, men and children, other forms of non-consensual sexual violence, infidelity,  live-ins, these are all real. I wish we could consign all the violent stuff to FF or literature. Unfortunately for some people these are part of their daily life. These should be discussed and I see no problem with them being discussed here. 

Ha, what's the use even if it happens? India refuses to criminalize marital rape.. ! 

But, Mooms, I completely agree. The "ickiness" is one of the main reasons domestic abuse and sexual violence doesn't get reported. People are ashamed to talk about it. I mean I don't talk to my parents about sex for example... I am still embarrassed to watch awkward scenes on TV with my parents around! Embarrassed Hoping that would change with the next generation... 'coz its best if your kids learn about it from you than from TV or other media. I was always embarrassed to talk about stuff I had heard, seen or experienced.. but I once did, and it helped one of my friends move on with her life and she is happily married now. Since then I freely talk about what I know, who knows who it might help! 

BD I'm all for consensual sex, even you want to include kinky stuff in that - whips and chains and what not - then it has to be consensual.

If it's not consensual it's wrong and disgusting. That's all I have to say.

I am glad you brought that up. Sometimes even consensual is wrong... you know when? You might not really want to do it, but you say yes to make your partner happy. That is why most domestic violence prevails, 'coz the abuser convinces his/her rape victim that the act is alright .. and the victim, out of their love for the person, gives in.


Those people who like such FF or literature are just consigning it to fantasy I hope - there's a big difference between a fantasy and experiencing rough, unwanted treatment even if it is from a hot guy (or gal) in reality.

Unwanted bruises, rape, verbal or physical assault and rape is just disgusting.

I changed my post to make everything (s)he.. 'coz you are right even women can be violent! The speaker says about 85% abusers are male, but that means there are 15% female abusers too! 

I don't know if they can understand the difference. I know moral policing is not allowed on IF.. and this post is not trying to tell them what they are doing is wrong, but is to at least give them a chance to form their own opinion!


Edited by boreddamsel - 24 March 2013 at 11:44am

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boreddamsel

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boreddamsel

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Posted: 24 March 2013 at 11:34am | IP Logged
Originally posted by rini_kat



I am quoting u..Yes It made me wonder really how 50 shades topped the list...I too didn't like Ana's encouragement...But don't have any grudge against Grey as he is not mentally sane...he had certain inhibitions related to his past which he could not shed upon owing to his insecurities but over course of time he finally overcame them...I liked the characterisation of Grey...Frankly speaking I liked 50 shades darker more than 50 shades of grey as it has some story in it...and grey has nothing other than kinky=f**kery ...

Sexual violence is not at all a cool thing...I really not comfortable reading those things either in books or FFs...But  I feel that certain things r incorporated by the authors in their writings to show the depth of their characters..I perceived it in this way...I don't think they glorify sexual-violence ..but give  us inset to some of the characters.Christian Grey is one of the very dark characters ...To give the measure of his darkness such stuffs r introduced...So that we can feel how much sexually obessed a person can get...If Grey is devoid of kinkey-f**kery staffs...then his character would have been much sombered down ...then the intensity would have been much lower...another angry young hot man nothing more...He is a mental patient that is shown through his acts...To the world  he is a rich devilishly handsome men...but  what the world don't know that he has insecurities and that slowly darkened his life...I liked the transformation part of Grey very much...

         

LOL.. this was not meant to be a discussion on 50 shades of grey . and Christian Grey. That was just an example. 

True. They were showing his character.. I agree to all you said. Like I said, I didn't mind the book much except for the fact that they showed her becoming weak and agreeing to things he did 'coz she loved him.. she cried through some acts and controlled herself just so that he will be happy... and accepting his dominance about the name change and the job as possessiveness. Sure she did get angry and pissed him off.. I don't remember the details any more.. 

But I am telling you .. people who read that book might think they can go into a relationship with a flawed man and one day he will change into Christian Grey.. and be all adorable and say all those sweet words! A few months/years into it.. you realize that the book was fiction and your life is real! 

People never change in real life .. never! 

