Sexy violence? - Page 2

Originally posted by: boreddamsel

That made me wonder why 50 shades of Grey topped the charts. I read the book, I thought the way Grey repented was sweet.. but I didn't like how Ana encouraged him to hurt her 'coz she thought he loved it! But I wonder what made the other millions of readers like that book .. was it the violent sex?

 

I am quoting u..Yes It made me wonder really how 50 shades topped the list...I too didn't like Ana's encouragement...But don't have any grudge against Grey as he is not mentally sane...he had certain inhibitions related to his past which he could not shed upon owing to his insecurities but over course of time he finally overcame them...I liked the characterisation of Grey...Frankly speaking I liked 50 shades darker more than 50 shades of grey as it has some story in it...and grey has nothing other than kinky=f**kery ...

Sexual violence is not at all a cool thing...I really not comfortable reading those things either in books or FFs...But  I feel that certain things r incorporated by the authors in their writings to show the depth of their characters..I perceived it in this way...I don't think they glorify sexual-violence ..but give  us inset to some of the characters.Christian Grey is one of the very dark characters ...To give the measure of his darkness such stuffs r introduced...So that we can feel how much sexually obessed a person can get...If Grey is devoid of kinkey-f**kery staffs...then his character would have been much sombered down ...then the intensity would have been much lower...another angry young hot man nothing more...He is a mental patient that is shown through his acts...To the world  he is a rich devilishly handsome men...but  what the world don't know that he has insecurities and that slowly darkened his life...I liked the transformation part of Grey very much...

         

Originally posted by: moomin4455

Well...this is part of life. These are issues that people, men or women, face across the globe. And yes even in India, where society is beginning to change in metropolitan areas. It's not just icky stuff that happens in the West.

Rape of women, men and children, other forms of non-consensual sexual violence, infidelity,  live-ins, these are all real. I wish we could consign all the violent stuff to FF or literature. Unfortunately for some people these are part of their daily life. These should be discussed and I see no problem with them being discussed here. 

Ha, what's the use even if it happens? India refuses to criminalize marital rape.. ! 

But, Mooms, I completely agree. The "ickiness" is one of the main reasons domestic abuse and sexual violence doesn't get reported. People are ashamed to talk about it. I mean I don't talk to my parents about sex for example... I am still embarrassed to watch awkward scenes on TV with my parents around! 😳 Hoping that would change with the next generation... 'coz its best if your kids learn about it from you than from TV or other media. I was always embarrassed to talk about stuff I had heard, seen or experienced.. but I once did, and it helped one of my friends move on with her life and she is happily married now. Since then I freely talk about what I know, who knows who it might help! 

BD I'm all for consensual sex, even you want to include kinky stuff in that - whips and chains and what not - then it has to be consensual.

If it's not consensual it's wrong and disgusting. That's all I have to say.

I am glad you brought that up. Sometimes even consensual is wrong... you know when? You might not really want to do it, but you say yes to make your partner happy. That is why most domestic violence prevails, 'coz the abuser convinces his/her rape victim that the act is alright .. and the victim, out of their love for the person, gives in.

Those people who like such FF or literature are just consigning it to fantasy I hope - there's a big difference between a fantasy and experiencing rough, unwanted treatment even if it is from a hot guy (or gal) in reality.

Unwanted bruises, rape, verbal or physical assault and rape is just disgusting.

Edited by boreddamsel - 11 years ago

Originally posted by: rini_kat

I am quoting u..Yes It made me wonder really how 50 shades topped the list...I too didn't like Ana's encouragement...But don't have any grudge against Grey as he is not mentally sane...he had certain inhibitions related to his past which he could not shed upon owing to his insecurities but over course of time he finally overcame them...I liked the characterisation of Grey...Frankly speaking I liked 50 shades darker more than 50 shades of grey as it has some story in it...and grey has nothing other than kinky=f**kery ...

Sexual violence is not at all a cool thing...I really not comfortable reading those things either in books or FFs...But  I feel that certain things r incorporated by the authors in their writings to show the depth of their characters..I perceived it in this way...I don't think they glorify sexual-violence ..but give  us inset to some of the characters.Christian Grey is one of the very dark characters ...To give the measure of his darkness such stuffs r introduced...So that we can feel how much sexually obessed a person can get...If Grey is devoid of kinkey-f**kery staffs...then his character would have been much sombered down ...then the intensity would have been much lower...another angry young hot man nothing more...He is a mental patient that is shown through his acts...To the world  he is a rich devilishly handsome men...but  what the world don't know that he has insecurities and that slowly darkened his life...I liked the transformation part of Grey very much...

         

Edited by boreddamsel - 11 years ago

Originally posted by: boreddamsel

LOL.. this was not meant to be a discussion on 50 shades of grey . and Christian Grey. That was just an example. 

True. They were showing his character.. I agree to all you said. Like I said, I didn't mind the book much except for the fact that they showed her becoming weak and agreeing to things he did 'coz she loved him.. she cried through some acts and controlled herself just so that he will be happy... and accepting his dominance about the name change and the job as possessiveness. Sure she did get angry and pissed him off.. I don't remember the details any more.. 

