Can infidelity ever be acceptable? - Page 8

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moomin4455

@moomin4455

IF-Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: boreddamsel

Too many rules.. too many rules. Life seems so much easier, if you just have sex with one person! Some people just love making their life messy don't they? 😆

Agreed to stuff you pointed out, but that doesn't mean an open relationship is similar to marriage or a live-in, with the exception that you can sleep with others. I mean isn't marriage and live-in about commitment to one another, or is the commitment in an open relationship the fact that you won't be emotionally attached to any one else?

Hmm.. I guess ultimately it comes down to the two people. They define what works and what doesn't. Let's leave it at that! 😆

You can have open marriages...and yes I think the commitment in open relationships is more to do with the emotional aspect. Not everyone equates sex with love and emotion.

BD, if relationships were straight forward, carefully defined things people would have more straightforward lives.

Relationships are strange murky things that can sometimes take place between people who don't really know what they want, or who end up compromising more than they bargain for or compromising for a specific purpose - like accepting a partner who lies, cheats, sleeps with others etc.

I agree it really depends on the two (or more 😆) people involved...

Edited by moomin4455 - 11 years ago

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Ana_R

@LovelyPlanet

Goldie

Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: King-Anu

No I dont mind your views but yes I disagree. lol. Lets agree to disagree.

damn.. you had very interesting post earlier.. not fair..😆.. i wanted to reply to that

why prople are so image conscious here where no one knows you?

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Forever-KA

@Forever-KA

IF-Rockerz

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: lonely0planet

damn.. you had very interesting post earlier.. not fair..😆.. i wanted to reply to that

why prople are so image conscious here where no one knows you?

1- I am not image concious. I have my own views about homosexuality, infidelity, live-ins and I have stated those number of times. There is a reason people consider me narrow minded, conservative and all that. lol. If I was image concious I would have adjusted my views to please that lot. So first get that out of the way

2- I edit posts because of avoiding a debate. Basically I am here on DM but I dont believe in debates. I think its a waste of time. It is possible I am wrong. Rarely you see solid debates like that God topic.

3- Now if you want to reply then I can recollect what I wrote. Here it is

We humans are not chimps. lol. We have a highly developed brain which has much more capacity than any other animal. It has the ability to think, decide, execute, adjust, adopt so that we are able to live a life that is beneficial to us as individuals or as a group. One such execution is in shape of laws and standards of morality which are nothing but our creation based on events and our reactions over time.

If I put 2 chimps in a cage and dont feed them. They will fight and kill each other and who knows maybe eat each other as well.

If I put you in a cage with lets say Mcninja lol and dont feed you both. Will you both fight and kill eachother? Of course not. lol.

So yes I dont think desires, wishes, instincts, feelings, emotions, needs are reason for infidelity. If there was a model where humans slept with anyone that they want then it did not work and over time we developed better models and in those models infidelity is wrong. If you dont like anyone anymore then fine leave that person and then do fullfill your instincts.

Welcome to my other side - a side which you might not like. lol

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246851

Hibernated

Posted: 11 years ago

what is infidelity?

if you are true to your spouse physically, do not have any physical relationship with anyone else but have lost all respect for your partner for one reason or another, see yourself stuck in a relationship and spend more time with someone else, just talking to that person, will it be infidelity? will it be acceptable?

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Forever-KA

@Forever-KA

IF-Rockerz

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: tannipartner
what is infidelity?

if you are true to your spouse physically, do not have any physical relationship with anyone else but have lost all respect for your partner for one reason or another, see yourself stuck in a relationship and spend more time with someone else, just talking to that person, will it be infidelity? will it be acceptable?

Marriage or a relationship is about commitment towards someone. Physical is one aspect of that commitment and if you engage in that then it is infidelity. If you are not emotionally involved and not interested anymore and spending unreasonable time with another person (which does not fall under friendship) then thats emotional infedility. Its not acceptable as far as I am cocnerned.

Note: I am only saying if someone has commited to something then they need to get out of that commitment and then engage is whatever they want to. I dont see whats the big deal in understanding this simple point? We do that all the time in other walks of life.