Of course I guess you can say the same thing about romcoms.. it gives false hope. People who read it should understand. But do they? They never do. Girls still dream about their perfect romance! But its better to have a broken heart than bruises from an abusive relationship! 


Edited by boreddamsel - 24 March 2013 at 11:37am

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rini_kat

rini_kat

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rini_kat

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Posted: 24 March 2013 at 11:49am | IP Logged
Originally posted by boreddamsel

Originally posted by rini_kat



I am quoting u..Yes It made me wonder really how 50 shades topped the list...I too didn't like Ana's encouragement...But don't have any grudge against Grey as he is not mentally sane...he had certain inhibitions related to his past which he could not shed upon owing to his insecurities but over course of time he finally overcame them...I liked the characterisation of Grey...Frankly speaking I liked 50 shades darker more than 50 shades of grey as it has some story in it...and grey has nothing other than kinky=f**kery ...

Sexual violence is not at all a cool thing...I really not comfortable reading those things either in books or FFs...But  I feel that certain things r incorporated by the authors in their writings to show the depth of their characters..I perceived it in this way...I don't think they glorify sexual-violence ..but give  us inset to some of the characters.Christian Grey is one of the very dark characters ...To give the measure of his darkness such stuffs r introduced...So that we can feel how much sexually obessed a person can get...If Grey is devoid of kinkey-f**kery staffs...then his character would have been much sombered down ...then the intensity would have been much lower...another angry young hot man nothing more...He is a mental patient that is shown through his acts...To the world  he is a rich devilishly handsome men...but  what the world don't know that he has insecurities and that slowly darkened his life...I liked the transformation part of Grey very much...

         

LOL.. this was not meant to be a discussion on 50 shades of grey . and Christian Grey. That was just an example. 

True. They were showing his character.. I agree to all you said. Like I said, I didn't mind the book much except for the fact that they showed her becoming weak and agreeing to things he did 'coz she loved him.. she cried through some acts and controlled herself just so that he will be happy... and accepting his dominance about the name change and the job as possessiveness. Sure she did get angry and pissed him off.. I don't remember the details any more.. 

But I am telling you .. people who read that book might think they can go into a relationship with a flawed man and one day he will change into Christian Grey.. and be all adorable and say all those sweet words! A few months/years into it.. you realize that the book was fiction and your life is real! 

People never change in real life .. never! 

Of course I guess you can say the same thing about romcoms.. it gives false hope. People who read it should understand. But do they? They never do. Girls still dream about their perfect romance! But its better to have a broken heart than bruises from an abusive relationship! 


Yes I agree with u...I had given my opinion with respect to author's point of view...Yes real life is different ..Definitely don't support abusive relationship.I can't even imagine my life with  such kind of pathetic man...Its really painful that some people can't distinguish between reel and real...I also agree with u on the romance part too...Its really silly of some girl to expect their partner to be either Raj or Rahul actually BW had typeset them as perfect romantic guy...

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boreddamsel

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Posted: 24 March 2013 at 5:22pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by moomin4455

Originally posted by King-Anu

What the heck is going on here?
 
Sex, love, marriage, live ins, .I think IF needs a dedicated forum on these.
 
Those who are into such stuff or read such literature must be sick perverts.
 
There is not much else to say.
 
 
 

Well...this is part of life. These are issues that people, men or women, face across the globe. And yes even in India, where society is beginning to change in metropolitan areas. It's not just icky stuff that happens in the West.

fair enough
 
Rape of women, men and children, other forms of non-consensual sexual violence, infidelity,  live-ins, these are all real. I wish we could consign all the violent stuff to FF or literature. Unfortunately for some people these are part of their daily life. These should be discussed and I see no problem with them being discussed here. 

yes I just reacted immaturely. lol. it was just that lots of topics lately are relationship types so i thought why not a separate forum. however u all can discuss here as well. 
 

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Posted: 25 March 2013 at 6:32am | IP Logged
Before I jump off the fence on this topic, can you clarify:
 - Is this topic only pertaining to IF and FF content or  is the topic of discussion pertaining to literature in general?



Edited by -Aarya- - 25 March 2013 at 6:33am

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