Posted: 11 years ago
The topic of BDSM came up in a conversation yesterday. I explained how I had nothing against fun kinky sex, but strongly opposed anything painful, even if it is supposed to extremely pleasurable! That made me wonder why 50 shades of Grey topped the charts. I read the book, I thought the way Grey repented was sweet.. but I didn't like how Ana encouraged him to hurt her 'coz she thought he loved it! But I wonder what made the other millions of readers like that book .. was it the violent sex? I would have not believed people thought violence was sexy, till I saw the amount of fan fiction on this forum that glorify rape, violence and forced sex! It is astonishing how many likes such FFs get!! Makes me wonder do the readers even know what it is like to go through such a situation.. or do they just think its ok, 'coz they imagine their favorite actor or their hot colleague or maybe even a stranger doing those "naughty" things to them? 

If you have ever thought violence is sexy, if you ever clicked like on any FFs that glorify violent sex, if you ever justified shoving/grabbing/slapping/forced sex in the name of fiction, watch this video :

[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lNJjEZoRKqM[/YOUTUBE]

It made me cry buckets .. when I came across it earlier today, and made me want to write this post. 

Don't think if your partner doesn't own a gun, you are not in an abusive relationship. One day, (s)he will pick up the knife on the kitchen counter. 
Don't think because (s)he hasn't grabbed your neck yet, you are not in an abusive relationship. Pushing you or grabbing you roughly is abuse! 
Don't think it's cool that (s)he calls you a b**** when (s)he is angry, that's abuse too! 
Don't think this happens only in love marriages, you are safe if you are in an arranged marriage .. no you aren't!


Don't support fiction that has abuse.. you have no idea what its like to be in the receiving end, to be scared of when your significant other might attack you! 


Now, why is this in DM? 'coz I wanted to know why.. why some people think violence is sexy? Are they suffering from such a situation and trying to convince themselves that its normal? Or are they just innocent and have never experienced violence in their lives? If they are just naive.. how do you convince them that violence isn't sexy? Call me paranoid, but I don't want to stand by and watch these naive teens grow into adults who one day would want their partner to hurt them, because they think violent sex is more pleasurable? Clearly, if you try to explain to them, you will be cursed for saying something wrong against their favorite author, fan fiction writer, actor or hero!


PS: This is not a post bashing those shows. Do not jump down my throat for targeting two particular shows or actors; I don't care about them! It's the content of the shows and certain fan fictions based on these shows and the fact that there were people supporting it that I have a problem with! 
Edited by boreddamsel - 11 years ago
Posted: 11 years ago
What the heck is going on here?
 
Sex, love, marriage, live ins, .I think IF needs a dedicated forum on these.
 
Those who are into such stuff or read such literature must be sick perverts.
 
There is not much else to say.
 
 
 
Edited by King-Anu - 11 years ago
Posted: 11 years ago
Originally posted by King-Anu


What the heck is going on here?
 
Sex, love, marriage, live ins, .I think IF needs a dedicated forum on these.
 

LOL. I did talk about principles and trends too right! ðŸ˜† 
Posted: 11 years ago
Originally posted by boreddamsel



LOL. I did talk about principles and trends too right! ðŸ˜† 
 
 
its just that i am seeing marriage, infidelity, sex, liveins, love. Not only about you. anyway only joking.
Posted: 11 years ago
Originally posted by King-Anu


 
 
its just that i am seeing marriage, infidelity, sex, liveins, love. Not only about you. anyway only joking.

Important topics ðŸ˜Š 
Issues that need to be debated about! 

I know you are joking.. didn't take it to heart! ðŸ˜Š
Posted: 11 years ago
Originally posted by boreddamsel



Important topics ðŸ˜Š 
Issues that need to be debated about! 

I know you are joking.. didn't take it to heart! ðŸ˜Š
 
Posted: 11 years ago
Excellent topic arti... I think most the writes as well as their readers only associate violence with physical abuse or rape, they don't associate it with ones husband or BFs... They can't differentiate between kinky and forced.

