Debate Mansion

   

What makes LOVE unconditional? (Page 6)

Post Reply New Post

Page 6 of 15

epiphany.

IF-Sizzlerz

epiphany.

Joined: 01 July 2010

Posts: 19960

Posted: 16 March 2013 at 11:14am | IP Logged
Originally posted by boreddamsel

Originally posted by epiphany.

I kid. Tongue I am capable of loving a good enough fellow with a beard and unkempt hair. And I would feel devoid of all my self esteem if I do not pay my bills for myself. But I'm afraid this is not unconditional enough. I would not mind the untidy hair given a tidy heart. So, clearly we do specify conditions. We can love absolutely anyone, that is for sure but never without conditions. We'd love them only if they possess what we seek. 

And to answer your question, it is not much to ask for it if you are willing to give it. But will doesn't suffice. You give it in practice, that might get it for you in practice. Might, being the keyword.



@Bold.. Clap We love someone 'coz they meet our expectations.. but then if they do meet our expectations, don't we love them against all odds.. i mean through mood swings, through bad hair days.. through stress.. isn't that what unconditional love is? 

Amen.. to the last sentence! 

I haven't been object to such affection, for I am far too young for it. But I know of distant admiration and in it I find myself very able to appreciate them as they are. And while I am quite unconditional in my regard and also long-term, given I find what I seek, I know this - I'm cynical and I feel the constant need to conceal how I feel, and I conceal my utter admiration for my subject by proving to them verbally how very worthless they are. And for some reason I feel that if ever I do fall in love, I would not give my subject such a hard time. For me that's as unconditional as I can get, unafraid of my feelings.  Approve So like most matters I poke my nose in, I'd say here too that it's all a matter of perspective and that all of us would have our unique definitions for unconditional love.



The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

boreddamsel

Dear Guest, Being an unregistered member you are missing out on participating in the lively discussions happening on the topic "What makes LOVE unconditional? (Page 6)" in Debate Mansion forum. In addition you lose out on the fun interactions with fellow members and other member exclusive features that India-Forums has to offer. Join India's most popular discussion portal on Indian Entertainment. It's FREE and registration is effortless so JOIN NOW!

epiphany.

IF-Sizzlerz

epiphany.

Joined: 01 July 2010

Posts: 19960

Posted: 16 March 2013 at 11:37am | IP Logged
Originally posted by McNinja

Why is Arti getting the credit for guiding Gayu. I was there showing her the way long before any of you cradle snatchers Angry


Anyway, more than love...a mutual respect, understanding, and sense of responsibility to each other should be there. To me, this is compatability and I don't think love is a requirement to be good for each other. I still maintain look for things that can grow into love, not love itself. 

Romanticized love is what's been causing so much trouble to all you cynics. LOL That love is fleeting, and hard to maintain. Better off not using it as a standard for love. 



Why do you think cynics like us are often the first ones to be discussing love in the first place? 

And I do agree with your points. To love is easier than to strike compatibility and mutual respect. But we cannot chance to letting a simple could-be-anything regard bloom into love. It might or it might not. Existence might not be harmonious enough when there might not be love. The odds are higher that there won't be, for if mutual respect, understanding and a sense of responsibility could not kindle it, what might? Embarrassed

The following 2 member(s) liked the above post:

boreddamselMcNinja

farheen75

IF-Rockerz

farheen75

Joined: 25 November 2011

Posts: 6233

Posted: 16 March 2013 at 12:44pm | IP Logged
U know what arti love is a very over rated thing between a man and a woman... Both the parties demand a certain amount of everything to make that relationship work... A long term and stable relationship depends on how the couple treat their respective partners and what they both bring to that relationship... They work as a couple if the expectations of the both the parties r met or at least met to certain extemt which is keeps them and satisfied, whether they r physical, emotional or financial... After the initial attraction part is over what makes the couple stay together is the dreams and ambitions they share together and r willing to work on the differences they might have.

Physical relation is a very important part of a relationship so they have to be compatible in this area as well.

As far as unconditional love is concerned then sorry to say it doesn't exist in a relationship with your partner, for example u want your partner to be loyal to u and with this first want unconditionality goes out of the window bcz its the first condition u put for that relationship to be successful and so on and so forth... U want your partner to respect u and not treat u like crap so this another condition for the that relationship to progress... I personally believe that every relationship needs certain conditions to make it work and keep it beautiful and fulfilling at the same time.

