Joined: 31 October 2011
Months after that dialogue was uttered and the show is over, the one dialogue which haunts me is the characterless dialogue to Khushi. Yesterday I watched it again and once again I found that hurt is intact in me.
I have never been happy with the scenes which followed where Khushi ran around to prove herself. I have never been happy with the fact that she had to nearly die for Arnav to believe her. How easy for him!
So, here is my version of what should be...
Because you don't have a character Khushi...
Did he just mean what he said?
Did he believe she was so cheap?
Did he believe she would be intimate with another man and yet allow him to kiss her?
Did he believe she would have kissed him on his cheek if she was with Shyam?
Did he believe she was still carrying on behind his back with his sister's husband?
Did he believe she would wreck a home?
If believed all these, did he think she was a s**t?
Khushi felt dirty as sobs racked her body. She washed every inch of her body as if to cleanse away the mud of his ugly words.
She wanted to crawl somewhere and die. She wanted to rush forward and hunt for proofs about her innocence. She wanted rage and rant at him. She wanted to give agnipariksha (test of fire). She had heard from mythology that virtuous women never got burned down if they walked through fire. May be Arnavji would believe her then?
But then she stopped short. Why should she prove herself? If a woman never had any proof would she be considered characterless though she had never committed the crime? And what about Arnavji? Hadn't he been intimate with Lavanya countless times? Even when he had been engaged to her, he had attempted to kiss her? What did that make him? How was it that a man never had to prove his 'innocence' or 'virtue'?
No she would not give any 'proof'. She just would not be another woman sacrificed at the altar of suspicion...
Her dead silence made him feel the whole world had suddenly become mute. He was aware of every sound in the room. But the one sound he wanted to hear just did not reach him...her musical voice, her tinkling laughter.
He had avoided the confrontation for so long. Her stupid suicide attempt had prompted him to voice out the words he had kept bottled in his heart.
But now he wished he hadn't.
The way she had crumbled in front of his eyes still pinched at his heart.
Her crestfallen face when he had thrown away the stars, refused to leave his mind.
She had deserved it. Then why did it hurt him just why?
And why did her stoic silence kill him and deafen his world?
He looked around for her. But she was nowhere to be seen.
He searched for her frantically...there she was sleeping with her head nestled close to her only friend for a long time...Lakshmiji
Something twisted inside his heart
He did not know.
He had to talk to her.
He needed a reason as to why she did it. Why she chose Shyam. Why she wanted to hurt his Di.
'Khushi' he said. Slowly she woke up and tried to focus her eyes,
'Khushi I need to talk to you. Come in' he said.
She followed him into the room quietly.
'So are you going to explain? Are you going to tell me what made you cheat on my Di and carry on with a married man? He asked with all the rage he could muster.
'No' she said.
'How dare you Khushi. I am asking you for an explanation and you can't give it? You cannot justify yourself or you will not? Case of the guilty mind?' Arnav asked cruelly, more out of frustration at not getting a denial from, her.
'No because you are not worth it.
No man who asks for proofs about his wife's character is worth it.
No man who attempts to kiss a girl while he already has a girlfriend is worth it.
No man who judges and condemns a girl he has been flirting with merely by seeing her in the arms of another man is worth it.
No man who accuses the character of a girl based on assumptions and without verifications is worth it,
No man who destroys the life of a girl for his own family is worth it,
No man who thinks character and virtue belong only to the rich and powerful, is worth it.
No Mr Arnav Singh Raixzada you are not worthy of an explanation. It is not I who need to prove my virtue to you because you saw me in Shyam's arms just once. I need proof of your virtue because I have seen you in Lavanya's arms countless times and have read so much about your alleged affairs.
Why does virtue have two different standards? One for the man and one for the woman. If you think I am worthy of being your wife only if I can prove my 'character', then you are worthy of being my husband only on proving your own virtue and ability to stay faithful to me.
So Mr Raizada, I will stay with you in the same roof. I will share this room and this house. You have the rest of the 6 months to prove both you and me innocent.
Yes you will search for proofs.
You will find out the truth.
And yes you also have this time to show me you are capable of fidelity.
You have to earn my trust and my forgiveness in this time. You have to prove me innocent.
Stay with me without touching me.
Stay with me without being in contact with any other woman.
Or I will walk away after 6 months.
The choice is yours because either way it is you who have to give the agnipariksha (test by fire)' she stormed and walked away.
Arnav watched her go, too stunned to speak.
Slowly, her words sank in and he realized he had wanted her to be innocent. He had wanted her to deny her love for Shyam. Wanted her to plead for a life with him. Wanted her to break down and say his trust mattered to her because she loved him.
But he realized that he had never earned the right to question her. He had assumed he had it. He had never earned the rights to demand answers. He had just arrogantly misused his authority. He had never given her anything. Just demanded and snatched.
He still had 3 months, to find proof of her innocence, to win her love after he proved it and win her back ...if he wanted her in his life as his wife. But did he want it?
As soon as the question arose it died out. Without Khushi he had no life anyway...
And the next few days saw Arnav Singh Raizada do exactly that. He found the truth behind Shyam and had him punished.
Night and day after this he wooed his wife. He shunned all female company. He stayed celibate even though he shared the same bed with her.
Every day he showed her how sorry he was and how much he loved her
And on the last day of the 6th month he stood before her vulnerably and said 'Khushi you are free to walk out tomorrow as the contract is over.
I understand now I was wrong.
I understand now I had no right to call you characterless.
I understand now what a beautiful person you are
But will you believe me when I say that even during all the ugly things I said and did, I loved you?
Would you believe me if I say if you leave me, I will just never be able to look forward to another day?
Will you do me the honour of being my wife for all my life?'
Khushi's eyes brimmed with tears and she let the open the deluge of tears that she had fought with for months.
Here he was, her husband, her man, trusting her and asking for her love and confessing his love.
Slowly she stepped forward and cupped his face and gently she said,
'Of course I will be your wife for life.
I just wanted you to know that marriages are not shams or duties to be fulfilled. There should be love, true soulful love or better to walk out of it.
I wanted you to know that a women's honour is her biggest pride and no one can question it, not even her husband, because it is this pride which keeps her going.
I wanted you to know that virtue and fidelity should not be for women alone. Men too should have it.
I wanted you to know that money and possessions cannot buy you the trust and love of a wife. It has to be earned.
Arnavji I forgive you because I know you love me and I love you just as much.
But you had to trust me too because if you not believed me now, every small thing can make you suspect me later.
And tomorrow if either the love or trust breaks down, let us promise to part because without these I cannot breathe.
Because I will die if I ever hear you say 'You don't have a character Khushi'
Arnav hugged her close to him and fervently kissed her face, all the while whispering, 'I am sorry baby. I am sorry. I want to thank God and your parents for creating a wonderful human being like you my dear Khushi.
And I promise you that if something can part us, it can only be death and nothing else...
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