Regarding the FFs which sometimes portray this kind of sex what I feel us that most of the readers don't find it objectionable as they constantly see their favourite actor as hero and hence don't associate such atrociousness with him and its their loyalty to the character that force them behave like this but if u make them read the same story with a fictional hero who they have not witnessed on TV then u will be surprise to notice a marked difference in their behaviour as in those stories their sympathies will be with the heroine who is married to such a beast... That's why I say that TV is a very powerful medium and it influence the mind of its viewers like nobody else and media have to be very careful in the content they r showing as it strongly makes of breaks people opinions.
Posted: 11 years ago
Originally posted by King-Anu


What the heck is going on here?
 
Sex, love, marriage, live ins, .I think IF needs a dedicated forum on these.
 
Those who are into such stuff or read such literature must be sick perverts.
 
There is not much else to say.
 
 
 

Well...this is part of life. These are issues that people, men or women, face across the globe. And yes even in India, where society is beginning to change in metropolitan areas. It's not just icky stuff that happens in the West.

Rape of women, men and children, other forms of non-consensual sexual violence, infidelity,  live-ins, these are all real. I wish we could consign all the violent stuff to FF or literature. Unfortunately for some people these are part of their daily life. These should be discussed and I see no problem with them being discussed here. 

BD I'm all for consensual sex, even you want to include kinky stuff in that - whips and chains and what not - then it has to be consensual.

If it's not consensual it's wrong and disgusting. That's all I have to say.

Those people who like such FF or literature are just consigning it to fantasy I hope - there's a big difference between a fantasy and experiencing rough, unwanted treatment even if it is from a hot guy (or gal) in reality.

Unwanted bruises, rape, verbal or physical assault and rape is just disgusting.
Posted: 11 years ago
Originally posted by farheen75


Excellent topic arti... I think most the writes as well as their readers only associate violence with physical abuse or rape, they don't associate it with ones husband or BFs... They can't differentiate between kinky and forced.

Regarding the FFs which sometimes portray this kind of sex what I feel us that most of the readers don't find it objectionable as they constantly see their favourite actor as hero and hence don't associate such atrociousness with him and its their loyalty to the character that force them behave like this but if u make them read the same story with a fictional hero who they have not witnessed on TV then u will be surprise to notice a marked difference in their behaviour as in those stories their sympathies will be with the heroine who is married to such a beast... That's why I say that TV is a very powerful medium and it influence the mind of its viewers like nobody else and media have to be very careful in the content they r showing as it strongly makes of breaks people opinions.

I am talking about FF's where girls giggle about the fact that it hurts when they walk, the day after they were raped. I haven't read these ones to know how bad this is, but I have heard about it! You tell me how on earth can someone take rape lightly? 

True, so are you saying they will be smart enough to realize that this is just fiction? If that is so, then sure, I have nothing to worry. In the video the speaker says that its a misconception that abuse victims are weak .. or stupid .. when they aren't! People who don't read fan fictions walk into it .. 'coz I am pretty sure when she was a teen there was no fan fiction .. so what might happen if girls who read fan fiction walk into it? I don't know .. and it scares me! All I do know is I will make sure I know what my future kids read and watch! 

TV is a powerful medium. True, there are shows like Law and Order or even similar Indian shows like Shaitan or SMJ which bring up issues of domestic violence. The problem is viewers who watch those shows cannot relate those incidents with what is happening in the FFs or the fictional shows. Why? Just because its fiction, it will never happen in real life? I am all for dark hero-meek girl love stories.. but a dark hero who abuses the meek girl and gets away with it and wins her heart .. is plain wrong! 
Edited by boreddamsel - 11 years ago
Posted: 11 years ago
@Mooms.. I read your comment. Need to rush to the lab .. ðŸ¤” 
Will reply in a bit. 

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