But I am telling you .. people who read that book might think they can go into a relationship with a flawed man and one day he will change into Christian Grey.. and be all adorable and say all those sweet words! A few months/years into it.. you realize that the book was fiction and your life is real! 

People never change in real life .. never! 

Of course I guess you can say the same thing about romcoms.. it gives false hope. People who read it should understand. But do they? They never do. Girls still dream about their perfect romance! But its better to have a broken heart than bruises from an abusive relationship! 

Yes I agree with u...I had given my opinion with respect to author's point of view...Yes real life is different ..Definitely don't support abusive relationship.I can't even imagine my life with  such kind of pathetic man...Its really painful that some people can't distinguish between reel and real...I also agree with u on the romance part too...Its really silly of some girl to expect their partner to be either Raj or Rahul actually BW had typeset them as perfect romantic guy...

Originally posted by: moomin4455

Well...this is part of life. These are issues that people, men or women, face across the globe. And yes even in India, where society is beginning to change in metropolitan areas. It's not just icky stuff that happens in the West.

fair enough

 

Rape of women, men and children, other forms of non-consensual sexual violence, infidelity,  live-ins, these are all real. I wish we could consign all the violent stuff to FF or literature. Unfortunately for some people these are part of their daily life. These should be discussed and I see no problem with them being discussed here. 

yes I just reacted immaturely. lol. it was just that lots of topics lately are relationship types so i thought why not a separate forum. however u all can discuss here as well. 

 

Before I jump off the fence on this topic, can you clarify:
 - Is this topic only pertaining to IF and FF content or  is the topic of discussion pertaining to literature in general?

Edited by -Aarya- - 11 years ago

Originally posted by: -Aarya-

Before I jump off the fence on this topic, can you clarify:
 - Is this topic only pertaining to IF and FF content or  is the topic of discussion pertaining to literature in general?

There is a big difference between BDSM and rape.

 

BDSM maybe violent or painful, but it is consensual. The people involved in BDSM enjoy some sort of violence/pain with sex or are at least willing to experiment with it.  While I have not read Fifty Shades, as far as I know the sex is completely consensual. From what I hear, while the woman does not exactly enjoy the sex, she really wants to do things for him because she is into him. Personally, I don't believe in doing something you don't enjoy, but it is a personal choice. I don't find anything wrong with BDSM. Even people who don't actually engage in it can enjoy literature or cinema that depicts it.

 

Rape on the other hand is forced sex. It is not always violent. At least one of the person involved has not consented, or was coerced/not of sound mind/intoxicated. This is a crime.

 

Now there are some people who are into rape fantasies. Some people engage in role-play that recreates rape. There is plenty of literature and po*n out there that depicts rape. Personally, I find it quite distasteful and grotesque. I can't possibly imagine how one can enjoy such things. But to each their own. I'm perfectly fine with mature adults enjoying such things as long as they understand the difference between fantasy and reality. Most adults who do enjoy fantasies and fetishes know that rape is serious crime and are cognizant of sexual ethics in their interactions.

 

There is a problem though with many impressionable teens and youth getting enamored with forced sex and rape fantasies. Many of these impressionable minds don't completely understand sexual relations, the responsibility behind it and the significance of consent. You see that on IF where many youth write FF where there is forced sex, rape and even pedophilia. The problem with indulging in such fantasies without maturity is that girls get the wrong idea about how relationships ought to be. They try to find men who are too forceful and encourage such behavior. And often times it is too late before they realize their mistakes. Date rape and drunk/coerced sex is such a common and  underreported crime amidst youth. Boys too get the wrong idea. They are told that patience, boundaries, respect are not as valuable and that they have to be tough go getters when it comes to women. So they end up being the ones who try to force or coerce their girlfriends because they think, that is what they ought to do.

 

I don't believe in censorship or prohibition, because in the digital age, there is plenty of resources for uncensored expression. You censor it on one website, ban a book from being published – they find other website, find a way to workaround security, illegally download books and movies. The truth is we cannot shield youth from violent sex or a lot of unsavory realities in the world. The only way to ensure safety and respect in relationship is that parents, teachers, mentors, friends start bringing up sex, discussing it and teaching youth the implications of sexual relations, equip them to think and realize the difference between BDSM and rape, to understand the difference between fantasy and reality, how to be cognizant of what they and their partners like. Rather than censoring such stories, they ought to be accompanied with disclaimers and warnings.

@RTH, brilliant post and I agree with everything you said! Edited by boreddamsel - 11 years ago

Originally posted by: boreddamsel

Well.. it could be anything. I would love to hear your thoughts on both if that's alright! 😊

But I must add .. literature in general normally has an editor involved and people who rate the book before it gets published .. unlike FF's, so yeah I doubt there is literature out there that is as disgusting as FFs. The mods on IF are trying.. but the FF writers aren't listening, so well.. 

But funny .. I mean wasn't the arrogant hero, spunky heroine go back to like Pride and Prejudice for example.. and yet, Darcy not even once abused Elizabeth .. hurt her feelings yes, but not even once abused her! When did this trend start?

I believe in free speech/press; the problem is that people approve of free speech/press, but only when they approve of the content and as soon as it involves sexual material that offends them, the principle of freedom of speech disappears. And why is that?