Edited by King-Anu - 11 years ago

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Ana_R

@LovelyPlanet

Goldie

Posted: 11 years ago

damn.. you had very interesting post earlier.. not fair... i wanted to reply to that
why prople are so image conscious here where no one knows you?

[/QUOTE]

1- I am not image concious. I have my own views about homosexuality, infidelity, live-ins and I have stated those number of times. There is a reason people consider me narrow minded, conservative and all that. lol. If I was image concious I would have adjusted my views to please that lot. So first get that out of the way

LOL, people dont like broad minded like me either..Now only if we stop worrying about these people 😆

2- I edit posts because of avoiding a debate. Basically I am here on DM but I dont believe in debates. I think its a waste of time. It is possible I am wrong. Rarely you see solid debates like that God topic.
hahah you thought that was a solid debate?

3- Now if you want to reply then I can recollect what I wrote. Here it is

thanks 😊

We humans are not chimps. lol. We have a highly developed brain which has much more capacity than any other animal. It has the ability to think, decide, execute, adjust, adopt so that we are able to live a life that is beneficial to us as individuals or as a group. One such execution is in shape of laws and standards of morality which are nothing but our creation based on events and our reactions over time.
totally agree.. we are highly developed(language is a small example) and different, yet a lot similar how we react emotionally and instinctively(which we dont have control over).

What makes us different from chimps is that we have the ability to control our instincts. This is a very loose example. Please please dont take it in wrong manner. Lets say there is person A. He or she likes B and wants to marry. Then later A sees and wants to marry C. Those are instincts/emotions of like and affection. In the end overwhelming marry one person. Why? We controlled our instinct.
no, inot taking wrong..
i think if B and C are fine with each other, A should marry both.. There are still parts in the world where such marriages are allowed and work well. Dropadi was married to all 5 pandavas and they all had good lives

If I put 2 chimps in a cage and dont feed them. They will fight and kill each other and who knows maybe eat each other as well.
human beings kill, rape commit crimes and so on..likewise not all chimps would kill i think

If I put you in a cage with lets say Mcninja lol and dont feed you both. Will you both fight and kill eachother? Of course not. lol.
was happy being in cage with you 😆 .. now why do you want Ninja with me now. No i cant kill anyone(happy vegan, prefer staying hungry if i dont find anything right to eat)

So yes I dont think desires, wishes, instincts, feelings, emotions, needs are reason for infidelity. If there was a model where humans slept with anyone that they want then it did not work and over time we developed better models and in those models infidelity is wrong. If you dont like anyone anymore then fine leave that person and then do fullfill your instincts.

i think sex is like food, people should be allowed tio enjoy more than one kind. how life would be if each person just slept with 1 person? also what about the places with gender ratio problem, some people will die without ever having a f*** ? how sad 😆

Welcome to my other side - a side which you might not like. lol
thanks, i like all sides once i like that is (which i rare)..:)

looks like i will have to come back for an edit 😕

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BirdieNumNum

@BirdieNumNum

IF-Dazzler

Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: lonely0planet

i may appear to be stalking you now 😆.. hope you don't mind..

most of the people have same stance as yours.. but human instincts are similar to closest related primates chimps(female chimp have sex with all willing male chimps)..

physical features of humans also reflect multiple partners... if we compare monogamous species their organs are not that prominent.. hence science..

Now with time we have also evolved to be possessive about our belongings.. that's where this hue and cry come from.. cavemen believed in sharing from food to women to babies.. so now jealousy is old name of infidelity in my view...

My view is bold so fine to have disagreements😊

😆

yeah, werent those cave-times really good times? All one had to worry about was how to hunt for game (meat, woman...) and how to not get hunted down. So what should we do- take the world back to those times?😆

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Forever-KA

@Forever-KA

IF-Rockerz

+ 3

Posted: 11 years ago

LOL, people dont like broad minded like me either..Now only if we stop worrying about these people 😆

As I said if I was worrying then I would have changed my views. lol

hahah you thought that was a solid debate?