PS: only unconditional love is parent's love bcz only your parents can love u no matter his good or bad u r... I didn't mention it above as its not the topic of the discussion.

The following 4 member(s) liked the above post:

BirdieNumNummoomin4455boreddamselMcNinja

boreddamsel

IF-Rockerz

boreddamsel

Joined: 22 March 2012

Posts: 8283

Posted: 16 March 2013 at 12:59pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by farheen75

U know what arti love is a very over rated thing between a man and a woman... Both the parties demand a certain amount of everything to make that relationship work... A long term and stable relationship depends on how the couple treat their respective partners and what they both bring to that relationship... They work as a couple if the expectations of the both the parties r met or at least met to certain extemt which is keeps them and satisfied, whether they r physical, emotional or financial... After the initial attraction part is over what makes the couple stay together is the dreams and ambitions they share together and r willing to work on the differences they might have.

Physical relation is a very important part of a relationship so they have to be compatible in this area as well.

As far as unconditional love is concerned then sorry to say it doesn't exist in a relationship with your partner, for example u want your partner to be loyal to u and with this first want unconditionality goes out of the window bcz its the first condition u put for that relationship to be successful and so on and so forth... U want your partner to respect u and not treat u like crap so this another condition for the that relationship to progress... I personally believe that every relationship needs certain conditions to make it work and keep it beautiful and fulfilling at the same time.

PS: only unconditional love is parent's love bcz only your parents can love u no matter his good or bad u r... I didn't mention it above as its not the topic of the discussion.

Oh.. very interesting reply, sweetheart. I agree with everything.  
So a relationship works if the couple's expectations about each other are met.. that's a great way to put it. You also mentioned respect, compatibility and willingness to work together!  

So I guess you go into a relationship with expectations .. and not knowing whether the person is the ONE .. and if you realize later that your partner doesn't meet your expectations, then you try to work on your differences!

The following 3 member(s) liked the above post:

BirdieNumNummoomin4455farheen75

BirdieNumNum

Senior Member

BirdieNumNum

Joined: 07 October 2012

Posts: 967

Posted: 16 March 2013 at 1:19pm | IP Logged

for me, it's always love at first sight... every time, all the time till there's new sighting.LOL

jokes aside, i think love usually starts off as unconditional. The strings get attached later. Sort of like the attachments people develop over a lifetime.

in many ways, i think relationships and who we pick as partners is not much different from how firms pick employees. It's often random. It can be first impressions, luck, talent, looks, ability, politics, influence, family connections, credentials etc. Ultimately, the longevity of the relationship is based on both sides wanting it to last. The job market might suck so the employee might feel stuck even if the employer is bad. Conversely, the employee might suck but the employer might not have alternatives. Later, the two get so used to each other that they stick together out of inertia, kids, habit. That's sort of a business view, sorry for ruining the romantic notions.LOL


Edited by BirdieNumNum - 16 March 2013 at 1:21pm

The following 3 member(s) liked the above post:

moomin4455boreddamselfarheen75

boreddamsel

IF-Rockerz

boreddamsel

Joined: 22 March 2012

Posts: 8283

Posted: 16 March 2013 at 1:31pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by BirdieNumNum


for me, it's always love at first sight... every time, all the time till there's new sighting.LOL

jokes aside, i think love usually starts off as unconditional. The strings get attached later. Sort of like the attachments people develop over a lifetime.

in many ways, i think relationships and who we pick as partners is not much different from how firms pick employees. It's often random. It can be first impressions, luck, talent, looks, ability, politics, influence, family connections, credentials etc. Ultimately, the longevity of the relationship is based on both sides wanting it to last. The job market might suck so the employee might feel stuck even if the employer is bad. Conversely, the employee might suck but the employer might not have alternatives. Later, the two get so used to each other that they stick together out of inertia, kids, habit. That's sort of a business view, sorry for ruining the romantic notions.LOL

Every time there is a "piece" sighting.. eh.. I get it.. LOL

I don't know if love is ever unconditional. When you are attracted to a person, it is usually because something about them fulfills your requirements.. haha.. just like a job interview, bingo Clap But then there are different rounds of interviews.. if you pass all of the requirements, you make it through. And finally the offer letter with the terms and condition is the marriage proposal! You enter the job, the new job is exciting and things are relaxed and everyone treats you well (the first few months at work is actually called as honeymoon period for the same reason).. Then demands increase.. work gets tough, you get stressed out .. Then slowly the job gets monotonous after a while.. Brilliant analogy and I am loving it so far. Smile

But actually the relationships market is not as terrible as the job market. So you do have the option to quit. Unlike being jobless, being single isn't a bad thing.. in fact I would say its definitely better than suffering through a relationship that you gives you stress! 

