Originally posted by boreddamsel
do we have to give up hope? Maybe it is out there, just we haven't found it! Yes, it's been 10 years since I have been meeting the wrong people
.. and I think I should give up.. but somehow I don't want to. What if you give up, and the moment you look away, the dude just passes you. Or are you saying that there is no concept of spending the rest of your life with that one person?
But I wonder about what you said here : "it is possible to love many people, and to love more than one person romantically (whether or not that goes anywhere or one acts on it is another thing altogether)" .. are you saying its normal to feel attracted to someone else while you are with another.. I agree about having crushes or thinking someone's cute.
But if you are really attracted to someone, doesn't that mean you are not happy in the relationship you are in .. that something is lacking, which is why you found it with someone else? So maybe you were in the wrong relationship after all and it's time to call it quits!
I mean to say that the concept of the "one true love" is far fetched. One can be hopeful, optimistic and romantic about the world. You can go on enjoying the present and living in the moment without necessarily always searching. Applies whether one is single or not.
I do think it's possible to have feelings for multiple people. It's true that we are conditioned to share that kind of relationship with just one person, but there are people who practice polyamoury in different forms. Some people have a primary long term relationship with someone but mutually agree to leave the door open for other sexual/romantic partners. It's amazing how liberating it feels to let go of jealousy/possessiveness and just be with someone because you want to spend time with them, which doesn't foreclose the possibilities you might explore with others.