To be honest I dont know as I have not followed it at all. However the presence of Mr. K there is a good indicator that there is something serious going on. lol.

totally agree.. we are highly developed(language is a small example) and different, yet a lot similar how we react emotionally and instinctively(which we dont have control over).

Fair enough

no, inot taking wrong..
i think if B and C are fine with each other, A should marry both.. There are still parts in the world where such marriages are allowed and work well. Dropadi was married to all 5 pandavas and they all had good lives

I gave a bad example and therefore we have deviated to polygamy which is not infidelity as it involves consent. The point is instincts, feelings, emotions change and there are lot of it and therefore we cannot act on each.

human beings kill, rape commit crimes and so on..likewise not all chimps would kill i think

And why do they do that? This represents lack of control over their feelings/emotions/instincts. No food for 10 days - basic instinct of hunger challenged and therefore we commit crime. A girl going on street at night - some could not control their needs and commit a crime. A man married to a good woman - sees hot girl in office starts flirting. You get what I mean?

was happy being in cage with you 😆 .. now why do you want Ninja with me now. No i cant kill anyone(happy vegan, prefer staying hungry if i dont find anything right to eat)

Well I wrote it in hurry and the realize you can mind so removed it. Now dont say I am image concious. Just want you not to feel uncomfortable. Both you and Ninja are good soul and I therefoe take luxury to joke.

i think sex is like food, people should be allowed tio enjoy more than one kind. how life would be if each person just slept with 1 person? also what about the places with gender ratio problem, some people will die without ever having a f*** ? how sad 😆

Ok this is a bit direct. Your point is irrelevant as this debate is about infidelity and not how many times one should engage in such activity. In this contract of marriage/commitment one can only have one-dish. People can have as many dishes as they want and as many times as they want as long as they have not commited to eating one dish.

thanks, i like all sides once i like that is (which i rare)..:)

Its good hearted statement which I appreciate. However with time we get to know people more and our opinions change.

looks like i will have to come back for an edit 😕

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Ana_R

@LovelyPlanet

Goldie

Posted: 11 years ago

i REALLY wanted to edit some stuff..

okay nvm.. dont want to type sthing in 30 secs again, let me come back and reply to you and Birdie ..

Edited by lonely0planet - 11 years ago

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824902

Inactive

Posted: 11 years ago

Originally posted by: King-Anu

We humans are not chimps. lol. We have a highly developed brain which has much more capacity than any other animal. It has the ability to think, decide, execute, adjust, adopt so that we are able to live a life that is beneficial to us as individuals or as a group. One such execution is in shape of laws and standards of morality which are nothing but our creation based on events and our reactions over time.

What makes us different from chimps is that we have the ability to control our instincts. This is a very loose example. Please please dont take it in wrong manner. Lets say there is person A. He or she likes B and wants to marry. Then later A sees and wants to marry C. Those are instincts/emotions of like and affection. In the end overwhelming marry one person. Why? We controlled our instinct.

If I put 2 chimps in a cage and dont feed them. They will fight and kill each other and who knows maybe eat each other as well.

If I put you in a cage with lets say Mcninja lol and dont feed you both. Will you both fight and kill eachother? Of course not. lol.

So yes I dont think desires, wishes, instincts, feelings, emotions, needs are reason for infidelity. If there was a model where humans slept with anyone that they want then it did not work and over time we developed better models and in those models infidelity is wrong. If you dont like anyone anymore then fine leave that person and then do fullfill your instincts.

Welcome to my other side - a side which you might not like. lol

LOL, you'll be glad to know I draw the line at cannibalism King. Cage or no cage, so good guess. And no offense taken, humor is fun when it's meant in goodwill 😆

I agree with your assertion that humans control and condition themselves to be monogamous. Naturally though, I think we are meant to be polygamous but that doesn't necessarily mean we should be promiscuous. There is a difference. Regardless of all that, socially we are one-(wo)man type creatures and it's better off that way..it pays to evolve from our wild, Paleolithic ancestors.

^^This is just an attempt to stay on topic, welcome Mooms. 😆

Edited by McNinja - 11 years ago

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