The following 3 member(s) liked the above post:

BirdieNumNummoomin4455farheen75

farheen75

IF-Rockerz

farheen75

Joined: 25 November 2011

Posts: 6233

Posted: 16 March 2013 at 1:37pm | IP Logged
Yeah arti at the beginning of any relationship u don't know if the person is the right one or not its like u can't judge a book by its cover similarly u can't judge a person by his/her appearance it can only be done when u start going out together or in case of arrange marriage know after the wedding, but from the start two things r a pre requisite for turning that certain relationship or wedding into a sure shot success and they r respect and trust bcz without these two important things love cannot happen... How can u love somebody without even respecting them and trusting them to not ever hurt u or back stabbing u.

As far as the differences r concerned u should be committed to work on them with your all but if u think that u two song be able to solve them then if they r of very small nature and doesn't hamper your general equation with that person then u learn to adjust and compromise it if they r of huge nature and making u both unhappy and bitter then u should either go for a trial seperation and reassess your priorities and feelings towards each other and in life and see whether ypur partners makes u happy or sad and then take a sensible and desicion or simply end the relationship.

The following 1 member(s) liked the above post:

boreddamsel

BirdieNumNum

Senior Member

BirdieNumNum

Joined: 07 October 2012

Posts: 967

Posted: 16 March 2013 at 1:43pm | IP Logged
Originally posted by boreddamsel


Every time there is a "piece" sighting.. eh.. I get it.. LOL

I don't know if love is ever unconditional. When you are attracted to a person, it is usually because something about them fulfills your requirements.. haha.. just like a job interview, bingo Clap But then there are different rounds of interviews.. if you pass all of the requirements, you make it through. And finally the offer letter with the terms and condition is the marriage proposal! You enter the job, the new job is exciting and things are relaxed and everyone treats you well (the first few months at work is actually called as honeymoon period for the same reason).. Then demands increase.. work gets tough, you get stressed out .. Then slowly the job gets monotonous after a while.. Brilliant analogy and I am loving it so far. Smile

But actually the relationships market is not as terrible as the job market. So you do have the option to quit. Unlike being jobless, being single isn't a bad thing.. in fact I would say its definitely better than suffering through a relationship that you gives you stress! 


i think they are similar in other ways too. There's future uncertainty. One can never be sure how things will turn out when one is "outside" or makes a switch. That's what stops people from taking the plunge every time a new opportunity presents itself. Also, the grass looks greener on the other side many a time but we stay put because we often like to stay with the known devil than the unknown. I know that relating all this in business terms sounds bizarre, but both situations involve people and their assessment of each other. In both situations, we are also trying to optimize/ maximize our well-being.Smile Profit/ wealth optimization in one case, physical/ mental on the other. 

another analogy is like picking stocks. We dont know how the stock will pan out, we just stay with it as long as it is the best performer. Later, people get emotionally invested or married to the investment, so they never look to get out even when they shouldLOL

The following 2 member(s) liked the above post:

moomin4455McNinja

Post Reply New Post

Go to top

Related Topics

  Topics Topic Starter Replies Views Last Post
Rs32 a day makes you Indian Middle class monar 3 611 23 September 2011 at 9:55am
By Pratamesh
Religion makes us crazy

2 3

SolidSnake 23 1099 01 June 2010 at 1:48am
By Vinzy
Learning religions makes you less ignorant?

2 3 4 5 6

Mockingjay1 45 2107 23 May 2010 at 3:14am
By jettythegod
Love is love..thats it ?

2 3 4 5 6 7 8

raj5000 60 5832 10 February 2008 at 9:45am
By Gauri_3
passionate love vs companionate love ((((( 3 2577 23 October 2007 at 8:52pm
By lighthouse

Forum Quick Jump

Forum Category

Active Forums

Debate Mansion Topic Index

Limit search to this Forum only.

 

Disclaimer: All Logos and Pictures of various Channels, Shows, Artistes, Media Houses, Companies, Brands etc. belong to their respective owners, and are used to merely visually identify the Channels, Shows, Companies, Brands, etc. to the viewer. Incase of any issue please contact the webmaster.